Oh hi, Mr Olympia Lost and Found, how may we pump you up today. Ha ha ha. Just a little levity sir. Yes, I totally understand. You’ve lost your shirt and that’s no joke.
Ok so, can you describe the shirt for me. It’s red. Right, well we have a lot of red shirts sir. Can you tell me what size it is.A large but it wears like a youth small o10+our hulking body. Oh…and white trim. Ok, well that does narrows it down. So can you tell me does it have any ironically cute pictures on it. Like an owl or a cartoon dog?
(mixed with nervous laughter) Oh, it does. uh huh It has Mickey Mouse on it. uh huh…Say…where are you calling from? The Lobby, oh ok. ok. What’s that. You say you can see me. oh…oh…Oh yes, I see you waving now. My you are one large shirtless man…..really kind of hard to miss. What’s that? The shirt I’m wearing. oh…yeah…uh…it is red…with white trim and has Mickey Mouse on it.
Hold please. (running.)
LINKS
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076578
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pumping_Iron
TWITTER
Pumping Iron (1977) – Like watching a guy getting his knees licked by a Cheetah, what am I looking at right now? Is this porn? I hate my eyes.
SHOW NOTES
Tiny lady show me how to be object of desire
Have you seen my muscles?
Gym Muscles
You see this Gold’s Gym sign? We punched that into existence.
Big Mike…how do you get that nickname among a lot of big guys? Big Tony. I noticed we never met small Mike or Tony…that’s because the big guys ate them.
This gym would intimidate me.
I see a lot of guys with hemorrhoids
28 6foot2 …. Mr Olympia…
I’m a muscle artist. Let me paints some deltoids over here with some 60 pound weights.
The Pump….blood into muscles.
Look where you point.
Never hide away…Little guys like to hide away.
Is it a requirement to have bad hair . Just shave your head and moustache …if you remove all of your body hair might as well buy all in. Leaving a bunch of hair on top of your head makes you look like some weird oily Troll doll.
You got rusty fenders. Jew. Catholic. 4 eyes. This guy had some weird bullying.
Anyone seen my muscle shirt? what’s that? all the shirts here are muscle shirts. Mine is a tiny little shirt too small for my body. Have you seen a shirt like that?
Mike Katz has some advice about kicking dogs: It’s like a dog. You can kick a dog so long and it will do two things. It’s gonna either roll over and die or it’s gonna bite you and attack you. And I’m the kind of person who is the type of a dog who would bite back…now where is my shirt! woof woof woof woof.
What’s it sound like when a room full of body builders clap. no one knows.
They have a Tall Man category?
No one is buying Mike Katz performance of appreciating Ken Waller’s win.
The 70s was a very hairy time.
Everyone involved looks like are on the set of a porno.
Arnold is impressed by dictators who are remembered for hundreds of years.
Lou eats a big salad
Lou would spend all night reading Muscle Books. what the hell was there to read in Muscle books..
Lou’s dad is after the big baby.
Body builders seem to be obsessed with analogies.
Fat Steven Wright is doing his best.
How would you like to be in a gym with a body builder who is hard of hearing?
Arnold is not a number.
Arnold is in a nice gym. Lou is in someones weight trailer.
Arnold at the gym…making everyone feel inadequate.
Is there a term for when weights start giggling and chiming.
Arnold has no fear of fainting in a gym. That is like my biggest fear in a gym
Arnold plays head games.
Like a cheetah liking your knees. It’s good
Arnold giving prankster advice.
Arnold is a dedicated prankster. Will spend 2 hours to screw you over.
Lou could not be more embarrassed of his parents in front of his idle than any child in the history of the universe.
Lou’s dad is the truth of living vicariously.
Third place in a 3 man contest. That is last my friend.
The saddest part of the whole contest. Watching Lou’s dad de-oil him.
“Alright then, I guess you guys are just going to make out like a couple of horny Replicants right in front of my lonely single existence. Soooo I’m just going to go make some breakfast with Mini Kaiser and Napoleon Bear. Say, how do you guys like your eggs? Over crazy? How about boiled in a beaker? Mmmm…sciency….NAPOLEON BEAR..NO..STOP TOUCHING YOURSELF THERE…BAD BEAR…Coo Coo….Cooo Coo”
Twitter: Blade Runner (1982) – You were made as well as we could make you.
Review
Two Versions/One Thought: Theatrical Release & Final Cut.
Blade Runner (Theatrical Release/Netflix)
An 80s homage to the Film Noir Detective stories from the 40s and starring, one of my favorite action stars from any era, Harrison Ford. A slow, sometimes uncomfortable, SciFi “thrill” ride from Ridley Scott loosely based on the Phillip K Dick story “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep.”
My first experience with Blade Runner was as bite sized chunks that I would catch while channel flipping TV on Saturday afternoons. My memories of this movie were mostly of the part with the half naked lady in the transparent rain coat getting blasted. Cause, half naked lady was half naked.
When I was in college I revisited Blade Runner on video tape and consumed the whole thing in one sitting. I remember the movie being a 3 hour epic with confusing themes and weird dialogue.
Fast forward 20 something years, I’m a lot older and a lot more sophisticated; I drink coffee and have adult conversations. I watch Blade Runner on Netflix and/or Blu-ray and can choose from 3 versions of the film. So I picked 2.
To my surprise the movie was just under 2 hours in length for all versions; Not the epic I had remembered. In the theatrical version I discovered the confusing themes were due to some poorly added voice over dialogue that muddled any vision Ridley Scott may have envisioned. In all versions, the weird dialogue was still weird but it was mostly contained to just the Replicants. Which could be explained away by saying the Replicants weren’t quite human and to boot they are off worlders who have seen a lot of crap and could have a skewed perspective due those experiences. After all, these Replicants are seeking to question their makers.
