The Goonies (1985) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

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Oh hi,

This week on Filmsack, we follow the treasure map of nostalgia to a one-eye’d Willie’s worth of treasure that is 1985’s THE GOONIES and go on one final adventure with our neighborhood friends before we wave goodbye to the pirate ship filled with our childhood rich stuff and sails off to the shores of HBO Max Max where the Country Club Troy of CEOs Casey Bloys is adjusting the rear view mirror of renaming shit trying to look down our blouse. Heeeeey Yooooou Guuuuys… Boobies Trap… what.. yeah… yeah that’s what I said… Boobies Trap 

Anywho, I was just packing my treasure hunting gear and I am starting to realize the folly of purchasing red pillar candles that are the same shape, size and color as sticks of dynamite… Gee… I sure hope no kids come along after my death and mistake the 2 in a comical manner that heightens the tension of their adventures.  Nah, I’m kidding. I’m dead. I don’t care. Copppppeerpot!

Randy, that’s my mom’s favorite piece! She calls it his One-Eyed Willie

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BRIEF

*The Goonies* follows a group of misfit kids from the “Goon Docks” who discover a treasure map in the attic. With their neighborhood facing demolition, they embark on a quest to find the lost fortune of the pirate One-Eyed Willy. Along the way, they’re pursued by the criminal Fratelli family and face a series of traps, puzzles, and growing pains on their way to ultimate friendship and possible maritime property theft.

Rated: PG | 1985 | Adventure/Comedy | 1h 54m

LINKS

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089218/

Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Goonies

Rotten Tomatoes: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/goonies

TVTropes: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/TheGoonies

WHERE TO WATCH

HBO Max (Max Max): https://play.max.com/movie/ac984c7c-76d5-482e-9d5f-ddc21c0f0c3c

JustWatch: https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/the-goonies

TRAILER/CLIPS

Social Media Post

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*The Goonies* (1985) – Tell Rosalita The treasure map goes in the top drawer. The fake puke and sloth’s baby ruth go in the second drawer. And Chunk’s confession tape goes in the bottom drawer.  #BootyTraps

