Crank (2006) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

[ppp_patron_only level=”1″ silent=”no”]You are seeing this hidden section because you are a Patreon Supporter. Thank you!

Oh hi,

This week on Filmsack, we yell at our Uber/Taxi driver HBO Max Max to CRANK it up before we die from a deadly dose of this Action/Thriller from 2006 starring our favorite Martial Arts Actor from merry old England named Jason Statham, now streaming directly into our adrenaline-induced heart-ons and driving us to seek revenge in between our Waffle Burns, Day Dates that end in public sex… witness me… and self-medicating… Red Bull gives you wiiings. Hmmm… Maybe not. I’m fine… I’m sure I’m fine. There is a sequel after all.

Anywho, if you ever find yourself working as a hitman for a racially segregated crime organization, it’s probably best not to trust the big city roof boss who keeps his girls in gerbil balls in the hot heat, because if he’ll do that to them, then he’ll probably have no problem disposing of you or using anyone in close proximity as a grenade absorber. Thanks boss!

Randy, I’m looking for something that starts with E… oh yeah… Eject…

[/ppp_patron_only]

BRIEF

Chev Chelios (Jason Statham), a hitman for a crime syndicate, wakes up to discover he’s been poisoned with a drug that will kill him if his heart rate drops. As he races through Los Angeles to find an antidote, he must keep his adrenaline pumping by any means necessary. With the help of his girlfriend Eve (Amy Smart) and his friend Doc Miles (Dwight Yoakam), Chev embarks on a relentless, action-packed journey to stay alive and seek revenge on those who poisoned him.

[ppp_patron_only level=”1″ silent=”no”]You are seeing this hidden section because you are a Patreon Supporter. Thank you!

Social Media Post

Crank (2006) – Crank it up and keep your heart-on moving! Unless you are trying to impress your new girlfriend… in which case just waffle your hand for 30 seconds. #WaffleBurns