Overall, this is a visually beautiful film in all of it’s versions. It has managed to hold up to visual scrutiny 30+ years after it’s creation. That is an amazing feat!
My final call, Blade Runner is and always has been a slow ride with beautiful visuals, some weird dialogue and keeps you wonder “what’s your point Ridley Scott?”
Blade Runner (Final Cut/Blu-Ray)
Mostly the same with 100% less voice over narration by Harrison Ford and 30% more eye squashing by Rutger Hauer. You wouldn’t think those 2 elements could make or break a movie. But it does.
The Final Cut version did not include the “Then she walked into my life …” narration, which was a common theme found in some of the most memorable films from 40s detective noir era. In this case, the theme only serves to remove all the mystery from the characters and in the end makes for a much different and less interesting film.
This is the version you should watch!
Show Notes:
One moment please while I render this company’s tree logo on my green monochrome screen from 1982. Blzzz…Blzzz…Blzzz…would you also like me to print you out a hard copy on my Okidata Dot Matrix printer? Sir Run Run indeed.
Loving the music thus far.
Vangelis!
Time to read the movie!
Not execution but called retirement. Remember that word. Retirement…it seems important. also, the word Replicant is in red. As in the blood letting. As in sacrifice. As in Lamb….as in I’m just implying Christ.
LA, November 2019
This place be burning some fossil fuels.
The Eye.
The Pyramid building
Ceiling fans, smoking, intense lighting…Yep…we got some Noir
I already had an IQ test this year…
SciFi face your creation across from a table.
Leon is a jerk…why would he flip a tortoise over onto it’s back in the desert.
Hey…Leon shot first.
Off World
Koss Headphones…They still exist in 2019
So are we in China Town? or is LA now China Town? Or is this Japanese Town? Did we know the difference in 1982?
News papers in 2019
Voice Over! This is not only SciFi Film Noir..it’s SciFi Detective Voice Over Noir!
You BraydRunna
Police 995
I love gritty scifi tech.
Giant Japanese Lady Face selling me shit on the side of a building.
Flying cars…this movie is 72 percent flying cars.
It’s always hot in Film Noir…so much sweating, smoking and fans.
Skin-jobs…
In case you didn’t understand the discrimination against Replicants…the word skin-job is offensive as the N word…cause Replicants are slaves.
I was quit when I came in here…and I’m twice as quit now.
Edward J. Almos just made an origami chicken…what is he saying…Deckard is a chicken?
The screening room.
Son. You got a panty on your head.
Roy Batty! He’s cray cray…
Zhora…Off world kick-murder squad…what the hell is that!
A Pleasure model
Setup…emotional response is coming.
A 4 year lifespan. Nature will fine a way.
Why is Almos wearing a world war 2 flying ace helmet..always.
Hey!! you can see the sun from up here in my pyramid.
There is your 40s looking dame.
Deckard has a very black and white view on Replicants at this point.
What kind of glasses are those? Quad-Focals? If you were looking for a fashion statement you failed.
This movie is very much about the eyes…So far no one has glasses except for Tyrell…and he has some crazy ass glasses.
Cat-Skin wallet!! Don’t mind if I do
She’s a stone cold Replicant.
So…boiled dog….that’s the last question…that’s the deal breaker?
“How can it not know what it is…” There is a hint.
More human than to human.
That tub is nasty!
Almos is always creating little totems.
Atari! in 2019…sure…why not
Rutger!!
So sweaty
Men…Police….Men.
Hey..where are you kids heading to on your bikes? Are you in a gang?
Hey!! It’s our favorite…James Hong! Huh!
Don’t pull on my durn tubes!!
You not come here…Illegal.
William Blake sorta quote.
I do eyes…just eyes.
Look at those cat whiskers James Hong
Why is Brion James putting eyes all over me…literally.
Did they kill Hong? Is that implied?
I’ll tell you about my mother…she was gun…pew pew pew.
Future cars are all Pacers. Well the non flying kind anyway.
Deckard 97!
Voice controlled stuff is common in 2019
I notice there are no cell phones in the future..from 82
Memories and photos are important. They are what make us human?
…and a 100 baby spiders came out…and ate her..
Art – requires Intention and Interpretation.
Misdirection is important in creating a compelling story.
Just gonna cover myself up with some trash.
She’s like every cat I have surprised.
Where are your brothers Daryl and Daryl?
Daryl Hannah’s haircut is the scariest thing in this movie
“Plenty of room for everybody…”
I was wrong…JF’s Kaiser and Napoleon Bear are way more scary.
You sure got a lot of photos for someone who is not a Replicant.
Enhancing Leon’s photo is like seeing a dude’s penis in the reflection of an item you are buying on Ebay.
Not fish! Snake Scale…head on over to Alibaba Town.
Taffey Lewis…All the time pal…
Public VidPhon’s are grody
You ain’t gonna get no proper lady down in your
Miss Salome! Worst stripper name ever…wait…did they just imply that people don’t have sex anymore and Miss Salome was using the snake in an immoral way?
I love Harrison Fords nerdy government man impression. Little dirty holes!
Most animals are not real. We done really screwed up the environment.
Kick Murder Squad implies that these lady Replicants use kicking followed by the murdering.
I remember this was the first scene I ever saw from Blade Runner. I was flipping channels and Harrison Ford was shooting some lady running through glass windows…
Move on. Move on. Move on.
Painful to live in fear.
Nothing is more painful than having an itch you can never scratch. I’ve stubbed my pinky toe on the edge of a coffee table before…that is much worse.
Deckard is often comparing himself to Replicants. Misdirection to keep you wonder if he is a replicant…but really it’s to make you ask…how similar are we really without beating you over the head with it.
