Rollerball

RollerBall (1975) (125 min – Rated: R)

Rollerball is a 1975 dystopian science fiction film directed by Norman Jewison from a screenplay by William Harrison,[2] who adapted his own short story “Roller Ball Murder”, which first appeared in the September 1973 issue of Esquiremagazine.[3] Although it had an American cast, a Canadian director, and was released by the American company United Artists,[4] it was produced in London and Munich.[5][6]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rollerball_(1975_film)

Opener:

ooooh….Houston we have a problem. Looks like moonpie just took it to the back of the head in turn 3. Domo Arigoto Mr. Roboto.  yes, may I please have another. Has anyone seen his mom cause I’m pretty sure he’s going to need a juicebox…for the rest of his life.  If you bet on red 22. You win! Brainwavez.

Twitter:  Rollerball –  This wasn’t meant to be a game! Narf. “Help!! Help!! My asian masseuse fell on me!! Get it off…Get it off…she’s so short.” Bam! Erased. Now get out of my house!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073631/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2

 

Stuff I Loved:

  • You just taught me about a new font.
  • Oh. Fancy music (Phantom of the opery)

double n to n : Are we winning yet?

Look at that Camera Array. It’s everywhere.

Getting a Hockey/Football/Baseball/Roller Derby feel.

Very Vetted.

Those guys are some souped up motobikes.

Madrid vs Houston.

  • It’s good to see in the future that there is still male on male ass harassment in sports
  • Man look at that young James Caan
  • Check out my moustache and flyback hair.
  • Organ music is the future.
  • Controller test his computerized equipment.
  • All sports of the future are played on roller skates.
  • If you need a cannon to launch your game ball….well…maybe you need to rethink your sport.
  • He must hold the ball out in plain view at all times…well that is just bull frap.
  • Motocycles and big silver balls.

It’s good to see the ref is still blind in rollerball

  • Punch people in the face. Fishhooking. Crotch kicking sure. But if you punch a rider on a bike. That gets you the boos.

He shoots he scores! (go high on the end part.)

  • Nothing better than a shirtless rubdown while talking to the rich old whiteman owner.

“I feel mean”

  • Corporate wars. Now that is something I would watch!
  • the corporate wars….”they were nasty!”

man…only James Caan could make an awesome sport like rollerball sound like cricket. Less talk. More punchies.

Woo…Woo…Swoop…Woo

  • Speedball from Manilla.
  • Polyester Onsie!

I love me a Luxury Center. Get me a privilege card.

A lot of 70s cuties in this movie

  • Energy versions of books?

Wood paneling. So out of style. it’s in style.

  • One of them movie moments.
  • I am going to have to be a lot drunker to watch this movie

It’s all about the chest hair. I has it.

Tv’s of the future are not bigger. Just more plentiful.  

Holy crap. I want me some Daphne sunglasses. Those are hoooot.

Rollerball is international

A mess of nerves behind the ears.

Tokyo team is gonna use karate. Cowboy up Houston.

  • This movie is about rules. But there are no rules.
  • Dancing of the future is very reserved. Looks like we are vulcan dancing.

Did he say The Krunk-o-dile?

Let’s see that hit of the week again! Clothes line…Clothes line. What is the future equivalent of clothesline. Washing Machine!! Bam! Washing Machine.

This movie is more about the human experience than about a crazy sport of the future.

  • I want concessions.

Rich people hate trees. I mean like Laser gun hate.

Time to smack my corporate concubine.

Here…talk into my gameshow mic.

“Help!! My asian masseuse fell on me!! Get it off…Get it off.”

  • Hey…Japanese people are short. I get it now.
  • The Japanese anthem sounds like music from the shire. and other Tolkein crap.

These Japanese are creeping me out with their shogun stares. RONIN!

Hey John-na-thon…Don’t stand so close to number 9. It looks silly on TV. “69”

  • Pretty sure it is not a good idea to wear those big ole prescription glasses while playing a contact sport such as RollerBalls
  • Pretty sure you killed that dude you kicked off the motobike
  • How did your buddy die? Punch to the back of the head.
  • Alright…when you go down with your eyes open…does that mean you are dead…or just incapacitated?
  • A game with so much down time you can literally hangout in a corner with some buddies and form a gang to go attack a stray teammember on the other team.
  • Blooood…we want bloood.

