Terminator 2

Terminator 2: Judgment Day  (1991)  137 min  Rated R

Terminator 2: Judgment Day is a 1991 American science fiction action film, the second installment of the Terminator franchise and the sequel to The Terminator (1984). Directed by James Cameron and written by Cameron and William Wisher, Jr., it stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Robert Patrick, and Edward Furlong. Terminator 2 follows Sarah Connor (Hamilton) and her ten-year-old son John (Furlong) as they are pursued by a new, more advanced Terminator, the liquid metal, shapeshifting T-1000 (Patrick), sent back in time to 1995 to kill John and prevent him from becoming the leader of the human Resistance against the machines. An older, less advanced Terminator (Schwarzenegger) is also sent back in time to protect John.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terminator_2:_Judgment_Day

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103064/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Opener: And that’s when that stupid kid and his muscle bound robot cuffed me face down on the floor in front of a urinal. Could have chained me to a sink. But nooo…..face down right into the pee pee. Washed my face for 3 hours straight. also, the kid kept calling some dude his mom.

Twitter: Terminator 2 – Unlike the Harry Housen’esq look of the original terminator this 2nd in the series has a sleek polished turd “on the floor next to the toilet” quality to it. ooooh I almost step in that.

about 2 hours in I wanted to self terminate but I can not! push the button. The more you Learn….

I can not self terminate…if you know what I mean…help a robot out.

Stuff I Loved:

1997

Machines have airplanes….drat!! How we suppose to win.

Machines got no ethics…they will try to kill ladies….and kids..whatever it takes!!

Time traveling naked. Probably not a good idea

With all that processing power…the best the future bots can do is…time travel. Program Error!!

It must really be noisy in a terminators head…all those computer computations sounds.

You look about like my size. No he isn’t!

Still don’t understand why clothes can’t time travel.

Man the foster parents were treated like crap.

Sara Conners kind of has a mental hospital fort built in her room.

A boy and his robot. John Connor is annoying.

Pepsi…played by coke.

Nah…a big guy on a bike…that is totally normal…did you give he a picture of your foster child as well? Also, foster care parents of the year.

is there a “bucks” button on ATMs from the early 90s.

Hey, why do you have movie still from Terminator 1 as the only pic of your mom.

Mullets and arcades…early 90s man. what an interesting time.

How did Arnold buy that box of roses to hide his gun in.

You got to remember when we first saw T2…we weren’t sure if Arnold was still the bad guy…

I can actually believe Robot Patrick could run 50 mph

I can drive a semi like a robot patrick

Something about flat faces semis that are super scary to be chased by.

vehicles of the 90s had great suspensions….kind of explody…but great suspensions.

The orderlies in insane asylums are always crazier than the patients. Mind if I taste your face…slurp.

The best parts about Terminator movies is the terminators just keep coming. Robots never tire…same for BSG….

A learning computer….

A boy and his brobot

All I caught was Tequilla. He’s alright by me.

That kid that Arnold picked up by the scruff was pretty good sport about being picked up by the scruff.

The best car I got is the suck.

Why do you cry? I mean…me and the other robots sit around trying to figure that shit out.

When a robot gives you a 5…better buck up.

The terminator was going to be a good dad.

Public Enemy Shirt!!

Dyson!…If we can can destroy the vacuum man then we can prevent the war.

OMG…this kid is annoying

Just about all the parents in this movie suck.

Poor old Gibbens facedown in the bathroom at a stall.

Yo. I got this…I have a programmable card….we can watch some free porn after this.

Who needs a plan when you can walk through walls.

Miles has a great death scene

The number of dumbfounded people in this movie is ridiculous.

If you are the hero. Just go ahead and let someone else drive from the start. Instead of the whole “Here….take the wheel crap.”

 Who are you yelling at? Get the hell out of here…you are up 3 stories in a crane operators booth.

Dangit….hot lava!! Do you know how many times I have lost at robot wars because of hot lava.

Slowly getting beat to death by an i-beam. gotta smart.

Nobody reloads a gun as it was intended in this movie.

All evil can be vanquished in the fires of mordor..

I can not self terminate…if you know what I mean…help a robot out.

The Man From Planet X

 The Man From Planet X is a 1951 science fiction film.  starring Robert Clarke, Margaret Field and William Schallert. It was directed by Edgar G. Ulmer.

A spaceship from a previously unknown planet lands in the Scottish moors, bringing an alien creature to earth near the observatory of Professor Elliot (Raymond Bond), just days before the planet will pass closest to the earth. When the professor and his friend, American reporter John Lawrence (Robert Clarke), discover the creature, they help it when it is in distress and try to communicate with it, but fail. They leave, and the alien follows them home. A colleague of the professor, the unscrupulous and ambitious scientist Dr. Mears (William Schallert), discovers how to communicate with the creature and tries to get from it by force the formula for the metal the spaceship is made of. He shuts off the alien’s breathing apparatus and leaves it for dead, telling the professor that communication was hopeless.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1549920/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_from_Planet_X

