INTRO
oh hi,
and oh yeah it’s true…the great splicer spliced me with bad movies so I could find joy in even the crappiest of films..films where people with more sense might just toss their popcorn and leave. I know, I know time is the most precious commodity in the universe but here I am every week sucking on rotten tomatoes for hours at a time and proclaiming them to be the best the universe has to offer. Maybe it’s in my genes.
Take this week’s movie for instance…it has a flying jet-booted test-tube dog-man from space skyjacking spindly occasionally-visible always-naked roswell grays from the skies over Chicago for close to 10 minutes straight…well you may think…nah…I’d rather be cleaning the toilet…well I thought…woah! who’s got time to clean the toilet…pass me the popcorn…but hey wash your hands first ya
Also, who in their right mind would ever splice an elephant to make a starship pilot…he would be trumpeting all over the place…I don’t need that kind of drama on my bridge or in the non-existent starship toilet room… Phhhhttlll … Congratulations and my deepest condolences on your bowel movement Mr. Elephant Man.
LINKS
Jupiter Ascending (2015) – Please make Sean Bean a Bee so he can fly far far away from this movie. Sean Bee! Dangit Scott…You know what…I am just going to give it to Gleb’s crew.
SHOW NOTES
- Is this that alien movie
- Part Nudity…oh no..Magic Mikes
- Technically Speaking…I’m an alien
- That is a lot of baby belly…Vasoline!
- Over my dead body…name her Jupiter…she dead
- Jupiter is THE planet
- That was a pretty fast home invasion
- Born in the House of Leo
- gross she pushed me out too…on a container…in the ocean.
- Born in the house of Leo
- Stalin’s Frozen Balls!
- The problem with Astrology…total bullshit
- She cleaning for a living. and it’s always toilets.
- Have you ever seen a harvest? Quite humane..
- Planetary Marbles…earth worth the most..trade ya
- U-Pah-Tur
- Uh oh..she hates her life…that means the Planet gods are going to come and make it better by Harvesting her.
- Lyncancant…Skyjacker…the boots.
- Bounty Hunters…with cloaking tech
- Let me sniff this legal paper…yep…I can see the past.
- Jet boots….time to fire ’em up.
- Hover board boots…speeder bikes…all the cool future tech
- “Do you trust me?” no
- Jupiter’s Storm is a city.
- Valem likes to fly naked.
- It’s the rat people.
- We have a name…the universe works just like investigation on earth
- Them some scary aliens
- I will give it to Gleb’s crew
- Harvesting Eggs..People on planets…queen eating eggs
- She is pretending to be someone else
- Spider monkey Aliens
- Only good news in here where I float around with the laughing ladies
- Wolf and Human made
- Keepers are scary
- Terrsies
- Flying jet booted test tube wolf man from space skyjacking naked spider monkey gray aliens
- His name is Caine Wise…like Canine…uh hu hu hu
- That is the biggest pad I have ever seen
- She is someone special..Jupiter
- Sean …he is already dead
- Is he spliced with bees
- I need some heal spray
- ha…Bees can detect royalty
- Trying to get Sean Bean his Wings
- She is a recurrence
- Vladie – Cousin bought a ton of electronics with his egg money
- He was born a runt and he has no pack…he is a lone wolf
- The splicer (creator) loved bees…that is why he is part bee
- Ouch Concussion gun
- Mr. Knight…the rat splice
- Abraxis is people
- Entering into the Genetic Age
- are you a vampire race?
- 14 thousand years old.
- Just a roller bladding shirtless spaceman.
- Time is the most precious community in the universe
- “In case I am reincarnated…I leave all my shit to me.”
- All you have to do is close your eyes to all the horror and you can have everything royal girl.
- Please call me Jupe…oh hi Stinger…what the hell am I talking about!
- Portaling can be rough on the royal bowels
- Headed to the hall of titles
- genomegineering
- Maybe it’s my genes.
- They already said Mom had terrible luck in love…still in the recurrence
- Clownfish ship
- Intergalactic Advocate Bob here to assist you to the ascension process.
- This is Revenue Request…not Revenue Review
- A hodgepodge of all the SciFi you can imagine
- Congratulations and my deepest condolences
- Nectar…they are like bees…space bees pollinating the galaxy and then harvesting
- 100 human beings per container
- OMG…that is a vile of 100 people you dropped!
- What! Will you marry me! But you are my child!
- Weird ass short armed T-Rex Soldiers with their weird arms.
- You better chase down those compressed space suits
- You don’t treat your cousin like chicken.
- A fairy tale in space!
- The classic…does anyone have anything to say before we wed these chumps.
- Jupiter Jones keeps making poor choices
- Having an elephant splice as a pilot is probably a bad idea if flying requires great effort…BLAAT
- Human Society is a pyramid scheme
- This guy is the Crispin Glover of space
- 2 royals falling…falling…royals don’t plummet to their death
- You told me you hated your life. I am not your mother!!
- U-Pit-Tur…get up and make the coffee
- Half Wolf-Half Man-Half Winged Beast
