Diamonds Are Forever (1971) – Filmsack Show Notes

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Oh hi,

This week on FilmSack, we learn that just like Sean Connery portraying James Bond… or friendships between hand holding henchmen… DIAMONDS ARE… FOREVER… in this 1971 return to form Action Spy Adventure that doubles down on the Blofelds and white Persian pussies. Eck… I’ll never be comfortable saying that in public… barkeep… give me a Martini.. Shaken… not stirred.. just like my libido while watching this… like… what is it.. like number… 6 … 7 in the series… shit…

Anywho, welcome to Slumber Inc Crematorium outside of Vegas where somehow our services are not the most ridiculous thing in Nevada or this movie… If you arrived via our uncomfortably close front seat mob family car then your fake loved one is probably already being baked in the oven and your diamonds should be cooked out of their colons momentarily… mmm… smelly.. However, if you drove your stolen moon buggy in then we are going to need you to crawl into this casket ride… please keep your arms, legs and creepy innuendos inside at all times. Also, enjoy these MacGuffins as we push all the buttons. beep boop – flame on.

Randy, weren’t you a blonde when I came in. aww what a pity…. and they were nice cheeks too

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BRIEF

James Bond investigates a diamond smuggling operation that leads him straight into a plot involving lookalike villains, moon base shenanigans, and a Vegas-sized heap of camp. With Blofeld cloning himself, plenty of 70s flair, and a moon buggy chase no one asked for — this is Connery’s wild (and sparkly) swan song before passing the tux to Roger Moore.

1971 | Rated PG | Action/Spy/Adventure | 2h

LINKS

IMDB: Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

Wikipedia: Diamonds Are Forever Wiki

Rotten Tomatoes: RT Page

TVTropes: TV Tropes

WHERE TO WATCH

Streaming: [Check availability on JustWatch]

TRAILER/CLIPS

Social Media Post

[ppp_patron_only level=”1″ silent=”no”]You are seeing this hidden section because you are a Patreon Supporter. Thank you!

Diamonds Are Forever (1971) – Like Blofeld in Drag… It’s Vegas baby… roll with it. #ShakenNotRetired

[/ppp_patron_only]