Opener: Ok. It’s been a while since I have starred in my own movie…so which one of these ladies gets to sleep with me? Ehhh…ehhh…what…that’s not a thing anymore…that makes me so mad….Gaaaaah…at least I get to star alongside Laurence Fishburne. What…Forrest Whitaker….seriously? I thought that was Laurence Fishburne…are you sure it’s not at least Samuel L. Jackson. Gaaaaah…that makes me so mad…. I want to punch windows instead of rolling them down before shooting. pew pew pew…get in the car….pew pew pew

 

Twitter: The Last Stand – A movie about an old flabby action star trying to stop the lead singer of Foo Fighters from crossing the mexican border…or something like that…I fell asleep after they shot the old guy on the tractor

Sommerton Junction

Stuff I Loved:

dave grohl look alike

Laurence Fishburne just needs to look up and see those zip lines and this would all be over

Orange track suits. Smart.

Hey hippie agent…get over here and tell us what kind of car this is.

Convenience factor

Cartel boy races in South America.

Helicopters are slower than supe’d up Corvettes. Unless they are….then they are…faster

Where is everybody going? Oh….the whole town is leaving.

Gee…I wonder if Mayor douchbag’s car is going to take a bad spill. yep.

Johnny Knoxville…yay…big gun!

Old Man Farmer. take the silver…or the lead.

No time to roll down the window….gaaaaaah….pew pew pew…get in the car….pew pew pew

Nooo…they killed the sweet kid cop!

Great squibs in this movie

Pretty sure if you mow down about 8 cops…they call in the military.

When does Arnold get to use some of his old lines.

Old people don’t give a shit

Welcome to Sommerton Junction…can we please name this town something cooler. I sound like an idiot

Drop the weapon (This one?)

Sweet. MMA fight on the bridge…Old vs. New

Event Horizon

Event Horizon (1997)  96 min  Rated R

Event Horizon is an American science fiction horror film released on August 15th 1997. The screenplay was written by Philip Eisner (with an uncredited rewrite by Andrew Kevin Walker) and directed by Paul W. S. Anderson. The film stars Laurence Fishburne and Sam Neill. It reached No. 1 at the box office in the UK.[2]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Event_Horizon_(film)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119081/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Opener:  I was just having the weirdest dream about dinosaurs and a very condescending Jeff Goldblum or as I like to call him Regular Goldblum….wait a second…was I naked when I entered stasis. What’s that?  No…No I don’t want any of your coffee…wait…did make coffee just to make a sex jokes?

Twitter: Event Horizon – Proving You can’t punch evil. You have to hit it really hard with a baseball bat and even then…results may vary. also, explosive decompression

 

Stuff I Loved:

Most communication between ship crew is done in rhyme.

Space computer printouts…boooda boooda booooda boop

Sam Neil. CLAIRE!!

Why the black man got to serve coffee….oooh…cause he wanted to make a sex joke.

Funky Space Man.

Layman’s terms….try harder

Sam Neil is always explaining stuff to the dummies. It’s his schtick.

Always passing crazy audio through some filters. Do you hear that?

Nasa has had audio file for almost a year…2 listens by ships crew. Bam…got it solved. Liberace me.

Bad stuff…bad stuff…bad stuff…we are here. Calm!

Lawrence Fishburne looks like a freak in that captains chair.  I would rather turn my seat rather my my neck.

“We have ice crystals everywhere.” Ice crystals of what?

Wonder if those flashing bombs will blow up?

Not to worry. The meat grinding tube is totally safe. It also opens and closes with spikey doors. Most dangerous designed ship ever.

How does a cd-rom get stuck.

Got some blood here…nooo..you have a butcher shop floor is what you have.

explosive decompression. I had that once. Got some Pepto and all was cool.

The gravity drive core has some pretty intricate design work on it.

Don’t touch the goo stupid

Space ship instrument panel explosions are the most common space injury.

Scrubbers are always bad. Always got to make the scrubbers.

Got to love a medical table with a drain on it.

Air Lock death in space movies

No Baby Bear…

Is it really a good idea to have the Inner Door/Outer Door buttons so close.

We’re leaving!! Did you see that crap…LEAVE!!

always watch where you are going

All the safety overrides they have do not work.

Fishburne is always a little bit behind. Run. Run. Nope…too late. Run!

Where we are going we won’t need eyes

Evil knows how to be evil. But not so good at ship management.

Man…tha/t Fishburn crawl to safety was awesome!!

Fishurne makes a lot of promises he can’t keep

Man this music is gooooood

This is the 90s Alien

You can’t stop any process that starts on this ship

You can’t punch evil. You have to hit it with a baseball bat and even then…results may vary.

The Rundown

The Rundown (2003)

The Rundown (also known as Welcome to the Jungle) is a 2003 American action comedy film starring The Rock and Seann William Scott about a bounty hunter who must head for Brazil to retrieve his employer’s renegade son. It was directed by Peter Berg. The film received positive reviews but failed at the box office.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0327850/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rundown

Opener: Throw me the stifler…I throw you the whip

Hey honey…PACK YOUR BAGS! We are heading to Brazil! I know! It’s crazy…and your mom said I would never be able to find a job using my bachelors degree in whips. Kiss it mildred! South American here we come! Now let’s head to the bedroom and practice throw me the idol I’ll throw me the whip.

