Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Skiptace (2016) – FilmSack Show Notes

INTRO

oh hi,

….and in this corner, weighing in at an astounding 425 pound and full of glistening Mongolian Beef…. it is MongoThe Manglerrrr….. and His opponent, now cowering in the other corner …with no honor, weighing in at a paltry 150 pounds a real jackass of a guy and a dude what makes faces that could be described best as constipated. It’s America Guy.

Now let’s get ready to….Nope… Wait! Player 3 enters the ring! Weighing in at 2 ducks and a chicken is the master of the two finger neck nap. It’s Too Old for this shit guy! Well, things just got interesting! and it’s over. That’s too bad.

Well, I’ve been your announcer guy and to answer your first question. I’ll have the chicken.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2238032/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skiptrace_(film)

TWITTER

Skiptrace (2016) – Like a two finger neck nap from Jackie Chan. Also, Not the brief nudity we asked for…but the brief nudity we deserve.

SHOW NOTES

  • Jackie Ass Chan Ville
  • Saban! Thanks Rangers
  • Sparkle Roll Media. Sparkly Roll!!
  • The Matador is the bad guy.
  • Take this watch…so my daughter will remember me. Jump pop!
  • Pulp Comic intro
  • Who let Johnny Knoxville pick the soundtrack?
  • Nine Years later…still Hong Kong.
  • I’m the real thang…
  • Bennie Chan…what a departure.
  • Handsome Willie in the house!
  • Lingerie to the face and knuckles to the neck = Jackie Neck Pinch.
  • Doberman is foiled with a tennis ball.
  • Doberman out!
  • Jackie Chan and his damn ladders…Ladder fu
  • NOOO…Not the watch! wait…it has a leather band? I thought it had a steel band….and I thought he was supposed to give it to the guys daughter.
  • Not the brief nudity we asked for…but the brief nudity we deserve
  • Dang Police Drug Raid.
  • Victor Wong is the Matador…who runs the Hong Kong Underworld.
  • Even in Hong Kong the police chief is an over-stressed dick.
  • Meanwhile, somewhere in Russia…a jackass
  • Russian code…bowling for jackasses
  • Johnny Knoxville doing The Notebook
  • The Houses and the Porsche and the other Porsche.
  • “To answer your first question. I’ll have the chicken.”
  • A real lady’s man…scammer
  • Fat guy is easy to hate when he is being a dick to his kid.
  • Macau!
  • Johnny Knoxville does a pretty good “Taken by beauty” face.
  • A flavor you would never suspect that would be so tasty
  • Lady lady is running from her boss boss?
  • Gross Asparagus pee flush
  • Crash Fu…that is what Knoxville has.
  • Alpaca Taser
  • Shotgun Wedding…Bowling Alley Wedding.
  • haha…Jackie Chan finally grew into his old man run.
  • Were there any stunt doubles in this movie?
  • Hog tied Knoxville
  • Delayed ball damage
  • “Who is this man?”
  • That is no girl…she is a woman.
  • A factory full of Russian nesting dolls
  • Trojan is the manufacturer stamp?
  • Knoxville likes them Goat Nuts
  • Taser water shock
  • If he didn’t unlock the phone right away he may be screwed.
  • Is Knoxville the hero in this movie?
  • 3 wheeled scooter thing
  • Hit him in the ding ding
  • He is an honorable person. Very highly valued.
  • Mongolia
  • This is a road trip across Asia? Mostly just Mongolia
  • Fiance 9 years ago. before the partner death.
  • Rolling in the deep.
  • All you have to do is charge a phone in the middle of nowhere.
  • Horse apples! Horse taking a shit in a scene…we are keeping that.
  • The Chinese have a lot of sayings.
  • Alpaca Drama
  • The Russian foils that always manages to anti-save Knoxville
  • Pig Skin Float
  • Jackie Chan can’t swim
  • Take down the Matador…
  • That kid gave them a faulty wish
  • Geez man…even after your partner died and trusted his daughter to you…you still are more concerned with the Matador.
  • Mud Festival…good for harvest.
  • How do they keep finding us?
  • What kind of popcorn contraption is that?
  • The singing bridge…YOU SHALL NOT PASS
  • That is some terrible green screen
  • Easy on the ding ding
  • ahh…Alpaca is his dream..
  • 2 finger pressure nap
  • He never told him about his parents.
  • Try the other thumb!! Try the other thumb!!
  • haha! her father was the Matador?
  • what! She is like a kid! you can’t ask her out.
  • That phone has one job.. to show a QR Code to a laptop
  • acid and cocaine
  • was the watch a tracker?
  • Why is he knocking on the door…she can’t hear him
  • What a dysfunctional family….a cop and his crooked partner raise a daughter and come together to save the daughter…honor
  • A wise man once said….
  • uh oh…unibrow baby