SHOW NOTES

Right into the intro…this is how I remember James bond.
That is a quiet scene of until the action and ADR.
Never say “Hit me” at a card table with James Bond.
Globe trotting to find Blofeld. Cairo. Marie.
Is that shaving cream next to Marie?
Why does it sounds like he is saying his name is Vlond… James Vlond.
Strangled with your own bikini top
A Plastic Transformation. … everybody knows the nose is the hardest part.
I’m ready for the change… tonight…
Sludge gun… Looks like horse poop.
That ain’t no Blofeld… it is Unibrow guy!
Our corporate logo? A lighting bolt.
Careful now… I keep a hand trap in my jacket pocket.
Blofeld is Clam Chowder… welcome to hell Blofeld.
Poor Mr. Blofeld Kitty.
That is only wearing a diamond bikini bottom.
Is this the most outrageous Bond so far?
This song wants to molest diamonds. – Shirley Bassey is killing it.
Come Bond… look at my Diamond Collection I keep near the window.
Ripped from the headlines… Jewelry heist?
Pity about your liver sir.
80% diamonds come from Africa.. Blood Diamonds!
Loyalty and devotion of it’s workers…
This diamond outfit has a great dental plan.
mmm… late afternoon Scorpion collecting.
Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd..
The old scorpion in the shirt trick… Bitten by the bug.
These guys are the worst… and holding hands best friends.
These durn Diamond Stockpilers.
Misses Whistler is a bad girl.
I’ve always fancied a trip to South Africa… YOU’RE GOING TO HOLLAND… bummer
Peter Franks… Why not Dick Johnson..
A Diamond in a right… would you settle for a Tulip?
This way to “How would you like to travel? Boat? Plane? Train? HOVERCRAFT!… ok ok.. tour boat”
The Skinny Bridge… 2 sisters ran out of money… that is why it is called the skinny bridge.
Won’t someone think of the children! Mr. Kidd… that makes me … uncomfortable.
haha… he says Franks. Peter Franks like he does bond.
Tiffany Case…
Randy, weren’t you a blonde when I came in.
Let me check your fingerprints.
Who me? Just a guy hugging himself in the alley… who is your floor?
Tiny elevator fight!! Go!
Ghosting Q on the phone.
My God… you just killed James Bond.
A little old lady drop off my priceless Chandelier
Mr. Wint likes his cologne and Mr. Kidd…
Felix Leiter!! Alimentary … it is in his colon.
It’s a lot smoother ride in the front Mr. Franks.
Slumber Inc… that is the name of their funeral home… Mr Slumber.
Ok. That is the deal with the mortuary slash crematorium… is that even a real thing.
I am so happy you chose our half-couch, hinged-panel, slumber-on casket.
2 minutes later… here is your urn full of diamonds.
I love my dead brother fill of diamonds.
Get paid… get laid… out by an urn to the back of the head.
I was wondering if we would get a chance to see that crematorium in action.
How will bond get out of this one.
Those diamonds are fake.
Las Vegas is full of mobsters… see.
Heartwarming Mr. Glint… Glowing Mr. Kidd.
Ya dirty rat.
I call these girls my acorns.
The insult comic.
We didn’t get the diamonds… so we need Shady Tree alive… he was almost dead anyway. That’s real annoying.
The Whyte House… with a Y.
Hi. I’m Plenty… Plenty O’Toole.
Vegas… get yourself a Lucky Lady. Who throws or blows your dice.
She gets a 5000 dollar tip for throwing dice…. and she puts out Plenty O’Toole
Is there some kind of pervert convention in town.
Ashtray on a hairy chest… bad idea.
This movie should be called… Leverage … Trust no one.
Randy, when is the last time you visited the circus… IN VEGAS! gambling…
Why don’t you play the water balloons?
Here we have a big lady.
Get away balloon kid… ya bother me.
hey kid… blow up your pants.
The strangest girl to live! Stage full of horror.
Nooo… Every show ends the same at the Lady turns into a guy in a gorilla suit… kids screaming.
What is my wig doing in the pool?
These diamonds are cursed! They are killing everyone who gets involved.
Why not just have Mr. Kidd and Mr. Glint carry the diamonds.
Nice fastback.
Keep leaning on that tooter and you are going to get a shot in the mouth.
Randy, forget it curly… you had your chance and you blew it.
There are a lot of elevators in this movie… including ones for your car.
Back Seat Bond.
This place is full of radiation!
G-Section. Checking Radiation Fields.
Oh great…this is how conspiracy theories start…
I love how the astronauts just keep doing astronaut stuff at speed.
This moon buggie is much better at this terrain… looks stupid… but is effective.
3 wheeling!
Bond in a Moon Buggie.. with arms!
I love that those 3 wheelers are just… a tiny bit too small for these men.
If you see a man in a mini bus… just smile.
When you start stealing moon machines from Willard Whyte.
Is this the first proper car chase scene in a bond movie… one that is not mostly Bond in front of a green/blue screen?
Parking lot Keystone cops.
2 wheeling with bond… lean over finishing move.
Having the sexy on the fish bed.
This has got to be the best stunts they have done… maybe not as big… but more intense and nerve racking.
I am suspecting you are wearing a hog leg.
Blofeld… you son of a bitch… but I killed you.
2 cats! I never saw it coming.
Blofeld is always 1 step ahead.
Is this a trick elevator! Yes… yes it is.
They are “Bonding” that pipeline… one of us smells like a fart handkerchief…
I was just out walking my rat… and lost my way.
Blofeld… you got voices… Q got voices.
World’s Greatest Marches
I am Bambi… and I am Thumper… The 2 tough circus ladies.
He had it coming…. haha… he is just drowning those ladies.
FBI.. CIA… nope…
Burt Zaxby? Tell him he is fired.
Q is robbing Vega blind.
Blofeld in Drag… love it.
Shove your honor.
We can’t abort… we are turning all of these knobs and doo dads and nothing is happening.
Diamonds are for weapons and not selling.
So… the real White House is in Vegas… where the real power is?
I tried not to laugh at the guys who caught on fire outside the missiles.
Your friend with the cat.
I ain’t got no weapons in Baja.
So many impotent Beach Boys…
Blofeld just wants to get rid of nuclear weapons… come on man.
Right down to Dragon Lady here.
Butt Case Bikini Crack
Rude… gave Kansas some shit.
The whole system works on this cassette tape… oopsie..
Bond is a chaos maker.
Randy, Activate Defenses.
What a pity…. and they were nice cheeks too…
Prepare my sub… I’m out.
Shit.. they are going to show us the whole shot of the crane operation of Blofelds mini sub.
1 minute and counting guy.
haha… Case shot herself right off the platform with the recoil
So Bond saved the day? A messy solution. So Mr Kidd and Mr Glint.
This cake is ticking.
The aftershave gave him away.
haha… case said… eeee
Henchman Comedy.
Diamonds in the sky.
Sean Connery returns for one last payday… and probably a new house.
That theme song is pure Shirley Bassey slayage.
Bond kills Blofeld in the cold open… or does he?
Fake diamonds, fake moon landings, fake accents — real fun.
Tiffany Case: jewel smuggler, cat owner, and professional eye roller.
Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd — the most homicidal couple this side of Vegas.
Connery’s wig acting deserves its own credit.
Bond’s stealth outfit = tuxedo + smirk + plot armor.
That Vegas car chase was clearly sponsored by Ford.
The moon buggy chase. Yes, that actually happened.
“Welcome to hell, Blofeld.” — Classic Connery sass.
Why does everyone in this movie sound like they’re from New Jersey?
Lasers! Diamonds! Camp! Cats! Bond’s still got it… kinda.