Oh no…this turned into soccer. AKA Football for the rest of the world.

Fan in the rink!!

Hey ref….or ball shooter guy. How about stopping the game after you pepsi’s that one dude…you remember…like michael jackson in that pepsi commercial?

“Your teammate is brain dead. But we were unsure if that was how he was when he came in…or if this is a recent injury?”

Holy Crap. They knocked the brain waves out of moonpie

Negative – Computer voice says. Negative.

Don’t understand why Multi-View TV never caught on.

Bam! Erased. Now get out of my house!

and just in case you forget: no penalties and limited player substitutions

Fight Fight Fight!

We need a MASH unit up here!

It wasn’t meant to be a game? then why do I have this Houston Jersey and bobble head doll of Jame Caan!

  • Ahhh…sheet…this ain’t no game. It’s a murder.
  • Murder Ball!
  • Bartholemeul! Were you not entertained!

I feel dystoped

I need some music for my dystopian movie trope. Dystrope!

Bam. I am da man!

The Amityville Horror

The Amityville Horror (1979)  117 min Rated R

The Amityville Horror is a 1979 American supernatural horror film, directed by Stuart Rosenberg, based on the bestselling 1977 novel of the same name by Jay Anson. It is the first movie in the Amityville Horror franchise. A remake was produced in 2005.

The story is based on the alleged real life experiences of the Lutz family who buy a new home on 112 Ocean Avenue, in Amityville, New York, a house where a mass murder had been committed the year before. After the family move into the house, they experience a series of frightening paranormal events.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Amityville_Horror_(1979_film)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052564/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Opener: Little Red Room…improv….good luck

Honey, You are not going to believe what I found in the basement! and by found…I mean located with my sledgehammer….Red Room! Red Rooooom. Oh! we could put a pet bed down here…or we could keep the kids toys down here..sooo many options. Oh…what’s this…looks like a witches teet. Wait…there’s a little sign…”Doorbell To Hell.” Well hot damn!! Hello satan eww…ew… Stupid flies.

Twitter: The Amityville Horror – About an hour into this movie I suggest abandoning your popcorn & soda. Jump into your station wagon and & haul ass.

Stuff I Loved:

The Doorbell to Hell.

3:15

The “Sure” Lady.

The “Play It Cool” trope. When buying a big ticket item.

This is an extra room…aka…the kill room!

Oh man…if they see those cut scenes then the property value is going to drop!

If you see any shitty furniture you want to include…just let us know…we will include it in the price.

nothing creepy here….just sneaking around your new house blessing things. I blessed your toilet 3 times…but it still wouldn’t flush.

I hung up a few fly strips.

Hey….what’s this? it looks like….a doorbell….a doorbell to hell…..bing bong satan….hello?

Hey…you got a priest puking on your lawn

awww….dad and son matching flannel

Tits…Superman is going to be mad.

Cats are stupid

What a nice 70s Brown Cargo Van

Stupid Paper Bags

“Don’t ever grab a man’s ass when he has an axe in his hands”

A weeks worth of groceries in 2 bags. What the hell did you buy woman.

Stupid ass sneaking kids

Who the hell is Jody….and why the hell don’t she like sugar cookies…that’s unAmerican.

Father Boner.

One of those Flu things.

The Laughing nun. No one not getting sex should be laughing that much.

Priests and Nuns have superpowers that are defeated by devil house.

Can Nuns drive cars? is that allowed? I have never seen a nun drive a car…except in Sister Act

What the hell. Projectile vomiting nun

I see why they have so many kids now…bow chick a bow wow

This dog is not stealth

In a time of perms, brown vans and face braces somebody rings the doorbell to hell

I blame detroit before I blame the devil

Pink Jeep Seminary

What kind of Secular education did you have?

Sweaty priest!

We think you need to take a vacation. Wait…priests get vacations! The devil don’t take vacations!

That must be the dirtiest road ever. Those cars are filthy.

Look here carol…why don’t you take your hammock off your shoulder and go set up by some trees if the house gives you the creeps.

