Yeah…this Mike…but hey don’t call me by my real name on an unsecured line…refer to me by my callsign….Big Mac
Right. Right. Wow, that is a lot to take in. Listen, I’m a bit disposed at the moment so could you sum this up and make it like my preference of underwear…yeah that’s right…briefs.
So How bad is it? “The Front fence has been breached. There’s a C-130 burning on the South Lawn…and a gunfight raging on the North….” Yeah…that’s bad. What’s the good news? Morgan Freeman is now President. Well I’m not seeing a problem here. Let’s just cut our loses and build a new White House with Morgan Freeman as the President. Job done! Call it a day.
oh…they have the kid?…Alright….Let me finish up here then….GRUNTS….MORE GRUNTS….Ahhhh….The Package is in the pool. I repeat…the package is in the pool. Operation Taco Drop is a success and I am initiating “jiggle the handle” protocol. Uh oh…not good…this day went from bad to shit.
Olympus Has Fallen (2013) – Like Owen Wilson said in Armegeddon… “Scariest Environment Imaginable. Thanks -That’s all you gotta say. Scariest Environment Imaginable” Wow
- Is this the movie about White House Down?
- I hope this movie doesn’t suck
- Nice Font Choice?
- Meanwhile up at Camp David in the snow
- Red,White and Blue Boxing
- “He likes it when you call him Dries?”
- Christmas time is a great Action Movie time
- “Mustang, this is Big Top, Bringing out the Full Package.”
- This is a horrible idea. Driving in the snow. Right Diaz?
- Gee…I wonder if that kid will have to use all that Mike knowledge about the White House?
- Ice freezes on Bridges…also, where did that limb come from?
- Seat-belts get stuck a lot in movies. What’s the numbers in real life?
- The Package is in the pool. I repeat…the package is in the pool.
- 18 months later … also, July 5th
- Apparently, he is absent. He don’t go to July 4th BBQ with his girl
- Watching the flashbacks makes me realize that he should have been quicker to pull out that knife and cutting seat-belts. Mike
- How in the hell did the president eat all the Rocky Road in the white house last time?
- Mike doesn’t roll into this job at the Treasury Department until around 10:15AM…sounds like he traded up
- Ooooh. So Mike told Speaker of the House (Morgan Freeman) to go F* Himself
- Mike clocks out around 7PM?
- