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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Poltergeist (1982) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

… grab your bags and sort your goodies while we spin you a Tale from the Sack:

Well Mr. and Mrs. Freeling we have some good news and some bad news…. The good news is we believe your daughter is still alive somewhere in the walls of your home…the bad news is she is being held there by a Poltergeist. What’s that Marty? I thought you said it was a Poltergeist…Well what did you say? A Poltergeese? What the hell is a Poltergeese Marty? It’s like a Poltergeist but instead of a disembodied human spirit it is a collection of goose spirits that can not find peace to move on into the light? A Poltergeese….. gee Marty, you’re fired.

Unless….Mr. Freeling….didn’t you say this spot, where your home is built, used to be the city park? But they moved the park 5 miles up the road right Mr Freeling. Right….

 Oh You son of a bitch! You moved the park, but you left the geese, didn’t youYou son of a bitch, you left the geese and you only moved the park benches and slides!

Carol Anne…if you can hear me…grab some bread from the cupboard and lure the Poltergeese to the light! The light is good Carol Anne! The light is good.

and now for something really evil. Randy.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084516/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poltergeist_(1982_film)

TWITTER

Poltergeist (1982) – We don’t go into the room anymore, it has a clown.

SHOW NOTES

  • That thing is in there with my Baby!
  • Please all rise for the national anthem.
  • that concludes today’s programming…zzzztttt
  • Am I suppose to be seeing alien faces?
  • Yeah…don’t fall asleep watching TV or the dog will eat your sammich and go make out with your wife and possibly steal your kids chips. This doggie is food shopping once they are asleep.
  • She is talking to the TV! What do you look like? Talk louder. I can’t hear you.
  • Hi. Yes. I will. I don’t know…I touch your TV face.
  • Just some suburbs at the bottom of some hills.
  • To Bike and Beer. Stupid RC cars. Nailed it
  • Beer spray football.
  • Ah shit Tweety….couldn’t you wait till a school day.
  • My neighbor is on the same remote? Universal remotes. A Remote Control showdown.
  • Is she really going to flush a bird…bad form mother…bad form.
  • Which Rams football team is this?
  • King Edwards Imperial Cigar Box…Tweety don’t like that smell…put a flower in it. Polaroid for when he is lonely…and a blanket for when it’s nighttime…he ded!
  • A Storm is brewing.
  • Ha, the dog is licking his lips…gonna totally dig up and eat Tweety.
  • Ebuzz the dog?
  • “Can I have a goldfish now?” Answer…yes.
  • That tree is all kinds of evil.
  • Tweety 2 and Tweety 3 want seconds…and they are going to grow up to be sharks when you over feed them.
  • Lights out…Closet Light…Closet Light.
  • Geez Star Wars…product placement much?
  • Am I crazy or am I dead? He is dead.
  • Ha! They are smoking doobs.
  • Mom is implying she had powers / sleep walking when she was 10.
  • He is Reading about Reagan and she is smoking pot.
  • We want a pool…3 meter board. 10 feet
  • Who the hell has a kidsized clown in their room…these kids…cover it up!
  • His Daffy Duck pillow talk is some dirty talk.
  • His company built this neighborhood…next to the wise old tree…it knows I live here.
  • Good night Dana…get off the phone Dana
  • Ha! Cut to kids in the bed with the parents.
  • 2:37 AM is sign off
  • Smokey static hand!
  • It is in the house! It’s in the walls.
  • “They’re here.”
  • No not Tweety! He is in the wall!
  • E.Buzz is a junk food junky
  • Chew your food 10 times.
  • Who is here? The TV People.
  • “Ask Dad…Ask Dad…Ask Dad”
  • Now she is just watching Static.
  • The Spoon and Fork are bent up
  • Construction people are sexist trash.
  • Static is no good for you…here…watch some violence.
  • E. Buzz wants to play with the people in the wall…
  • Good lord…Bluto and the gang are trash…eating food in the windows.
  • TV people stack these chairs?
  • Do you see them . No huh…you? uh huh
  • Phase 1 to Phase 4. They look the same.
  • “The grass grows greener on every side.”
  • Reach back when you used to have an open mind…before you became a stiff.
  • Woo wooo! I want pizza
  • Oh great…now she is using the kid! It burns…needs more wax.
  • The tickling pulls you…
  • what a hard cut to the neighbors house.
  • Mosquitoes never suck on the neighbor. Tathill? Ben.
  • They got the Mosquitoes.
  • Count the lightening strikes…it is getting closer!
  • That tree is alive!!! It took the boy!!
  • Meanwhile….The closet wants you.
  • There is a tornado!
  • So does it prey on your fears? Tree for the boy? Closet for the girl? Clown for all of us?
  • Holy shit…I don’t recall the tree eating the boy.
  • That tree Ent got sucked up.
  • The swimming pool! the 2 foot of swimming pool.
  • Mom!!! Mommy….Carol Ann is in the TV!
  • We don’t go into the room anymore.
  • It was a child’s toy. Took 7 hours to cross the room…
  • uh huh…
  • Tie Fighter!
  • Stephen has missed work…but not a beer.
  • Poltergeist vs Haunting. – Usually associated with an individual. Haunting is an area. Poltergeist are short in duration vs long term haunting.
  • We hear better on this channel.