Wooooo

Twitter: The Rundown –  like being a  guest in another man’s house..don’t reach into his refrigerator without asking. Cause you might grab what the rock is cooking. Throw me the stifler…I throw you the whip.

 

Stuff I Loved:

porcini fat and earthy

Option A or Option B

Bad ass opening fight scene

The Rock is a great physical actor

Like working out 12 hours a day and getting your ass kicked with an aussie with a bean bag gun

is that sarcasm? you do it to your monkey friends. you don’t do it to me.

don’t take your guns to town

Stiffler!

gauto

No…I don’t like guns.

This movie lives on quick cuts

Hey…it’s that dude what is Christopher Walken and more cowbell

When I am a guest in another man’s house..I don’t reach into his refrigerator without asking. Unlike Randy.

When a rapper gets a shiny new tooth.

Their representation of hell is awesome!

We don’t call them Brazil Nuts. They are just nuts

        

so angry

oooohhh…goody…a short person joke. Run….for a long time

Stiffler uses the dreaded copy me annoyance.

Throw me the stifler…I will throw you the whip

at the bottom of that hill slide/fall I was really hoping the rock would land in stiflers crotch.

Little Thunder….a little lightening.

The Devil’s cat…you mean every cat?

Mention of The Tooth Fairy and Santa Clause

I find it amusing that walken successfully predicts the Rocks film…The tooth fairy

Santa Claus doesn’t give any breaks

this movie makes me feel out of shape

Firestick to the head

On The Run movies. The hunter becomes the hunted.

Tough guy gets beat up a lot.

Don’t pee in the water…it will swim up you ding dong.

Penis eating minnows

Flying fornification

Option B is always….I Make you

Have you seen stifler lately. He done got chubby

Ears Eyes Foot Face

Rock has Hypersenses

Double handed shotgun cocking…use your pits…use fruit stands…use whatever you can.

Ahhh…yeah…explosion walk away

What! Are you kidding me…you just doomed that small town to death…you busted down their watertower.

Wonder if they went to whip school? or just got a weekend training course with a certificate? What does that job app look like?

I tried counting how many times the rock got that spin around in the air thing. It was a lot

You got the moves…- Chistopher Walken

Slow motion cut scene. Bam.

SuperCop

Supercop (1992) – Hi, This is Jackie Chan and I would just like to apologize to you Americans for the chinese snuff film that was rolled during the end credits. No chinese actors were harmed during the filming of this movie…. just the 6 china men deaths. But no more! Also, I hope to one day work with greatest American Actor. Chris Tucker.

and if you think this voice is offensive. Wait till you hear the dub of Jackie Chan’s Mammie

Twitter:

Supercop – Like being drowned by  2 china-men in speedos for an hour and a half. It’s exciting in parts. Offensive in others.  

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supercop

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104558/

 

Stuff I Loved:

  • I don’t really need my opening credits kungfu’ing me. They were Kung Fu Fighting! They were giving me the credits.
  • We need a supercop!
  • That’s a lot of blue jean material Mr. Chan

Well this dude must be important. Look at all those trophies

  • I don’t think these guys are really speaking English.
  • Jackie Chan’s uncle actor

Hey, I wanted to come back and talk to you after your conversation with your nephew. But I didn’t want to come back inside. So I hung out in the garden and crept back in through the window.

  • For a rated R movie I sure ain’t seeing no booty action.
  • Crazy asian lady drivers! She’s on the wrong side. Unless she is driving a postal car.
  • Supercop Chan.
  • what kind of crazy training facility is this?
  • Geez man. This place is like some kind of communist regime. I wonder how you get on the suit and tie department
  • Don’t walk right into my coal shoveling and then punch me.

What is the dog barking at? How the hell should I know…it’s your dog.

Man. Coal really makes your teeth look white.

Please do not encourage me from your coal cart. Running uphill is not as easy as it looks.

Can beat up 12 guards at once. Can’t go 50 feet up a 35% incline.

Is that one thugs name “FishCake?” Pretty sure that is what I heard.

Just do it. That is how we do it in the country.

Grannie mamaa is the most offensive asian voice over acting I have ever heard in any language

Hey Grannie Mama. Your boobs hit the floor

“Want a cigarette?”

I’ve seen that beard before. Sweet.

Good thing Headquarters is on the same channel as the street cops and they are listening.

That is one seriously cool looking taser.

Geez man. If the Hong Kong police is so freaking good at spotting bad guys why the heck do they need to let this drug lord free to just follow him.

Like the occasional use of gangsta rap.

You are interrupting my sega Tetris time. Throw them into the sea.

Sucks to drown. But really sucks to be drownd’ed at the hands of dudes in speedos

Did they even dub the American drug dealer.

No violence! Too late for that.

That is right. We got dynamite and bazooka. We brings a pimp gun to a bazooka fight?

“Why so serious?” That is awesome.

Man. Dude really love their speedos

Bye May. You stupid crap you just spilled the beans on the elevator.

It seems your pal is working for the Hong Kong DA.