Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Vampire’s Kiss (1988) – Filmsack Show Notes


Oh hi,

Sorry guys. I’m a bit under the weather. It seems I left my window open all night and I have caught a cold.

Now if you could hold on a second. I can’t seem to locate my show notes for today and I know I filed them somewhere between Con Air and National Treasure but I can’t seem to locate then. Hmmm..if only I had a 30 something secretary with sexy ankles and shoulder pads who still lives at home with her mom and middle aged brute of a bother I’m sure I could find it.

Uh oh…it seems a bat has flow in the window..shoo shoo.

I’ll just take care of that later….great…now I’m frustrated, drunk and horny. What? You guys aren’t still drunk from Saturday night at Ibbott’s house? (Shutup, I know you are Randy)… but c’mon how did you get through this week’s movie without having someone drive a pallet stake trough your heart? Fine, How about Horny then? Just me? alright..whatever you got to tell yourself to crawl under your leather couch at night.

Ahh there it is…it was under Movies that became Memes. You don’t say! Now if you will excuse me…I have a bat to fondle.



Vampire’s Kiss (1988) – Like storming out of the greasy spoon and your vampire bite suddenly starts hurting…but it’s ok..cause there are dancing mimes outside your high rise apartment complex spitting and slapping each other. Were you not entertained!


  • Is this a movie or a meme?
  • The meme that made a movie
  • I like this music!
  • I just wanted her to get the hell of of there….says the yuppie to his therapist.
  • He has commitment issues. Wants them badly and then rejects them
  • Now he is at the funk-soul-jazz bar?
  • What is this Fantastic 4 talk? the rubber man, fireball and the one made of big brown stones?
  • He can’t go home with the girl from the telephone company.
  • Eric D geist solv-smykker
  • He is into Literature
  • The things that poor stairs kid has seen.
  • Randomly placed art and culture around his apartment
  • Did I mention I love this music….love this music.
  • Trying to make the sex attracts the bats.
  • Shoo! Shoo!
  • Well…I guess the bat lives there now.
  • Alva…she does not like the no socks look.
  • He’s into feet and ankles
  • Street vendor is like…take your pepsi! Stop kissing and take your Pepsi!
  • You were the bat?
  • Is he doing his Keanu…
  • I will see you on Tuesday ya nut.
  • Jennifer Beals gonna bite you…
  • How can you see yourself to shave! You been bit by a vampire
  • Diggy diggy diggy…bum bum bum…diggy diggy diggy…bum bum bum
  • Do you like it? I got to take a piss.
  • I am so out of here…See ya Museum of modern crap
  • Hello, you have reached Peter…
  • I was a little I was horny…yeah that is it
  • Leaving the grease hole and your vampire bite starts hurting…but it’s ok..cause there were dancing mimes outside your high rise apartment complex spitting and slapping each other
  • Alva…Simon…Theodore!
  • Alva’s got a gun
  • Do not leave notes for Peter.
  • Does Peter cry wolf?
  • Stop singing and shaking your change cup at me Subway singer
  • Misfiled! Don’t even say that…who…who did this misfile? I can’t not accept that!
  • A,B,C,D,E,F,G…Alphabetic order
  • I’ve never misfiled anything…not once!
  • …and you call yourself a psychiatrist
  • The problem with crazy people is…they don’t act crazy most of the time.
  • Mescaline…what is that?
  • Lowest on the totem Pole Alva
  • Don’t you want to use your gun Alva?
  • So he is basically pleasing himself everyday
  • The Friday morning rant of an office worker. Talking to no-one
  • oh no..he got Alva’s address
  • Alva has a lot of those dresses.
  • …it never just goes away.
  • Poor Alva …no one believes her.
  • I hate when I am having a freak out in the bathroom and someone is trying to take a dump
  • Sooner…Sooner….Sooner
  • Can’t afford the $20 dollar teeth…but paid $50 for a taxi
  • That is a lot of pigeons
  • Makeshift Leather Couch Coffin
  • Meanwhile down at the warehouse rave…dancing bra straps
  • Cage doing his best dime store Nosferatu
  • why are you acting so Cagey
  • I am like you. you are with me.
  • Spitting…so the mime’s reflect the violence in his head
  • Who the hell is Donald? the therapists husband?
  • You breaking up with me….after I sucked that broad bone dry
  • We all feel like a vampire when we see the sun after a night of partying
  • More Loews than a New York phone book
  • My girlfriend broke up with me. I’m a Vampire. Kill me
  • Disco Death? no…Ravage Rave
  • So is the Therapist real?
  • Holy shit I will be happy
  • Sharon in the waiting room
  • Dr. Love
  • rape…no… id release
  • this is my plank
  • Plank me, oh plank you

Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Young Guns (1988) – Filmsack Show Notes


Oh hi,

Look, no intro that I could write imo would be funnier than us live sacking the Time-Life Books “The Old West” Commercial from the 80s.

Scott, Roll that beautiful bean footage.

Hmmm, well apparently I was wrong. Maybe I should have went with a “where are they now” angle…winning.

This has been great experiments in Sacking! that can’t all be great.



Young Guns (1988) – Like a game of “hey don’t look now….but Emilio is showing you his finger penis and now you are violated.” A game nobody wants to play in 2018.


Were these credits filmed in the 1800s….nope…the 1980s

I dig this chill music.

These are the most pretty cowboys I done seen.

now shoot the guns!

Uh oh…looks like another hanging.

Keifer is Doc

Fight fight. Navajo…Navajo. Mexican Indian.

“Who are them?” – William

Chavez has 3 throwing knives.

Pigs are smart as dogs. will this come into play?

Chavez Chavez. Why do they keep repeating his names.

Regulators mount up. I can’t hear that whole spill without singing the song.

Charley Bowdre: We work for Mr. Tunstall as regulators. We regulate any stealing off his property – we’re damn good too! Mr. Tunstall’s got a soft spot for runaways, dareless, vagrant types. But you can’t be any geek off the street, gotta be handy with the steel, if you know what I mean, earn your keep.

William can read!

Stop hacking on me.

Billy does not do well with hogs

Jack Palance always eats up the scenery.

That’s a Farging lie and you know it! – Dick Brewer

It’s always about the government beef deals.

or…is it a family thing? Old school mafia.

Let’s go talk private like over by the pig stalls…

Kicking Chickens! This guy! – Jay (one of murphy’s boys.)

We done made gentlemen out of William.

Spinning guns…it’s a hobby in the old west.

Shooting shit ain’t funny Billy.

Emilio Estavez laughing is always upsetting.

Was this the first time I heard the term Talywacker?

Some of this is somewhat true…very somewhat….as far a legend goes. It helps this movie if you know cowboy lore?

I actually like how Keifer is playing Doc.

“Dance with Susan…it’s safer” – Locke

The proper use of You and I has been the subject of many fist-a-cuffs.

No fireworks for the New Year? No problem. We all have guns and bullets are cheap…apparently. Pew pew pew.

That is one fance bird.


Boys will be boys… Yeah…this music has taken a turn…nothing good can happen here.

There are too many and we are still drunk! Get out of here.

Deputize these fools. Are you crazy

Bad Medicine? Is it time to break out the Bon Jovi?

When you want somebody killed…you send in Billy….if you want him retrieved… send someone else.

Billy takes a little too much pleasure in the killing.

Penis Pistol Shot

Did Billy land in the pee and shit outside the lean to toilet?

You weren’t supposed to smoke anyone. We are the law.

Blood, Brains and Balls.

How much Chaw is McDermont going through in a day.

oh man.. Doc does not take “no” very well.

Well that escalated slowly.

Can they not cover up the murders? I mean…surely you could hide a few bodies.

Chavez Chavez gonna take the boys on a trip.

Keifer is tripping balls

Prolly not a good idea to do guns and Peyote.

Cocka doodle damn doo…hey guys! Hey guys!

I’m here butterfly.

Don’t Peyote and mount up.

Hey dog…dog…did you see the size of that chicken?

I have a feeling them Native American’s have seen some shit.

Peyote makes Dermont hungry.

Chavez is sitting right there! Don’t call it a heathen religion.

