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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

The Butterfly Effect (2004) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Dear Blackout Diary,

Today, I saw a baby checking the mail with his chubby little baby hands. Oh Baby, what could you possibly be expecting in the mail? Baby Food samples? Gerber life insurance for your questionable high risk baby lifestyle? Meh….maybe baby was just trying to intercept a letter intended for his mom about his adult like behavior at daycare? Well…that’s too much for my brain..BLACKOUT

Oh hey Blackout Diary one more thing. Why do all dads suck? I mean I feel like I am living in a Lifetime movie of the week where all the men are either crazy, sex offenders or just plain absent. It’s messed me up bad. This morning  I tried making cereal with a knife. BLACKOUT

Alrighty, Well, I gotta go…my crazy dad is choking me out. Ohh…this is the closest to a hug I have gotten from him in years. I’ll take it! I love you too daddy. gurgle BLACKOUT!

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0289879/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Butterfly_Effect

 

TWITTER

The Butterfly Effect (2004) – Like leaving a note on your girlfriend’s coffin that says “I’ll come back for you.”  Hey, you sure you want to leave that note for the grave diggers to find that night with no context? Blackout.

SHOW NOTES

The button fly effect.

It’s a butterfly chaos theory!

I can’t write things unless…I …say …them…out…loud

13 years earlier.

Mom has her mechanic suit on…and she fixed the car…but she needs to fix those brakes!

Too dangerous for dad to come out.

Hey…your kid drew a thing…..and it disturbs us.

Evan is an awesome artist! The subject is questionable…but the execution…amazing.

“Let’s look at your brain!” – Dr. Brain

What did his dad have?

When he was a kid he read his letters in his head when he wrote them.

See what a real father is like.

Evan…I got a knife….how did I get here?

“What are you doing with that knife?”….”I was just making some cereal”

Hey…let’s take some video with Eric Stoltz. This does not look like the usual Stoltz…

What kind of stress can a 7 year old have.

If your dad seems sleepy…it’s just the drugs!

…and I’m getting choked out.

Six years later.

Dads in this movie…suuuuck….I knew dad had a blockbuster down here.

Don’t blame it on the blackouts.

What is in the box! Popcorn at the movies.

Don’t you ever bring up the mailbox again.

I am beating up this guy…but I’m thinking of you.

That kid is one bad apple.

“I’ll come back for you.” WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? You gonna kill me?

I write notes…I write a lot of notes.

Seven Years Later….so that is 14 years later…that is in the future. We are all in the same TimeZone. So this is after. No…it was 6 years and then 7 years…so I guess that is solid.

Bad Date Evan…Bad Date

Lenny has problems…..Lenny’s room.. Evan wants to remember and Lenny wants to forget.

Holy hell…Lenny can be scary.

Blackout Journals…

FUUU…Who let’s their baby check the mail!

Evan’s roommate is a freak.

ooohh…his dad was your exact age when he tried memory regression.

I bet she stanks. Working at the diner all night…smoking.

She emancipated…and mom had a new family and not enough room

His sister killed herself?

Duuuude….do not put a note on an uncovered coffin that says “I will come back for you”…are you trying to freak out the grave guys.

I have an idea….let’s go down to the basement…yeah…never a good idea.

Evan doing the walk of shame.

Nosebleeds are for suckers.

Dude…you screwed up your life…you are all sorority and crap now.

Oh no…you killed Tommy!

They would for sure not put you in a max prison for killing someone who was trying to kill you.

When they come for you…go somewhere else in your head.

Mom…you didn’t bring my journals!! MOM…I’m in prison…

What prison is this…every single person is tougher than you.

He’s not very good at beating up anything…except his pillow.

“Hey Kids…Imagine what you want to be.” How about a murderer…also…Stigmata paper punch!

Duh…you ain’t smart if you pull your pants down

Never give Lenny a weapon with vague instructions.

Hey Lenny…can I get you anything? Like a shard?

This final form with no hands is really the best for everyone except Evan. Suck it up Evan. Here…hold this Granola bar.

