Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Space Jam (1996) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Ok guys. I know it’s been a rough week for all of us… but I got some good news! I found out what happened to all of our talents! and I was able to retrieve them and put them into this sack…. But before everybody starts touching my Sack let me make sure I have the right talents.

Let’s see….I have a blue collar hick accent…Randy…I think that one is yours. …and…I have a bottle labeled “Saturday Night 180 Proof”…I’m assuming that one goes to Ibbott’s house…alright…and I have an alternate title card with a booger on it…pretty sure that one is yours Scott and gross….and finally here is my box of intros that I won from the devil in a fiddling contest.

Alright, everybody grab my sack and hold on tight! Woohoo wrong sack guys! I believe I can flyyyyy….I believe you just touched my guy!

Hey “I didn’t know Dan Aykroyd was in this intro!

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117705

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Jam

TWITTER

Space Jam (1996) – Like Party people in the house…feel the bass…work that body….hey DJ turn it up. Hoomp there it is? Do your dance…wave your hands in the air…c’mon c’mon..ready to stop…ladies…fellas? Nah Nah Nah #90s

SHOW NOTES

  • Wait…is this the one with people and the cartoons?
  • Shooting star! catch it
  • Reitman!
  • Oh man…right out of the gate with the feels!
  • Summer 1973….I believe I can flyyyy..
  • Holy crap…It’s after midnight Michael…we can’t sleep!
  • Dad gonna let him shoot another…until he misses…
  • Michael wants to go to College and play in North Carolina! Get an education…and then to the NBA!
  • Baseball! Now that is a sport! Thanks dad!
  • Dad planted the idea of flying! Fly Michael!
  • Finally…the team up we have been waiting for…Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan.
  • Party people in the house…feel the bass…work that body….hey DJ turn it up. Hoomp there it is? Do your dance…wave your hands in the air…c’mon c’mon..ready to stop…ladies…fellas? Nah Nah Nah
  • I am seeing a lot of NBA action…where is that college education jam?
  • 1996 does Jordan retire?
  • Jordan in the outfield
  • Meanwhile on mars….
  • Ahh…some of that sweet 3d cartoon animation of the late 90s
  • Sludge Summit! Don’t bring me here anymore right…
  • We need new attractions! “The customer is always right…always…”
  • We need something nutty…wacky…Looney! Yes…
  • What kind of creatures are these? Bugs? Moron Mountain…
  • Can’t teach “looking good in that uniform.”
  • Like tips from the catcher….
  • poor Michael…that was a good looking strikeout.
  • Newman! Stan Podalack.
  • Meanwhile, at the Piggly Wiggly.
  • These guys are like the green aliens in Toy Story.
  • So Loonies are deep in the crust of the earth?
  • This was during the time Speilberg was having a love affair with Looney Tunes…Tiny Toons?
  • So did Michael mention how they treated him during his baseball stint?
  • Thanks Sherm.
  • Back off Stan…what would he do around the house?
  • Charles the dog…
  • Michael is just an ordinary guy back home with his family…living in suburbia.
  • Mmm…Chicken and Collard Greens!
  • Taking tips from his kid.
  • Was there this much Bugs Bunny and Road Runner in 1996?
  • Breaking the 4th wall!
  • Emergency Cartoon Meeting!
  • Daffy Duck can’t even get himself wet around here.
  • Our theme park in outer space…like Six Flags?
  • Slavery subject matter with Bugs Bunny cartoons.
  • A lot of fan nods.
  • What is up with Sylvester
  • Aliens from Moron Mountain.
  • They picked the Aliens one weakness…shortness…I wish I was a little bit taller…I wish I was a baller.
  • The plan…challenge the invading aliens to a b-ball game since they are short.
  • Hey…it’s Patricia Heaton and Dan Castellaneta
  • Oh these Aliens can inhabit another body? No…they can steal your talent! That is way worse….
  • Not only their talent but also their co-ordination.
  • Hey…that news guy is that guy…
  • “Watch Patrick Ewing…” Odd…so it takes talent to walk?
  • It’s the germs in New York…with masks…oh geez….can’t escape this.