When the Young Guns meet the Old Gun.

Regulators done f’ed up.

We got to keep the gang together.

“Hey Steve!” … Whaaaat!?

Has Doc killed anyone yet? or just the horse?

i seen red smitty hang

“does a horse piss where she pleases?” guy in a bar

It’s John Kenny! Ride!!

Sow the wind. Reap the Whirlwind and it’s a whirlwind out there.

…It’s a 100 against 5

Pals is like family and it ain’t easy having pals.

Oh Charlie…you should have stayed.

Thank you very much Charlie.

Now that was overkill shooting Locke with a Gatlin Gun.



Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

License To Drive (1988) – Show Notes


Oh hi,

This week’s FilmHack inspired me to start my own FanFic Film Play called “License to Lose” where Grandpa Anderson has to fight the DMV in order keep his license after he is diagnosed with dementia.

License to Lose will most likely be a senior-citizen adventure film starring Corey Feldman as a cantankerous old grandpa who must prove he can still drive after his dick son-in-law reports him to the DMV due to a controversial diagnosis of moderate dementia and results in his license being revoked.

Hilarity ensues as Grandpa Feldman tries to get frisky with his DMV examiner in the back seat of his Caddy. Oh Grandpa…you can’t drive in the back seat.

Further hi-jinx follow when Grandpa Feldman tries to order a vanity plate from a high tech kiosk but discovers that “Grandpa” is already taken. Sure he tries Grandpa1, GrandpaRulez, Grandpa with @ symbols for A’s….all taken. That is until he wallops the monitor with a cane. Bingo!

If you are still listening…give me a call.

Coming to a theater…or not…near you…or not.


Bad Ass 2: Bad Asses (2014) Show Notes


Bad Ass 2: Bad Asses (2014)

R  |  Video  |   |  Action, Drama  |  26 March 2014 (Italy)


[usr 5.0]




Intro: Oh hi, So I couldn’t figure out if I wanted  my ass kicked standing up or sitting down. So I just ordered a bottled water instead. Turns out I prefer my ass kicked on the bus floor in the fetal position with gum stuck to my head. I didn’t age well.




YouTube Trailer


Twitter: Bad Ass 2: Bad Asses (2014) – Like trying to Netflix and Chill when suddenly Danny Trejo kicks down your door.  Should have picked up them Depends. 




Stand Up Asshole.


Would you prefer standing up ass kicking or sitting down ass kicking?


Honorary Popo


Fast Forward 3 years. Down at the Community Boxing rink


He found himself a blond….dog!


Fanny Pack productions is a great name


What a cruel thing to live to see your boby fail.


Pony Tail Trejo


When will we hate beards again? Not this week…love that beard.


Where is Apollo Creed’s boy?


I guess the Gatorade is free.


Ha! Don’t need to get your nuts in my face.


Grumpy old men.


Is this the same store Danny owned in Die Hard?


Has Danny Glover always been too old for this shit?


Body Blow. Body Blow.


Is that kids name Salts? nope…


That kid Raymond is pale enough to be in Twilight.



Hoodie with a leather jacket over it. Popular in movies and TV harder to pull off in real life.


When a kid tells you he saved up for something. He didn’t…he’s a punk.


Trejo has cauliflower ear lobes.


Look…it’s Miami Vice. Where are the wicker shoes Spanish Sonny?


This movie is Italian.


You brought fists to a knife fight? Classic mistake. Stab Stab


Escalation! Now Danny has something to be a bad ass about.


How do you play Barbies?


That is a lot of scroat toe Danny is sporting in those leisure suit pants.


Trejo yells everything…even when whispering. Gravely!


We need a hero! Mr. Vega…we need a hero. How about a reluctant hero?


Where did Danny Glover find a members only jacket.


Good bye money. I think I will have a heart attack instead.


Is he agoraphobic? Yep.


ha! Morgan Freeman. Should have called him Danny Glover.


Cops stuffing their faces with pastries from time to time.


Drugs are for losers…just like Nancy Reagan said.


Drug flash Mini Montage


He was only selling drugs to support his family and to buy coach a

cell phone.