Categories
Filmsack Notes Thoughts

Around The World In 80 Days (2004) : Filmsack – Notes

Around The World In 80 Days (2004)

Intro:

As you guys know…I have a wife for everyday of the week.  But good news! I’ve decided to divorce Tuesday wife for more sacking! Viva La Filmsack. Now if you will excuse me. I have to go urinate in public and re-attach this mans nipples. Don’t worry. I’m going to wash my hands before and after each…because otherwise that would be gross. Lord Salisbury stop pointing at my thinker!

Links:

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0327437

WIKIPEDIA: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Around_the_World_in_80_Days_(2004_film)

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlsgwJUNFNU

JUSTWATCH: https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/around-the-world-in-80-days

Twitter:

Around The World In 80 Days (2004) – Like taking a “Steamer” to London captained by a man with no nipples. Wear the rubber underpants!

Notes:

That China-Man is robbing the bank of England.

The Steam Punk Conehead

Wear the rubber pants

Trope: Agree to a dangerous job to avoid apprehension / Oh you must be the Servant from Servant Co that I was expecting.

Crazy backyard scientist….

Flubber and movies of this like use Steam powered science that is more akin to bubbly soda

Nothing funnier than the ole face punch through a painting where the painting face should be.

I don’t think they know what a Valet is. or perhaps I do not

Ramsey invented the slinky in the late 1800s and was put in the lunatic asylum.

Impregnable vs impenetrable.

As adjectives the difference between impenetrable and impregnable is that impenetrable is not penetrable while impregnable is too strong to be penetrated or impregnable can be capable of being impregnated.

Lord Salisbury

A woman in the Royal Academy!

The Jade Buddha

Little Red Rule Book

I got to admit…I laughed at Passport Two…passepartout

Turns on with a whistle.

Was 50 miles per hour ever really a barrier?

The whisper game

Elderly Norwegians with very tiny feet

Fortnight (2 weeks)

These British have the best teeth of any British I have seen in the late 1800s

Challenge extended. Challenge accepted.

Everyone has a price…or do they.

The wager…no more science…or all the science. Royal Academy of Science head…sounds like a lot of work.

Sitting in my copper tub….thinking about my poor choices.

Keep getting this movie confused with Shanghai Knights

Nothing funnier than seeing an authoritarian figure being drug down the road by a horse/car

Me Brain’s Leaking!

Trope: Asian lady who is good with knives

Ahh…the early years of 3d animation. Nice twist on the map travel interstitials or transitions though

Wait a moment! This is not science…it is art.

Grass is not charcoal.

Man is not a chicken….The Van Gogh loop was very popular in France during the late 1800s

You dream of flying and naked men?

Women are getting pushed out everywhere.

Old French ladies are always trying to take a bite out of Jackie Chan

Old French lady taking a face plant made me laugh.

Brothel humor makes me laugh. No it does not.

Ahh…Jackie Chan…saving sleeping ladies from their own incompetence

The statue is grabbing his trousers! It also has dreams of flying and naked men.

Jackie Chan getting pants is always good humor.

Jackie Chan is the bumbling fool that has skills…the police man is just bumbling

Fogg is smitten with fancy hoes.