Deckard…you ever take that test yourself?
Nope…passed out drunk.
Ahhh yeah…take down that hair you up tight Replicant!
Deckard dreams music…and unicorns.
That reach back when she walks away from Deckard..that is an awesome shot.
So passionate…do they show passion like this in movies anymore…or is it too close to abuse now? Is he going to punch her…or kiss her.
Japanese Richola Commericial
You look like an inverted skunk…and now the implied cray cray coo-coo clock.
What type of mouth gear does JF have on his Napoleon? Why does it have the shakes. JF…your Napoleon is begging you to kill it with it’s eyes. Gurgle Gurlge…kill me please.
Daryl is 25! It’s glandular
JF lives in a house of crazy
I like to boil eggs in a beaker…hope you like your eggs scienced!
Wow…that was offensive Rutger…”we so glad you found us”
I am in a serious state of decrepitude myself
Time to meet the creator.
Setting up the rules for why Replicants only live 4 years.
You were made as well as we could make you.
Rutger Howard will make out with anything! Kiss of death.
Excuse me while I crush your skull. Ohh…there was much more eye gauging in the Final Cut version.
Come back here JF…I got something to show you!
Ok…so Roy is killing the creators.
“Have a better one…” I need that on a shirt.
Pretty sure that is what’s Tony Cox stripping Deckard’s car. I wonder how many Ewoks were in this movie
Another flying blimp movie. The future is full of ’em
I want a laughing doll…that just laughs all day…
I thought Pris was the love doll…not part of the kick murder squad.
I genuinely felt afraid of Daryl Hannah in this movie…the flopping scene was just creepy as creep can be.
Replicants can jump through the walls!
Little man. That is the second time he has been referred to as the little man.
Ouch…breaking some durn fingers.
The hunter has become the hunted
He has on the war paint.
Now he is tapping into his primal rage…he is the wolf….
Flys…flys…everywhere. You are in a chicken coup Deckard…and the wolf is coming. That is what Gaff predicted you would be.
Roy is shutting down…no problem…a little tetanus will fix that.
You better get it up!! Run…
Why is Roy doing the counting poem? Six, Seven go to hell or heaven.
Roy wants Deckard to fight for his life. To live in fear…to understand what’s it like for a Replicant?
That’s what Roy and Leon both ask him.
Why did Roy get naked during the chase?
Fans and lights…it’s the Noir way.
Rutger is so tan here…his white hair makes it even more so. In a world with no sun…he really looks other worldly.
The bells are tolling. Must be near the end..
….where the hell did you get that dove from Roy?
A slave lives in fear…so we are slaves to our creator because we fear death? only getting rid of fear are we no longer slaves? Probably reading too much into that.
…like tears in the rain…those moments will be lost…unless you take a photo! We Replicants love photos!
Let the dove go.
So..the nail was a sign that he was going to become a martyr
You’ve done a man’s job sir!
Gaff left the Unicorn in the hall! How does he know what Deckard dreams? Is he a mutant. Can he see beyond…is Deckard full of Gaff’s memories and Deckard is a Replicant?
We have lost our humanity and it has taken the Replicants sacrifice to show us how to have empathy again.
“Alright then, I guess you guys are just going to make out like a couple of horny Replicants right in front of my lonely single existence. Soooo I’m just going to go make some breakfast with Mini Kaiser and Napoleon Bear. Say, how do you guys like your eggs? Over crazy? How about boiled in a beaker? Mmmm…sciency….NAPOLEON BEAR..NO..STOP TOUCHING YOURSELF THERE…BAD BEAR…Coo Coo….Cooo Coo”
Twitter: Blade Runner (1982) – You were made as well as we could make you.
Review
Two Versions/One Thought: Theatrical Release & Final Cut.
Blade Runner (Theatrical Release/Netflix)
An 80s homage to the Film Noir Detective stories from the 40s and starring, one of my favorite action stars from any era, Harrison Ford. A slow, sometimes uncomfortable, SciFi “thrill” ride from Ridley Scott loosely based on the Phillip K Dick story “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep.”
My first experience with Blade Runner was as bite sized chunks that I would catch while channel flipping TV on Saturday afternoons. My memories of this movie were mostly of the part with the half naked lady in the transparent rain coat getting blasted. Cause, half naked lady was half naked.
When I was in college I revisited Blade Runner on video tape and consumed the whole thing in one sitting. I remember the movie being a 3 hour epic with confusing themes and weird dialogue.
Fast forward 20 something years, I’m a lot older and a lot more sophisticated; I drink coffee and have adult conversations. I watch Blade Runner on Netflix and/or Blu-ray and can choose from 3 versions of the film. So I picked 2.
To my surprise the movie was just under 2 hours in length for all versions; Not the epic I had remembered. In the theatrical version I discovered the confusing themes were due to some poorly added voice over dialogue that muddled any vision Ridley Scott may have envisioned. In all versions, the weird dialogue was still weird but it was mostly contained to just the Replicants. Which could be explained away by saying the Replicants weren’t quite human and to boot they are off worlders who have seen a lot of crap and could have a skewed perspective due those experiences. After all, these Replicants are seeking to question their makers.
Overall, this is a visually beautiful film in all of it’s versions. It has managed to hold up to visual scrutiny 30+ years after it’s creation. That is an amazing feat!
My final call, Blade Runner is and always has been a slow ride with beautiful visuals, some weird dialogue and keeps you wonder “what’s your point Ridley Scott?”
Blade Runner (Final Cut/Blu-Ray)
Mostly the same with 100% less voice over narration by Harrison Ford and 30% more eye squashing by Rutger Hauer. You wouldn’t think those 2 elements could make or break a movie. But it does.