  • Mom has adjusted well. Daddy is a drunk and Daughter is losing her mind.
  • Stay away from the light…the light is dangerous…stay the f away from the light.
  • Mommy, there is somebody here.
  • Jewelry dump.
  • She ran through me…and now I smell her…she went through my soul.
  • I wonder what they smell like after the monster ran through them?
  • Something took a bite out of me in the kids room. It’s them durn goldfish…they got sucked up into the other side and they are sharks now.
  • Outer Space…or Inner Space.
  • This is like 10 minutes of whispering.
  • This kid just came up with the plan…tie a rope on me.
  • Grandpa’s spirit is invisible.
  • But you said to not walk into the light!
  • Some people die…but they don’t know they have moved on.
  • Resist the light! Watch TV. Watch their friends grow up…get jealous.
  • Oh…and some people just get lost on the way to the light…they get angry and throw shit.
  • Geez man…workers ain’t afraid to eat your food.
  • This guy about to eat my chicken and make my steak. f this guy
  • Meat splosion and maggots
  • if your face starts falling apart…how about not pulling on it.
  • This movie really brings horror home. Up until this point horror was in castles and apartments…not in Suburbia
  • Look at all those lonely souls…TAXI!
  • Please not on 60 minutes…or That’s incredible.
  • She drank it all…a whiskey drink…
  • Leaving Ryan…cause Marty is out!
  • Jesus Steve you are looking like shit.
  • What you got screwed in that…300 watt bulb?
  • He claims the Flu.
  • “sounds quiet…yep…no problem…BOOOM!”
  • Oh great! Carol Anne was born in that house…she is haunted!
  • Starting Phase 5! Nooooo!
  • It ain’t ancient tribal burial ground
  • in 76…right down there…we relocated the graves.
  • Nobody has complained until now…except the Poltergeist!!
  • “Y’all mind hanging back? Ya jamming my frequencies.” – Lady
  • She has cleaned many houses…
  • “I am addressing the living.”
  • “This house has many hearts.”
  • “The last incident of Bio Location”
  • Will you do what I ask even if it conflicts
  • There is no death…just transitions to a sphere.
  • Carol Ann’s life force gives off it’s own lumination. Life home and earthly pleasures.
  • Carol Ann is a terrible distraction from the real light.
  • These souls are not aware that they are dead.
  • Inside the spectral light is the next phase.
  • She can only hear her mother’s voice
  • Hold on…shit gonna be bad.
  • A terrible presence is in there with her…it is angry..pissed.
  • It lies to her. Using Carol Ann to restrain the other to her…it is just another child. To us…it is the beast.
  • The beast is so pissed it punched a hole into this world and took Carol Ann
  • Can you say hello to Daddy?
  • Quickly….who is Carol Ann most afraid of…Tell her she is going to get a spanking…be firm.
  • Tell her to go to the light! Run to the light? But you said to not go to the light!
  • You little bastard.
  • Stephen, give me the tennis ball marked number 1
  • Do not sniff the tennis ball…grote.
  • Kiss my Ass…Number 2.
  • Now tell her to not go into the light! 1 2 3 Red Light…
  • throw the rope into the light.
  • Take up the slack….take up the slack! gently
  • You have never done this before…you are right…you go.
  • No time for smooches…
  • Pull only when I say!
  • Cross over children…go into the light…there is peace and tranquility in the light.
  • Dangit Peter!!
  • Get them into the water!! they got to be reborn…
  • She gonna be alright.
  • I feel funky.
  • Who put bubbles in the bath water.
  • This house is clean!
  • Holiday Inn on I74
  • Mom has gray hair now
  • Carol Ann does not remember anything.
  • We are leaving tonight. Take a nap.
  • I would not even take a nap in that house
  • that e.buzz dog is a pervert.
  • If he hates that clown so much…why keep it around.
  • Clown gone. I’m gone.
  • They still got a lot of packing to do.
  • Wiggling on the ceiling!
  • From bad to worse…she mud wrestles he way right into the pool pit.
  • They didn’t move the bodies…they just moved the gravestones! You cheap bastards!
  • The neighbors are not interested in helping but so far.
  • Your closet turned into a throat
  • Robby really is the worst.
  • These explosive caskets!
  • You son of a bitch…you only moved the headstones! Whyyyy!
  • Do not scream at the driver.
  • Daddy…drive away…leave oldest sister.
  • that was the angriest house
  • slurp…
  • TV on a cart…out. Holiday Inn
Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Zapped! (1982) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi Chachi, Sorry I didn’t see you there.

Now I would like to read my poem about something that’s pretty important to me and that I get really confused about a lot. It’s called “Chachis.”

Chachis, sometimes I feel like I’m so much above ’em and sometimes I feel like I’m so much below ’em. Sometimes I hate ’em and sometimes I love ’em (hold on a sec. I’m having a puberty fueled fantasy about boobies. Oh yeah..) now where was I…right…Sometimes I hate ’em and sometimes I love ’em but if I was a caveman, I think I’d just club ’em.

Oh c’mon! Don’t boo the Cooter. You know the Gary Cooter is all about the love! Now hand me my trapper keeper. I got a raging puberty Cooter Boner that I need to hide. Oh hi Scatman.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084945/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zapped!