So I am assuming all of his journals are gone.

Oh man…he is way too happy to find out his mom has lung cancer. Thats right…now I can fix my hands and blame it on mom’s cancer.

His dad used photo albums. Does Butterfly Effect 2 and 3 go back to the dad’s stories.

Eight Years later. In the city. So we go back 13. Forward 6. Then Forward 7. Then forward 8.

Poor Lenny….he loses a lot.

This movie should have been called “Bad Dads” Where was Lenny’s dad? Evan Dad tried to strangle his. Kayleigh and Tommy were sexual abused.

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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Van Helsing (2004) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

And thank you for agreeing to meet me in the woods of Transylvania to execute the worst plan ever. Ok, so here is the deal, we are going to tie my brother up to that stake over there in the clearing to lure out the Lycan…that’s a werewolf or “wolfman” for you basic village folk. By the way, I learned that word on the set of Underworld…oh and this….I learned this too…look at my bottom…look at it…ok…stop…Where did you guys get guns? I thought you were pitchfork and sickle people.

Well it doesn’t really matter, because I only brought the one silver bullet. So don’t shoot your guns. I repeat. Do not shoot your guns. as a matter of fact just give me the guns. give them to me. The only real harm you can create with those guns is if you shoot my brother or the elaborate pulley system we have set up. So don’t do it.

Alright, speaking of Pulleys…The pulley system is the hottest tech going in Transylvania today. In fact we will be showcasing it a lot in our movie…err…everyday tragic lives. So get used to these overly complex and often broken Pulley systems and by the end of this movie you will beg the Devil to never see another Pulley stunt again.

“In the name of God. Stop this movie!”

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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Catwoman (2004) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh, hi meow.

Midnight talent agency how may I claw your eyes out today? Purr Purr.

Oh my yes, Mrs. Berry would love to be in your movie. Meow Meow

What’s that? What are her qualifications? Meow Meow.

Well she has 10’s of minutes of experience with cats. Meow. I would even go so far as to say she is a sort of cat-spert. Meow. Why I saw her just this morning looking at cat pics on the internet. Meow. It’s Caturday after all…Meow Meow.

Excellent I’ll let her know. and yes we do accept payment in the form of cans of tuna. Purr Purr.

What’s that? Sharon Stone is also casted. Hiss. Well  then we are going to need some extra cans of tuna and a scratching post in Mrs. Berry’s dressing room. but no need for a shower in her trailer. She is going to mouth bathe herself after eating 8 cans of tuna on her bed. So sexy. Meow Meow

Alright, I got to go lick my butt for 2 hours. Talk to you later meow.

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Filmsack Notes Thoughts

Around The World In 80 Days (2004) : Filmsack – Notes

Around The World In 80 Days (2004)

Intro:

As you guys know…I have a wife for everyday of the week.  But good news! I’ve decided to divorce Tuesday wife for more sacking! Viva La Filmsack. Now if you will excuse me. I have to go urinate in public and re-attach this mans nipples. Don’t worry. I’m going to wash my hands before and after each…because otherwise that would be gross. Lord Salisbury stop pointing at my thinker!

Links:

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0327437

WIKIPEDIA: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Around_the_World_in_80_Days_(2004_film)

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlsgwJUNFNU

JUSTWATCH: https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/around-the-world-in-80-days

Twitter:

Around The World In 80 Days (2004) – Like taking a “Steamer” to London captained by a man with no nipples. Wear the rubber underpants!

Notes:

That China-Man is robbing the bank of England.

The Steam Punk Conehead

Wear the rubber pants

Trope: Agree to a dangerous job to avoid apprehension / Oh you must be the Servant from Servant Co that I was expecting.

Crazy backyard scientist….

Flubber and movies of this like use Steam powered science that is more akin to bubbly soda

Nothing funnier than the ole face punch through a painting where the painting face should be.

I don’t think they know what a Valet is. or perhaps I do not

Ramsey invented the slinky in the late 1800s and was put in the lunatic asylum.

Impregnable vs impenetrable.

