INTRO
Oh hi,
BRIEF
*The Goonies* follows a group of misfit kids from the “Goon Docks” who discover a treasure map in the attic. With their neighborhood facing demolition, they embark on a quest to find the lost fortune of the pirate One-Eyed Willy. Along the way, they’re pursued by the criminal Fratelli family and face a series of traps, puzzles, and growing pains on their way to ultimate friendship and possible maritime property theft.
Rated: PG | 1985 | Adventure/Comedy | 1h 54m
LINKS
IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089218/
Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Goonies
Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/goonies
TVTropes: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/TheGoonies
WHERE TO WATCH
HBO Max (Max Max): https://play.max.com/movie/ac984c7c-76d5-482e-9d5f-ddc21c0f0c3c
JustWatch: https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/the-goonies
TRAILER/CLIPS
Social Media Post
SHOW NOTES
- Is this the most Spielberg film not directed by Spielberg?
- Into the eye of the skull… man what an intro… was the the original theatrical card.
- The longer you dogs bark… the colder your food gets.
- I hung myself. To whom it may concern… you schmuck.
- Joey Pants and Mama.
- Lets set this place on fire…
- The jauntiest prison break.
- Mom in her 5 speed Jeep.
- Momma likes to eat crackers while doing her getaway.
- Ok guys… let’s try the victory pyramid!
- That is not how plumbing works Corey.
- The Car Chase that introduces all the characters as it goes across town.
- Trust in your old mother boys…. I have this timed to a beach rally… 4 wheeling.
- Meanwhile across the Goon Docks… nothing exciting ever happens.
- Dictate myself… Delude yourself dummy.
- He has Asthma as the wimp.
- Last Goonie Weekend!
- Sniffing some lace.
- Come on Brolin… you failed your driver’s test.
- First you got to do the Truffle Shuffle… C’mon… Do it… C’mon… Do it… Cut it out.
- Who is the Rube Goldberg around here…
- It’s more amazing… than Michael Jackson to use the bathroom… but his sister did.
- Hey, I bet you guys thought I was going to drop it.
- That’s my mom’s most favorite piece.
- If he gets his next 400 paychecks by tomorrow afternoon.
- Data the kid.
- Rosaletta is going to help us with the packing…
- How did mom hurt her arm?
- It is real hard to understand everything they are saying… but that is fine.. that is how spastic kids are.
- The Marijuana goes in the top drawer.
- Mr. Walsh doesn’t like anyone up in his attic.
- I would really like the house clean when they tear it down.
- Nice is my middle name Mrs Walsh.
- I don’t like that language…but that is exactly what you are in.
- Mickey can’t go outside… he will get the asthma.
- Dad is going to give all the stuff back to the museum… where he is the Curator.
- Maybe he has some rich stuff!
- Sweat Pants under shorts. Why not.
- The magic of the Attic in the 80s/90s
- Chunk is Jewish? Old Hannakah decorations in his attic.
- You’re ruining the painting. You are ruining my joke.
- The History of Astoria and these are the rejects. I’m not a reject.
- Just old forgotten junk with no value…
- Chunk is a dependable butter fingers.
- 1632… is that a year of something… no it is your high score on Pole Position.
- Mouth can read Spanish… what a setup.
- This map is old news… The Pirate Guy… One eyed Willy… the most famous pirate of his time.
- Ruby’s emeralds and Diamonds.
- Forever… and ever… trapped.
- My dad tells me the truth.
- Setting Booty Traps… that’s what I said.. .Booby.
- Chester Copperpot.
- This movie has so much freaking setup.
- But what if… what if this leads to One Eyed Willie’s Rich Stuff.
- I don’t want to go on anymore of your Goonie Adventures.
- Troy’s dad.
- Trash the Goon Docks
- Make it a sandtrap and never get their balls out.
- This music sweeps you right along.
- That Country Club is ruing our lives.
- Tie up your bother with this chest building springs.
- 376 Lawn mowing jobs to pay for that.
- Goonies… good enough for me.
- Can’t you learn how to exercise like a normal kid
- Rosalita… give me a hand.
- Astoria
- Mickey talks like his mom.
- Teenagers taking smaller kids stuff is always funny.
- 00-Negative.
- Shut-up Chunk.
- Anybody got a candy bar… baby ruth.
- Troy and his Astoria CC cap.
- We used to try to kill each other in the 80s and it was funny. Hold onto my car sucker.
- It fits the Doubloon?
- Drug Dealers wouldn’t be caught dead in those polyester pants
- Let’s convince ourselves that it is ok.
- Kids are spastic
- You need about 400 roach hotels in this place.
- You boys like Tongue.
- ORV
- Mikey this is not the type of place you want to go to the bathroom
- Stay to the right…
- That water needs filtering.
- Don’t feed the sloth.
- Kids suck.
- They got an it… a giant it.
- Come on Guys… this is our time.
- You know.. tilting the mirror to look down my shirt.
- I got pictures of your mom taking a bath…
- Pike on a Pike… fish head on a stick
- poor old Chunk’s stomach is a character in this movie.
- Bigger Brother will go along if it means getting lucky.
- Shame Shame I know your name.
- You Klutz… I hope it’s not a deposit bottle.
- Where are you. You are in the clouds and we are in a basement.
- Fifty Dollar Bill!!
- We have the money to save the Goon Docks
- Counterfeiting money is the easy way…
- They got Chocolate Eruption… and dead bodies!