TWITTER

Zapped! (1982) – First comes the woman and then the whiskey and then the unfiltered tweeting. My old lady won’t let me have salami.

SHOW NOTES

  • Oh hi, I didn’t see you there Chachi
  • God Bless Merica!
  • Zapped! Lightening!
  • Schools out
  • That rat is scuba and anatomically impossible.
  • Come on Edgar! All the rockstars love this stuff!
  • School wants to know the effects of alcohol on divers.
  • He has the Ultra Grow Formula
  • Coke Bottle glasses.
  • “You know what you need? A girl!”
  • Oh…boys will be boys.
  • Yay! It’s the Ralph Waldo Emerson High Penguin Cheerleaders for the baseball team…
  • That band…they are pure comedy gold…especially the trumpet guy.
  • Gary Cooter! It’s Gary Cooter and the band
  • The Baseball team is winless.
  • Rabbit Doo-Doo.
  • Oh Peyton…your camera is a metaphor for your penis
  • Scatman!
  • haha…Scatman gonna drop some super gro into the Cannabis
  • The Devil’s Double Wammy. Women and the Booze.
  • No salami, no weenies.
  • Then a little beer.
  • Radioactive Spider….no! Beer, Cannabis and Super Grow….you been zapped.
  • Time for the comedic music.
  • ‘Barney Bonehead’ retort ‘Up Yours’
  • Roll up his sleeves…check between his toes.
  • This was something my parents did.
  • Alvie did it and his dummy.
  • Specializing in Botany.
  • She sure is pushy…ladies shouldn’t be pushy! We all knew that in 1982 because it was still 1950s US
  • Gary Cooter has no room to make fun of Mrs. Burnfart. and your 4th year as a senior.
  • It’s called Chicks and this is my Gary Cooter song.
  • The ladies boo the Cooter.
  • Barney Boner don’t call on me
  • All you need is a good opening line
  • Ouch…Barney go with your mice.
  • Tee Winkle College (Rob Robert)
  • Nerdy Botanist and his rich unpopular friend
  • haha…the closed captions says [zapping]
  • Is thought sweeping easier than real sweeping…it looks harder to me.
  • Triumphal Music
  • oh snap…he broke her 5 glasses and now she is an 10
  • There was an explosion that knocked me out and I came to and didn’t think anything of it.
  • And now the circle of trust is created. The fellowship is created.
  • Relaxo Prune Juice and Rum.
  • Spam with Cream sauce.
  • Zapping…
  • I has Telekinesis and I can phase stuff
  • Haha…they have glitter Nike Swooshes on their space uniforms.
  • Poor Alvie…eh don’t deserve this.
  • His mom is a monster and his dad is a chump
  • Edgar has it too…the Zappinging. You little shit.
  • Well we have established that Edgar has long term effects of the Zapping and will probably get sick or die first?
  • Alan take your fingers out ya noise…now suck it!
  • Nathan ‘Too Mean” Levine…tha brute keeps rubbing his crotch.
  • Look at me…my bat is a penis!
  • I have never understood mooning.
  • The best way to hassle ladies is to expose their boobies.
  • The principle can’t access the lab!
  • Burning Pot to dispose of the evidence is never a good idea.
  • Trope Sex Comedy “Overheard conversations are always mistaken for sex talk”
  • My old lady won’t let me have Salami and chili dogs.
  • Help Me Mr. Einstein
  • You ugly Spasm
  • High School Popular girl is always dating the College Dude
  • Freddie is Robert’s older brother who went to Africa on Safari and married a Pygmy Girl
  • Drink a 12 pack a piece and try not to puke on the spinning teacup ride.
  • …Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me..
  • Fighting with your Zap powers.
  • Barney is always trying to eat something.
  • Robert is taking me to Hawaii for graduation.
  • Peyton is playing Jane like a fiddle.
  • Jane has got to see all the lady pics on the wall and know this guy is a creep.
  • Weiner food is referenced a lot in this movie. Wonder Weiner.
  • Bernadette had 3 crushes a year
  • Mom and her cross
  • We need a music montage…here…here…and here
  • This is a more intimate moment that I wanted to see
  • Excuse me as I slip under the table
  • He grew a conscience
  • Flying Roulette Wheel of science!
  • First come the woman and then the whiskey – Scatman logic
  • Tranquilize your kid!
  • “I think I’m going to throw up.” retort “That is one of Satan’s favorite lines.”
  • This is Heaven Prom Theme.
  • Revenge Porn in 1982
  • Watermelon to the head
  • Let’s get naked…..This is hilarious…let’s get naked! This got all Rape-y real quick.
  • A chemical reaction to get zapped powers and then a physical hit to remove them…nope…he was just kidding.
  • The rise of a new superhero? Nope…use your powers for exploding clothes.
  • How the hell was Gary Cooter and band not the band at the prom.

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

The Beastmaster (1982) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

What’s up my Witches! Oh I am sorry did I startle you horrible hags. It’s just me the high priest Ma-Axe and now perhaps you understand how I feel when I run into one of you in the middle of the night while on urgent poo business. I haven’t poo’d in a decade! The Truth cannot be changed!