  • That was some wicked talent…now they are all monsters!
  • Hey little pig…boo…and Porky peed himself.
  • They are MonStars.
  • Bill Murray back on the golf course talking to things.
  • Bill Murray is white?!
  • This golf course scene was really longer than it needed to be
  • I love Bill Murray…but he isn’t saying much.
  • “Nothing but the bottom of the cup.”
  • nooo! he lost his Jordans!
  • What kind of camera is that!
  • Why is Looney Tune land deep in the earth.
  • Bugs Bunny is far too willing to lay a smooch on someone.
  • Everybody is playing their part.
  • Michael Jordan has a paperclip in his ear.
  • So they are comparing entertainers and performers to slaves. Interesting.
  • “We’ve got balls!”
  • Spit Shine!! grote Taz…lemony fresh
  • All the Monster numbers are Zeros
  • Every heroes flaw in the 80s and 90s…” Chicken”
  • “My poor little cranium.” – Tweety Bird
  • I got a Basketball Jones on…this is way creepy…Barkley playing with young girl basketball players over top of some sexy music.
  • 5 feet nothing…blocked my shot.
  • Barkley is choosing the natural route while everybody else is using science.
  • Lola Bunny!
  • Men are chumps
  • House in 3d Land.
  • On a quest for Michael’s Shoes and Basketball Gear
  • The toons never get any royalties
  • Why are Jordans all over the trophy room.
  • Michael’s wife named their dog Charles…burn
  • Fortune Tellers…they finally gave up by science…and she is correct
  • Stan is taking this very personally.
  • “What kind of Mickey Mouse operation would name their team the Ducks….” huh huh huh. Funny
  • Jordan in his gear.
  • Granny is a cheerleader.
  • Great…no more basketball this season because of a suspected virus.
  • What kind of a timeline are they on for this Basketball competition.
  • Pump up the jam…pump it up….move your body.
  • The boss of Moron Mountain is attending.
  • Riot! The polite meese.
  • Sexy cartoon ladies…how do we feel about that?
  • Daffy never gets the respect (“Let’s all laugh at the duck”)
  • The Aliens have nothing but ringers….the looney tunes have one ringer.
  • Hit ’em high…hit ’em low…
  • It’s hard to imagine being a seasoned actor and doing this much green screen work…I wonder if it hurt or helped Jordan not being an actor?
  • TuneSquad
  • Don’t ever call em “doll” don’t ever call me “dog” don’t ever call me…
  • Sam has guns.
  • Halftime…the time things look their worst in a sports movie.
  • Humans must stink. Newman!
  • Forget inspirational speeches….you need a placebo…
  • Michael’s secret stuff.
  • What did Bugs Bunny put in that water?
  • Pulp Fiction…these are the Jokes folks.
  • The 2nd half comeback.
  • I did not need a tongue out Elmer Fudd.
  • Jordan flew under the radar because he was playing baseball.
  • Why is Marvin The Martian not a bigger part of Space Jam!
  • So now they are breaking the rules to win…like all good sports movies.
  • haha…why did they put granny in a wheelchair
  • Put me in Coach! Stan!
  • A flat Newman. Scary.
  • Looney Tune Land makes anyone flexy.
  • “I didn’t know Dan Aykroyd was in this movie!
  • “Don’t ever trust an earthling.”
  • So all the aliens lost was that they had to give back what they took.
  • Space Jam is a 1996 American live-action/animated sports comedy film..what a small space.
  • Touch the ball…give me my talents. Ball of talent.
  • Nobody wants to touch Michael’s Ball.
  • 7 minutes of credits!
  • and a very short stinger…that’s all Folks

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Dragonheart (1996) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

oh hi,

Come, we have a full day ahead of us my half hearted King. We must make haste! To the horses…But first…let me grab my falcon and buzz Malfoy…Caww Caww.. oh that never stops amusing me. Caww hahaha

and now that the whole motley crew of assholes are here… let us ride down to the Peasant Quarry and harass the blind man and any red heads we come across….isn’t that right Mr. Falcon.. those mean old Red Headed Girls always trying to break our hearts…you would never do that would you Mr. Falcon…no you wouldn’t..