- Let’s kill each other over the pepperoni.
- The only way out is through! It starts here.
- We all wore Nikes
- Could have been a Tremor mom.
- He better not have broken those chains. I’m not going to zoo for another set.
- Why are they sacrificing Chunk! He’s going to get the police.
- Bully Blinders… I got light. The only problem is that the batteries don’t last long.
- Singing in Italian.
- Let’s bang on the pipes all day.
- I don’t remember the pipes scene at all. One central location that all the pipes run from.
- Lost my glasses.
- Reverse Pressure… Troy says… daddy!
- First we start with the pudgy little fingers.
- Chunk is a rat.
- Should have stayed with Troy…
- I got nuts and I pigged out at fat camp.
- Oh look candles… made of dynamite!
- I’m setting booty traps…that’s what I said.
- Dead bodies really creep kids out.
- God put that rock there for a purpose. I’m not so sure you should move it.. RABIES RABIES!
- But the worst thing I ever done… fake puke… then I made a noise like this… hoooah…. then this was horrible.. the people started getting sick.
- Do I get the truth or do I get the juice.
- Joey Pants Toupee
- Another treasure find… nope… keep going… it is only a wishing well… you can’t take the money
- Martin Sheen…Kennedy…same.
- These are somebody else’s wishes.
- This was my dream… this was my wish. and it didn’t come true.
- What’s that… a cracker jack prize.
- What did you wish for… to make it with Andy… rejected.
- Goonies Never Say Die. I’m not a goonie I just want to go home.
- The next time you take a test it will be in some other school.
- Cause it’s their time. Up there… down here it’s our time. That is all over the second we ride up Troy’s bucket.
- AAAANDY! You Goonie!
- Ruth Ruth Ruth… Baby.
- Geez mister… you are even hungrier than I am.
- Sure… right before they ate ’em.
- Follow them size 5.
- Sloth… Chunk Food exchange.
- Randy, Man, you smell like Phys Ed.
- Data Pinchers of power are just a bit too far…
- Chunk is known for pranks… and makes a gremlins joke…
- Mikey has a pee problem. Pee break.
- haha… go see what she is ragging about…that sounds offensive.
- Brand.. I am in here…with my eyes closed.
- Does Brand wear braces. She ain’t going to tell her she kissed the kid brother?
- I can smell their bubble gum.
- This cave is a skull! One Eye’d Willie was busy.
- Jerk Alert!
- Who packs their dynamite with their red candles that look like dynamite.
- The Spanish Rhyme Rhymes in translation. weird.
- Goonies always make mistakes. This Finger Bone Piano is out of tune.
- How many inhaler puffs is this movie.
- Love this music so much…
- Data is quiet tired of fallen and skeletons.
- Data has had enough..
- This whole ship is a treasure.
- WHERE’S THE GOLD Mikey!
- One Eyed Willy Died Like he lived… with his treasure.
- I’m Mike Walsh… you’ve been expecting me.
- So that is why they call you one eyed willy.
- One Eye’d Willy was the first Goonie.
- Marble bag of coins.
- I saw this on the Hardy Brothers
- Data is a loose cannon.
- Mouth full of pearls.
- You wanna play pirate?
- Brand and Andy.
- HEEEY YOU GUYS!
- Captain Chunk says… let’s get the hell out of here.
- We are in deep shit now Frances..
- Super Sloth!
- Mama… Ma you been back…
- Break… Fall… mama… dropped sloth…once or maybe twice.
- That’s not a candle…that’s dynamite!
- Escape is through Sloth’s Legs.
- Sloth Love Chunk.
- Goonies never say no to Rube Goldberg devices.
- You can’t hug a photo… you are my best invention.
- Your voice is kind of nice when your mouth doesn’t screw it up.
- The parts of you that don’t work so good are going to catch up the parts that do.
- haha… Let her mother worry.
- Sloth and Chunk forever.
- We had our hands on the future…
- Do you get to keep the gold you find?
- No sign… what’s in the bag… jewels… do you take precious stones as payment.
- The octopus! They skipped that part.
- Holy Mary Mother Of God… look at that.
- …and what appears to be a pirate ship.
- RV Bullet Holes!
- It’s Brand Mom.
- Data is Q if Q was 10 and wore a utility belt full of slapstick.
- Josh Brolin’s most underrated performance? Those sweatpants say yes.
- Astoria: Where every attic has pirate maps and old artifacts.
- Chunk’s confessional scene is pure Oscar-worthy chaos.
- Sloth loves Chunk. We all do.
- That water slide needs a real-world recreation stat.
- “Booty traps!” … “You mean booby traps?”
- One-Eyed Willy’s trap game is strong. Very strong.
- Corey Feldman speaks fluent 1980s sarcasm.
- That piano scene could’ve been a *Saw* movie.
- Rosalita’s Spanish lesson turned horror story.
- “Goonies never say die”—unless it’s from asthma or parental foreclosure.
- Is the Fratelli lair the first Escape Room?
- The giant pirate ship reveal still slaps in 2025.
- Mama Fratelli is terrifying and somehow lovable.
- Brand: protector or just bad at bike theft?
- The Goonies’ real treasure was friendship… but also gold.
- Don’t forget the jewels in Mikey’s marble bag!
- Does One-Eyed Willy count as a haunted NPC?
- “Let’s get outta here before one of them says ‘dead body!’”
