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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Dearest Del Toro. Please don’t start weaving me a story about a one armed Elf King and not reveal what happened to that freaking arm!

I mean, was he born that way? Did the humans take it to fill their empty heart holes? Did he lose it in a cookie baking competition up on Keebler hill? C’mon man, I need details!

You can’t just drop a bomb like “one armed elf” and run away laughing maniacally. Hold on…was that it…did he lose it in some mythical high school prank gone wrong. Perhaps he cooked that cherry-bomb too long before tossing it into the toilet? BTW, I heard that is how Randy lost 40% of his hearing in his right ear.

Anywho, just need closure on that arm thing man.

Yours Truly,

Both Arms Brian

 

 

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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

The Whole Nine Yards (2000) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Man, all the ladies in this week’s filmsack movie are “smoking!”  am i right? High five guys! Seriously though, why are all the ladies in this movie smoking tobacco products? I have concerns.

Oh….and Amanda Peet…more like Amanda’s Teets! Yeah, Ibbott knows what I’m talking about. You paused that so many times that even Blockbuster couldn’t rewind it. Up top brother! What…c’mon! Don’t leave me hanging!

Well, can I at least get a shout out to inappropriate mentor/student relations? Bruce Willis…40s hooks up with Amanda Peet in her 20s using his influence as a hitman hero. Wow, That whole story line just touched me….inappropriately…and deserves to go to jail.

Overall, I give this movie two teets up.

My eyes are up here Randy.

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Filmsack Notes Thoughts

Around The World In 80 Days (2004) : Filmsack – Notes

Around The World In 80 Days (2004)

Intro:

As you guys know…I have a wife for everyday of the week.  But good news! I’ve decided to divorce Tuesday wife for more sacking! Viva La Filmsack. Now if you will excuse me. I have to go urinate in public and re-attach this mans nipples. Don’t worry. I’m going to wash my hands before and after each…because otherwise that would be gross. Lord Salisbury stop pointing at my thinker!

Links:

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0327437

WIKIPEDIA: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Around_the_World_in_80_Days_(2004_film)

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlsgwJUNFNU

JUSTWATCH: https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/around-the-world-in-80-days

Twitter:

Around The World In 80 Days (2004) – Like taking a “Steamer” to London captained by a man with no nipples. Wear the rubber underpants!

Notes:

That China-Man is robbing the bank of England.

The Steam Punk Conehead

Wear the rubber pants

Trope: Agree to a dangerous job to avoid apprehension / Oh you must be the Servant from Servant Co that I was expecting.

Crazy backyard scientist….

Flubber and movies of this like use Steam powered science that is more akin to bubbly soda

Nothing funnier than the ole face punch through a painting where the painting face should be.

I don’t think they know what a Valet is. or perhaps I do not

Ramsey invented the slinky in the late 1800s and was put in the lunatic asylum.

Impregnable vs impenetrable.

As adjectives the difference between impenetrable and impregnable is that impenetrable is not penetrable while impregnable is too strong to be penetrated or impregnable can be capable of being impregnated.

Lord Salisbury

A woman in the Royal Academy!

The Jade Buddha

Little Red Rule Book

I got to admit…I laughed at Passport Two…passepartout

Turns on with a whistle.

Was 50 miles per hour ever really a barrier?

The whisper game

Elderly Norwegians with very tiny feet

Fortnight (2 weeks)

These British have the best teeth of any British I have seen in the late 1800s

Challenge extended. Challenge accepted.

Everyone has a price…or do they.

The wager…no more science…or all the science. Royal Academy of Science head…sounds like a lot of work.

Sitting in my copper tub….thinking about my poor choices.

Keep getting this movie confused with Shanghai Knights

Nothing funnier than seeing an authoritarian figure being drug down the road by a horse/car

Me Brain’s Leaking!

Trope: Asian lady who is good with knives

Ahh…the early years of 3d animation. Nice twist on the map travel interstitials or transitions though

Wait a moment! This is not science…it is art.

Grass is not charcoal.

Man is not a chicken….The Van Gogh loop was very popular in France during the late 1800s

You dream of flying and naked men?

Women are getting pushed out everywhere.