The Final Cut version did not include the “Then she walked into my life …” narration, which was a common theme found in some of the most memorable films from 40s detective noir era. In this case, the theme only serves to remove all the mystery from the characters and in the end makes for a much different and less interesting film.
This is the version you should watch!
Show Notes:
One moment please while I render this company’s tree logo on my green monochrome screen from 1982. Blzzz…Blzzz…Blzzz…would you also like me to print you out a hard copy on my Okidata Dot Matrix printer? Sir Run Run indeed.
Loving the music thus far.
Vangelis!
Time to read the movie!
Not execution but called retirement. Remember that word. Retirement…it seems important. also, the word Replicant is in red. As in the blood letting. As in sacrifice. As in Lamb….as in I’m just implying Christ.
LA, November 2019
This place be burning some fossil fuels.
The Eye.
The Pyramid building
Ceiling fans, smoking, intense lighting…Yep…we got some Noir
I already had an IQ test this year…
SciFi face your creation across from a table.
Leon is a jerk…why would he flip a tortoise over onto it’s back in the desert.
Hey…Leon shot first.
Off World
Koss Headphones…They still exist in 2019
So are we in China Town? or is LA now China Town? Or is this Japanese Town? Did we know the difference in 1982?
News papers in 2019
Voice Over! This is not only SciFi Film Noir..it’s SciFi Detective Voice Over Noir!
You BraydRunna
Police 995
I love gritty scifi tech.
Giant Japanese Lady Face selling me shit on the side of a building.
Flying cars…this movie is 72 percent flying cars.
It’s always hot in Film Noir…so much sweating, smoking and fans.
Skin-jobs…
In case you didn’t understand the discrimination against Replicants…the word skin-job is offensive as the N word…cause Replicants are slaves.
I was quit when I came in here…and I’m twice as quit now.
Edward J. Almos just made an origami chicken…what is he saying…Deckard is a chicken?
The screening room.
Son. You got a panty on your head.
Roy Batty! He’s cray cray…
Zhora…Off world kick-murder squad…what the hell is that!
A Pleasure model
Setup…emotional response is coming.
A 4 year lifespan. Nature will fine a way.
Why is Almos wearing a world war 2 flying ace helmet..always.
Hey!! you can see the sun from up here in my pyramid.
There is your 40s looking dame.
Deckard has a very black and white view on Replicants at this point.
What kind of glasses are those? Quad-Focals? If you were looking for a fashion statement you failed.
This movie is very much about the eyes…So far no one has glasses except for Tyrell…and he has some crazy ass glasses.
Cat-Skin wallet!! Don’t mind if I do
She’s a stone cold Replicant.
So…boiled dog….that’s the last question…that’s the deal breaker?
“How can it not know what it is…” There is a hint.
More human than to human.
That tub is nasty!
Almos is always creating little totems.
Atari! in 2019…sure…why not
Rutger!!
So sweaty
Men…Police….Men.
Hey..where are you kids heading to on your bikes? Are you in a gang?
Hey!! It’s our favorite…James Hong! Huh!
Don’t pull on my durn tubes!!
You not come here…Illegal.
William Blake sorta quote.
I do eyes…just eyes.
Look at those cat whiskers James Hong
Why is Brion James putting eyes all over me…literally.
Did they kill Hong? Is that implied?
I’ll tell you about my mother…she was gun…pew pew pew.
Future cars are all Pacers. Well the non flying kind anyway.
Deckard 97!
Voice controlled stuff is common in 2019
I notice there are no cell phones in the future..from 82
Memories and photos are important. They are what make us human?
…and a 100 baby spiders came out…and ate her..
Art – requires Intention and Interpretation.
Misdirection is important in creating a compelling story.
Just gonna cover myself up with some trash.
She’s like every cat I have surprised.
Where are your brothers Daryl and Daryl?
Daryl Hannah’s haircut is the scariest thing in this movie
“Plenty of room for everybody…”
I was wrong…JF’s Kaiser and Napoleon Bear are way more scary.
You sure got a lot of photos for someone who is not a Replicant.
Enhancing Leon’s photo is like seeing a dude’s penis in the reflection of an item you are buying on Ebay.
Not fish! Snake Scale…head on over to Alibaba Town.
Taffey Lewis…All the time pal…
Public VidPhon’s are grody
You ain’t gonna get no proper lady down in your
Miss Salome! Worst stripper name ever…wait…did they just imply that people don’t have sex anymore and Miss Salome was using the snake in an immoral way?
I love Harrison Fords nerdy government man impression. Little dirty holes!
Most animals are not real. We done really screwed up the environment.
Kick Murder Squad implies that these lady Replicants use kicking followed by the murdering.
I remember this was the first scene I ever saw from Blade Runner. I was flipping channels and Harrison Ford was shooting some lady running through glass windows…
Move on. Move on. Move on.
Painful to live in fear.
Nothing is more painful than having an itch you can never scratch. I’ve stubbed my pinky toe on the edge of a coffee table before…that is much worse.
Deckard is often comparing himself to Replicants. Misdirection to keep you wonder if he is a replicant…but really it’s to make you ask…how similar are we really without beating you over the head with it.
Deckard…you ever take that test yourself?
Nope…passed out drunk.
Ahhh yeah…take down that hair you up tight Replicant!
Deckard dreams music…and unicorns.
That reach back when she walks away from Deckard..that is an awesome shot.
So passionate…do they show passion like this in movies anymore…or is it too close to abuse now? Is he going to punch her…or kiss her.
Japanese Richola Commericial
You look like an inverted skunk…and now the implied cray cray coo-coo clock.