Anywho, What are we working on today my coven of ugly? A passion potion? Tell me more! A brew that turns you from horrible to hot! I …am …listening! Oh…but you ran out of “cow placenta” and you only have enough to either make you hot up top or hot down below. Hmmm…that is a tough one. Better make it hot bottoms. Oh! are we doing the squirmy dance…You know I love the squirmy dance. Yeah…this is going to be so much better after the potion. I can’t wait.

Alright, I’m heading out. Oh yeah…if you are heading to the lower levels today, we left the ankle grabber flaps open. So, be high stepping or lose a foot to the death guards. Toodles. The Truth cannot be changed!

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083630/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beastmaster

TWITTER

The Beastmaster (1982) – I have my eyes, I have my cunning and now I have my strength….Now if I just had a sandwich What… Nooo..not the village baker! and his baker’s paddle…burnt up! nooo…I have nothing

SHOW NOTES

  • The BeefyMaster
  • Eek! Big cat! Bird! another bird! yet another bird! Black Tiger? angry eagle. Who’s nature slideshow did we get suckered into watching.
  • Meanwhile in ancient something or another…
  • Door go up!
  • Oh look…a tiny pyramid.
  • 1 black and 2 red robes.
  • Oh goody…I was hoping there would be ladies squirming around a pot.
  • RIP TORN! is he a vulcan?
  • Oh no!
  • You will die at the hands of Zed’s unborn son.
  • Those witches should work on their faces.
  • “I hear you are working on a child sacrifice…” now..go away…go hang out with the barbarians.
  • OMG…that nose on Rip Torn.
  • I don’t believe Rip Torn believes you.
  • Hey…you seen my 2 suicide monks? I’m pretty sure they are hanging around here somewhere…oh there they are.
  • Why is JJ’s dad hanging out with the fanatics
  • Everybody is either ugly in this movie or …no they are all ugly.
  • Just gonna sneak into your room at night and bring my brahma cow…oh…and I brought my radioactive goop as well.
  • That baby wants out of your belly…no your unborn child is ours now…and it’s in my cow belly.
  • Poor cow…why didn’t the witch just cut it out of the mommies belly…seems like an unnecessary step.
  • Man…that witch can build a fire…I mean that thing is huge.
  • Krull to the back! Kappa?
  • She ain’t there.!
  • Slow pan up…yeah…look at them legs…ahhh yeah…and those thighs …and breasts and OMG!
  • I guess that baby had one last trick
  • Free babies!
  • Hey village! Look what I got! New Life! Smell it!
  • 10 years later…time to f with the other villagers…Johnny Appleseed style
  • This bear is angry! No worries dad…I go the dead eye…look at me bear.
  • Hey boy…never tell anyone about talking with the animals thing.
  • The gods put a mark on your hand…so suck it up beloved.
  • Tell the village…Fortis…he dead.
  • “Yar…it is fixed…hiyaa!” Father is kind of a dick…always challenging the young bucks…stabbing witches in the back…stealing babies…rubbing the fact he has a new baby in the face of the other villagers.
  • Uh oh…a dust cloud…it can only mean one thing…
  • A line in the sand…We have been waiting a long time for this…come on old man…and that was pretty anticlimactic…all that posturing…and insta-death
  • “What should I do during the pillage? run through the village with my booby hanging out…sure thing.”
  • “Hey that guy…he looks like my scar..I must kill him!”
  • Noooo! they shot the dog! not the dog!
  • I love how Rip Torn shows up and looks amused.
  • Pillage the village!
  • I get clubbed and now I am the 3 eyed raven.
  • Well why didn’t you see your dead dog talker of animals?
  • I suppose in hindsight…perhaps we should have kept all the explosives in the village.
  • Nooo..not the baker! and his baker’s paddle…who will make the bread pudding!?
  • Ok…that’s it…I’m taking my dead dog and getting the hell out of here.
  • It’s the hero’s journey…They killed everything I loved!
  • Alright…time to burn these bodies that didn’t burn during the village fire…these dead villagers are really flammable!
  • I am the Hawk…following me and find your destiny! now quickly…you must run to the top of this hill and yell and swing around this small tree…You are a self taught warrior…now talk to the birds!
  • Dad’s sword! hey this is way better for swinging around than that small tree I cut down.
  • Run and Sword…squat…run and sword…squat
  • Now what are those weasles/ferrets gonna do with that gear?
  • Oh no! Quicksand! It’s the deadliest of sands.
  • Listen to my mind powers you little beasts
  • Saved ya! Now you owe me a life debt. Kodo and Podo my pocket friends…now get in there.
  • Hey guy…yeah guy..let’s tie this black tiger of the desert up and f with him…well that sounds like a good use of our time. Hey…I’m surprised we have lived that long.
  • Caw! Caw!
  • Ahh yes…this pleases The Beastmaster…I nod my head in satisfaction.