INTRO

[ppp_patron_only level=”1″ silent=”no”]You are seeing this hidden section because you are a Patreon Supporter. Thank you!

Oh hi,

Randy, weren’t you a blonde when I came in. aww what a pity…. and they were nice cheeks too

[/ppp_patron_only]

BRIEF

1971 | Rated PG | Action/Spy/Adventure | 2h

LINKS

IMDB: Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

Wikipedia: Diamonds Are Forever Wiki

Rotten Tomatoes: RT Page

TVTropes: TV Tropes

WHERE TO WATCH

Streaming: [Check availability on JustWatch]

TRAILER/CLIPS

Social Media Post

[ppp_patron_only level=”1″ silent=”no”]You are seeing this hidden section because you are a Patreon Supporter. Thank you!

Diamonds Are Forever (1971) – Like Blofeld in Drag… It’s Vegas baby… roll with it. #ShakenNotRetired

[/ppp_patron_only]

SHOW NOTES

Right into the intro…this is how I remember James bond.
That is a quiet scene of until the action and ADR.
Never say “Hit me” at a card table with James Bond.
Globe trotting to find Blofeld. Cairo. Marie.
Is that shaving cream next to Marie?
Why does it sounds like he is saying his name is Vlond… James Vlond.
Strangled with your own bikini top
A Plastic Transformation. … everybody knows the nose is the hardest part.
I’m ready for the change… tonight…
Sludge gun… Looks like horse poop.
That ain’t no Blofeld… it is Unibrow guy!
Our corporate logo? A lighting bolt.
Careful now… I keep a hand trap in my jacket pocket.
Blofeld is Clam Chowder… welcome to hell Blofeld.
Poor Mr. Blofeld Kitty.
That is only wearing a diamond bikini bottom.
Is this the most outrageous Bond so far?
This song wants to molest diamonds. – Shirley Bassey is killing it.
Come Bond… look at my Diamond Collection I keep near the window.
Ripped from the headlines… Jewelry heist?
Pity about your liver sir.
80% diamonds come from Africa.. Blood Diamonds!
Loyalty and devotion of it’s workers…
This diamond outfit has a great dental plan.
mmm… late afternoon Scorpion collecting.
Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd..
The old scorpion in the shirt trick… Bitten by the bug.
These guys are the worst… and holding hands best friends.
These durn Diamond Stockpilers.
Misses Whistler is a bad girl.
I’ve always fancied a trip to South Africa… YOU’RE GOING TO HOLLAND… bummer
Peter Franks… Why not Dick Johnson..
A Diamond in a right… would you settle for a Tulip?
This way to “How would you like to travel? Boat? Plane? Train? HOVERCRAFT!… ok ok.. tour boat”
The Skinny Bridge… 2 sisters ran out of money… that is why it is called the skinny bridge.
Won’t someone think of the children! Mr. Kidd… that makes me … uncomfortable.
haha… he says Franks. Peter Franks like he does bond.
Tiffany Case…
Randy, weren’t you a blonde when I came in.
Let me check your fingerprints.
Who me? Just a guy hugging himself in the alley… who is your floor?
Tiny elevator fight!! Go!
Ghosting Q on the phone.
My God… you just killed James Bond.
A little old lady drop off my priceless Chandelier
Mr. Wint likes his cologne and Mr. Kidd…
Felix Leiter!! Alimentary … it is in his colon.
It’s a lot smoother ride in the front Mr. Franks.
Slumber Inc… that is the name of their funeral home… Mr Slumber.
Ok. That is the deal with the mortuary slash crematorium… is that even a real thing.
I am so happy you chose our half-couch, hinged-panel, slumber-on casket.
2 minutes later… here is your urn full of diamonds.
I love my dead brother fill of diamonds.
Get paid… get laid… out by an urn to the back of the head.
I was wondering if we would get a chance to see that crematorium in action.
How will bond get out of this one.
Those diamonds are fake.
Las Vegas is full of mobsters… see.
Heartwarming Mr. Glint… Glowing Mr. Kidd.
Ya dirty rat.
I call these girls my acorns.
The insult comic.
We didn’t get the diamonds… so we need Shady Tree alive… he was almost dead anyway. That’s real annoying.
The Whyte House… with a Y.
Hi. I’m Plenty… Plenty O’Toole.
Vegas… get yourself a Lucky Lady. Who throws or blows your dice.
She gets a 5000 dollar tip for throwing dice…. and she puts out Plenty O’Toole
Is there some kind of pervert convention in town.
Ashtray on a hairy chest… bad idea.
This movie should be called… Leverage … Trust no one.