What type of mouth gear does JF have on his Napoleon? Why does it have the shakes. JF…your Napoleon is begging you to kill it with it’s eyes. Gurgle Gurlge…kill me please.
Daryl is 25! It’s glandular
JF lives in a house of crazy
I like to boil eggs in a beaker…hope you like your eggs scienced!
Wow…that was offensive Rutger…”we so glad you found us”
I am in a serious state of decrepitude myself
Time to meet the creator.
Setting up the rules for why Replicants only live 4 years.
You were made as well as we could make you.
Rutger Howard will make out with anything! Kiss of death.
Excuse me while I crush your skull. Ohh…there was much more eye gauging in the Final Cut version.
Come back here JF…I got something to show you!
Ok…so Roy is killing the creators.
“Have a better one…” I need that on a shirt.
Pretty sure that is what’s Tony Cox stripping Deckard’s car. I wonder how many Ewoks were in this movie
Another flying blimp movie. The future is full of ’em
I want a laughing doll…that just laughs all day…
I thought Pris was the love doll…not part of the kick murder squad.
I genuinely felt afraid of Daryl Hannah in this movie…the flopping scene was just creepy as creep can be.
Replicants can jump through the walls!
Little man. That is the second time he has been referred to as the little man.
Ouch…breaking some durn fingers.
The hunter has become the hunted
He has on the war paint.
Now he is tapping into his primal rage…he is the wolf….
Flys…flys…everywhere. You are in a chicken coup Deckard…and the wolf is coming. That is what Gaff predicted you would be.
Roy is shutting down…no problem…a little tetanus will fix that.
You better get it up!! Run…
Why is Roy doing the counting poem? Six, Seven go to hell or heaven.
Roy wants Deckard to fight for his life. To live in fear…to understand what’s it like for a Replicant?
That’s what Roy and Leon both ask him.
Why did Roy get naked during the chase?
Fans and lights…it’s the Noir way.
Rutger is so tan here…his white hair makes it even more so. In a world with no sun…he really looks other worldly.
The bells are tolling. Must be near the end..
….where the hell did you get that dove from Roy?
A slave lives in fear…so we are slaves to our creator because we fear death? only getting rid of fear are we no longer slaves? Probably reading too much into that.
…like tears in the rain…those moments will be lost…unless you take a photo! We Replicants love photos!
Let the dove go.
So..the nail was a sign that he was going to become a martyr
You’ve done a man’s job sir!
Gaff left the Unicorn in the hall! How does he know what Deckard dreams? Is he a mutant. Can he see beyond…is Deckard full of Gaff’s memories and Deckard is a Replicant?
We have lost our humanity and it has taken the Replicants sacrifice to show us how to have empathy again.
“Alright then, I guess you guys are just going to make out like a couple of horny Replicants right in front of my lonely single existence. Soooo I’m just going to go make some breakfast with Mini Kaiser and Napoleon Bear. Say, how do you guys like your eggs? Over crazy? How about boiled in a beaker? Mmmm…sciency….NAPOLEON BEAR..NO..STOP TOUCHING YOURSELF THERE…BAD BEAR…Coo Coo….Cooo Coo”
Twitter: Blade Runner (1982) – You were made as well as we could make you.
Review
Two Versions/One Thought: Theatrical Release & Final Cut.
Blade Runner (Theatrical Release/Netflix)
An 80s homage to the Film Noir Detective stories from the 40s and starring, one of my favorite action stars from any era, Harrison Ford. A slow, sometimes uncomfortable, SciFi “thrill” ride from Ridley Scott loosely based on the Phillip K Dick story “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep.”
My first experience with Blade Runner was as bite sized chunks that I would catch while channel flipping TV on Saturday afternoons. My memories of this movie were mostly of the part with the half naked lady in the transparent rain coat getting blasted. Cause, half naked lady was half naked.
When I was in college I revisited Blade Runner on video tape and consumed the whole thing in one sitting. I remember the movie being a 3 hour epic with confusing themes and weird dialogue.
Fast forward 20 something years, I’m a lot older and a lot more sophisticated; I drink coffee and have adult conversations. I watch Blade Runner on Netflix and/or Blu-ray and can choose from 3 versions of the film. So I picked 2.
To my surprise the movie was just under 2 hours in length for all versions; Not the epic I had remembered. In the theatrical version I discovered the confusing themes were due to some poorly added voice over dialogue that muddled any vision Ridley Scott may have envisioned. In all versions, the weird dialogue was still weird but it was mostly contained to just the Replicants. Which could be explained away by saying the Replicants weren’t quite human and to boot they are off worlders who have seen a lot of crap and could have a skewed perspective due those experiences. After all, these Replicants are seeking to question their makers.
Overall, this is a visually beautiful film in all of it’s versions. It has managed to hold up to visual scrutiny 30+ years after it’s creation. That is an amazing feat!
My final call, Blade Runner is and always has been a slow ride with beautiful visuals, some weird dialogue and keeps you wonder “what’s your point Ridley Scott?”
Blade Runner (Final Cut/Blu-Ray)
Mostly the same with 100% less voice over narration by Harrison Ford and 30% more eye squashing by Rutger Hauer. You wouldn’t think those 2 elements could make or break a movie. But it does.
The Final Cut version did not include the “Then she walked into my life …” narration, which was a common theme found in some of the most memorable films from 40s detective noir era. In this case, the theme only serves to remove all the mystery from the characters and in the end makes for a much different and less interesting film.
This is the version you should watch!
Show Notes:
One moment please while I render this company’s tree logo on my green monochrome screen from 1982. Blzzz…Blzzz…Blzzz…would you also like me to print you out a hard copy on my Okidata Dot Matrix printer? Sir Run Run indeed.
Loving the music thus far.
Vangelis!
Time to read the movie!