Old French ladies are always trying to take a bite out of Jackie Chan

Old French lady taking a face plant made me laugh.

Brothel humor makes me laugh. No it does not.

Ahh…Jackie Chan…saving sleeping ladies from their own incompetence

The statue is grabbing his trousers! It also has dreams of flying and naked men.

Jackie Chan getting pants is always good humor.

Jackie Chan is the bumbling fool that has skills…the police man is just bumbling

Fogg is smitten with fancy hoes.

A wild Arnold appears.

What a weird choice for Istanbul prince?

I never think when I am naked…

Arnold does not like you pointing at his thinker.

Bathing suits are weird.

A wife for each day of the week. But what if I want to be single on Tuesdays!

They are taking the idea of Fat Cats to the highest degree.

Lord Kelvin is cold.

Cross Dressing is always funny …especially when trying to escape in a crowd. except that it is not and always ends with the hunter being smitten with the prey until they realize…and the pursuit continues

Man of many chains…you do not want to go against…the man of many chains

Sake and Dominos

Perhaps one of the most violent Disney movies since Flubber

Drunk China-man..

kanpai! is that also a Chinese cheer? or just Japanese.

Chinese: Nien Nien nu e. Kong Chien
Chinese: Yung sing (“drink and win”)
Chinese Cantonese: Gom bui (“dry the cup”)
Chinese Mandarin: Gan bei (“dry the cup”)

I went back…she is saying Gom Bui…possibly Gan bei.

Chan, surveying the pre-show chaos, periodically contributed comments in a mishmash of English, Mandarin, and Cantonese, the language of his native Hong Kong. “I’ve forgotten how to speak Cantonese!” he said. In Beijing, where he lives now, Mandarin is spoken. He leaned over to a young Chinese-American visitor nearby.

That is one convenient story-telling dresser..it has pictures and letters and everything to easily explain everything for Fogg…who is an idiot.

Fogg…the last to know.

Screaming China-Man….”Please let me go. I am bored!”

Ding Ding Ding….no no…Ding Dang Dong…Passpourtout

Mr. Grumpy and the leatherettes

Your silly bracelet.

French ladies like to spit.

This is some good fighting.

Jackie Chan has his ass stuck in a cart. Go home to momma.

10 Tigers!

Chair and Ladder assists are always in Jackie Chan fighting.

I really admire the Chinese people. They always seem to put a lot of work in…that’s why I hate to see someone get thrown into a pile of collected work…like when I a Chinese citizen sorts all those skittles by color just to have a bad guy get tossed into it. ugh.

Public Urinater got to do what a public urinater got to do. I think I got some pee pee on me.

an hour and 20 minutes in and act 2 is over…time for act 3

Does this wall ever end? It’s like some kind of great wall. Perhaps you will run into Matt Damon. I wish a I had a valet

I’m such a Rutabaga.

Drug broker.

Alms…for the poor?

A wild Rob Schneider appears…and smells like a dead horse.

I’ll cut you with my wooden spoon! You devil worshipping drawer.

Got to be a record for Cameos in a Filmsack movie.

Where are the Flying Men! The bird men are coming.

A man who lives what he dreams

So did Disney just have a few actors on payroll they needed to use?

haha….was sad when I realized this was not Shanghi Knights…then happy again when Cowboy Owen Wilson showed up…then sad again when Luke Wilson appeared.

Crazy English Wanna Be Cowboy Man….get out the way.

America loves a good wager

Taking a “Steamer” to London.

That was one epic battle.

She is the 11th Tiger and Finally…a lady punches a lady out.

Formula…The Threesome. Man/Woman romance and Third Wheel who has a seperate agenda but is friends with both man and woman.

How many filmsack films have The Statue of Liberty in them?

Did we do Ghostbusters 2?

Captain no nips hasn’t gotten any since the shark attack

Most people would laugh at you. not us. We care about you

Birds is the idea…burn birds.

New nipples for a boat. You had me at the nipples

Those poor sailors…stuck at sea with a captain with no nipples.

As most American Technology of the late 1800s…powered by a china-man

It’s a slinky…fun for Lord Kelvin

Look out for darts in the back

Street people are afraid of bird people….