Hey, do you guys know what I haven’t done in a while…had a good old hand wrestling match with a smelly peasant. Say, we should do that tonight….when we get back! In fact…I think I will double down and hand wrestle 2 peasants at once. What’s that Malfoy…uh huh..I can so! Wanna bet? Back me up king.

…and now that is your movie right there. No cgi needed.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116136/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragonheart

TWITTER

Dragonheart (1996) – Learn the Once-Ways of CGI from the 1990s..It’s not the profit…it’s the pleasure…#Yikes

SHOW NOTES

  • This is not Reign of Fire?!
  • Fight with your head…not your heart.
  • Meanwhile down at the castle ruins…a great battle ensues between a handsome man with good teeth and great hair and a pale kid….ok…maybe not great.
  • Mind if I sit and eat while you fight and I drop some sound bytes.
  • The peasants are revolting!
  • This will stop the horse…a burning pile of sticks.
  • I will take on this knight with this pointy tree branch.
  • Uh oh…I have feeling our hero is grooming the real villain
  • 984 AD
  • Oh…you like fire so much…here…let me burn down your roof.
  • ahhh yeah..Village Justice. Mob rule
  • Father is not here right now…Father is dead…good…Die! It’s mine
  • Oh shit…well that was a lame way for the new king to die….oops…oh…maybe he ain’t dead.
  • Maybe a deal with a witch?
  • Dead. The King is dead…and the prince is a little puss. meow.
  • Witness my fine collection of Dragon Bric-à-brac
  • “Your song is sad”
  • Daughter of the Celts
  • The knight is teaching the old code!
  • The king was the Dragonslayer…
  • Give me your sword knight…
  • Learn the Once-Ways
  • A swear on the deathbed
  • The dragon is just going to give him half of his heart!
  • Hold on a second…just gonna reach in my chest and grab half my heart and…uuuuck….dead
  • I want to rebuild this Roman Ruin. It will take many men…but screw ’em.
  • This kid has a face you can hate just by looking at it.
  • I need me one of them half hearts
  • Burn the insolence out of his eyes!
  • No one is above the code! It’s the code! Damnit! It’s the code…now enjoy the smell of my bosom
  • Fast Forward 12 years later…
  • Holy Stones…I’ll Pray…I’ll Pray…I’ll Pray…now let us talk of the Old Code once again.
  • Just a Jackass on a donkey
  • The best things in this movie are the implied things.
  • The Code of Ancient Camelot…finally…the code is defined
  • The king grew up to be a handsome pale man.
  • I am the keeper of the falcon…behold my skill! oh look out..oh oh
  • 12 years and we still haven’t finished this …I mean we aint’ even close.
  • Kara…I can’t see you…but I can smell you.
  • I almost killed you once…shall we dance again.
  • “I’ve always said death was a release and not a punishment.”
  • Now why did the king all posse up just to ride down to peasant town and harass the blind?
  • Stone dragon!
  • Why is he poking the rock dragon with his quill? Does that help it write?
  • Bola a dragon while riding a horse…
  • haha…a dragon that says Yikes
  • Dragon’s tale with pincers
  • Drat…Yikes…
  • Fire loogie
  • He killed the Scarred one…so if he was the last dragon on earth
  • To the groin
  • Quaid is like a toothpick stuck in the wrong way.
  • What is your job father? It is my job to brush the wheat
  • 2 bags of gold in advance.
  • Most profitable dragon
  • The old Code “his blade defends the helpless” “His might upholds the weak” “His words speak only truth”
  • Dragon Soul
  • Brok is finger wrestling?
  • Brok is a man of many skills.
  • One of your 3 dirty daughters.
  • This dragon don’t like the taste of humans
  • Dragons sing when they are happy.
  • You taught me to fight!
  • Hey king…look at my heart! look at it! take a good long look
  • He is in League with the dragon!
  • Sink Sink! Meat Meat!
  • Do the mud people worship those pigs? Will they not eat the swine?
  • Tell us about Dragon Heaven…did you do something worthy.
  • Donate a half a heart…get into heaven
  • Valor! Valor! A visit from King Arthur
  • A knight…Take your oath knight…take it again.
  • Does he have some kind of dragon magic.
  • You and what army…me and my Dragon!
  • ….like a pudding
  • 5 Dragon slayers…how are they Dragon slayers…only 1 dragon is left and Bowen did most of the killing.
  • Retreat to the forest
  • Peasants always be building walls of fire.
  • The monk will not kill…but maim…yes…sure
  • oh…right in the Dragonheart
  • ” are the stars shining tonight?”
  • “How unmotherly of you.”
  • He took a nasty spill
  • The king is a patient freak. He will wait in his room for hours to launch a surprise attack.
  • Kara has a talent for finding trouble
  • Brok got killed by a girl! a girl…there’s a girl in the castle!
  • Rock to the king’s head.
  • The king thinks he’s immortal. Let’s test that theory.
  • The King and Dragon are twinsy’s
  • The one thing we never get to see is the actual Dragonheart.
  • Dragon into the stars…wink
  • Time of Justice and Brotherhood
Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Executive Decision (1996) – Filmsack Show Notes

