Police Story (1985)- Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

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Oh hi,

This week on Filmsack we bring in a YouTube stunt dub after we discover that HBO MAX Max expects us to read sub our way through this 1985 Action Comedy imported from Hong Kong about a Supercop who is willing to sacrifice his body to tell a POLICE STORY even if it means acting, directing, singing the theme song, eating cake with his face… three times?, scaring ladies out of their umbrellas for thrilling bus rides, destroying a shopping mall and I can only assume… murdering about 30 local citizens by driving downhill through their shanty town built out of wood scraps and dynamite… boy that escalated quickly… I think I got the pee pee pants

Anywho, welcome to the one man Chan show… in this segment we will be using curly corded phones and physical comedy to address domestic abuse, rape, free access to planned parenthood programs and hot plate safety in the office place. So grab a bowl of floor noodles and a couple of number 2 pencils… this will be on the test….

Randy, I think I swallowed an eraser. “Cough”

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BRIEF

“Police Story” (1985) follows the story of Chan Ka-Kui (Jackie Chan), a dedicated Hong Kong police officer who is assigned to protect a key witness in a drug lord’s trial. When the witness is targeted by the criminal organization, Ka-Kui must use all his skills, wit, and physical prowess to bring the criminals to justice while protecting the innocent. Directed by Jackie Chan himself, this film is known for its innovative action sequences, breathtaking stunts, and the perfect blend of comedy and intense action.

HBO Max Max: https://play.max.com/video/watch/57db0d50-92d4-4009-ba20-497e41bdf0a6

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Social Media Post

Police Story (1985) – A pee in your pants good time due to our planning and dub work.  #TheChanMan #stunts