As adjectives the difference between impenetrable and impregnable is that impenetrable is not penetrable while impregnable is too strong to be penetrated or impregnable can be capable of being impregnated.

Lord Salisbury

A woman in the Royal Academy!

The Jade Buddha

Little Red Rule Book

I got to admit…I laughed at Passport Two…passepartout

Turns on with a whistle.

Was 50 miles per hour ever really a barrier?

The whisper game

Elderly Norwegians with very tiny feet

Fortnight (2 weeks)

These British have the best teeth of any British I have seen in the late 1800s

Challenge extended. Challenge accepted.

Everyone has a price…or do they.

The wager…no more science…or all the science. Royal Academy of Science head…sounds like a lot of work.

Sitting in my copper tub….thinking about my poor choices.

Keep getting this movie confused with Shanghai Knights

Nothing funnier than seeing an authoritarian figure being drug down the road by a horse/car

Me Brain’s Leaking!

Trope: Asian lady who is good with knives

Ahh…the early years of 3d animation. Nice twist on the map travel interstitials or transitions though

Wait a moment! This is not science…it is art.

Grass is not charcoal.

Man is not a chicken….The Van Gogh loop was very popular in France during the late 1800s

You dream of flying and naked men?

Women are getting pushed out everywhere.

Old French ladies are always trying to take a bite out of Jackie Chan

Old French lady taking a face plant made me laugh.

Brothel humor makes me laugh. No it does not.

Ahh…Jackie Chan…saving sleeping ladies from their own incompetence

The statue is grabbing his trousers! It also has dreams of flying and naked men.

Jackie Chan getting pants is always good humor.

Jackie Chan is the bumbling fool that has skills…the police man is just bumbling

Fogg is smitten with fancy hoes.

A wild Arnold appears.

What a weird choice for Istanbul prince?

I never think when I am naked…

Arnold does not like you pointing at his thinker.

Bathing suits are weird.

A wife for each day of the week. But what if I want to be single on Tuesdays!

They are taking the idea of Fat Cats to the highest degree.

Lord Kelvin is cold.

Cross Dressing is always funny …especially when trying to escape in a crowd. except that it is not and always ends with the hunter being smitten with the prey until they realize…and the pursuit continues

Man of many chains…you do not want to go against…the man of many chains

Sake and Dominos

Perhaps one of the most violent Disney movies since Flubber

Drunk China-man..

kanpai! is that also a Chinese cheer? or just Japanese.

Chinese: Nien Nien nu e. Kong Chien
Chinese: Yung sing (“drink and win”)
Chinese Cantonese: Gom bui (“dry the cup”)
Chinese Mandarin: Gan bei (“dry the cup”)

I went back…she is saying Gom Bui…possibly Gan bei.

Chan, surveying the pre-show chaos, periodically contributed comments in a mishmash of English, Mandarin, and Cantonese, the language of his native Hong Kong. “I’ve forgotten how to speak Cantonese!” he said. In Beijing, where he lives now, Mandarin is spoken. He leaned over to a young Chinese-American visitor nearby.

That is one convenient story-telling dresser..it has pictures and letters and everything to easily explain everything for Fogg…who is an idiot.

Fogg…the last to know.

Screaming China-Man….”Please let me go. I am bored!”

Ding Ding Ding….no no…Ding Dang Dong…Passpourtout

Mr. Grumpy and the leatherettes

Your silly bracelet.

French ladies like to spit.

This is some good fighting.

Jackie Chan has his ass stuck in a cart. Go home to momma.

10 Tigers!

Chair and Ladder assists are always in Jackie Chan fighting.

I really admire the Chinese people. They always seem to put a lot of work in…that’s why I hate to see someone get thrown into a pile of collected work…like when I a Chinese citizen sorts all those skittles by color just to have a bad guy get tossed into it. ugh.

Public Urinater got to do what a public urinater got to do. I think I got some pee pee on me.

an hour and 20 minutes in and act 2 is over…time for act 3

Does this wall ever end? It’s like some kind of great wall. Perhaps you will run into Matt Damon. I wish a I had a valet

I’m such a Rutabaga.

