Jingle All The Way (1996) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

and oh boy. I just got back from shopping for “2021’s hottest late stage capitalism’s doll”…um…action figure, that my kid requested for Christmas… and I have to say… it is crazy out there. I even missed my offspring’s Christmas Karate ceremony where he hiya’s his belt out of a box. Tae Kwon Ho Ho Ho.

Sad news everyone! I was unable to secure the one thing that would bring my super hero obsessed offspring joy this holiday season…and which would incidentally have pleased my wife. Randy! my wife’s cookies are delicious. Don’t eat my cookies Randy.

Anywho, Don’t worry. I’m just going to cosplay my way out of this like I do every problem I am presented with. Good thing I have the body of a greek god. So on the way home I ran down to my local Santa Syndicate crime warehouse and bought a “2021’s hottest late stage capitalism’s costume”…err…uniform from some easily offended Santas and Elves. Well, the quality of the products were questionable and when I protested I had to fight Big Show Santa! ho ho ho, no.

But worry not. I hired Booger from Revenge of the Nerds to dress up in a pink Saber Tooth Tiger Furry Costume….err…kink to be my side kick that everybody love to hate and now we are headed to the parade in the honor of “2021’s hottest late stage capitalism’s doll…ACTION FIGURE” to surprise my needy little shit.

oh…and Randy….don’t forget…you are my wife’s number one customer. Put that cookie down!

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116705/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jingle_All_the_Way

TWITTER

Jingle All The Way (1996) – What do I need a booster doll for? I got a booger at home. #JingleBellsBatmanSmells fight me Santa. No not you Big Show Santa.

SHOW NOTES

• Sinbad Santa!
• Look it is Turbo Man and Booster! and Bull from Night Court… Kill them both!
• Turbo man has a turbo…man.
• Turbo Discs?
• Go Go Demon Team!! I’m coming Billy! Tata Turbo Man…nooo… Dr. Brains! Nooo.
• It’s turbo time!! Gotcha! Will this movie…end like it began?
• it was the president’s kid.
• Ha… You can always count on me.
• Dad…He always misses everything…except that bomb ass office party.
• Here…read my manilla folders.
• Martin Mull….when is he in this…beside the very start.
• King Size… He is a Mattress salesman…wholesale Mattress salesman?
• and don’t forget…you’re my number one customer
• He signed a document to meet to testify…and adjust his schedule…hunting that day.
• Christmas Karate! Tae Kwon Ho
• Ted…is doing a lot of porch work.
• Hey … why doesn’t anybody drive on this extra lane…oooooh.
• wait…is my belt in this box….hiyaaaa!
• I’m going to make it… He isn’t going to make it…. I didn’t make it.
• “What is ted doing on your roof…” ta da!
• This kid has an unhealthy amount of love of superheroes.
• He mirrored the Captain America move…he is a hero!
• Purple is important to me dad. You missed blue…
• I want the Turbo Man action figure with the arms and legs that move…and the boomerang shooter and the rock-and-roar jet pack…and the realistic voice activator that says five different phrases…including “It’s turbo time!” Accessories sold separately. Batteries not included.
• Johnny’s going to get one!
• Talking about that Turbo Guy!! I told you 2 weeks ago.
• What kind of Mattress does a Wholesale Mattress guy sleep on?
• The holiday Wintertainment Parade.
• Reindeer are usually very gentle creature…no!
• He already has a Turbo Man.
• Could you send me a bike and a slinky…no!
• Post Office man and conspiracy theories. Little cheap plastic. Meltdown in the line
• Sold out! Booster…who wants booster!
• These guys are looking for a turbo man. cackling…
• Booster is a saber tooth tiger.
• Turbo Man Lay A Way
• Scarcity has never been as topical
• No. I’m turbo man.
• Mom calls it a doll.
• Ted’s got everything under control.
• Your wife’s cookies are delicious. Don’t eat my cookies. Put that cookie down!
• Still on the hunt
• This motorcycle cop.
• Will Randy tell us about the famous malls? hehe
• Turbo Man Lottery! Plenty of Booster.
• List price has doubled.
• ball frenzy!
• He got 2!! Get the Mailman! Rodney King…
• They used super bouncy balls as the lottery balls…bad choice…
• End Stage Capitalism
• Meanwhile in the Ball Pit.
• Tony….show ‘im
• Dirty Santa Belushi and Danny The Elf Woodburn.
• Password. Jingle Bells. Batman Smells.
• The Santa Syndicate…they call me the backdoor Santa.
• 300…. dollars…no chocolate kisses.
• You better keep the multi-lingual version…you don’t know how desperate you will be.
• I’m not about to hit a Santa Clause.
• Ninja Santa…nope
• C’mon… fight me Santa. Not you Big Show Santa.
• The low point…all hope is lost. Midway point.
• They named the reindeer Ted.
• Ted is Divorced Dad
• haha… she is next door petting Ted. What!?
• ‘Always keeps your promises, if you want to keep your friends.’ – Turbo Man
• I love movies with layered comedy. Passive jokes…just passing by.
• Johnny 7 O.M.A. (One Man Army)
• Visions of the future possible…drunk Johnny
• The world keeps pushing Turbo Man contests on these guys.
• Ha! Arnold knew nothing about Johnny 7…but the radio guy said it was the hottest toy since that toy.
• Name the Reindeer while running to the radio station
• You got a bomb? the Bomb in a box hoax
• How many years on the bomb squad?
• That son of a ! He is putting my star up.
• Nestled Safely Under Our Tree.
• 3/4 in… time to get desperate
• How can he hope to get away with taking the Turbo Man doll. When it goes missing…you know they know. Stealing from a kid. I can’t do this! Great now he is going to have to find 2 turbo men dolls.
• Lock the reindeer in the study. Burn your neighbors house down! Escalation.
• Burning head Balthazar and carolers
• You can’t bench press your way out of this one. No, but I can punch a reindeer.
• Cat in the Hat… high 5 Jamie!
• Have some non-alcoholic egg-nog.
• Don’t worry…Ted’s here.
• He keeps getting glimpses of ted.
• Motorcycle cop has bomb hands and now coffee hands.
• Phil Hartman would be dead in Me Too times.
• You are Santa in the Parade trope…are you Santa?
• Filling in for Pete! Pete showed some brain activity this morning.
• Booster is Booger. Booger is Booster
• Convenient! You are Turbo Man.
• Wave you idiot.
• Special Edition Turbo Man Doll! Yes! Yes!
• This movie doesn’t know how Parade’s work. He passed by Jamie like an hour ago.
• He knows my name
• Dementor! nooo
• Insane…you would stop a parade to give a kid a Turbo Man…but love it.
• Pink Sabertooth.
• That’s right Turtle Man
• Booster uppercut… pile on! He wears a bikini
• Turbo Discs….ahhh
• Those props are too real… and scary.
• Sinbad to the sack.
• He took it out on the box and the popcorn.
• They certainly got use out of the little people in this movie. I don’t know how I feel about that.
• Fly turbo man…use your jetpack..
• This is like the first iron man. Fly!
• End this holiday movie with a little holiday magic.
• Good thing he is indestructable
• Turbo rang…ahhh
• You can always count on me.
• Will he keep the magic by not telling him he is turbo man…or will he reveal it.
• The bike…and the coffee…and the bus…and the bomb. How did he know about the bus?
• ‘What do I need a doll for…I got the real Turbo Man at home…’ That’s my dad!
• Post credit’s scene! What did you get me?