SHOW NOTES

• This a story about the police.
• This is more Chinese than Chinese Chicken.
• Raymond Chow… thank you 
• Directed by Jackie Chan!! But he is starring in it
• Freeze Frame! This is the man! … he is up to no good… this is his wing man… The cho is the guy.. Pass the phone… pass the mic… 
• These is his hired men.
• The codename is operation Wild Boar… yes sir… we were slouching…lights on!
• Get your orders… then shred them… each man is responsible for his own mission.
• This operation requires a lot of coordination.
• They are doing the shady business… MONEY!
• Would you like the tea… 2 teas please.
• Excuse me please… ham sandwich. … in the dub and not sub… Chan also asks for 2 teas
• Nice of them to use English in their signs and use American Cash for us ‘Mericans.
• Mmmm… these drugs smell good.
• What… The Police!!
•  Spit on me? That’s a slapping… and here is some spit.. just kidding.
• POS everywhere.
• Shooting everything but each other.
• That is a lot of shooters.
• Almost shot myself in the mirror.
• Tom is Shakey! Tom! Cover me…
• Do I have to do everything… hey Tom. Cool it!
• Wow.. Let’s talk about fire power…
• Let’s protect the locals.
• haha… Tom pissed himself… he is leaking everywhere…
• Oh shit… save the villagers… nope.. fuck the villagers and all of their village… 
• Was that village a front of dynamite manufacturing?
• I was saving your ass!
• Give me your umbrella lady…… I got to hook myself a ride on the lemon bus.
• Crystal Spring.
• Stay Back. I’m a cop.
• Hey Boss…
• Knife to the neck bus ride.
• you get a warning shot…
• You want to make some money… just take a look here… smart move…
• We did a good job and I am satisfied.
• You telling me! 
• Drop all the charges on the secretary.
• Due to our planning and Teamwork.
• I’m just being friendly.
• A photo op… 
• Fixed up with a pair of concrete sandals
• If you want to live to be a hundred…. don’t join the police.
• I got the man for the job.
• Testify against your boss…
• Happy Chan Clap… yay… 
• Bonus pay! Watch the expenses.
• We just going to all look away…. just a little behind closed doors meeting to make everyone suspect.
• We need a confession on tape.
• Stop interfering with the witness.
• Hey… I didn’t say you could talk to the witness… Hello… Goodbye.
• uncooperative witness…
• You know what happened to the last 4 witnesses… nothing.
• Selena Fong is a Crown Witness…
• Get in touch with Danny… he will know what to do.
• The line is tapped… thanks man. Alright… I will see you later then.
• Dig that toilet..
• Rawr!… I’m a weirdo!
• Hide my face with a knife… if he is going to kill her what is the point in hiding his face.
• Feather Eating masked bad guy. This guy really takes too much pleasure in his killing.
• oooh… I get it… he is on the cops side.
• Not yet… he is fighting back… Come on Kenny… Wake up…. poor Kenny.
• Considering what I am getting paid.
• It is too late for that… I have resigned and I am going home.
• You mean… you will do as I say.
• Dressed like that.
•  Love the fun music… this movie does not take itself very serious… thank goodness.
• Mister… you hit my baby!
• Batter up…Always great Jackie Chan stunts… fast and fun.. full of energy.
• Gun to crotch… easy guys… lady with a gun… run!!
• This time it was really real.
• Today is my birthday… oh yeah May… this is Selena…
• I don’t get it….I didn’t get any cake… She can take a run and jump.
• Forget about explaining… I want an apology.
• Chan Butt crack!!
• Oh man… he can’t stop putting his foot in his mouth.
• If I was always being nice… I would have a lot of girls…
• haha… Dubbed up Gay jokes…. it is in the sub too.
• More cake in the face…. Oh crap… he jerked May right off that bike..
• I HATE YOU as you ride off on your scooter is the best.
• uh oh… she is onto you.
• Oh.. I’ve been pricked!… now you have made me wet all…  oh wow… they are doing all the kind of sexual innuendos. 
• She is going to get revenge by teasing him…  
• I don’t understand women..
• I am afraid Jackie is not here… can I take a message.
• Powdered Wig Court in China?
• I will let you off this time. Nice parking.
• This music is actually pretty great.
• Raised hand wave.
• The prosecutor’s whole case is the police are blind.
• Have you ever heard of a bus arriving on time.
• This whole court case is a math word problem.
• All of the body.
• haha… they are going to jam out to this testimony… MARANTZ!
• She is talking about my small cactus!
• The judge finds this hilarious… order… I need order…
• Uh oh Thailand wants cash in advance.
• Salina played him like a Small Cactus.
• Selena is on ice… send her away…… What if we used the cop.
• You control the local beauty contest.
• Ming is on the payroll… a retirement bonus.
• You want fame… well you are going to get it.
• A pile of cow poop…  time to dance… pop… lock..
• I got to take a crap… you keep making your hot-plate floor noodles.
• You got 3 days sharky… make that 4.
• The one man phone show that is Jackie Chan.
• Sparkle shirt!!
• My husband is beating me… Who was it that got raped? A pill you can take afterwards?… it’s the Vicker. The morning after pills… they are free… her mother is at least 60… how can she be pregnant.
• Do not eat those noodles with the eraser end of pencils… gross chopsticks.
• How many phones do they have in that place? Phone company testing… thank you.
• Hey Sharkie! Hey I wouldn’t make it up.
• I am tired of holding your car back with the back emergency brake.
• I don’t know what instrument they are using… but they used it in Ghostbuster… not this much…but they used it.
• haha… that rag doll they threw at him when they attacked Chan in the lake house.
• Today is full of surprises… that wasn’t the plan.
• But who is the rogue cop… oh.. it’s me.
• Jackie Chan Nike’d her into the pool… Just do it.
• He is disappeared… 
• I can’t afford more cock-ups George!
• Good thing May and her mom is there for you Jackie.
• How do you park a bike? Not like this…
• It wasn’t me! I woke up in a field.
• Were you in a nightclub getting drunk with girls.
• Call Murder Squad… charge him…. with… MURDER!
• Well if you are going to charge me… so I guess I will do the Murder.
• Damn Desk guy… you just care about your promotion… 3 page report
• I wouldn’t have shot you…sure thing… good luck… Thanks a lot sir.
• Don’t know where Seline is…
• You been fork’lifted!
• Hungry for fried Street meat? No… mind if I eat it… thanks.
• Wing on.. that is their front for their drugging.
• Uh… You got your overall on backwards Selina…
• Wow… that is what I call balls… Wing and Lee… Wing Lee.
• the red flashy light!! somebody is accessing the computer data…
• You done f’ed with the wrong Selina.
• Can we go home… I ain’t keeping you here… daaaamn.. cold.
• Remember Malls… 
• Performing Stunts in a crowded mall.
• Is that a Popeye chicken?
• Mall Security is taking a beating…
• I like how they never explain his mad skills… just an ordinary bad ass cop…
• Create as much property damage as possible.
• So many great stunts….. lots of glass in that mall.
• that is one big ass bat.
• She appears to be doing her own stunts as well.
• Try to run me over with a motorcycle… how does it feel!!
• Hey May… risk your life!
• Oh shit… they tossed May…  haha… kicked her in the ass.
• A stunt so good… we showed it 3 times.
• May is injured…
• Damn Lawyers..
• The time for law is done… now it is time for Justice…
• I’ll need a hand with the report…what report.
• Stunts!
• Did Jackie Chan sing this final song?
• 15 cameras 400 feet of film.

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