  • I have my eyes, I have my cunning and now I have my strength…your name is woo? Now let’s us until we see some naked ladies bathing and then we shall woo them with our cunning.
  • “Let’s swim with our tops off! How about bottoms off…no! Just tops and we only go in waist deep! OK!”
  • You owe me your life…but I will take this molestation as my payment. I am Dar…I am no threat to you.
  • Jin Horde?
  • Let’s get frisky! Slave to the priestess.
  • I see why as a 12 year old boy I liked this movie.
  • What is this place? This soup is people!
  • Are these ancient vampires? Cause I think that dude in the cave was safer in his cage.
  • Oh these bat people worship the bird…back off!
  • So the beastmaster popped into the bat peoples tree and got a guy killed but collected his loot all the same.
  • That miniature city sure is close to the camera
  • This music sounds like BSG
  • There is still meat on that skeleton’s goot…gross.
  • The Beastmaster is always falling into viscous materials
  • Don’t touch the pony!
  • Hey high priest…that kid is kind of old for a sacrifice.
  • Why would you bring your kid of a kid sacrificing party?
  • No no..let’s see where this is going. Maybe he won’t throw the kid in this time.
  • Strong Hawk…so strong he can carry kids
  • Confused Rip Torn is the best Rip Torn.
  • I returned your kid…now you owe me a life debt
  • Here…take this eye ring! it will lead you to him.
  • Kill him now…but he has a black tiger!!
  • So is he controlling the tiger or is he just watching.
  • Nooo! not my kitty.
  • Hahaha…
  • Face an animal on it’s on terms
  • Ohh…now he owes a debt!
  • Look I am The Beastmaster…I ain’t the LogMaster…want to give me a hand here.
  • Know what’s easier…movie a log while not eye locked with a stranger
  • Life is a circle…I am sure we will see each other again.
  • Seth thinks stuff is funny…until it is not…he has the best turn.
  • Let’s have a conversation and negotiation of travel
  • I can see through the eyes of the beast and know their thoughts and they can see through my eyes and know my thoughts.
  • These are my thieves…now by all means…go to sleep with your trinkets left unattended. Yoink
  • This ring has eyes!
  • Oh…has my vision squatting awoken you? Apologies, sometimes I must express my colon during meditation.
  • Priests in Red and Ladies in white means sacrifice!
  • She’s no slave…she is my cousin.
  • These priests do not talk…but they do have balls.
  • Quickly…we must flee! Pull the rope faster!
  • This greatly amusing Seth…Seth is amused.
  • The reluctant cohort hero…this kid is always napping…
  • This movie has a lot of ass cheek
  • First you must ride in the hay ride of deadly allergies…then you must pass the leg grabbers…and boy do they love to grab legs. then over the death guard making hole and use your ferrets to fish out the keys…but be careful…then past the secret Trill changing room….and onto the totally not suspicious unlocked room
  • So Zed had a kid after
  • Man that witch is tall and can climb a wall.
  • Suck it witch…I have the eye of the tiger!
  • “Can you walk? Yeash”.
  • I am so angry! I am a Death Guard! I hate everything! Especially legs…
  • …and finally to escape…just head out the hole under the giant skull…easy pleasy.
  • haha….the cave skull lever wheel is stuck
  • I am not totally convinced The Beastmaster has any strength. He seems to have trouble with a lot of strength challenges.
  • Death Guard in the Hole!
  • Why does The Beastmaster have the ability to communicate with the Bird but occasionally he will need to do the bird scream.
  • There they are…my little nut biters. Let’s go!
  • Does that door have a counterweight?
  • Blind Dad. I need no coward by my side!
  • Just goes to show you…it takes more than sperm to be a dad.
  • “Go crawl down a hole with your animals.” Owee…words hurt sperm donor dad.
  • This eye ring can also hear?! or does he also have an ear necklace?
  • oh chit…Set done saw you.
  • Beastmaster you are our only hope.
  • There is always a lot of talk of Sacrifice at sunrise…sunset…just get on with it. Are you worried about attendance? It’s too hot at noon?
  • Down the dirt path littered with bodies on pikes.
  • Ropes are no match for these rodents.
  • Rip Torn and his Skull Hair clips
  • Witches be like that…they turn their back to you and then flee.
  • Nooo…the sacrifice was too great! Kodo is dead! or is it Podo
  • Now I must rub my face on my ferret
  • Hurry…make the moat look like…
  • Hey…why is the beastmaster just chillin on the pyramid.
  • “In my village”…yadad
  • Your explosive mote idea was half baked.
  • Man…every time she puts on clothes something is always trying to take them back off again.
  • You have activated Seth Frenzy…back the F up.
  • The Yar king is not the best swinger
  • I fell on my own weapon! Eeek it’s in my back!