Drug broker.

Alms…for the poor?

A wild Rob Schneider appears…and smells like a dead horse.

I’ll cut you with my wooden spoon! You devil worshipping drawer.

Got to be a record for Cameos in a Filmsack movie.

Where are the Flying Men! The bird men are coming.

A man who lives what he dreams

So did Disney just have a few actors on payroll they needed to use?

haha….was sad when I realized this was not Shanghi Knights…then happy again when Cowboy Owen Wilson showed up…then sad again when Luke Wilson appeared.

Crazy English Wanna Be Cowboy Man….get out the way.

America loves a good wager

Taking a “Steamer” to London.

That was one epic battle.

She is the 11th Tiger and Finally…a lady punches a lady out.

Formula…The Threesome. Man/Woman romance and Third Wheel who has a seperate agenda but is friends with both man and woman.

How many filmsack films have The Statue of Liberty in them?

Did we do Ghostbusters 2?

Captain no nips hasn’t gotten any since the shark attack

Most people would laugh at you. not us. We care about you

Birds is the idea…burn birds.

New nipples for a boat. You had me at the nipples

Those poor sailors…stuck at sea with a captain with no nipples.

As most American Technology of the late 1800s…powered by a china-man

It’s a slinky…fun for Lord Kelvin

Look out for darts in the back

Street people are afraid of bird people….

We didn’t go to New Zealand

I’m a battered Lord

Big fat royal bottom!

She’s behind me isn’t she.

In another timeline…the queen of England hobbles James Caan…and in another she takes a sit in a hot tub with Jack Nicholson.

I am not even going to try to figure out timezones.

 

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Filmsack Notes

Stand By Me (1986) (Show Notes)

Stand By Me (1986)  –

Like Patrick Beja knocking up my cat & knocking over my trash. At first I would be pissed…but then I would have Beja Kitties to cuddle so it’s all good.

[usr 5.0] *WARNING : My show notes are unrated. I do not censor my thoughts while making notes. Listen Now

– FilmSack Edition

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stand_by_Me_(film)

Opener: Oh hi, Normally each week I try to make you think with a humorous anecdote followed by a random thing. Not this week. Instead I am going to depress those of you who saw this movie as a kid with a thought that occurred to me. More time has passed since this movie was released than the time that passed between 1959, the time period which this movie took place, and 1986 when the film was released.  Also, Skroat Leech…makes me pass out every time.

Stand by Me (1986)

R  |   |  Adventure, Drama  |  22 August 1986 (USA)

.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092005/

 

Stuff I Loved:

So Netflix and Chill

Safari Jeep!

Soft and slow Stand by me.

Attorney Christopher Chambers! Noooo.

Mormons! Nah…just some kids on a  bike.

12 Going on 13…dead human being.

It was the summer of fifty nine

Castle Rock! That is Stephen King area

All the 50s music

Lousy Frenchmen knocking up my dog.

Eddie has a smoking problem and has a father with fits of rage…Look at that ear!

River Phoenix I miss you.

Roll me up some pants.

The fat square kid who gets excited.

Did you guys have a tree house

Smoking in a tree house! that’s a good plan.

You didn’t deal yourself no pat hand!

You want to get some 12 year old’s attentions…ask them if they want to see a dead body.

Worst map maker ever if you can’t remember a map to under your front porch

Ray Browder went to pick blueberries…no return.

Train tracks. I had train tracks in the woods behind my house when I was 12. Used to throw rocks at the cars and leave pennies on the track.

Tenting out in the back field.

It’s worth a hiding.

Always have to jiggle the fat guy.

Richard Dreyfus is depressing me.

4 months is an eternity to a 12 year old. Just a blink of the eye for grieving parents.

3 stooges reference.

Why can’t you be more like your dead brother…

Pants patches.

Pants with no belts…who are these people!

Kids and guns…12 year…Jeeebus!

You wet head?