Thursday? I’ve been sharpening this axe since Monday

Ya Axe Wielding maniac

Mother fuc…..my hand!

Don’t sneak up on me when I am axing my way into the kid’s bathroom.

Harry…knock it off.

Do you feel that breeze.

Oh thank you for your cosmic views…now shutup!

Man he is so Christian Bale

Won’t go into the house during the day. Does go into the basement after dark. Weirdo.

It’s the passage to hell. Oh stop being so dramatic. It’s a red room.

Who turned my cross upside down!!

Prayed so hard he went blind. Of course…doubting thomas over there will say he just busted a capillary in his eyes.

Will you stop nagging at me! Teeth marks.

Oh no you didn’t….You wanted a house…you got hell house…now shutup….SLAP!

In yo face…Nun just hit 3 points.

Why do you need microfiche when you can see the future with those glasses.

I want Harry…shut the hell up…

You have a major sewage problem

.

 

Trick ‘r Treat

Trick ‘r Treat (2007)  82 min  Rated R

Trick ‘r Treat is a 2007 American anthology horror film written and directed by Michael Dougherty, based on his short film Season’s Greetings.

The film is an anthology of four Halloween-related scary stories. One common element that ties the stories together is the presence of Sam, a mysterious pint-sized trick-or-treater wearing shabby orange pajamas with a burlap sack over his head, that makes an appearance in all the stories whenever someone breaks Halloween traditions.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trick_r_treat

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0862856/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Opener: Boop Beep Boo. I am sexy sarcastic orbot shaped like a box.  I hate halloween. Have sex with me…turn on porn. Do not watch it…just listen.  While I get chopped up. Best Halloween ever. Boop Beep Boo….My dad is on the phone. He wants to have a word with you. Cause he is Liam Neeson. Shutup.

Twitter: Trick ‘r Treat – Like the surprise you feel when you pop in a video labeled ‘nature’ at a friends house and suddenly find yourself watching porn. It’s good. if you are into that sort of thing.

 

Stuff I Loved:

During The Spookiest Time Of The Year.

What are you “Sarcastic Robot?”

Rules in a horror movie!!

That dude who is stalking Liam Neeson’s daughter must be wearing one of them cheap ass halloween masks…cause I always hear myself breathing like that in those cheap plastic masks.

Ha! Nature Special! My friend used to call his porn that too.

Wow they have a lot of white sheets. Wonder if those are 200 thread count? Egyptian?

That is one dangerous street with the traffic

You watching porn…well…more like listening to porn…while your chick is outside getting murdered.

What the crap is that in her mouth? That a sucker?

Hobbit language.

another Anthology!

Caught a little bit of ring around the rosie in that intro music

Hey kid! You dragging your sack. It’s getting all gross.

Earlier!

Hey…this ain’t Charlie Brown!

My tits keep popping out.

These girls have horrible memories

Sexy slut costumes…or Fairy Tale chicks

Oh wait! That is your bra size!! not the total price

He hates these pumpkins! It’s Chunk from the Goonies.

It says one piece fat ass.

Does a hot chick really have to show another hot chick how to talk guys into sex. I think she knows how to get the sex.

Stapled to your forehead? is that foreshadowing?

Smashing Pumpkins! Bashing Jack O’ Lanterns

Dude…that is not how you carve a pumpkin!

This 2nd one seems to be dealing with sins. Sex before marriage…gluttony…

We know you are in there!! We can see you!! Nice blood puke on the steps.

HAHA…cat in that bag that kid was carrying/dragging

“Charlie Brown is an asshole.”

I got an NRA card in my pocket and a shotgun over the fireplace.

No…you can not go to the parade with me.

This whole town is full of great parents and teachers.

Sweet…the R word. Nope she is a Savante!

Vampires! Where is the glitter!!

Great music. This totally reminds me of Tales From The Crypt.

Box-o-candy

The bus sank soo deep. It put your ass to sleep.

Yeah…the candles will protect you…ok…unless you knock them over…or leave them burning when you go to sleep. THEN THEY BURN YOU WITH FIRE!

Hey..that kid was trick ’r treating earlier.