Not execution but called retirement. Remember that word. Retirement…it seems important. also, the word Replicant is in red. As in the blood letting. As in sacrifice. As in Lamb….as in I’m just implying Christ.
LA, November 2019
This place be burning some fossil fuels.
The Eye.
The Pyramid building
Ceiling fans, smoking, intense lighting…Yep…we got some Noir
I already had an IQ test this year…
SciFi face your creation across from a table.
Leon is a jerk…why would he flip a tortoise over onto it’s back in the desert.
Hey…Leon shot first.
Off World
Koss Headphones…They still exist in 2019
So are we in China Town? or is LA now China Town? Or is this Japanese Town? Did we know the difference in 1982?
News papers in 2019
Voice Over! This is not only SciFi Film Noir..it’s SciFi Detective Voice Over Noir!
You BraydRunna
Police 995
I love gritty scifi tech.
Giant Japanese Lady Face selling me shit on the side of a building.
Flying cars…this movie is 72 percent flying cars.
It’s always hot in Film Noir…so much sweating, smoking and fans.
Skin-jobs…
In case you didn’t understand the discrimination against Replicants…the word skin-job is offensive as the N word…cause Replicants are slaves.
I was quit when I came in here…and I’m twice as quit now.
Edward J. Almos just made an origami chicken…what is he saying…Deckard is a chicken?
The screening room.
Son. You got a panty on your head.
Roy Batty! He’s cray cray…
Zhora…Off world kick-murder squad…what the hell is that!
A Pleasure model
Setup…emotional response is coming.
A 4 year lifespan. Nature will fine a way.
Why is Almos wearing a world war 2 flying ace helmet..always.
Hey!! you can see the sun from up here in my pyramid.
There is your 40s looking dame.
Deckard has a very black and white view on Replicants at this point.
What kind of glasses are those? Quad-Focals? If you were looking for a fashion statement you failed.
This movie is very much about the eyes…So far no one has glasses except for Tyrell…and he has some crazy ass glasses.
Cat-Skin wallet!! Don’t mind if I do
She’s a stone cold Replicant.
So…boiled dog….that’s the last question…that’s the deal breaker?
“How can it not know what it is…” There is a hint.
More human than to human.
That tub is nasty!
Almos is always creating little totems.
Atari! in 2019…sure…why not
Rutger!!
So sweaty
Men…Police….Men.
Hey..where are you kids heading to on your bikes? Are you in a gang?
Hey!! It’s our favorite…James Hong! Huh!
Don’t pull on my durn tubes!!
You not come here…Illegal.
William Blake sorta quote.
I do eyes…just eyes.
Look at those cat whiskers James Hong
Why is Brion James putting eyes all over me…literally.
Did they kill Hong? Is that implied?
I’ll tell you about my mother…she was gun…pew pew pew.
Future cars are all Pacers. Well the non flying kind anyway.
Deckard 97!
Voice controlled stuff is common in 2019
I notice there are no cell phones in the future..from 82
Memories and photos are important. They are what make us human?
…and a 100 baby spiders came out…and ate her..
Art – requires Intention and Interpretation.
Misdirection is important in creating a compelling story.
Just gonna cover myself up with some trash.
She’s like every cat I have surprised.
Where are your brothers Daryl and Daryl?
Daryl Hannah’s haircut is the scariest thing in this movie
“Plenty of room for everybody…”
I was wrong…JF’s Kaiser and Napoleon Bear are way more scary.
You sure got a lot of photos for someone who is not a Replicant.
Enhancing Leon’s photo is like seeing a dude’s penis in the reflection of an item you are buying on Ebay.
Not fish! Snake Scale…head on over to Alibaba Town.
Taffey Lewis…All the time pal…
Public VidPhon’s are grody
You ain’t gonna get no proper lady down in your
Miss Salome! Worst stripper name ever…wait…did they just imply that people don’t have sex anymore and Miss Salome was using the snake in an immoral way?
I love Harrison Fords nerdy government man impression. Little dirty holes!
Most animals are not real. We done really screwed up the environment.
Kick Murder Squad implies that these lady Replicants use kicking followed by the murdering.
I remember this was the first scene I ever saw from Blade Runner. I was flipping channels and Harrison Ford was shooting some lady running through glass windows…
Move on. Move on. Move on.
Painful to live in fear.
Nothing is more painful than having an itch you can never scratch. I’ve stubbed my pinky toe on the edge of a coffee table before…that is much worse.
Deckard is often comparing himself to Replicants. Misdirection to keep you wonder if he is a replicant…but really it’s to make you ask…how similar are we really without beating you over the head with it.
Deckard…you ever take that test yourself?
Nope…passed out drunk.
Ahhh yeah…take down that hair you up tight Replicant!
Deckard dreams music…and unicorns.
That reach back when she walks away from Deckard..that is an awesome shot.
So passionate…do they show passion like this in movies anymore…or is it too close to abuse now? Is he going to punch her…or kiss her.
Japanese Richola Commericial
You look like an inverted skunk…and now the implied cray cray coo-coo clock.
What type of mouth gear does JF have on his Napoleon? Why does it have the shakes. JF…your Napoleon is begging you to kill it with it’s eyes. Gurgle Gurlge…kill me please.
Daryl is 25! It’s glandular
JF lives in a house of crazy
I like to boil eggs in a beaker…hope you like your eggs scienced!
Wow…that was offensive Rutger…”we so glad you found us”
I am in a serious state of decrepitude myself
Time to meet the creator.
Setting up the rules for why Replicants only live 4 years.
You were made as well as we could make you.
Rutger Howard will make out with anything! Kiss of death.
Excuse me while I crush your skull. Ohh…there was much more eye gauging in the Final Cut version.