SHOW NOTES

• I sure hope this movie lives up to its namesake… Speed… Crank… Jack
• LakeShore…
• Rock and roll and video game graphics… I am in.
• FPS… ahhh  yeah… the Fuck You Disc… 
• Scan Lines… on a flat screen TV… insane.
• You can’t breathe too good.. what is the matter with you.
• Holy shit…. who is filming this… 
• Hit Tech Sci Fi Chinese… it is done binded. You got an hour.
• Don Kim… You like that huh… home rum.
• Poor TV…don’t murder the messenger.
• Nokia says missed call.
• How long was he out? 
• Heart Cam!
• Call the red phone… Get a cell phone honey… please.
• Would you please let the doctor know I am a dead man. Thanks call service.
• Sloshy slow heart… drive fast speed turns me on.
• Where were you last night? Dancing it up… Know what I was doing… getting killed.
• I’m dead…and you are simple.
• It may actually be the last thing I do. Put the word out.
• Orlando’s Hood.
• Chevy… I believe you had a question. I am not affiliated… That is a lot of guns…
• In fact Ricky Verona … I would be beating the Gucci off his ass.
• Just give me some coke… I’m really dying here.
• This medicinal… This shit ain’t free… That is enough for a headsmack… literally.
• That is one smokey shitter… I think I know what I have to do to stay alive… get my ass kicked.
• That dying Nokia ring is interesting.
• Me and Carlito are tight.
• Blurred Vision…  Pain in your chest?
• You got to keep moving Chevy… what he driving… is it chevy?
• Beijing Cocktail… if you stop… you die.
• Couple of grams of coke. Crank the music…. crank it!
• Achy Breaky Heart… Cyrus is a virus.
• I don’t think you need all of the gas station jack… Red Bull it gives you jack.
• So far a lot of boobs and butts in this movie. 
• Oh hi. I’m in the pool with you.
• That shit they gave you… that is the Chinese shit… there is no antidote.
• I’m going to feed them to a cage of wolverines.
• Everybody know the love I have for you… ill advised.
• I like to know that my death is a benefit to you.
• I’m having a beautiful fucking day brother.
• You are not getting in my car wet.
• Did he just call him a terrorist.
• Epinephrine. man… just a small dose.
• Cell phones were a game changer for movies.
• I’m across the street getting a taco.
• Taco Truck!!
• Turn me loose! Excellent pick!
• Stub punch.
• want to hold hands… no thanks.
• Ricky…  You experiencing a little 20/20 hindsight.
• You like the necklaces. You shove it up your ass… no thanks.
• I am looking for something that starts with an E. Nasal Spray… it will get you tweaked.
• one snort and done… you can use more than one snort.
• Who is the guy in the hospital? Just a sign of his eventual death?
• Just a gun in my pit….in my hospital gown.
• I know one of your fuckers have epinephrin. Who is that nurse… that is what’s his face from Sunny?
• Asshole… Juice me… c’mon…
• uhh…that is way too much. A little dab will do ya. How much did he say to take?
• gahhhhhh…
• Punk is the perfect music for this movie.
• A 5th of a syringe… a steal hard on. You couldn’t piss to save your life.
• Haha…that police sketch… he is a professional killer… with a hard-on.
• I stole your honey like a i stole your bike.
• Like Statham ass in the wind… Puma phone.
• Some Eve at home shit.
• Listen I have been fatally poisoned and probably a maniac headed your way…but you got some sleep?
• Here is your brother’s hand… it is hilarious.
• Make me some waffles and shit.
• Found the rest of my outfit.. Puma… are you into it… it is gross.
• Listen I bought some flowers… and they got f’ed.
• I’ll change the clock on the microwave… if you get dressed and come with me right now.
• The waffle iron is on… if you want to make one.
• Waffle Hand! Do you want some pot or something. Yes! No!
• durn… that waffle thing… I got to turn it off.
• Just going to run down to the gate and kick some ass.
• Keeping his killer secret. Trying to go straight.
• Meanwhile, down in china town… everything has a heartbeat.
• Cause he is a video game programmer… just kidding I’m a killer… for the mafia.
• Then I got an idea…. congratulation… you are alive jackass. I need you to leave for 48 hours.
• I quit the business for you. I’ve got the hiccups.
• Mob Hit … Chinese Poison.
• Wait a minute do you trust me?
• You are like an adrenalin junkie.
• Let’s get it on…
• Starts off as rape and turns into a public performance.
• Now you can’t get it up… A bus load of school girls watching…… I’m alive…. doing it…
• I got Verona… uh oh… Looks like he has you.
• Hey man… are you a crack-head… you aren’t going to die in my car crack head… this is made from plant shit.
• That is what a man looks like crack head.
• tastes like ass….
• That is his car he is passing and that is hisself when he was a kid.
• Poop there it is.
• I told you it is hardcore.
• Haitian… have a nice day Devil.
• I’m out here doing my job.
• What you mean ding? What you mean ding!
• Don Carlos wants you off the streets. Destroying property.
• Find a dark hole and just die. 
• Do you think I have cunt written on my forehead?
• Hey you … Asshole.
• Everybody is Anjela in this factory.
• Don’t talk to my boyfriend like that… he kills people.
• Man… he likes hand damage.
• I forgot to take my birth control pills… uh oh.
• You weren’t lying… no.. that you would give it all up for me.
• Adrenalin is the only thing that slows it down.
• This will get you going. Until afterwards… a little high speed fellatio 
• So you can fall asleep like you always do… I don’t think so.
• They were impalanated.
• 5 star wheels.
• 254 dollars… snacks.
• I got some meth in there too.
• I can’t believe your heart is still beating.
• What do you want? 
• Right there on the newspaper machine.
• Playing some Berzerk in the backseat… headrest Berzerk
•  You got the antidote?
• Pixel man bathroom.
• Them turtles are doing it.
• Handful of pills.
• Where did I go wrong? Mum? 
• A warriors death… Don’t you know.
• Some pills doc.
• Now monkeys are doing it.
• Who us? Just some ladies sitting in gerbil balls on the roof.
• Very resourceful
• I am nobody’s little bitch…
• It is the Chinese shit.
• Finger gun.
• Don Kim… he is supposed to be dead… presto.
• Gerbil Girls.
• Rooftop hotel… again… live an uncensored…
• Lot of hand trauma.
• I will kill you for this…too late.
• A second dose.
• Who’s the bitch now.
• Motherfucking fly.
• Not enough to watch him die from the fall… how about I snap your neck.
• Unless you are trying to sell something… times up.
• Hey doll…let you go down again. I just been going going going.
• If Only you believe in miracles.
• Thanks boss! boom
• Head Shot… Head Shot. This is an actual Java Game
• Chev Chelios wakes up to a deadly surprise.
• Non-stop action from start to finish.
• Jason Statham at his best.
• Amy Smart as the supportive girlfriend Eve.
• Doc Miles, the quirky friend with medical advice.
• High-speed chases through Los Angeles.
• Keeping the adrenaline pumping to stay alive.
• Crazy stunts and intense scenes.
• Memorable one-liners and moments.
• Heart-pounding soundtrack to match the action.
• The ultimate race against time.
• Will Chev find the antidote in time?
• A wild ride that never lets up.
• Explosive finale that leaves you breathless.
• Crank up the volume and enjoy the chaos!