Categories
Filmsack Notes Thoughts

Firefox (1982)

INTRO:

Oh Hi, This week’s film may hit a little too close to home. What with us on the verge of Cold War II but I’ll try to get through this with little to no seizures or joy…

Speaking of getting hit. What does it take to get punched in this movie?

Take Eastwood’s cigar. Death by face beating.

Play pocket pool while fondling Eastwood’s papers….Face punching to the death.

Russian pilot flipping on a light switch. That’s a face beating with a side of “hold the death.”

“Your papers are not in order.”

LINKS:

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083943

WIKI: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firefox_(film)

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0S7uE7l_oA

Video Game: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firefox_(video_game)

TWITTER:

Firefox (1982) – Like acting & directing your own 21 Million dollar project & blowing the entire budget on “not so special” effects & bad borscht

SHOW NOTES:

Simple title card. Firefox…left…serif

all the material that was ever made for gray sweatpants was made in 1975 or should I say it was discovered in some cave in South America.

Sweatpant Suit…only accessory…white towel…shoved into collar

Suddenly a Hairy (Harry) Eastwood appears

Trope: The ole reclusive military/special/govt agent who has removed himself from battle is located by army helicopter.

Alaska

Them running shoes is loud. Like somebody on a sound stage

Run forrest! Run! Through the Forrest.

Blow up the bridge!

Are those refuel rods in the front of those copters? They always make me think of some kind of insect sucker.

Time for some Napalm flashbacks!

Fire…fire..

His memories are grainy at best.

He was pretty old for a pilot in Nam right?

So his entire flashback was the time he got shot down and almost carried away and almost killed that poor kid…or did they napalm their rescue?

His POW Files. He was carried across a river in a bamboo cage.

Know what is a bad idea? Surprising a dude who is having flashbacks.

What a couple of pilot jerks…let up your shades

Firefox-pilots

Now we will have a British guy explain what is going on.

A Mach (mack) 5

at 0400 hours on Thursday…

wait…it’s an invisible jet with weapons driven by the mind.

We need you major…to come back

POW…Mother is Russia(n)…and fits the suit and has seizures (freezes up)

We got 3 months to train you.

Fly a plane like the devil himself.

“You are stupid Buckles.”

You will be flying the most advanced war-craft in existence…as soon as you steal it.

“Look at that face. He has 5 pounds of heroin in it?”

Desperate times call for desperate plans.

London baby!

Your Suite Will Be Bugged. You are transporting heroin.

KGB is slow to awaken…but if you wake it up…bam!

Fake mustache grooming is the only grooming i do.

Here you go American Bond…this is your radio…don’t lose it…You afraid of being captured? Here…let me tell you a story of despair and desperation.

Gee…I wonder if the black box will come into play…since we just blew it off…then made it super important.

Nice glasses…did you beat up an old lady for those?

That was tense! They even took his radio apart! Wonder if he has a face full of Heroin.

Moscow Hotel…the only hotel in Moscow. Mockba Hotel…You don’t stay at Moscow Hotel. Moscow Hotel stays at you.

Loudest watch in all of Russia

There is always a Dmitri and Victor in Russia.

This guy has a big forehead

Russians do like their street cleaning machines….at least according to movies from the 80s based on the subject.

Back alley cat in Russia is back alley cat in Russia

Trope: Silly couple walking in the dark. They are always interrupting my Cloak and Daggers.

I didn’t realize vaping was so popular during the 80s

“Never smoke another man’s cigar….get beat with a stick.

A quick sprint and wardrobe change later…and you are staying at the Waldorf

No…No…I got the squirts. No…

“Your Papers are not in order.”

Also, don’t touch Eastwood’s Papers….or get beat with a stick.

Nocturnal Sight Seeing Of Our City

They got KGB for everyone!

“Do you know how to use this? Good…don ‘t use it.”

The KGB is mighty polite

Moscow is curious.

Don’t insult me with your words! Now get out!

Apparently, you can’t beat it out of him. Unless you mean the life. “I didn’t kill him…you pressed me!” Maybe he is dead

That computer was pretty quick on the photo comparison.

We are going to use fire to destroy the Firefox.

Things have gone wrong. So our plan has changed from steal the Firefox to steal the backup Firefox.

“Big ears” are listening

ha! You must think in Russian!

Walk like an American! Talk like an American! Think like a Russian.

Don’t touch Eastwood’s light switch….that’s a beating and slapping….ahhh helll..just a beating

Where did I see him?

Trope: Search parameters. Search every obscure location.

I completed the work 2 hours ago…I’ve just been stalling (Stalin)

Who me? In the pilot suit? nothing.

He’s not going to make it…he made it

Perfect timing…not only did you lose the top secret jet. Your have a high level audience.

Dying in a hanger next to your dead wife…gets to see the American save the day

Dying on a hillside….gets to see the American save the day.

Supposed to be saving fuel…decides to “open it up”

Glad they established the “Black Box” to explain why he is explaining everything while flying…cause he can’t talk to ground control.

Contact Mother 1.

This is his second time seeing “what this baby can do.”

He tired them rockets out. They were like…nope…quiting.

CCCP orange is the new Russian

He’s coming in an awful hurry. He must really know what he is doing…OR HE’S A MORON!

Commence operation “Harmless”

The Russian’s are falling apart. Press Secretary PR nightmare is interfering

Orange balloons! Who’s having the party?

Cliffy…can you steam me a runway?

What you doing? I can’t talk to them. I’m out taking temperature readings or something.

Wave Stewart…Duh…Waaaave

You must think in Russian. Use the force Clint.

FireFox Russian Prime sooked.

A Russian Screaming aaaand roll credits.

Let’s see what these credits can do.

Music was weird

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories
Filmsack Notes Thoughts

Constantine (2005) Show Notes

Ticket

Constantine (2005)

R | 2h 1min | Drama, Fantasy, Horror | 18 February 2005 (USA)

 

[usr 10.0]

 

 

 

Intro: Ok…Yeah…Hello, I’m a bad Keanu Reeves Impression…Woah…and I just crawled back from hell to drop some knowledge about my goody two-shoes doppleganger, the real Keanu Reeves… Excellent…Listen…The man is obsessed with chairs. Like the Red Chair in the Matrix with Morpheus and the pills and the talks. The Jack-In Chair in the Matrix. The Jack-in Chair in Johnny Mnemonic…You are welcome Ibbott…The “Al Pacino is the devil… and a Chair” on the promotional poster of Devil’s Advocate….and That one time on the subway when he gave away his chair. IN REAL LIFE!

