INTRO
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Oh hi,
This week on FilmSack we poison blow dart this LEGEND from the shadows of the fairy forest like a bunch of jealous ug’os and chop off its sparkly horny horn to bring about the end of sunshine and innocence in this 1985 cult classic starring everybody’s favorite jumping Jack Tom… he’s like part Peter Pan, part Kermit the frog and all young man covered in glitter dust after returning home from his first visit to a strip club. Now poking you with its evil pointy appendage and berating you on Amazon Prime in all of its US Tangerine Dream Theatrical Glory. However, some of us may have chosen a different path. Right Satan?
Anywho, like the many cautionary tales told to our children in the form of fairy tales throughout the ages and across cultures to prepare them for the dangers of this world, this movie seems to be attempting to warn its audience about something… I think I have narrowed it down to… Satan lives in a Tree like a Keebler Elf… or don’t touch a unicorn unless you want to lose your virginity.
Randy, forgive me. I meant no wrong. Also, that kid sounds like an old lady smoker.
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BRIEF
A mischievous princess disturbs the balance of the world by touching a forbidden unicorn, unleashing eternal winter and attracting the attention of Darkness — a towering demon who wants to snuff out the sun for good. Forest boy Jack teams up with elves, fairies, and a questionable pair of pants to save the unicorns, rescue the princess, and defeat the most charismatic villain the 80s ever produced.
1985 | PG | Fantasy/Adventure | Director: Ridley Scott | 94 Minutes
LINKS
IMDB: Legend (1985)
Wikipedia: Legend Wiki
Rotten Tomatoes: RT Page
TVTropes: TV Tropes
WHERE TO WATCH
Streaming: [Check availability on JustWatch]
TRAILER/CLIPS
Social Media Post
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Legend (1985) – Like a dream, if that dream were tangerine and stuffed with horned Curry and sprinkled with fairy dust. #mmmCurry
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SHOW NOTES
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- This has the audio vibe of a mystical martial arts movie. If you are watching the Amazon version… screw that… get the Directors cut with Jerry Goldsmith.
- nom nom nom… Tom’s Hairy Leg..
- Going to cook Blunder in a pie. Blunder Pie.
- Dwarf Metal Plate Frisby is my favorite… that looks like fun.
- Brown Tom and Squat Tom… Did they really call the character Brown Tom to not confuse Tom Cruise?
- Tom Cruise is Bouncy.
- This Keeble Elf Tree of Horror is steamy.
- Randy, I hear a throat begging to be cut!
- Did you hear that fellas… she wants to kill the unicorn… muhahaha
- Big D Backhand
- Tom Cruise did a lot of squats for this movie…
- Protect me father!!
- He got sucked into the space…. like an Alien.
- A little superglue and that unicorn is as good as new…
- Brown Tom!! Does that indicate there are other colored Toms?
- Riddle me this Mr. Scott.
- Red Font for opening credits… interesting.
- ohhh.. music by Tangerine Dream… that explains a lot.
- This ugly guy has a deviated septum.
- Mother Night… fold your dark arms about me.
- Good to see Blix has some manners…. sure to knock.
- Blacker than the foulest witch.
- Let’s start this movie Ugly…
- “I get the point sir..” duh huh huh
- Innocence is the best bait… duh.
- She is so tiny!! Wait… they are all tiny…
- Too much rhyming for my taste.
- Before time? This is obviously after we had time… cause we have a clock. and it is frozen? frosty?
- You are a rich lady Lily… now stop visiting ya rich so and so.
- Jack be nimble, jack be quick.. jack jump out of the tree and made me curse damnit Jack!
- We should watch the rich fairy make out with the poor wood fairy? Is Jack a bird elf?
- I have shown you all the animals… cept these! Check it out! Ugly one horned mules!
- Check it… they are the one thing standing between the world and evil… LET’S GET A CLOSE LOOK!!
- Wait… is this a fairy tell about innocence touching the horn and ruining innocence? Jack?
- So is the trick that… Hell has frozen over?
- Here Goblin Paradise… Goblins like ice?
- Show us Blix…
- Luck Day…
- You don’t know the Gump? The little kid with the smoking lady voice.
- A mortal laid hands on a unicorn?
- The Gump is a lump…
- Brown Tom… stop blowing bubbles out your ass.
- This could have been The Lord of the Rings.
- Jack and Lily…
- Ohh… in the name of True Love then…
- Soft Lighting a white horse is not as mystical as you think.. it is just terrifying.
- Randy, forgive me. I meant no wrong.
- Follow the bouncing ball Jack!
- oooh… time to stop being a lover… time to be a fighter.
- Oona… Oona is a shape shifting Sprite?
- This movie spent a lot of its budget on fairy dust and snow machines.
- Pox the pig? Blix… Big D!!
- oh no… Blunder is gone.
- The unicorns are dead..
- She’s just a female… only the power of creation….
- What the hell… they killed Brown Tom? Gump… Screwball….
- Goblins Shot me through the Brain Pan.
- Fowl tasting Fairy… Meg wants a juicy boy . Meg Mucklebone.
- You don’t mean to eat me…. Oh indeed I do.
- Meg met an untimely end.
- Know what Tom Cruise has not done yet… his really fast run.
- Is that Deep Roy?
- Randy, I will do what you ask… if you kiss me Jack…err… Randy. You call that a kiss?
- He’s gonna kiss Lily Oona… Just more fairy Glamour! Fine… just die then.
- The fairy heart beats fierce and free.
- This is more Time Bandits than Labyrinth.
- The Little D wants a virgin and he is talking to Big D and Big D says… go for it.
- This movie plays like a nightmare dream.
- This place is full of Jump Scares.
- Dance with yourself… until you become the dark one.
- His hooves have nuts!… so does his chin…
- Does the gown not please.
- The evil seed germinates in you… she is pregnant with her sin? Told you.
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