Intro

Oh hi,

We’re not gonna make it? You are! Seagal Out!

Well Steven, here we are explosively decompressed at 35,000 feet without a parachute again. Now, based on my training the average human should have about 30 seconds of useful consciousness at this height. But, I’m way cooler than the average human…sooo…45 seconds….buuuuut I just wasted 15 seconds of that on a word-math problem or is it math-word problem? Whatever, we have been in worse situations…you are! now focus up Sha-gaul…….Shuh-gal…See-gal…….no it’s Suhgal right? I mean how have I been saying it?…Shuuuguuuh…Ahhh…snap out of it, Whoever you are!

Ya know what…I don’t need useful brains…I’ll just fly the brain…so hee-ya! take that fluffy cloud and that…and this roundhouse kick to your fluffy face. Oh wait…look clouds! Did that experimental bomber pilot just eject from our mission plane! oh ho ho… Hello plot hole here I come. All I have to do is skyfall towards him and take my position on his his lap for a free ride back down to earth.

“Hello fellow American! May I hitch a ride back to mother Russia!” I mean….ah shit..covers blown…quick fly to safety Sea-gull! Cah Cah Cah Cah

Links

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116253/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Executive_Decision

Twitter

Executive Decision (1996) – Like 2 hours of intense zip lining, wire cutting, lights flashing action to get the attention of some while hiding from the attention of others. It’s sweaty work but Leguizamos got to do it.

