The Panic Log – 08/05/2018

Oh hi,

It’s a hot Sunday in August and I have not spent a lot of time outside this summer except for early in the morning when the sun first peeks out and occasionally as the sun sets.

Despite my limited time outside I have had some of the worst allergies this year.

Today’s panic attack was brought on by a heart palpitation while in the first few minutes of my walk tonight at around 8:30 PM. It was like a punch to the chest and gave me a bit of a start. In fact it felt just like when someone scares you all of a sudden. One big jump of the heart. Well it was enough for me to stop my fast pace and slowly walk back to the house. I was not panicking yet but I assumed I probably would if I had another bump like that. On the way back home I decided to look up heart palpitations on my phone to see if it was “normal” for one to hurt. I didn’t dig too deep. I have learned it is best not to obsess and so I stopped reading after a few results. But I did read enough to see what could cause them. One of them was a heart attack of course. They described it like a fist squeezing inside your chest.

I arrived back home and my nose was stopped up from just my short trip outside. I was thinking perhaps it could be something allergy related or gastrointestinal as I have had a lot of  thick mucus that has been causing acid reflux. Also, I have been drinking more diet sodas lately. I’m cutting that out right now. I took a Wal-Zan (Zantac) and turned up the A/C so that it would be a little less cool in the house. Sometimes cold air irritates my lungs and gives me spasms in my chest.

Yeah…so are my heart palpitations because of heart as is my worst fear or is it gastrointestinal or is it asthma related? Maybe I have walking pneumonia? A leaky valve? Hell who knows. I’ve been to the doctor for all of those things.

Anywho, I tried to take it easy and not panic. So I worked on some laundry. Then I had another weird “spasm” in my chest. Perhaps from the Wal-Zan? Perhaps a heart attack. Perhaps my lungs adjusting to the cooler air in the house.

Yep. Just another day of obsessing over my body until I catastrophize it to the level of having a panic attack.

Currently, I am sitting here typing up this blog post and hoping that I can settle down and go to sleep.

Will I walk in the morning? I am going to try.


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