INTRO
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Oh hi,
This week on FilmSack we dust off an old cybernetic torso from the scrapyard, plug in a billion dollars of CGI, and discover that love, vengeance, and rollerblading can all coexist in the same James Cameron fever dream. Yes, we’re talking about Alita: Battle Angel — the movie where Christoph Waltz adopts a robot daughter, Mahershala Ali does his best fashion-model villain pose in every scene, and Alita herself casually eats oranges, crushes cyborg skulls, and plays murder-sports on her days off.
Anywho, charge your core, sharpen your Damascus blade arms, and remember: if a boy on a trash-bike tells you he’s got a great idea… he does not. He absolutely does not.
Welcome to Iron City. Try not to get harvested.
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BRIEF
Dr. Ido rescues a discarded cybernetic girl from the scrapyard and brings her back to life as Alita, a powerful warrior with no memory of her past. As she discovers her true nature, Alita becomes entangled with bounty hunters, murder-sports, sky-city conspiracies, and the world’s worst teenage boyfriend.
2019 | PG-13 | Sci-Fi/Action | 2h 2m
LINKS
IMDB: Alita: Battle Angel (2019)
Wikipedia: Alita Wiki
Rotten Tomatoes: RT Page
TVTropes: TV Tropes
WHERE TO WATCH
Streaming: [Check availability on JustWatch]
TRAILER/CLIPS
Social Media Post
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Alita: Battle Angel (2019) – The movie where Christoph Waltz builds a teenage robot assassin and somehow she ends up playing future-roller-derby instead of taking over the world.
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SHOW NOTES
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- Iron City: the only place where the cost of living is low but the likelihood of being dismembered is extremely high.
- Christoph Waltz scavenging the scrapyard like he’s browsing a yard sale for robot parts.
- Alita wakes up with huge anime eyes and zero memories — same as half of FilmSack’s protagonists.
- Ido’s parenting style: “Here’s a body I made from spare parts, go have fun.”
- Alita experiences food for the first time and chooses… oranges. Bold move.
- Hugo appears. Red flag number one: he smiles like a man planning a scam.
- Rollerball/ Motorball / Murderball — pick a name, it’s all future roller derby with casualties.
- Every bounty hunter in this movie thinks they’re starring in their own spin-off.
- Vector (Mahershala Ali) runs Iron City like a fashion mogul who accidentally inherited a crime syndicate.
- Jennifer Connelly always looks like she knows something we don’t. Spoiler: she does.
- Alita vs. Grewishka Round One: she gets punted underground like a cybernetic golf ball.
- Ido and his rocket-powered sledgehammer might be the coolest dad moment ever filmed.
- Alita’s Berserker body reveal: she goes from “lost teen” to “final boss armor set.”
- Alita offering her literal heart to Hugo is the biggest teenage red flag in cinematic history.
- The bar fight scene is a perfect example of “don’t mess with a girl who can punch through concrete.”
- Dog dies. Instant villain upgrade for Grewishka.
- Motorball tryouts look like Mario Kart but with more limb removal.
- Nova watching through other people’s eyes like some kind of cybernetic Instagram lurker.
- Hugo’s side hustle stripping cyborgs for cash — definitely not boyfriend material.
- Alita does heart surgery on a rooftop because why not.
- Hugo tries climbing the sky-tube. Absolutely nothing goes wrong except everything.
- The slicey sky-defense ring sends Hugo back down like malfunctioning luggage.
- Alita’s crying scene proves Rosa Salazar acted her heart out behind all that mocap gear.
- The final Motorball stinger promises a sequel that may never exist. Thanks Hollywood.
- Alita pointing her blade at Nova like “I dare you to greenlight me.”
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