We didn’t go to New Zealand

I’m a battered Lord

Big fat royal bottom!

She’s behind me isn’t she.

In another timeline…the queen of England hobbles James Caan…and in another she takes a sit in a hot tub with Jack Nicholson.

I am not even going to try to figure out timezones.

 

Categories
Filmsack Notes Thoughts

Thinner (1996) : Filmsack – Notes

Thinner (1996)

Intro:

Oh hey!

When I heard we were doing another Stephen King movie for Filmsack I got pretty excited!

Needless to say I was in a hurry to get home Friday.

So  I stopped by 7-Eleven and picked up some Chicken tenders and grabbed a couple of scratchers.

Then on the way out the door I pulled out a quarter and started scratching!

That’s when I  accidentally bumped into an old Gypsy woman.

She said  for a quarter she could tell me my fortune and pull up her skirt.

I said “I’ll take the fortune grandma, but I’m not interested in seeing your man cave.”

So she snatched my quarter and grabbed me by my skroat & whispered

…”Winner Winner, Chicken Thinner.” …

I was all like! “Holy crap! How did you know that?”

She leaned in real close and whispered “I follow you on twitter white man from internet.”

Turns out she was just a bag lady with broadband.

Links:

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117894/

WIKIPEDIA: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thinner_(film)

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UC5RtQL6clc

JUSTWATCH: https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/thinner

Twitter:

Thinner (1996) – Like Stephen King poking your mook eyes out & shoving a chicken down down your gullet. Hey is that Reddi-Whip?

Notes:

I feel fat

old cars and Stephen King

caravan of gypsy

I would take Maxx Doogenfield out

tappy tappy court reporter…

Now that she has gone through the change…everything is bea-au-tiful

Eating spaghetti on a boat! Then a bag of chips on the way back to the office..then a jog up the stairs.

Gypsy Fair!

Didn’t your prick ever escape the 6th grade…

A quarter to pull up Kari Whur skirt

The judge thinks Kari Whur is going to give the football team the clap.

Fat guy skinny wife

Digging my grave with a spoon and fork.

Stephen King looks like a pharmacist.

Every time a fat man gets a blow job a gypsy dies.

This Stephen King cameo is more than just a cameo…he’s starring in the damn movie.

The skid marks of Billy were analyzed…it would appear the poop stains were on point.

Sir…thinner…

Billy I don’t think Richard Simmons gives a shit about your call.

See your balls without looking at a mirror.

That old gyp.

What did the gypsy say when he touched the judge… “gross spot”

Every kid loves to hear their dad masticate.

Lynda turned into little orphan annie

Dr. Mikey is a moron.

lizard! evolution in reverse!

you and your family shouldn’t be driving.

What curse did the sheriff get?

Hey Biff…do you take Travelers Checks.

How hard is it to find traveling Gypsys

Those gypsies are all in…made dolls and everything.

What kind of gypsy slingshot is that anyways.

that scene was getting weird…makes sense it was a dream.

Drove his Lincoln into a gas truck. He always wanted to be cremated.

You ever lose weight quickly…that skin be hanging.

She called you “White man from town.” That the best you got?

Why wasn’t you watching…white man from town.

Are Gypsies not white man?

Gypsy Justice

ouch…that is some pretty bad body gore.

What kind of pills does that “almost” doctor have.

Ok..Frank Spurton…you seem like a smart man

The ole…pluck your eyes out and stuff a chicken in your mouth…

He was my mook

Gypsies be packing heat. But can’t drive for shit

The ole…tape up your mouth and pretend like you are the bad guy.

Special agent Stoner.

Gypsy Whurer is an easy mark.

“Acid Bitch”…j/k Soda pop and Baking soda.

How can you smell anything with that thing on your nose.

That is not a good pie…I do not want that pie.

I would instantly offer the curse pie to the old gyp.

Die Clean…White man from town.

Bubbly Blood Pie…Bubbly bubbly

grote…don’t kiss her…

Dumbass…you killed your daughter

Mmmm…deadberry pie

mmm…breakfast pie…White doctor from town…

Commital inabsentia

Like weighing yourself with a box of nilla wafers