This week on Filmsack we dig deep into Disney’s Darkest Hole. I mean we really get in there and dig around for nuggets of..oh….hold on guys…I’m getting an “ESP.” Uh huh..right…yeah..I’ll tell them…ok guys I just got a brain call from everyone’s favorite 1970 era sci-fi robot… old “one ball” B.O.B. …It appears he survived after all. However, he assimilated with Ernest Borgnine and now identifies as No Balls / Borg B.O.B….I’ll just let that one burn into your soul for a minute while you struggle to imagine a sweaty robot with a mustache. Does anybody have a 2 minute overture they want to play? Might help pass the time. No…
Alright! Oh wait! I’m getting another “ESP!” It’s V.I.N.Cent uh huh…right…yeah….I’ll tell ’em. V.I.N.Cent says he’s sorry. He’s sorry he asked all you lovely Filmsackers to endure this movie and he promises to never do it again. Nah I’m kidding…he started quoting some long dead philosopher and I remembered that this is ESP and I could just severe the connection. Click!
Well, I hope you enjoyed the view from the sidecar of my imagination…. and now here is that 2 minute overture I promised. No? Do you prefer commercials and 20 trailers before your movie? Fine. Then that is what you will get. …and now on with the show this is shit…this is PG! I can say that…it’s PG! we can talk about hell and everything!
The Black Hole (1979) – WTF! How is that an ending! Oh wait! I’m getting an “ESP!” Extra Spicy Poop
Switchblade open. Switchblade closed. Switchblade open…switchblade…shhh…shh..be quiet evil. Do you just want the pretty lady with the hair beads and white leisure suit to know I am hiding behind this shower curtain just inches away. The answer is… Not Yet! So, Switchblade open. Switchblade closed. Switchblade open…switchblade …oh it’s time! I just need a little redirection…a little cold water drip shower drip should do it. Oh…here comes the hand…the hand is here! oh wow…would you just look at that manicure…that’s nice…I really don’t take near good enough care of my nails. ah crap. Hand is gone. Focus Evil Focus
Switchblade open. Switchblade closed. Switchblade open…switchblade…oh I think she left the bathroom…let’s try this again. Cold water activated.. oh too much too much…stupid hotel shower handles and their mysteries. oh… She’s coming back! and now here comes the hand! focus… Happy New Years lady! Reek Reek Reek and Booby stab!
Great. Now I have blood all over me. But no worries…I’m already in the shower so just turn on a little water and too much! too much! Oh how I hate you hotel shower and how you have castrated me and that is not nice.
New Year’s Evil (1980) – Like a punk rocker with a switchblade comb standing toe to toe with a police officer…Tickets…Let’s Have your Tickets….Oh that is Evil.
Call me evil
For Christ Sake…do you know what time it is? Take my ludes!? bup that.
That is one mighty risky outfit Ron is wearing.
this music…bud duh dum.
Richard is in Palm Springs loaded and coked up.
Somebody fix that leak!! Reek Reek Reek
It happens. The drippy faucet mangler strikes again. He know you can’t resist the dripping water.
Since he attacked after the main door creeping open I can assume nothing.
What is this song…it is so late 70s
Do you reckon that is his grandma’s Lincoln? What would Matthew say.
So these are punks? too early for Goths?
That cop does not like the look of this punk scene. Tickets…Let’s Have your Tickets…
Switchblade comb….hilarious with your friends…good way to get ass stomped with the police
Spaceship America…Totally hot show…got to be on it moms. My part…series…mom…mom
Blaze is the first lady of Rock…The first VJ?
We call our’s New Year’s Evil…
Hollywood Hotline. This is Claire…my vote is “We don’t need no education”
You sound like the phantom. You bad honey? No! just Evil…Set the stage
Seattle Band Shadow
Always some angry kid dumping food working in the kitchen
Sanatoriums be just like this. Spot on.
Jeff Winters is going to charm himself right in the front door.
Jeff Winters always comes prepared…Wine…Music and Game.
Did we step into a porn?
He counts every second shuffle dance
Derrick Little Lord Fauntleroy can’t get no attention from his mommy…let’s turn to drugs
meanwhile back at the Jeff Winters room. bow chicha bow wow.
I guess every movie gets at least good idea….this one is killing during the new years hooting and hollering.
This group of fans are doing something between moshing and parquor.
This is Evil…remember me…Exterminate!
somewhere in the Sanatorium…have fun
Does everybody in the movie carry a switch of some sort. Either a blade or a comb.
Son…that is not how you wear mommy’s stockings ahh hoes no.
You ever see a real mustache that looked fake.
This cop needs to learn the term “personal space.”
The plan. Kill locals for every timezone passing through New Years
Erica Estrada Parta!
Oh goody…2 for 1 deal
Do you know what you need TM to Zen…Nervous Diarrhea
Riding the dumb blond in his Mercedes.
When A girls doesn’t have a date for new years…she is in shit city.
The biggest bottle of Champagne they got…as long as it is under $100 bucks.
Hey…smell my weed I keep in this baggie…closer…closer…that’s it..bam…suffocation!
He’s not real good at hiding bodies.
Well I must admit…I didn’t see that Oscar The Grouch scene coming. A real Swinger
blood…more blood…we better get some help…that’s too much blood for 2 guys
oh no…he stabbed her boob!
This guy has a weird manifesto
Distracted driving! Nun of your business.
This plan went sideways when you plowed down a biker gang.
Blood Feast! down at the drive-in
We don’t pay for tickets!
Hey…they ain’t watching movies! They are doing dirty things ! Blowing pot and touching private areas
I am a man of God…not a man of violence…Stab Stab!
Where are the Fing keys? “In the ignition man!”
Listen Mister….I only got 3 dollars.
and my body!
haha…how this blonde runs. Brillant
A sequential part
Mutilated Breasts…that’s a mother’s fixation.
Hey Officer can you give me a hand over here…I think I found a drunk…nope…it was just a brick
Orderly, Swinger, Priest now Cop…He’s living out a pornstar dream.
Like Father Like Son
Did her screaming knock the police offer out?
Instant Replay. Miracle of modern technology!
“Ladies are not very nice people.’ – Very Very Selfish.
You castrated me and that is not nice.
me and the kid are going to the RoseBowl and you can sleep in.
This week on Fuzz-sack It’s no accident the Bad Boys of film review chase down a group of hooded figures from The Actors’ Guild of Great Britain. In fact it was quite inevitable that we would get around to this satirical parody that features many classically Sackable films; Bad Boys II, Lethal Weapon, Die Hard and Point Break. We’ve sacked them all…and now this…
So sit back …grab those biscuits that you lifted from the local grocer and prepare yourself for some paperwork that looks a hell of a lot more exciting than it actually is.