Tater Sack Pumpkin Head is my fave.

The old Sacrifice the Virgin. Virgin’s have it tough in horror movies

Warning…there are no treats in this movie. Only tricks. Carve your eyes out fun.

Don’t listen to the advice of sluts.

Gur Gur. Stephen Wilkins. Or…bone out the leg man.

Sweet Greams are made of these. Nothing says sex like Marilyn Manson.

Hey…are these vamps.

Let me pull this skin off like a cheap sweater.

Trick ‘R Treat. Where you are the decorations.

This must be a predominantly white neighborhood.

Asthmatic killer.

My 2 button remote control. Is that Rip Torn?

I don’t think we chain the mentally challenged up in school buses anymore.

The principle and the old man do not have the same relationship as Wilson and Tim Allen did in Home Improvement backyard fence exchanges.

You gonna show that NRA card?

Hey..who put these stairs here?

Like razor blades and candy.

It was the bus driver!!

pretty darn smart

Don’t break the Halloween rules!! Sam will kill you with a sickle shaped pumpkin sucker.

The Frightners

The Frightners (1996) (110 min – Rated: R)

The Frighteners is a 1996 comedy horror film directed by Peter Jackson and co-written with his wife, Fran Walsh. The film stars Michael J. Fox, Trini Alvarado, Peter Dobson, John Astin, Dee Wallace Stone, Jeffrey Combs, R. Lee Ermey, Jim Fyfe, and Jake Busey. The Frighteners tells the story of Frank Bannister (Fox), an architect who develops psychic abilities allowing him to see, hear, and communicate with ghosts after his wife’s murder. He initially uses his new abilities to work with various spirits to cheat money out of customers for his “ghosthunting” business. However, the spirit of a mass murderer comes back from Hell, able to attack the living and the dead, as the ghost of the Grim Reaper, prompting Frank to investigate the supernatural presence.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Frighteners

Opener:

Wait Frank!…don’t kill yourself…… Let me do it… I think I have Kevin Bacon and Keifer Southerland on speeddial. Get it…Where they kill themselves. Flatliners….no? screw you.

Twitter:  The Frightners – Somewhere between ghostbusters and Doc Hollywood you will find a creepy necro-phelia scene. Just like Doc Hollywood. nice shooting Tex.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116365/

 

Stuff I Loved:

Who better to bring you a monster movie than Universal

  • That is one creepy house

What is up with the lady bowl cuts?

  • Music by Danny Elfman…yeah.  Peter Jackson

What kind of car is that? is it New Zealand like Peter Jackson

The most direct way down a mountain. A straight line apparently

  • Didn’t he do this at the start of Doc Hollywood?
  • What a young Busey. Jake Busey that is.

The family home is a Sanatorium? No wonder.

  • Raggedy Ann doll pillow beatdown
  • If a poltergeist can lift a bed. Why don’t they just go ahead and smoosh you.
  • I used to never could relate to the Suburban Husband and his obsession with his fence. I’m older now. I can totally relate. Get off my lawn you shyster!

Bathroom conversation about the food? No thanks.

  • The bulging wall effect. I loved this back in the day. Still very effective.
  • Michael J Foxes tearing through the backroom looking for Death was awesome.

The Death Corridor is kind of like a worm hole.

  • Hitler Hair.

Love the idea of puking because you can’t handle being yelled at by a woman.