Come back here JF…I got something to show you!
Ok…so Roy is killing the creators.
“Have a better one…” I need that on a shirt.
Pretty sure that is what’s Tony Cox stripping Deckard’s car. I wonder how many Ewoks were in this movie
Another flying blimp movie. The future is full of ’em
I want a laughing doll…that just laughs all day…
I thought Pris was the love doll…not part of the kick murder squad.
I genuinely felt afraid of Daryl Hannah in this movie…the flopping scene was just creepy as creep can be.
Replicants can jump through the walls!
Little man. That is the second time he has been referred to as the little man.
Ouch…breaking some durn fingers.
The hunter has become the hunted
He has on the war paint.
Now he is tapping into his primal rage…he is the wolf….
Flys…flys…everywhere. You are in a chicken coup Deckard…and the wolf is coming. That is what Gaff predicted you would be.
Roy is shutting down…no problem…a little tetanus will fix that.
You better get it up!! Run…
Why is Roy doing the counting poem? Six, Seven go to hell or heaven.
Roy wants Deckard to fight for his life. To live in fear…to understand what’s it like for a Replicant?
That’s what Roy and Leon both ask him.
Why did Roy get naked during the chase?
Fans and lights…it’s the Noir way.
Rutger is so tan here…his white hair makes it even more so. In a world with no sun…he really looks other worldly.
The bells are tolling. Must be near the end..
….where the hell did you get that dove from Roy?
A slave lives in fear…so we are slaves to our creator because we fear death? only getting rid of fear are we no longer slaves? Probably reading too much into that.
…like tears in the rain…those moments will be lost…unless you take a photo! We Replicants love photos!
Let the dove go.
So..the nail was a sign that he was going to become a martyr
You’ve done a man’s job sir!
Gaff left the Unicorn in the hall! How does he know what Deckard dreams? Is he a mutant. Can he see beyond…is Deckard full of Gaff’s memories and Deckard is a Replicant?
We have lost our humanity and it has taken the Replicants sacrifice to show us how to have empathy again.
This week I thought I would try to predict 3 miracles that could elevate this episode of Filmsack to sainthood. “Saint Sack.” Miracle One, Randy, I’m going to need you to stay within 140 characters or less on that twitter post this week brother. Miracle Two, Scott, no talking about Elisabeth Shue’s hygiene or feet. I know her last name is Shue…so this will be tough. Miracle Three, Ibbott, No clever Batman observations. Like how Bruce Wayne and Simon Templar were both orphans and were both played by Val Kilmer and got married in Vegas or some something. Now Saint me!
Twitter: The Saint (1997) Like sketching a statue in the cold cold dank…..wait is that marble experiencing shrinkage? Miracle number 4!
Show Notes:
Paramount! A Viacom dealy
Angelic Music…James Bond almost
Elisabeth Shoes!
Ignatius Ophanage.
The Knights Templar…
is he is a priest…why is his napkin so large?
I hate this book!
Children of Sin! Bastards! Named after Saints. Catholic Priest who gave away all oh his belongings.
Fruit cage! Cage the fruit.
The old punish everybody if you don’t do what I say.
Lock picking level 12
Lady Lockdown…
What is up with the skew a view shots
Is this an orphanage or a prison…they brought out the dogs.
Perhaps I will take you to my Ha-ome in africa.
Oh you bad boy…you got the girl killed.
Sony tech. Learn by tape
Statue arm camera…thought it was going to go on a nipple.
Friends, Countrymen, Russians.
I am batman….
Watch full of Cocaine.
So much Sony Tech. Saint Sony
It’s a tiny tiny chip.
Suck me sideways…hehe.
Gee…you have a gun on me at the edge of a ledge…wonder if I will jump.
Midair Mustache Removal is my favorite.
Catch me if you can.
Computer Cab. The precursor to Uber?
Why 50 million? Will we find out later!!
boris the spider and the human fly
Public Place meeting.
Room full of doctors
Dude-a-rons!
Favorite disquise. Middle Aged/Big Teeth Skeptic
Lady doctor has post it notes all over her apartment.
I need me a swiss army tool of
Floppy Disk on a Macintosh? Apple IIE…what is that…Screen shows one thing but he is in front of a PC
Penis statue. I has a penis statue
Who wears leather pants and sketches naked statues.
I carry around the formula for energy in my underwear
Character has flaw heart problems.
Elisabeth Shue is very breathy and gentle
Filming must have taken place at some very overcast areas. They did some practical effects to brighten the sky in several scenes.
The Close up scream.
Let’s get nek’d scene
I liked this movie the second time I saw it…when it was called Master Of Disquise. Thank you Dana Carvey!!
Oh man…that satellite/cell phone with texting capabilities back in 96
Elisabeth Shue has the ability to be sexy without being trashy.
“Fly…don’t buzz off…” Clever texts
Trivia : HELSINKI- Nokia has paid Paramount Pictures a $1.2m fee to feature its Nokia 9000 Communicator in the Hollywood blockbuster `The Saint’ which is currently being released globally, according to a report in the Finnish newspaper, Turun Sanomat, which quoted unnamed Nokia officials.”It makes a real statement about Nokia’s …Apr 25, 1997
The Nokia 9000 is used by Val Kilmer when he played Simon Templar in the 1997 remake of The Saint,[4] and by Anthony Hopkins and Chris Rock in the action comedy Bad Company. Geo location by cell phone.
Victim become investigator
The rat race
Platters of cash…the only way to deliver your winnings.
Master of disquise will eventually disquise as his nemesis.
Name that saint game
Blow job implied. While you are down there.
These Russian Guards look like Castle Guards for the Wicked Witch Of The West.
The most memorable scene of the movie. The Cold Water Scene. Everything in Russia is so cold.