If Keanu had a spirit animal it would be a chair. Woah…Excellent

Alright, got to go. Peter Stormare is making chicken and waffles tonight. Hell ya later!

 

IMDB

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0360486/

 

Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constantine_(film)

 

YouTube Trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEa508Xmmio

 

Twitter: Constantine (2005) –

Like a throat punch from Keanu Reeves to get rid of your neck demons. Woah…Excellent…

 

 

Notes:

 

Where you going DC!

 

Durn all the distributor companies just burned in hell

 

Spear of Destiny

 

Stuff goes missing during WWII…cause Hitler was always stealing stuff and hiding it…can he was a jerk face.

 

Dog is scavenger …like man…man dog scavenger.

 

Just gonna bury this hear Nazi flag with Jesus’ death spear

 

this flag matches…which kind of matches my track suit. 

 

Breathing man…is breathing….and dirty…

 

Uh…your hombre done got smashed up. bad.

 

That tea pot has seen better days. Put it to the flame!!

 

Honey….I brought you tea…oh nevermind…I see you done had enough stimulation today.

 

Trope…demons

 

Bottom shot…top shot. long top shot. (worm, bird, higher bird)

 

So much amazing imagery

 

Hey, did somebody call a smoking priest?

 

Time for some exorcism

 

Ahhh…that’s the key….what..you don’t like that?

 

Who stands on a bed asshole.

 

Constantine…asshole.

 

My feet do that sometimes…when the cat attacks them.

 

Constantine throat punch! and I need a mirror…3 feet high…we got a hobbit demon!

 

Chad Crammer asshole…Shia Labouf ain’t so bad…right…

 

The best exorcisms happen on the 2nd floor…everybody knows that.

 

Don’t look asshole!

 

Maybe I should have been more specific…a mirror 3 feet high and only 2 feet wide.

 

It’s Two-Face!

 

Bowl Bowl Bowl…Cocktail Snacks! Bowl

 

I need me a single chain pull blind system…

 

Chain-Smoker-sTine

 

It’s been like a long time since confession.

 

I killed a man today…

 

Room 427

 

A lot of crosses in this movie

 

Isabelle has bad dreams.

 

Pretty sure you shouldn’t be coughing up blood.

 

love these shots.

 

Ha! Constantine thought he was being clever by not holding the door and saying something smart ass…not if I can help it. 

 

Dead Cows! Cows be dropping like flies

 

I need you to get me a moo cup…

 

Screech Beetle…let’s shake his box up.

 

Don’t waste the Dragon’s Breath!

 

Skinny fellow with the fat friend

 

I got wangs!

 

What you think about my surfer hair! Dude looks like a lady! 

 

You can’t earn your way into heaven….

 

You are going to hell for the lives that you took? who he take?

 

Murders!

 

I got the power to rub newspapers…look at my black hands. Does that work with internet sites now?

 

Quicktime player…who uses that.

 

That is one convenient security camera…with audio…

 

The supernatural love using the phone…they don’t know how they work…but they love using them…Hello? who is this….asshole….

 

Damn billboards and their double meanings.

 

Swarm demon got wasted…

 

Papa Midnight is a legend. 

 

Kid…if you say Jon on one more time…I am gonna kill ya.

 

These angels are androgynous

 

No no…things are balanced!

 

Dude…that is gross…finger licking good indeed.

 

Taking it out on the spider. A little smoke in a glass. 

 

Legion or cult…

 

Nobody believes nobody! in this movie

 

Constantine is kind of a bitter dick. So..suck it…I’m releasing our spider smoke.

 

“What if I told you….” speech.

 

I got my feet pot…gonna stick my shoes in it…

 

Do you ever get that burning feeling when you look deep into a cat’s eyes.

 

Demon soldiers gots no skull tops.

 

Hell looks a lot like a Megadeth Album Cover.

 

Priest with a flasher overcoat is the best priest

 

Dodson…we got Dodson here.

 

Do you know how many dead people  are in that morgue. All of them.

 

2 minutes in hell is a lifetime.

 

Dodson here…

 

That dead guy was my friend. He left a symbol in his hand.

 

The Bible in Hell.

 

The devil had a son too…cause he is the devil…and he likes to do it.

 

Fly eye! Brundlefly in my eye.

 

Meanwhile in Mehico…A white guy is carjacked by a demon

 

A lot of shots of no head tops.

 

are those Cthulhu tats?

 

It’s like a baptism that goes horribly wrong.

 

Wait wait wait…you didn’t say nothing about no drowning!!

 

She be coming out of the tub…..

 

Balthazar!

 

What’s in those jars? Was he collecting his own body fluids?

 

Increase in paranormal activity. 

 

Trope…stay in the car…wear this…nope!

 

Fire!…I was born of this.

 

Grandstanding in the demon’s office…

 

Come on Neo…fly after her.

 

Reeves is always looking for a chair…Johnny Mnemonic had the brain chair…Matrix had the Matrix chair…Constantine has the Midnight electric chair.