A wild Arnold appears.

What a weird choice for Istanbul prince?

I never think when I am naked…

Arnold does not like you pointing at his thinker.

Bathing suits are weird.

A wife for each day of the week. But what if I want to be single on Tuesdays!

They are taking the idea of Fat Cats to the highest degree.

Lord Kelvin is cold.

Cross Dressing is always funny …especially when trying to escape in a crowd. except that it is not and always ends with the hunter being smitten with the prey until they realize…and the pursuit continues

Man of many chains…you do not want to go against…the man of many chains

Sake and Dominos

Perhaps one of the most violent Disney movies since Flubber

Drunk China-man..

kanpai! is that also a Chinese cheer? or just Japanese.

Chinese: Nien Nien nu e. Kong Chien
Chinese: Yung sing (“drink and win”)
Chinese Cantonese: Gom bui (“dry the cup”)
Chinese Mandarin: Gan bei (“dry the cup”)

I went back…she is saying Gom Bui…possibly Gan bei.

Chan, surveying the pre-show chaos, periodically contributed comments in a mishmash of English, Mandarin, and Cantonese, the language of his native Hong Kong. “I’ve forgotten how to speak Cantonese!” he said. In Beijing, where he lives now, Mandarin is spoken. He leaned over to a young Chinese-American visitor nearby.

That is one convenient story-telling dresser..it has pictures and letters and everything to easily explain everything for Fogg…who is an idiot.

Fogg…the last to know.

Screaming China-Man….”Please let me go. I am bored!”

Ding Ding Ding….no no…Ding Dang Dong…Passpourtout

Mr. Grumpy and the leatherettes

Your silly bracelet.

French ladies like to spit.

This is some good fighting.

Jackie Chan has his ass stuck in a cart. Go home to momma.

10 Tigers!

Chair and Ladder assists are always in Jackie Chan fighting.

I really admire the Chinese people. They always seem to put a lot of work in…that’s why I hate to see someone get thrown into a pile of collected work…like when I a Chinese citizen sorts all those skittles by color just to have a bad guy get tossed into it. ugh.

Public Urinater got to do what a public urinater got to do. I think I got some pee pee on me.

an hour and 20 minutes in and act 2 is over…time for act 3

Does this wall ever end? It’s like some kind of great wall. Perhaps you will run into Matt Damon. I wish a I had a valet

I’m such a Rutabaga.

Drug broker.

Alms…for the poor?

A wild Rob Schneider appears…and smells like a dead horse.

I’ll cut you with my wooden spoon! You devil worshipping drawer.

Got to be a record for Cameos in a Filmsack movie.

Where are the Flying Men! The bird men are coming.

A man who lives what he dreams

So did Disney just have a few actors on payroll they needed to use?

haha….was sad when I realized this was not Shanghi Knights…then happy again when Cowboy Owen Wilson showed up…then sad again when Luke Wilson appeared.

Crazy English Wanna Be Cowboy Man….get out the way.

America loves a good wager

Taking a “Steamer” to London.

That was one epic battle.

She is the 11th Tiger and Finally…a lady punches a lady out.

Formula…The Threesome. Man/Woman romance and Third Wheel who has a seperate agenda but is friends with both man and woman.

How many filmsack films have The Statue of Liberty in them?

Did we do Ghostbusters 2?

Captain no nips hasn’t gotten any since the shark attack

Most people would laugh at you. not us. We care about you

Birds is the idea…burn birds.

New nipples for a boat. You had me at the nipples

Those poor sailors…stuck at sea with a captain with no nipples.

As most American Technology of the late 1800s…powered by a china-man

It’s a slinky…fun for Lord Kelvin

Look out for darts in the back

Street people are afraid of bird people….

We didn’t go to New Zealand

I’m a battered Lord

Big fat royal bottom!

She’s behind me isn’t she.

In another timeline…the queen of England hobbles James Caan…and in another she takes a sit in a hot tub with Jack Nicholson.

I am not even going to try to figure out timezones.