Randy, when is the last time you visited the circus… IN VEGAS! gambling…
Why don’t you play the water balloons?
Here we have a big lady.
Get away balloon kid… ya bother me.
hey kid… blow up your pants.
The strangest girl to live! Stage full of horror.
Nooo… Every show ends the same at the Lady turns into a guy in a gorilla suit… kids screaming.
What is my wig doing in the pool?
These diamonds are cursed! They are killing everyone who gets involved.
Why not just have Mr. Kidd and Mr. Glint carry the diamonds.
Nice fastback.
Keep leaning on that tooter and you are going to get a shot in the mouth.
Randy, forget it curly… you had your chance and you blew it.
There are a lot of elevators in this movie… including ones for your car.
Back Seat Bond.
This place is full of radiation!
G-Section. Checking Radiation Fields.
Oh great…this is how conspiracy theories start…
I love how the astronauts just keep doing astronaut stuff at speed.
This moon buggie is much better at this terrain… looks stupid… but is effective.
3 wheeling!
Bond in a Moon Buggie.. with arms!
I love that those 3 wheelers are just… a tiny bit too small for these men.
If you see a man in a mini bus… just smile.
When you start stealing moon machines from Willard Whyte.
Is this the first proper car chase scene in a bond movie… one that is not mostly Bond in front of a green/blue screen?
Parking lot Keystone cops.
2 wheeling with bond… lean over finishing move.
Having the sexy on the fish bed.
This has got to be the best stunts they have done… maybe not as big… but more intense and nerve racking.
I am suspecting you are wearing a hog leg.
Blofeld… you son of a bitch… but I killed you.
2 cats! I never saw it coming.
Blofeld is always 1 step ahead.
Is this a trick elevator! Yes… yes it is.
They are “Bonding” that pipeline… one of us smells like a fart handkerchief…
I was just out walking my rat… and lost my way.
Blofeld… you got voices… Q got voices.
World’s Greatest Marches
I am Bambi… and I am Thumper… The 2 tough circus ladies.
He had it coming…. haha… he is just drowning those ladies.
FBI.. CIA… nope…
Burt Zaxby? Tell him he is fired.
Q is robbing Vega blind.
Blofeld in Drag… love it.
Shove your honor.
We can’t abort… we are turning all of these knobs and doo dads and nothing is happening.
Diamonds are for weapons and not selling.
So… the real White House is in Vegas… where the real power is?
I tried not to laugh at the guys who caught on fire outside the missiles.
Your friend with the cat.
I ain’t got no weapons in Baja.
So many impotent Beach Boys…
Blofeld just wants to get rid of nuclear weapons… come on man.
Right down to Dragon Lady here.
Butt Case Bikini Crack
Rude… gave Kansas some shit.
The whole system works on this cassette tape… oopsie..
Bond is a chaos maker.
Randy, Activate Defenses.
What a pity…. and they were nice cheeks too…
Prepare my sub… I’m out.
Shit.. they are going to show us the whole shot of the crane operation of Blofelds mini sub.
1 minute and counting guy.
haha… Case shot herself right off the platform with the recoil
So Bond saved the day? A messy solution. So Mr Kidd and Mr Glint.
This cake is ticking.
The aftershave gave him away.
haha… case said… eeee
Henchman Comedy.
Diamonds in the sky.
Sean Connery returns for one last payday… and probably a new house.
That theme song is pure Shirley Bassey slayage.
Bond kills Blofeld in the cold open… or does he?
Fake diamonds, fake moon landings, fake accents — real fun.
Tiffany Case: jewel smuggler, cat owner, and professional eye roller.
Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd — the most homicidal couple this side of Vegas.
Connery’s wig acting deserves its own credit.
Bond’s stealth outfit = tuxedo + smirk + plot armor.
That Vegas car chase was clearly sponsored by Ford.
The moon buggy chase. Yes, that actually happened.
“Welcome to hell, Blofeld.” — Classic Connery sass.
Why does everyone in this movie sound like they’re from New Jersey?
Lasers! Diamonds! Camp! Cats! Bond’s still got it… kinda.

BRIEF

LINKS

WHERE TO WATCH

TRAILER/CLIPS

Social Media Post

SHOW NOTES

INTRO

BRIEF

LINKS

WHERE TO WATCH

TRAILER/CLIPS

Social Media Post

SHOW NOTES

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