Listen…as a fellow Bounty Hunter of Souls and Burning Skull Brother….are you thinking what I’m thinking….Bonehead Road Trip! High Five!
Ok, so I’ve plugged the route into the GPS of the damned and it says Hell on Earth is a mere 666 miles from here… hmmm..I thought we were already in Texas…Anywho, Flame on! Oh! Mustache Fire..Puh puh. I’m good..I’m good…let’s roll!
Alright, so I was thinking when we get there we should stick to the shadows because you will “face off” with some demons and as we all know; demons are notoriously night blind. So we should flame off when we get there. But heads up. I can’t flame on again because I flamed on for the last time for this Boneheaded Road Trip.
What’s that? Why didn’t I just ride with you and save my final flame on to help you fight the demons instead. Hmm…well that would have been smart…but we don’t have the budget for smart. No I don’t want any Jellies. Now get off your handlebars. No, that’s not how legends are born.
I should have just stayed home and tended my cemetery.
Ghost Rider (2007) – I’m gonna own this curse and watch it again. This is how Legends Are Born. #Hellementals
SHOW NOTES
That guy’s skull is on fire
It’s said that the West was built on Legends, tall tales that help us make sense of things too great or too terrifying to believe. This is the legend of….
Every generation has one. Collecting on the devil’s deals.
Worth 1000 evil souls!!
See ya chump! I’m out! on my burning horse!
The thing about Legends is…sometimes….they are true!
International Double Crossing, Murder and Mayhem hotline, how may we help you heap cold dishes of revenge upon your enemies sometime in the distant future after some elaborate possibly unnecessary scheming that involves plastic surgery, betrayal and ninjas….today? oh man…we really need to shorter our corporate phone greeting. Hello, are you there?
Right. Uh huh. Sure, we just happen to have a guy that specializes in heisting horse dolls made of gold. Oh sorry, horsey action figures. How much? Well, in addition to the base cost of your eternal soul and happiness we will be needing payment in the form of briefcases full of cash with whatever weird ass twist of a tip of your choosing.
What do I suggest as a good tip? Well, tell me what you have in mind and I’ll give you some feedback. Right…uh huh…sure…sure…I see what you are going for there. But in addition to having it delivered by a lady in a black dress…how about she says “Here’s your money honey” drops the briefcase and then strips down to her itty bitty bottoms, turns and walks away never to be seen or heard from again. Oh yeah..I like that…it sounds totally unnecessary and we love that shit around here. Ok, I think I have everything we need here. Talk to you in 3 years. Bye
Oh man…what an exciting phone call. phew…time to address my oral fixation..Smoke ’em if you got ’em!
LINKS
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0499556/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_(2007_film)
TWITTER
War (2007) – Like
SHOW NOTES
Bloody Violence!
That was fast…Does Jenny know? Cigarettes!
It is your oral fixation…
shot gun credits
462 days of no lost time?
Oh..they are in a serious situation…not just a couple of guys at a bus stop.
Quick cuts are us.
I am Jason Stathom…and I see things.
FBI…nooo…back up is on the way Tom
Geez is this a Woo film? woooo
Man in the shadows is ninja gunman.
Even in the light he is in the shadows
Took one to the face…I got him.
Triads…Yakuza…and so forth…bullshit story…Rogue is a phantom…
Foreshadowing…you never know who is working for whom…
Drinking and driving?
Game day…don’t forget the steaks. He forgot the steaks…it happened that one time again. He forgot the stakes of working for the FBI as well
Oh man…the Rogue really took that face shooting personal. Shot him in the face..and then made him watch him kill his wife and kids first and then burnt the house down. Geez Rogue Phantom
The rogue is roguish except for the titanium bullet shells…that he just leaves like a calling card.
3 years later…San Fran..
Black Light Boobies and Butt…hey hey hey hey…uh huh huh.
Killed them guards with his creadit card…platinum
Sure are a lot of skinny butt ladies in this movie
send in the dobermans. ohno!!
Tattoos for shirts.
Rogue is merciless…killed that poor doge with a bomb
Do you know what Shiro does to traitors…that’s right…bang to the head.
Yakuza…rings are kills.
The old thumb in the bullet hole wound.
Cop is my day job…doctor is my other job.
Rogue cost him his marriage…that is a good thing.