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SHOW NOTES

• Is this the most Spielberg film not directed by Spielberg?
• Into the eye of the skull… man what an intro… was the the original theatrical card.
• The longer you dogs bark… the colder your food gets.
• I hung myself. To whom it may concern… you schmuck.
• Joey Pants and Mama.
• Lets set this place on fire…
• The jauntiest prison break.
• Mom in her 5 speed Jeep.
• Momma likes to eat crackers while doing her getaway.
• Ok guys… let’s try the victory pyramid!
• That is not how plumbing works Corey.
• The Car Chase that introduces all the characters as it goes across town.
• Trust in your old mother boys…. I have this timed to a beach rally… 4 wheeling.
• Meanwhile across the Goon Docks… nothing exciting ever happens.
• Dictate myself… Delude yourself dummy.
• He has Asthma as the wimp.
• Last Goonie Weekend! 
• Sniffing some lace.
• Come on Brolin… you failed your driver’s test.
• First you got to do the Truffle Shuffle… C’mon… Do it… C’mon… Do it… Cut it out.
• Who is the Rube Goldberg around here…
• It’s more amazing… than Michael Jackson to use the bathroom… but his sister did.
• Hey, I bet you guys thought I was going to drop it.
• That’s my mom’s most favorite piece.
• If he gets his next 400 paychecks by tomorrow afternoon.
• Data the kid.
• Rosaletta is going to help us with the packing…
• How did mom hurt her arm?
• It is real hard to understand everything they are saying…  but that is fine.. that is how spastic kids are.
• The Marijuana goes in the top drawer.
• Mr. Walsh doesn’t like anyone up in his attic.
• I would really like the house clean when they tear it down.
• Nice is my middle name Mrs Walsh.
• I don’t like that language…but that is exactly what you are in.
• Mickey can’t go outside… he will get the asthma.
• Dad is going to give all the stuff back to the museum… where he is the Curator.
• Maybe he has some rich stuff!
• Sweat Pants under shorts. Why not.
• The magic of the Attic in the 80s/90s
• Chunk is Jewish? Old Hannakah decorations in his attic.
• You’re ruining the painting. You are ruining my joke.
• The History of Astoria and these are the rejects. I’m not a reject.
• Just old forgotten junk with no value…
• Chunk is a dependable butter fingers.
• 1632… is that a year of something… no it is your high score on Pole Position.
• Mouth can read Spanish… what a setup.
• This map is old news… The Pirate Guy… One eyed Willy… the most famous pirate of his time.
• Ruby’s emeralds and Diamonds.
• Forever… and ever… trapped.
• My dad tells me the truth.
• Setting Booty Traps… that’s what I said.. .Booby.
• Chester Copperpot.
• This movie has so much freaking setup.
• But what if… what if this leads to One Eyed Willie’s Rich Stuff.
• I don’t want to go on anymore of your Goonie Adventures.
• Troy’s dad.
• Trash the Goon Docks
• Make it a sandtrap and never get their balls out.
• This music sweeps you right along.
• That Country Club is ruing our lives.
• Tie up your  bother with this chest building springs.
• 376 Lawn mowing jobs to pay for that.
• Goonies… good enough for me.
• Can’t you learn how to exercise like a normal kid
• Rosalita… give me a hand.
• Astoria
• Mickey talks like his mom.
• Teenagers taking smaller kids stuff is always funny.
• 00-Negative.
• Shut-up Chunk.
• Anybody got a candy bar… baby ruth.
• Troy and his Astoria CC cap.
• We used to try to kill each other in the 80s and it was funny. Hold onto my car sucker.
• It fits the Doubloon?
• Drug Dealers wouldn’t be caught dead in those polyester pants
• Let’s convince ourselves that it is ok.
• Kids are spastic
• You need about 400 roach hotels in this place.
• You boys like Tongue.
• ORV 
• Mikey this is not the type of place you want to go to the bathroom
• Stay to the right… 
• That water needs filtering.
• Don’t feed the sloth.
• Kids suck.
• They got an it… a giant it.
• Come on Guys… this is our time.
• You know.. tilting the mirror to look down my shirt.
• I got pictures of your mom taking a bath…
• Pike on a Pike… fish head on a stick
• poor old Chunk’s stomach is a character in this movie.
• Bigger Brother will go along if it means getting lucky.
• Shame Shame I know your name.
• You Klutz… I hope it’s not a deposit bottle.
• Where are you. You are in the clouds and we are in a basement.
• Fifty Dollar Bill!!
• We have the money to save the Goon Docks
• Counterfeiting money is the easy way… 
• They got Chocolate Eruption… and dead bodies!
• Let’s kill each other over the pepperoni.
• The only way out is through! It starts here.
• We all wore Nikes
• Could have been a Tremor mom.
• He better not have broken those chains. I’m not going to zoo for another set.
• Why are they sacrificing Chunk! He’s going to get the police.