Also, the gun is always loaded. Unless it ain’t

Were the actors already amazing at this time? or did Rob Reiner just have a knack? or did he help guide these kids?

You don’t take a dudes hat.

The walking ass kick.

Hey Beave? who brought the Beave?

Yeah yeah…yeah yeah….yeah yeah

Jerry Connel.

I don’t know any walking songs. TV theme songs are not available to today’s youth.

You guys gonna starve? you been walking through half a tv theme song.

2.37. That’ll buy 12 Moons Pies and 20 Pepsi Colas.

Teddy wants to die. How is facing a train like the beeches of Normandy?

Trains make any conversation more intense.

Skin it…Skin it bitch. I imagine they have some pretty sweaty hands by now.

Mailbox baseball…that is a good way to get shot.

Poor Verne’s mom.

Chopper…sick balls. Still remember that from my childhood.

Wil can’t run.

12 years olds watching The Mouse Club?

I haven’t had a canteen since I was a kid. is Canteen shape really the most efficient way to carry water?

4 tails is a goocher.

Morophodite…

Mother jokes.

QUidolicious? Quidage?

Milk for dinner…growing boys.

I need to shop at more stores that keep pickled things in jars.

Why would you sic your down on a kid.

Crazier than a shit house rat…that is pretty crazy…and smelly.

I learned a lot of insults from this movie. Rob Reiner is a sicko.

These kids are filthy.

Jerry always tries to bring the fun.

Razortoos. Cobrassss

Boy you don’t know nothing.

Superman Vs Mighty Mouse

Being a creative sucks in the 60s

No…not the comb!

Verne lays down…I would kill him.

That was the most intense thing ever in a movie.

Hershey Squizzes? what did he say?

If this was a modern movie one of these kids would be trying to get a phone signal.

It’s not his fault…it’s his glands.

The Radio man was king during this period of history.

Everybody loves a fatass

Too many people in that audience are in unison.

That is less about eating a pie and more about smooshing your face into a pie.

Castor Oil…in a very non descript bottle that says Castor oil…where are the ingredients?

and one large egg?

Booooing.

Grody to the max….Poor Boss Man.

Benevolent Order Of Antelopes

We are starting think maybe you should just take shop instead of making up puke stories Gordo.

Filmsack roundtable discussions – What is Goofy?  Name one food for the rest of your life?

That is a lot of coyotes!

Watch Cop Car !!

I’ve seen too many shows about parasites to enjoy Gordo walking in the woods barefoot.

What milk money did he take? Old lady Simon was a bitch. That must have been one awesome skirt.

3 out of the 4 kids have cried in this movie. But not Gordo…not even at his brother’s funeral.

Gordo ain’t human.

Gang Busters Comic!

What was the deer? a sign? why didn’t he ever speak of it? Was it his brother?

It was hot and those guys are filthy…..why didn’t they take advantage of the leaky water tower?

That was a pretty worn path leading away from the tracks to the woods.

Pabst!

Fishing, Drinking, Smoking, Insulting Moms and listening to the radio

Can you get famous by finding a dead body.

Oh gawrd…I hate muddy mud mud.

Jerry is wearing a belt.

Not great outdoorsmen. Probe the water with a stick 2 feet from the bank…it may get deeper.

Leeches…oh deer jeebus

Skroat Leech…makes me pass out everytime.

I find it hard to believe that Wil Wheaton grows up to look like Richard Dreyfus

You cock knocker…ehehahah

Wow…that was easy to find Ray….There he is!

And the 4th one falls…

We got dibs.

What kind of nickname is eyeballs?

Son of a whore.

Ace brought a knife to a gun fight.

All them gangster comics have prepared him just for this.

Suck my fat one.

What were there plans on taking the body back anyways?

Walking for 2 days. I can barely walk for 2 hours

School is going to be hell.

Have Gun Will Travel…

Chris finally got stabbed. Knew fast food would be the end of him

Getting a Doogie Howser Vibe from the terminal screen.

You guys are my friends at 12 years old.