D.U. bullets
The Rogue cuts his face every 6 months…that is a lot of plastic surgery. What is the average recovery time for that…geez.
Shiro (Yakuza) killed Chang’s Family (Triads) and sold all of his shit except 2 statuettes that he is trying to sell currently. The Rogue was working for the Yakuza…maybe no so much now.
He doesn’t care about ancient feuds…
Closet full of black
7412…terrible code.
That’s my wife Maria…she is not a horse
These two are the Ti brothers…
Careful…don’t leave your ear unguarded
So did he get his ear reattached? or will that guy be our chick in the bucket
Don’t fail me daughter
Meanwhile, in Chinatown
No Benny’s here…wrong answer.
Interpol is down in ChinaTown.
Plastic surgeons dropping like loose skin off an old person
The horses are not real horses…they are cars? ohhh…that is all a ruse
This music is pretty generic…sound machine.
Never pay your extortion money up front.
Oh…they are horses…DON’T TOUCH THE HORSES Ti!
Ok…I want your to take the guy his money…and then take off your tiny black dress and walk away. You did great!
Sniper gun down the ventilation shaft…out of sight out of mind.
Agent Wick says “Hold on Motherf’er”…this mofo is out
Which way down is faster…this way!
Your stupidity insults my father
14 hour flight…need me a salad…chef salad…no blue cheese punk
Pain, Rage Loneliness.
Warehouse 16…you know the one
The eyes…the one thing the surgeons can’t change…but a pair of color contacts and some make up could.
“You will find only pain living in the past.”
What a 2007 looking hone.
I am still having trouble trying to figure out if the horses are an alliteration or not and if so…for what.
“Chasing Ghosts” that would have been a better movie title.
I don’t think you should be angry shooting at paper targets
Rogue has a thing for Maria?
Now you see my gun…now you don’t
What! I just realized that is Catalina from My Name is Earl
Triads hanging out at the local pizza and beer joint being angry.
Sure…I could hit you with a stick…but a burning stick!! Yeah!
Rogue just stirring up shit…so he can chase down the younger Joey Ti brother.
Tube fight! Tubes!
Uh oh…the Rookie is so dead.
Chang can not be shook. That is how he survives
Some strong smoking message here?
Spyker vroom.
“Now that is some spicy tuna…” hahaha jokes!
Stathom muscle car. All beef. Rogue is all class
oh no…not the muscle car!
Goi is right there! He ain’t the shooter!
This take down is going bad
Things I learned…don’t kill Stathom’s partners…he don’t like it.
“In Japan…you would be dead”
Jet Li’s “Eat Shit While Driving” is a lot of fun.
Stathom is all beef and anger
his name is Wu Ti – WOOOOTEEE
Rogue is still working for Shiro
That’s the order…there is no why
“I have no master”
He just ghost knifed ya…his other job is street magician.
he used to work for the CIA commissions to do surgery
Fate…choices…
If Rogue is in here…then who is the ninja outside!
Wu Ti doesn’t know about the gun under the desk.
Haha…poor Wu Ti…he took a lot of bullets
Never a good sign when a ninja is running away
You never leave the children to live after you kill their dad! That is classic for a revenge story 20 years later.
Rogue is a myth…a rumor.
Rogue does all the smooth things but forgets about FBI surveillance?
This week on… “Wait Is that Daniel Craig? Cause he looks a lot like Daniel Craig. Hmmm, does Daniel Craig have a brother? Is there a Danny Craig…..maybe a Donny Craig? Hold up…..that is Daniel Craig!?”….
uh oh, I think I just missed 15 minutes of the movie lost in some kind of Daniel Craig Brother Doppelganger mind loop… and for that brief moment… the world was just a little bit better for the possibility of two Craigs.
Twist ending he has a brother! Twisted Sister Ending he also has a sister. The Craigs….more interesting than this movie.
This week on Fuzz-sack It’s no accident the Bad Boys of film review chase down a group of hooded figures from The Actors’ Guild of Great Britain. In fact it was quite inevitable that we would get around to this satirical parody that features many classically Sackable films; Bad Boys II, Lethal Weapon, Die Hard and Point Break. We’ve sacked them all…and now this…
So sit back …grab those biscuits that you lifted from the local grocer and prepare yourself for some paperwork that looks a hell of a lot more exciting than it actually is.