Just trying to warm up with Elisabeth Shue…totes worth it.
Bad guy with a cane…but doesn’t need one…very pimpster
Russian Power Struggle
Got to escape in the water tubes.
This lock pick/survival knife has everything…including a welding torch.
What you wanna bet this is going to be minus.
You ever lifted a man hole cover?
What a conviently located gas main inside of a sewage/water main…this tube has it all.
American Embassy! The real hero of any movie in a foreign country.
Except in that movie with Owen Wilson.
The Saints real superpower is his magic flash bang distractions he always sets up so he can disappear
The bad guy son
Thomas Moore…my personal saint.
We set up the rules. Be a really good person and perform 3 miracles. So let’s wrap this thing up.
Digital Fax!
The weird Russian Scientist…no doubt they have his daughter locked up somewhere.
I wish I understood formulas better. Most scientist can see when their is a solution to the problem…
The Russian President is a fool to trust an American.
Friends…Countrymen…Russians!…this is my thing
Cold Fusion gonna blow you up
Kind of gave me chills. Is that even how Cold Fusion works…is all that light radioactive…I wish I understood science better.
Miracle 1. Cold Fusion Lights.
How many endings does this movie have.
The Criminal [Name]
Russians like titling their criminals.
Miracle 2 is arresting the bad guy?
A proper rogue.
Love this music.
So is she the girl who fell at the start of the movie or not? That’s what I remember
Cold Fusion Mumbo Jumbo.
Such an upbeat movie
I love you Simon is a miracle? These miracles are lame.
Oh snap…she did it to you…she left you.
Orphans…Bastards at best…comment…yep…that’s her…Does the saint know that?
Intro: Hey Monkey Hand Feet (Casandra)…why don’t you be my Tripwire Canary and run through this organic minefield of crazy dystopian weaponry, so I don’t get hurt. spider walk! spider walk! spider walk!
Twitter: AEon Flux (2005) – Like male pattern baldness 400 years in the future. Sorry Daryl, still no cure! But we do have monkey hand feet! monkey hand feet! –@thebriandunaway
Show Notes:
mtv astronauts!
grody….flys puke when they land…puked right in the eye.
2011 is gonna suck!
That look when you pass someone on the street….and they are too close.
Goodchild is da boss.
mmmm…Guilded cage
Girl…you got a panty on your head.
Oh…remember slow mo walks down steps.
What are these…rainbow ninjas!!
Nature is pissssssed
I wonder who the rebels are…could they be the goth looking people
Grossest way to exchange data capsules ever.
Brain Freeze!!
and now I am playing Assasin’s Creed.
Eon! That is how you say it.
Walking and astral projecting! Sounds risky.
Oh…technology of the future proves that photos will one day be holograms encapsulated in amber.
Clothes of the future are stupid looking.
Ninja Gymnist Assassin
The pool of tears…that ring is crying
She is disrupting the monitoring!
Why is there a fruit pool?
This Kitchen seems very Asian.
Shot in the face!!
She wasn’t a Monican…she was a Dominican.
The one thing they get right…insensible sleep wear
Why would your ear phone implant glow…you wouldn’t be able to see it…
hehe…penetrate his security
Hey lady…you got some kind of pollen coming out your mouth
Monkey hand feet!
I should replace my feet with other body parts.
This garden is organically armed to the teeth.
Things that work in animation do not always work in movies. Like this whole movie
AEon was very thin and alien looking in the animated series. It made sense for her character to slither along like a scorpion. Here…not so much
Good thing AEon has her monkey hand feet friend to find all the booby traps first
The room of red chairs. I make all my decisions here.
A leader named Trevor…it has to be the future.
That has to be the worst arm scar map ever.
Just let me switch my eye ball into ….scary as f*ck mode…
Whistle controlled marbles to the rescue…We scrub so you don’t have to.
Seems like jumping over the portholes would be the most inefficient way of travel. I mean it looked cool..
Token black guy of the future. Was this 2005? C’mon!
Stop…hammer time.
Trevor tried to dope me…is dope still a word in 2500 whatever the hell it said.
Hey…it’s a chemical message…in a bottle…message in a bottle! BTDub
Aeon is always trying to take a man’s head off.
Nope…not interested. Would not go down the steps that opened up in the floor.
Geez Trevor…love yourself much? Look at all those paintings of yourself.
All this technology
This leather spider garter belt is very slimming…and now I’m somewhere else. So many dimensions…so little space
oww…gas pipes to the back…ouch. Earring gernade pin pull hurts like a mutha
I see there is still no cure for male pattern baldness in the future.
Water Tech has really come a long way.
Betrayed by monkey hand feet….that really hurts.
I think the casting director said…”looking for people with unique faces to play parts in movie about the future…”
The GoodChild Blimp.
The big jellyfish in the sky says I should be eating more fiber.
She is going to Cirque Du Soleil this GoodChild Blimp
Well this blimp is full of weirdness.
Milking this fruit
Extricate her.
Why is the watcher in some kind cone of shame. Are they afraid he will like his butt and pull out the stiches.
All secrets are revealed…we are the Children of Men
This should be called the fingore movie
Hey..you are that guy who’s face is everywhere!
Everywhere you go there is some announcer lady telling you how things are going to go down.
Gross…ripped scab – band aid brand.
Garret. Trevor…it was all in the baby book for the 25th century.
The “Lost My Research” Trope.
Aeon Flux…breaking necks is what I do.
Oh my goodness Wilhelm Scream.
Something to fight for…Casandra.
What you doing? Are you gonna blow me up?
I’ve waited an hour and a half and I am tired.
You look like a pig in a blanket old man. Some kind of futuristic thermal foil pig in a blanket.