  • You are violating my territorial bubble
  • Is this the first movie after Teen Wolf? Bannister making the basetball court in the back yard with his long hair looks like a teenwolf followup. Remember TeenWolf 2?
  • Want to pull my heart strings? Kill the Judge.
  • I was a little disturbed by the necrophilia with the Judge and the mummy
  • Man. These cops have a little bit of reckless regard for public safety.
  • Good on ya. A Ghost Busters reference…hooo hooo hooo…nice shooting Tex.
  • Vovlos are safe cars. Thank goodness Bannister drives them. Cause he is kind of wreckless.
  • How come all my accidents involve stitches and not super powers?
  • Trope: Kick the dog to protect it. Punch the Big Foot so he will return to the woods. Say mean things to the girl so she will be safe.
  • Piss on my hushpuppies
  • Gary Buseys dad used to say “OMG. look at those teeth. This is your fault woman.”
  • This is one of those. “Nobody is safe movies.” Even if you are dead you can still be killed.
  • The cops are the “stupid parents” in this movie. If you involve the cops as your primary unbelieving foil then you have no one to turn to. Usually Parents, Adults, Cops or the Military. Occasionally a spouse. Why is it never your kids. I would totally watch a movie where your teenage kids turn you over to the authorities and eventually die at the end of the movie because they think you are lame when you tell them there is a talking possum that is trying to take over the city.
  • Wait…don’t kill yourself…… Let me do it… I think I have Kevin Bacon and Keifer Southerland on speeddial. Get it…Where they kill themselves. Flatliners….no? screw you.
  • Watching MJ Fox getting run over while out of body was painful.
  • Your shotgun has unlimited ammo. Nice upgrade…ohh…and a flashlight.
  • Yeah…let’s not find a regular church…no…let’s go to the abandoned hospital and find the chapel where all those people died. Why can’t you hear me! I am screaming at the TV.

I have an uzi. and I’m crazy!

Re-Animator

Re-Animator (1985)  96 min  Rated R

Re-Animator is a 1985 American science fiction horror film based on the H. P. Lovecraft story “Herbert West–Reanimator.” Directed by Stuart Gordon, it was the first film in the Re-Animatorseries. The film has since become a cult film, driven by fans of Jeffrey Combs (who stars as Herbert West) and H. P. Lovecraft, extreme gore, and the combination of horror and comedy.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Re-Animator

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089885/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Opener: Hey that was fun Herbert. But how about next time…next time… we bring someone back from the dead…how about we pick an old lady or the infirmed instead of Arnold Schwatzneggers body double!! Also, I saw your note on the fridge. What does “Cat Dead. Details later” mean.

Twitter: Re-Animator – I have a theory. Overdose! Ok. That is more of a last resort. But this movie dosage was too large

 

Stuff I Loved:

Dr. Gruber!

What…I didn’t do nothing!! I just got this needle here.

Dr. Gruber says… “I have this terrible sinus headache.”

The dosage was too large!!

Love the opening music. Psycho ripoff

Mad props to director choosing a heavy set lady with no shirt to perform chest compressions on.

Work joke! Locked doors. Very funny…now read your paper and smoke your cigarette

Oh dear lord it’s big foot from the 6 million dollar man getting an autopsy.

No sneaking up on me when in the morgue

Hans Gruber? as in Hans Gruber the terrorist in Die Hard?

666 Darkmore address – 555 number. Geez who would take that serious.

Roofus totally didn’t look like someone threw him from off screen. Looked natural as all hell.

The minute you get your MD I will marry you. I’M MARRYING A DOCTOR!!

Dan…stop it…I don’t like that…stop it. c’mon stop…Dan.

Ms. Hallsey. Mr. Hallsey.

Just had a basement gasm…yes…oh yes…yes…basement!

mmm…just like the injuns used to do. Just like peeling a large orange

6 to 12 minutes!!

What the hell. breaking pencils. What is the symbolism

How do you call a cat? psss psss pss pss. Cat’s don’t come to being called dumb ass.

We named the cat roofus.

West not only has a mini fridge in his room. He doesn’t close it after he puts dead cats in it.

“Cat dead. Details later.”

The sound effects in this movie is awesome! Some of it is stock and other parts are people making noises.

“Fighting dead cats in the basement” was my bands name in college.

Reanimation fluid looks like flubber. Neon Green.

Birth is always painful

Sometimes dead is better.

Smoking cigars in the morgue. has that ever been a thing?

Let’s see…what do we want to re-animate…hmmm…

Hehe…this would have freaked me out on October 10th

Is he putting a flashlight on that dude’s junk.

This first guy they reanimate is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s body double from Terminator

The dead guy failed. Not me!!

Next time we reanimate someone….we are going to pick an old lady…not a body builder

oh man…bonesaw through the back. That has to hurt.

I don’t want my potential future father in-law to be brought back to life.

One bad decision after the next.