Show Notes

  • Man this movie is pixelated
  • All Star Cast!
  • Very Military Thriller Music.
  • DZ-5 Russian Nerve Toxin
  • Jim and John wrote this…twins? Predator. Wild Wild West
  • Collins took one…he’s dead…for nothing! no DZ-5
  • 3 months later
  • Gee I wonder if Kurt is going to have to fly a larger plane later on. You are not prepared!
  • Flying anxiety. Relax and Fly the Plane. Stick and Rudder
  • What a weird side flash on the Jaffa Terrorist Wedding Napping.
  • 15 years of unrestrained Terrorism.
  • 6 months later.
  • Movie planes ridiculously large on the inside
  • Overhead luggage. Stupid Woman!
  • Sweaty Terrorist are prone to blowing up and sweating
  • Oceanic Airlines
  • Gun Reassemble
  • QA Has Bathroom Face Wash
  • These Terrorist look like Terrorist
  • I like calling the embassy and playing pre-recorded threats.
  • Hide my gun in my sock.
  • Circle that US Marshal…circle him!
  • Where is the Passenger Manifest…You destroyed it?
  • Sucking on Twizzlers and scrubbing audio.
  • Remember Guys…this is a think tank….we get paid to think
  • We do not negotiate with Terrorist…unless we do.
  • Do we like London that much…enough to negotiate. Is the President in London?
  • So we got this crazy plan. Let’s spend 20 minutes of the movie with some nut ass stunt to dock on a commercial jet with a stealth fighter and let’s let Seagal lead it and Kurt wear a tux and tag along.
  • So Allison died from the Million Dollar Baby death
  • This whole plan relies on a clip
  • How many wind shears happen while doing some crazy ass maneuver
  • Why is Cappy so damn heavy?
  • OMG Seagal died in most spectacular fashion.
  • I kind of like that Seagal held out for a better more heroic death
  • Castle Rock. Big Eye Six. Hail Mary.
  • Top 2 are dead in the team replaced with 2 non-supposed to be theres.
  • Shh…double finger sssssh
  • We only have part of our equipment
  • Whispering in the belly of the plan…time for a heated power struggle
  • Photo from 25 years ago…but I would recognize his voice…and know if I saw him.
  • Co-Pilot saw Americans…Soldiers…ignore this cut and bump on my head.
  • Yep. Still dead.
  • I traveled all this way to lay on the cold floor with a broke neck. That’s why I get paid the big bucks.
  • uh oh Velma…ya dropped your glasses
  • What is the in flight movie? Looks like Kurt Russel and a Monkey.
  • The Barefoot Executive (1971) Ha.
  • They have enough nerve gas to wipe out half of the eastern seaboard….time to just blow up the plane.
  • Scooting up and down the tube of a plane like some kind of Leguizamo Rat
  • How nice of them to include the captain with the bomb research
  • Why not just eject the bomb…lose pressure…
  • All the tech guys in this movie have oral fixations.
  • Whatever you do…don’t look into his eyes…his dreamy dreamy eyes…OMG I LOOKED INTO HIS EYES!
  • I need me a laser wire cutter
  • This operation has too many rookie factors
  • Red Handled Dikes?
  • Cappy
  • Coughing Cappy Death
  • Yaffa is Freeee…Free Yaffa for all!
  • 1:22:22 .. It’s an executive decision now.
  • 2-1 K…21 K!
  • The bomb wiring is a decoy…what else is a decoy
  • The under bomb has laser beams (Photo something beams)
  • The president is out of the country
  • This is more wire cutting than I had signed on for
  • Least fun game of Operation every
  • Also, way too many flashing lights in this movie.
  • Haha…wardrobe change.
  • Kurt Russel slowly morphs
  • The look of surprise on the sleepers face…priceless
  • Who Bye Box of Diamonds
  • When is this morphine supposed to kick in.
  • They are totally NOT in control
  • Whats wrong..FLAPS!
  • I love that Russel is announcing everything he is doing while trying to figure it out.
  • Shit…landing gear down.
  • Just fly the plane.
  • Just land the plane
  • Hey..my landing field!
  • hey…thanks…a chewed up coffee stirrer.
Categories
Filmsack Notes Thoughts

Eraser (1996) Show Notes

Ticket

Eraser (1996)

R | | Action, Drama, Mystery | 21 June 1996 (USA)

 

[usr 4.0]

Intro: Oh hey, You’re early…what’s that? Was I just upstairs taking a revenge poo in your toilet and now wiping my poo hands on your towel? C’mon Lee…I’m Daryl the bad ex-boyfriend and I am only here to do one thing… and that is to get railed to that wall in 3…2….1… ouch.

And now for a very important PSA….Hello Young Ladies,  let me talk down to you for a minute.  If you break up with a boy…get your keys back…Don’t let a revenge poo happen to you.

 

IMDB

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116213/

 

Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eraser_(film)

 

YouTube Trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31_OEhX30sY

 

Twitter: Eraser (1996) – Time to pucker up, here comes some bad James C(aan)PR…mmm…Funyuns.

 


 

Notes:

 

This is how you tie a boot

 

Fore Finger…middle finger

 

Time to burn the Birth Cert.

 

Blade in the belt buckle…will it be used!

 

Every time I see a doctor’s glove I think of prostate exam

 

This music is pretty awesome so far.

 

Meanwhile…in suburbia

 

Nobody hits from us Johnny…

 

So the subtle Frank Sinatra in the background makes me think they are implying these guys are mafia connected…isn’t that right…Vinnie.

 

That is one big ninja

 

Shutup! Do it!

 

Those are some mighty light corpses. You ever tried to put up somebody? There is a reason they call it dead weight.

 

Right…Those son’s of bitches.

 

Why wouldn’t it work without an audience? This isn’t filmsack…you don’t need an audience to your house blowing up.

 

Apparently you only get erased once. That’s company policy.

 

I didn’t ask you which one was fake…I asked you which one was real…jack ass.

 

Just going to drag these photos from the “used to been” to the “is now”  screen.

 

A bonified good person.