• Bully Blinders… I got light. The only problem is that the batteries don’t last long.
• Singing in Italian.
• Let’s bang on the pipes all day.
• I don’t remember the pipes scene at all. One central location that all the pipes run from.
• Lost my glasses. 
• Reverse Pressure… Troy says… daddy!
• First we start with the pudgy little fingers.
• Chunk is a rat.
• Should have stayed with Troy…
• I got nuts and I pigged out at fat camp.
• Oh look candles… made of dynamite!
• I’m setting booty traps…that’s what I said.
• Dead bodies really creep kids out.
• God put that rock there for a purpose. I’m not so sure you should move it.. RABIES RABIES!
• But the worst thing I ever done… fake puke… then I made a noise like this… hoooah…. then this was horrible.. the people started getting sick. 
• Do I get the truth or do I get the juice.
• Joey Pants Toupee
• Another treasure find… nope… keep going… it is only a wishing well… you can’t take the money
• Martin Sheen…Kennedy…same.
• These are somebody else’s wishes.
• This was my dream… this was my wish. and it didn’t come true.
• What’s that… a cracker jack prize.
• What did you wish for… to make it with Andy… rejected.
• Goonies Never Say Die. I’m not a goonie I just want to go home.
• The next time you take a test it will be in some other school.
• Cause it’s their time. Up there… down here it’s our time. That is all over the second we ride up Troy’s bucket.
• AAAANDY! You Goonie!
• Ruth Ruth Ruth… Baby.
• Geez mister… you are even hungrier than I am.
• Sure… right before they ate ’em. 
• Follow them size 5.
• Sloth… Chunk Food exchange.
• Randy, Man, you smell like Phys Ed.
• Data Pinchers of power are just a bit too far… 
• Chunk is known for pranks… and makes a gremlins joke…
• Mikey has a pee problem. Pee break.
• haha… go see what she is ragging about…that sounds offensive.
• Brand.. I am in here…with my eyes closed.
• Does Brand wear braces. She ain’t going to tell her she kissed the kid brother?
• I can smell their bubble gum.
• This cave is a skull! One Eye’d Willie was busy.
• Jerk Alert!
• Who packs their dynamite with their red candles that look like dynamite.
• The Spanish Rhyme Rhymes in translation. weird.
• Goonies always make mistakes. This Finger Bone Piano is out of tune.
• How many inhaler puffs is this movie.
• Love this music so much…
• Data is quiet tired of fallen and skeletons.
• Data has had enough..
• This whole ship is a treasure.
• WHERE’S THE GOLD Mikey!
• One Eyed Willy Died Like he lived… with his treasure.
• I’m Mike Walsh… you’ve been expecting me.
• So that is why they call you one eyed willy.
• One Eye’d Willy was the first Goonie.
• Marble bag of coins.
• I saw this on the Hardy Brothers
• Data is a loose cannon.
• Mouth full of pearls.
• You wanna play pirate?
• Brand and Andy.
• HEEEY YOU GUYS!
• Captain Chunk says… let’s get the hell out of here.
• We are in deep shit now Frances..
• Super Sloth!
• Mama… Ma you been back…
• Break… Fall… mama… dropped sloth…once or maybe twice.
• That’s not a candle…that’s dynamite!
• Escape is through Sloth’s Legs.
• Sloth Love Chunk.
• Goonies never say no to Rube Goldberg devices.
• You can’t hug a photo… you are my best invention.
• Your voice is kind of nice when your mouth doesn’t screw it up.
• The parts of you that don’t work so good are going to catch up the parts that do.
• haha… Let her mother worry.
• Sloth and Chunk forever.
• We had our hands on the future… 
• Do you get to keep the gold you find?
• No sign… what’s in the bag… jewels… do you take precious stones as payment.
• The octopus! They skipped that part.
• Holy Mary Mother Of God… look at that.
• …and what appears to be a pirate ship.
• RV Bullet Holes!
• It’s Brand Mom.
• Data is Q if Q was 10 and wore a utility belt full of slapstick.
• Josh Brolin’s most underrated performance? Those sweatpants say yes.
• Astoria: Where every attic has pirate maps and old artifacts.
• Chunk’s confessional scene is pure Oscar-worthy chaos.
• Sloth loves Chunk. We all do.
• That water slide needs a real-world recreation stat.
• “Booty traps!” … “You mean booby traps?”
• One-Eyed Willy’s trap game is strong. Very strong.
• Corey Feldman speaks fluent 1980s sarcasm.
• That piano scene could’ve been a *Saw* movie.
• Rosalita’s Spanish lesson turned horror story.
• “Goonies never say die”—unless it’s from asthma or parental foreclosure.
• Is the Fratelli lair the first Escape Room?
• The giant pirate ship reveal still slaps in 2025.
• Mama Fratelli is terrifying and somehow lovable.
• Brand: protector or just bad at bike theft?
• The Goonies’ real treasure was friendship… but also gold.
• Don’t forget the jewels in Mikey’s marble bag!
• Does One-Eyed Willy count as a haunted NPC?
• “Let’s get outta here before one of them says ‘dead body!’”