 

 

Categories
Filmsack Notes

National Treasure (2004) (Show Notes)

National Treasure (2004)  –

Like sitting through the entire movie credits roll….just in case there is a Sean Bean death scene.

No? how about

Like 2 hours of Adam West Batman trying to help Robin get there…I could condescend for hours.


[usr 5.0]
*WARNING : My show notes are unrated. I do not censor my thoughts while making notes. Listen Now

– FilmSack Edition

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Treasure_(film)

Opener: Oh hi, Listen, if Nicholas Cage asks you to get into his “smuggler’s hole” and blow on his “National Treasure” to reveal an secret message…well…the message is… you’ve made some pretty bad life choices buddy. Also, avoid Jon Voight’s Anaconda… this movie is not for the dirty minded.

as Nicholas Cage says… I could condescend for hours…

.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0368891/?ref_=nv_sr_1

 

Stuff I Loved:

 

Washington 1974

Movie dust.

Grampa scary face!

You should know the story.

“On a night much like this….”

Damn you masons!

I want to see Andrew Jackson.

My Grandfather’s Grandfather…that’s like Grandfather to the 4th power

The Knights’ Templar…

Everybody was a mason.

That kid is really focused on Grandfather’s story.

The secret lies with Charlotte….that slut

Nicholas Cage is knighted

Sean Bean….wonder if he will die

I broke a whole Nike store’s worth of Shoe laces to end up watching this turd.

You are right…you are no expert.

Hey! I found something with my metal detector.

Good guys wear black….bad guys wear white.

Hey Sean Bean…what do you reckon is in these gun powder barrels? gun powder you say?

One eyed Willie…

That is one serious smoking pipe.

Man you would look like a fool smoking that pipe. How pretentious.

Blood letting in movies. Have you ever had to cut yourself…fuck that shit…well now that you bled all over the priceless pipe…I guess it is yours.

Let me walk around and ask myself questions about this riddle…

This is about as bad as Batman in the 60s where Burt Ward was always talking out riddles and trying to make Robin think…think Robin!

A resolution….A resolution…

Sean Bean is always wanting to “borrow” shit.

Sean can catch…he can catch ON FIRE!

get out of my smugglers hole

Stop riddling me Batman…why are you always talking down to me.

Blue Jeans and a sports coat.

Gawd he is such a button know it all.

The uncomfortable conversation. We are not crazy!

and the music plays softly…I stand up…

Oh…I bet that scene will be in the trailer!

Let me show you how it can’t be done…cause you are crazy…

I found 2000 ways to not make a lightbulb.

The Heist montage. Let me explain this while you watch these oddly shot interstitials that contain a lot of wipes and things opening and closing over some funky intense yet playful music

Does the music ever stop in heist movies…it’s exhausting

The black tie affair in the heist movies.

….entrails cut out and BURNED!

Throwing a chain into

a fan…that is not how that would turn out.

Sean Bean has lasted longer than I would have thought.

Valley Forge you bunch of dumbasses.

“The get out of there now moment..” during heist movies.

If I saw a bunch of bullet holes in the Declarations case I would assume they were shooting at it to get it out…not someone using it as a shield.

Quiet please…I need to pace and talk out loud.

Shutup please.

One doesn’t simply solve a riddle. He must condescend while doing it.

Why would there be a rule of thumb of secret maps…upper right hand corner.

Grody…why would you hot breath it in someone’s face.

Lucky bad guy.

Solving riddles all day

The movie search engine.

Heist movies always have at least “shifted” time moment. Uh oh…they are almost at the same location! they are going to catch them…nope…they already left.

Spectacles…are those the same ones that was in the Transformers?

Hey, I found Waldo! Outside the liberty bell place.

The Trade and the double cross.

Things just got real. Dead guy falling

No treasure…Treasure…no treasure.

Hey, that is a ship shaped hole.

Dad is finally on board…all the feels and the heals.

Spiders have been busy down here. Goes to show you…if you leave a place alone long enough…a spider will come build a web.

Maybe this room leads to the treasure. nope…this room?