 

Stupid corrupt Cyrez corporation

 

Broach cam! 

 

Oh…a blackout.

 

This is how I image Redbox functions on the inside.

 

Do I have time to make another copy? sure…why not.

 

Boss blows his brains out in front of you. Cheap trick.

 

Man…Arnold is so sanctimonious in this movie.

 

This disc is blushing.

 

What do you think your Dell from 1996 is going to be able to do to decrypt your redbox disc.

 

Damnit Daryl…You just let yourself into my house when I’m not here…did you take a shit and shower in my bathroom? see Daryl…this is why we broke up…no boundaries.

 

TSA Gun

 

ahh man…I was just about to pull the trigger…then a car pulled up…I guess I better wait…ooh balloons!

 

This rail gun is the balls!

 

Am I playing Quake right now? Pew Pew Pew…Rocket Jump!

 

Ha! The household refrigerator…protector of the innocent.

 

Drill bit gernade! My favorite thing.

 

Analog thermostat and a ripped gas line out of the wall..that is going to work. Eventually…

 

Nooo…not Daryl…

 

Hey Daryl…”Stick Around” – I couldn’t resit.

 

Reporters always make it worser.

 

Undersecretary…what is an under…secretary.

 

Have you ever tried to break a disc…it’s impossible.

 

Don’t burn plastic…the ozone is crying

 

This is turning into The Equalizer…I don’t want any payment…I want your loyalty…

 

This movie is offensive to women. Actually, it’s offensive to human beings. This credit card is for emergencies only…it’s not a license to shop…cause I know you women like that.

 

Orphans? that’s a restaurant? Orphans?

 

I make this cup of coffee look small…do you guys have a smaller cup?

 

Are these chumps with you?

 

Shiff and I’m Calderone..

 

Peeled her like and onion. mmmm…

 

John Crew-Garrr

 

A weapon for every orifice. 

 

Allison is inside making muffins. (women are puny)

 

That is not how CPR works Caan….CAAAAANNNN…

 

What a world what a world what a world….kissed to death by James Caan.

 

1996…this is early on cheap bottled water.

 

No John…don’t beep her…that is exactly what they want.

 

 

You do not want to throw a chair into the engine of the jet you are riding in.

 

Oops…threw my parachute…guess I better go get it.

 

Well that was easy enough.

 

oh man..did that hurt? That had to hurt…I saw it.

 

Is that how backup chutes work?

 

Nothing worse than your mentor betraying you. He knows all of your tricks.

 

Arnold did not get to drive even one nice car in this movie.

 

Somebody got to beat up those teenagers with the zoo animal harassment sticks.

 

What kind of Secret Handshake ends with you shooting me in the leg!

 

You expect me to believe there is a Black Guy Named Bob Who Owns A Tow Truck and Junk Yard in Upstate New York? Is that the story you are weaving?

 

Alligators…am I right! That was one cool ass scene…never happen…but…shit…that was good graphics for 96

 

You’re Luggage! That wins the movie…I can turn it off now. Done.

 

No gay bar has ever been this gay.

 

Where did you get this cheap knock off shit…Ultra Seltzer? Did you pick these up in Utah?

 

Movie security guards are only confounded by Pizza Deliveries and Janitoring. 

 

Defibbing is a fun party game.

 

Electronic door locks are easily bypassed  by shooting them.

 

It’s a unix system!

 

The human gernade. It’s really the worst way to go.

 

Quick! To the roof! I have a helicopter there…we will fly away!

 

Tony Two Toes! Oddly…he got 3 toes. But Three toes is just stupid

 

That rail gun is sweat! Man I want to play me some FPS games.

 

Did he just Rambo up out of the floor? Yep… Two guns!

 

Typical Russian Mafia.

 

Typical Italian Mafia…the lesser of the 2 evils.

 

Damsel in distress…check.

 

I was literally yelling at the screen by the end of this movie..this movie has great timing and music…made my butthole pucker.

 

Damnit John…you dropped a crate on me. I should be dead.

 

Hello…? Ohhhh…we are on the train tracks!!!

 

Won’t someone please think about the train engineer.  Stop using trains to exact your revenge. It’s inefficient.

 

Going downtown…gonna blow you all away