Unbreakable plastic. Sweet

Bringing something back to life that has active bleeding wounds. Probably not a good idea until you patch up the wounds.

One heck of a security guard.

Go to fetal position.

John Kerry wants to perform exploratory surgery on Dean Hallsey.

“We are both scientists…let’s get to the point.”

That was just…screwed up. Shovel chopping off of head. and jamming it onto a meat thermometer.

I know…I know…you won’t be able to speak if you didn’t have any lungs…but…head in a basket calling you a bastard…that’s pretty creepy.

Your father is not only dead…he’s been lobotomized.

Let me get this straight. He didn’t kill me…but took my serum.

Sure Mr. West…sure you had to kill him. But did you have to bring him back to life.

Worst Nike shirt ever

Hill is a creep.

Why bother putting your head back on your body…when it’s much funnier to watch it fumble around your office.

Like some kind of head fish in a tray. It needs to remain moist

How can Hallsey see through the one way mirror.

Worst guard ever.

Yeah…whatever…the first body will do.

Daddy is a bastard

Dr. Neckskin.

OMG….making daddy watch.

Dead Head Monologging

How long does it take for a laser drill to work?

What a boot to the head

I have a theory. OVERDOSE!! that’s less of a theory and more of a last resort.

Really…more naked men than I am comfortable with.

Event Horizon

Event Horizon (1997)  96 min  Rated R

Event Horizon is an American science fiction horror film released on August 15th 1997. The screenplay was written by Philip Eisner (with an uncredited rewrite by Andrew Kevin Walker) and directed by Paul W. S. Anderson. The film stars Laurence Fishburne and Sam Neill. It reached No. 1 at the box office in the UK.[2]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Event_Horizon_(film)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119081/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Opener:  I was just having the weirdest dream about dinosaurs and a very condescending Jeff Goldblum or as I like to call him Regular Goldblum….wait a second…was I naked when I entered stasis. What’s that?  No…No I don’t want any of your coffee…wait…did make coffee just to make a sex jokes?

Twitter: Event Horizon – Proving You can’t punch evil. You have to hit it really hard with a baseball bat and even then…results may vary. also, explosive decompression

 

Stuff I Loved:

Most communication between ship crew is done in rhyme.

Space computer printouts…boooda boooda booooda boop

Sam Neil. CLAIRE!!

Why the black man got to serve coffee….oooh…cause he wanted to make a sex joke.

Funky Space Man.

Layman’s terms….try harder

Sam Neil is always explaining stuff to the dummies. It’s his schtick.

Always passing crazy audio through some filters. Do you hear that?

Nasa has had audio file for almost a year…2 listens by ships crew. Bam…got it solved. Liberace me.

Bad stuff…bad stuff…bad stuff…we are here. Calm!

Lawrence Fishburne looks like a freak in that captains chair.  I would rather turn my seat rather my my neck.

“We have ice crystals everywhere.” Ice crystals of what?

Wonder if those flashing bombs will blow up?

Not to worry. The meat grinding tube is totally safe. It also opens and closes with spikey doors. Most dangerous designed ship ever.

How does a cd-rom get stuck.

Got some blood here…nooo..you have a butcher shop floor is what you have.

explosive decompression. I had that once. Got some Pepto and all was cool.

The gravity drive core has some pretty intricate design work on it.

Don’t touch the goo stupid

Space ship instrument panel explosions are the most common space injury.

Scrubbers are always bad. Always got to make the scrubbers.

Got to love a medical table with a drain on it.

Air Lock death in space movies

No Baby Bear…

Is it really a good idea to have the Inner Door/Outer Door buttons so close.

We’re leaving!! Did you see that crap…LEAVE!!

always watch where you are going

All the safety overrides they have do not work.

Fishburne is always a little bit behind. Run. Run. Nope…too late. Run!

Where we are going we won’t need eyes

Evil knows how to be evil. But not so good at ship management.

Man…tha/t Fishburn crawl to safety was awesome!!

Fishurne makes a lot of promises he can’t keep

Man this music is gooooood

This is the 90s Alien

You can’t stop any process that starts on this ship

You can’t punch evil. You have to hit it with a baseball bat and even then…results may vary.