Quigley Down Under (1990) – Filmsack Show Notes

Quigley Down Under


Oh hi,

Dear Family, just an update on my job search so far. As you know it is difficult to find a job for us Aboriginals in British occupied Australia during the 1800s so you can imagine I had high hopes when I came across Mr. Marston’s newspaper ad for a manservant on his ranch. However, since taking the job, I have had to adjust my expectations to match the reality of manservant.

Anywho, A Yank showed up today to shoot dingoes with his sharp-shooting gun and he has the biggest mustache you have ever seen. You wouldn’t believe this thing! You could hide a couple of Baby Eating Dingoes and a Wallaby up in there….. and if that wasn’t enough facial hair for your Cheeto-Shaped-Grub Acid Trip Nightmares, then the fact that he has 2 more mustaches on his face surely will, one above each eye. It’s enough to make you want to go cliff diving with no water! Oh, that reminds me. How’s the baby? Too soon?

Well I have to go. It is time to serve Mr. Marston and the Yank their dinner. I hope they choke. Mr. Marston beats me and the Yank is giving me eyes that are saying “Before you make love to me. You have to say two words” How about No. There I only needed one.

Ok, Love you, and as always Didgeridoo and Kangaroo Poo.

No animals were harmed in the making of this intro. I mean…why would I even say that! We totally harmed the animals. Randy.




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YouTube player


Quigley Down Under (1990) – Before you make love to me. You have to say two words. “You mean Kangaroo Shit?” or Like a Gun Butt to the scroat… I can wait.


  • Down Undah
  • Newman Music…got to be.
  • Putting metal in leather. The Leather and metal show.
  • Drag your finger on a map down to Australia!
  • Taking the Miss Liberty across the ocean from California
  • Fremantle, Western Australia…the wild west of Australia.
  • Gun Butt to the testicles! That’ll fix your hurry up.
  • from Wyoming
  • That is 2 testicles blows in under 5 minutes.
  • Look out Roy! She ain’t no Damsel in distress. She is just a Damsel in a Mess.
  • Marston sent for you.
  • Crazy Cora
  • This music brings me joy. There is a lot of it.
  • Some beautiful shots.
  • The British. My old rival!
  • British bring in the cattle thieves and 2 deserters.
  • Irish can’t do the job?
  • Deep cut British jokes.
  • God made Australia last.
  • Pthlll…that is alot of dust…
  • Took him 3 months on a boat getting there.
  • Legendary Sharp. Lever-Action Breach Loader. Usual barrel length’s 30 inches. This one has an extra four. It’s converted to us a special .45-calibre, 110-grain metal cartridge. with a 540-grain-paper-patched bullet. It’s fitted with double set triggers and a vernier sight. It is marked up to 1200 yards. This one shoots a mite further.
  • Whitey in a bucket.
  • Whitey…keep on riding.
  • Dirt blow and a weather vane! Why it’s almost cheatin!
  • Everybody is dirty…soooo dirty
  • Trespassing. Get shot. Steal the cattle. Get shot. be a woman. Get shot
  • A ranch full of lookie-loos
  • Hired to shoot dingos
  • really hired him to kill the natives.
  • nobody knocks me out of my own house.
  • “You forgot the gold.”
  • Leave some water and you can have the gold or the knife to the belly.
  • Don’t flee in a straight line from a sharp shooter. I’m a shart shooter.
  • “I wish people would quit hitting me in the head.”
  • Sleep during the day. Walk in the night.
  • I can’t tell you the number of times I have almost died in the outback, only to be nursed back to health by the local natives. Didgeridoo!
  • “You mean Kangaroo Shit?”
  • Eat the grubs! Cheetos!
  • They they teaching and learning.
  • Comanches were just Drunk Indians. But she smothered Roy Jr. Too late.
  • “you mean if you practiced a lot. No.”
  • Brutal. Pushing people off the cliffs.
  • Marston’s Men are everywhere.
  • Oh great…the Dingos are going to eat her baby!
  • Dingoes love babies….nom nom nom.
  • Uh oh…she has a history of hushing babies to death. Better let the Dingo have him.
  • Dingoes gotta eat.
  • You forgot about the window in the roof! The hole in the rooof
  • Oh man…when all else fails…drop some shit on the guys head like home alone.
  • Like shooting Quigley’s in a turned upside down boat.
  • I give up! Hey Quigley
  • Who shot Klaus’ Mom! Those son of britches!
  • Everywhere Quigley goes…misery follows.
  • Ride with me to the Gap
  • He got her the dress!
  • She had to give up the baby! But Roy and her and the baby!
  • Crazy Crazy Run Quigley.
  • 200 Pounds in Gold. Reward. For killing Quigley
  • He turned Scottie into a note!
  • Nobody sleeps! He is the Quigley in the night.
  • I think Tom Selleck is doing his own stunt horse riding.
  • This rock is covering me just fine.
  • Brophy! Run! Too late. Brophy got wood.
  • How many lives does he have in that mustache?
  • Marston likes to make a show of things.
  • Are you stupid? Don’t give Popeye the spinach…don’t give hulk the gamma…don’t
  • Some men are born in the wrong century. I was born on the wrong continent.
  • This ain’t Dodge City…and you ain’t Bill Hickock.
  • You know he ain’t dead…he gonna shoot you in the back dummy.
  • By god. I am going to get naked right here….
  • Time to fight the British again?
  • That is a bit of a dust up.
  • I told my friends what you did. We came as Quigley as we could.
  • Aboriginal Jeeves manservant  left as Quigley as he came.
  • What’s in a name. Roy Cobb or Matthew Quigley
  • Before you make love to me. You have to say two words. Matthew Quigley.
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