“Oh shit” man made me laugh. Not sure if that is how I would react if I was Netflix and Chill and Trejo came busting in.


Don’t be contacting my kids on Instagram.


That dude was not playing the piano…unless you mean playing us for suckers.


“How should I say…”


Bad dad.


The reluctant bad guy son who is just trying to please his dad.


Trejo has a back door to the liquor store.


Trejo is about to bring out the drunken spanish monkey kungfu


Hey it’s KC from TMNT! Nope…it’s Members Only president and only black hockey player Danny Glover.


I didn’t need the camera man to “dwell” on Danny Glovers junk.


That dudes wound is crackling when you jam it with a knife…ooooh….it’s his ribs.


Are there any African American Hockey Players…to google.


haha…some rare liver disease no one has ever heard of…but the doctors know how long he is going to live.


hehe…what was that zoom in about on Trejo and Glover. They each got one.


Smurfette Trejo or Brainy Glover.


Tracksuit! Old people have a lot of the same clothes. Bought for life.


Slow Mo Guitar Riff Walking


Guatamalan Tourist and 7up


Old dude perverts.


Glover is the patient one


The reluctant hero is always putting peoples careers in jeopardy. Especially for retiring cops.


Green Machine…I miss those.


Suddenly Trejo is a phone expert.


Solo Cup tits.


Old Man Strength. Fact or fiction?


I can’t keep a towel on while walking from the bathroom to my closet. This guy gets beat up and can. 


So…that metal fan is cutting that dudes dick? too far.


Glover is a playa!


Is this movie reverse ageist?


Manny’s little sister is bringing me down.


Gee…I wonder if that secret door will come into play later on?


Oh and a gun…will they use it?


Don’t nobody want your used up Trejo liver.




This is almost Lethal Weapon: sad old man edition.


Rent a cop reminds me of Zach Galifianakis


That was the slowest take down ever of the rent-a-cop by glover


Eye Gore!


Eye for an Eye…literal.


Those bus route interstitions are weird.


Getting sick of Manny’s little sister.


Can we go to Chuck-E-Cheese’s! Please! No


Danny Glover never hits on Manny’s 30/40 year old mom…But college age girls…you bet!


This is the equivalent of an old man’s wet dream.


Diplomatic Immunity…always thwarting the good guys. Is this reality? Also, didn’t that happen in Lethal Weapon?


Stinking badges we don’t need any


Fake breath smoke is too fake


Mexican MacGyver


Glover realigning his hip is too much like Riggs bum shoulder.


It’s always a disappointing story behind an eye patch


Good Neighbor Diane has some scary arm veins.


Wow…that exterior shot of Trejo and Glover in the truck was bad.


How lame will Text popups on screen during movies look 10 years from now…2 years from now.


Guys with machine guns sitting on the edge of a helicopter. Looks like a sucky job and you usually end up dead.


3rd wall broken. Expendables parting gift gun.


What kind of rare liver disease makes you cough up blood?


I can’t catch up with someone if they make it through a red light and I don’t. How do you catch up with someone who has like a 30 minute head start.


All that hiding and fancy rolling out the back of a truck to just get shot in the head.


haha…somebody please call Amberance.


What are the odds that Glover and the bad guy are liver matches.


Yep…Old man Wet Dream

I wonder if you have to take a Viagra to have an old man wet dream?





Heathers (1988) – Show Notes


Heathers (1988)

R  |   |  Comedy, Crime, Drama  |  31 March 1989 (USA)


[usr 5.0]




Can I Stream It?

Can I Stream It? Heathers on Can I Stream.It?

Intro: Scotts, Brians, uh Randy… Dear Angry Diary, Today I bought a monocle. and by bought I mean shoved down my pants like a thanksgiving turkey in a Jane’s Addiction video. Also, suck me gently with a shop vac…this movie was very….part of my early 20s




YouTube Trailer

Final Shooting Script


Twitter: Heathers (1988) – Like a lunchtime poll about tater tots. Shutup and let me eat my tots Heather.




What will I be? I will be Christian Slater.




Red is the color of the powerful and rich.