 

I see you stalking me in your astral body…I choke you!

 

I need me a big ole Van Helsing Style Monster fighting gun.

 

I sure hope they don’t kill my apprentice.

 

Men In Black/ Ghostbusters moment. Get back to your appropriate locations. You are not suppose to be here.

 

Squeeel like a demon pig.

 

They always trying to drown her.

 

You do not want to be the lady who hatches the son of the devil from her giggly belly.

 

Something to fight for! You done killed my Apprentice.

 

Time for me to use my Neo powers!

 

Gabriel is wearing medical bracelets like a fashion statement. Along with white chaps.

 

Got to be a better way than slitting your wrists

 

He is the Devil!! Not a Russian Cosmonaut

 

What do ya want….exteeeeension…

 

How did the devil forget about the sacrifice…

 

Suck it devil.

 

Noooo….looks like there is more work to do here on earth…plus…cancer free. 

 

What did I learn? nothing. 

 

Hide it…like in a Nazi Flag in Mexico…no wait….somewhere better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories
Filmsack Notes Thoughts

Angel Heart (1987) Show Notes

Ticket

Angel Heart (1987)

X  |   |  Horror, Mystery, Thriller  |  6 March 1987 (USA)

 

[usr 5.0]

 

 

 

Intro: Oh hi, ok…I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the movie we just watched. So am suppose to understand that Robert Deniro is the devil… and it’s not Ben Franklin like proposed by Mama Boucher…because…if that is the case…I may have to go rethink some things…

Say..can you guys hold on a sec…getting a call…hey…yeah…no…thank you Mr. devil…yes that WAS the best intro ever…yeah yeah…it’s all yours…see you after the show.

 

IMDB

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092563/

 

Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angel_Heart

 

YouTube Trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTC9Lt3hiWo

 

Twitter: Angel Heart (1987) – Like eating hard boiled eggs with the devil. Nom nom nom…I’m eating your soul right now….it’s good…it’s good.

Notes:

 

Nothing creepy here

 

A classic tale…a cat…a dog…a dead body.

 

Saxomophone! More Sax! Wailing Sax!

 

The mean streets of NY circa 1955

 

Our hero enters…bubble gum and cigarettes.

 

Harold R Angel just like in the phonebook

 

Drawer full of junk

 

Winesap and Macintosh

 

Louis Cyphre

 

He knows where Harlem is.

 

Say I am riding around in a Cadillac. but I should be riding around in a Rolls Royce.

 

Look at them nails. grody.

 

I’m a Hairy Angel.

 

Fans..one is spinning the other is not….must be important.

 

2nd reference to the phonebook…must be important

 

Johnny Favorite

 

Nothing worse than getting Deniro  stuck in your head. you can’t whistle that  shit out.

 

A wallet full of identities.

 

They didn’t have ballpoints back in 43

 

3rd reference to phonebooks and 2nd to ballpoint pens.

 

everything was a lot more cluttered and dirty back in 55

 

mmmm…reusable needles!

 

a pistol in every nightstand.

 

who puts morphine next to the milk!

 

He got in through the mail slot!

 

Harry Angel is a close talker.

 

Hey Harry…you gonna kiss me or question me?

 

Another fan reference

 

The fans shows the flow of air that exists or doesn’t exist in the presence of the devil

 

3rd reference to skeleton keys

 

Why is Harry removing the evidence that the doc killed himself?

 

Deniro is scary

 

I have never seen someone crack an egg that way…man that is annoying.

 

Slugs leave slime.

 

Eggs are the symbol of the soul. Nom nom nomm…eating your soul

 

Superstitious much. Salt over the shoulder and has a thing about chickens

 

Monkey stuffed, eyeballs, some voodoo shit

 

Soul Parade..hey…let’s carry the preacher on a chair.

 

black robe lady. Who is she

 

Man…I see why church’s switched to pews…chairs are dangerous…but that sure was a cool scene

 

The preacher man has one long nail.

 

Sorry I broke up your church parade!

 

Spider Simpson Band

 

Toot Sweet! 

 

The Witch Of Wesley

 

When did matches become hard to light? used to cold do it with your hand.

 

fan!

 

Not Algeres in Africa

 

Nose shields are awesome

 

Scrote scratching info is the best info

 

Don’t be a gazoonie fella

 

awww…Louisiana …bring on the sweat buckets

 

Camels…unfiltered…

 

Excuse me Mr. Angel…could you stop pilfering around with my shit.

 

Oolong tea?

 

Days to read your future.

 

Harry has personal space issues…as in…he doesn’t believe in giving any to other people

 

Mammy has some scary looking shit in her shop.

 

Evangeline poem. 

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evangeline

 

Leaving food at the grave of a loved one…that is a good way to get bugs or zombies.

 

That baby is pure evil

 

Dang chickens!

 

mmm…2 sisters cocktails

 

I’m too big to go hiding under beds

 

Dancing with chickens…my favorite

 

Razor knife

 

Is she humping the dead chicken? blood and dirt mouth….don’t want none of that.

 

FAN!

 

Toots is pretty good with a razor knife

 

Somebody is murdering that saxophone.

 

Mickey Mouse Club…Wednesday…anything can happen day.

 

Is he remembering all of this on his way down to hell?