That sitting area needs a gate


Whatever will be will be…Casa Ra




Heather is reading Moby Dick…some pretty heady stuff for a Heather.


David Newman!




It’s like caddy shack.


Wow…that diary is going to get filled pretty quick if you write that big.


What is your damage?


Shoulder Pads! 


It will be Very.


Starting to think Heathers are not nice.


Put a Heather on my Johnson.


Heather, Heather, Heather, Randy


Lunchtime Poll! 


Christian Slater is intrigued. 


Desperate Throwback Photo Girl is sporting fake glasses.


Buying stuff at the limited.


Let’s take a lunch time poll on Filmsack about social morales.


Screw me gently with a chainsaw.


The Geek Squad? Does Best Buy know this movie stole their name?


Laugh at the fat girl


Use your own finger…


Man that is one long Lunch break.


Greetings and  Salutations.


I’m a Brian


Who does that guy in the coat think he is? Bo Diddly?


You could not shoot a gun with blanks at a school today…or then.


Keggers with kids.


I got to motor.


BQ or plain. BQ …..mmmm cornuts.


Wynona was only 15 here…I feel dirty.


Feast on a turbo dog.


Everything was Very, Severe, Extreme, Intense


Throw your coats on the floor…


Angry Diary! 


College guys getting blown away by high school students.


Nothing says creepy like wood paneling.


I just want to get laid..torso pat.


Swatch Dogs and Diet Coke Heads.


A real cooz? Kooz?


Grody…lick it up baby…lick it up


I have never had anyone enter through my window. Happens in movies a lot.


Milk and Orange Juice has an upchuck factor of 2


This movie brought to you by Carnation Milk.


Wrong cup!!! Don’t do it.


Night time scrunchies.


That would be terrible to watch someone die from drinking drain cleaner.


“I can’t believe this is my life.”


Sylvia Plath – The Bell Jar. Suicide note!


I’ve been in the Teacher’s Office before and it don’t look like that.


Heather 2 now has the red scrunchie


Dang Hippie art teacher.


Peter is a real dick.


That VCR is encased in some kind of rock plaster.


Father Bob is kind of odd. What a strange relationship with these parents.


Waving from a library window in Texas?




The MTV Video Games…hehe..


Do you pray over the dead at a funeral one at a time with inner monologue


None of the nerds in this movie are wearing real glasses.


Mmmm…Mmmmm…I can’t get enough of them…Corn Nuts that is.


Cow tipping….color me unimpressed.


Geez…the Heather raping in the field is unnerving.


Big Fun ! Teenage Suicide…Just Don’t Do It…


Lewis is Mr. Mosby.


A sword fight in your mouth….nice.


Winona Ryder has more wardrobe changes than…something


Football phone.


A gay care package? 


Hair Tufts vs Skins.


Veronica is not the smartest cookie.


Trenchcoats are no longer a thing thanks to those jerks.


Wow…she is a good shot.


Supertroopers in the woods


Bottled water in the late 80s…


Car cigarette lighters..that’s what the charge ports were in cars back then.


Pretty intense…cigarette lighter burns…that is some hurt ass shit.


A Heather dies and can’t even get a half day. Two Jocks die and school is cancelled.


I love my dead gay son!


Dear Angry Diary…I bought a monocle today…and a bottle of vodka.


Veronica Monocle..Winona Monocle. UniFocal. Monocle Ryder.


Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs? I thought that was what saved them.


The judge told them to slurp shit and die.


I don’t patronize bunny rabbits.


Hot Probs is on!


mmm…form feed dot matrix paper…


Jealous much?




Could this movie be made today? Images of school shootings and bombings.


Is Christian Slater wearing a walkman or discman?


remember Discman…what a piece of horrible idea…spinning discs strapped to your hip.


My life needs more Pep Rallies on Fridays


Cool. Cheerleader Crotch Wheels




Oh no…knife in the top of the bomb…now we will never know whether he was lying about pressing the middle button.


The “barely survived it” walk at the end of movies.


The (Christian) Slate(r) is clean.


Let’s rent some new releases…pop some popcorn here on filmsack.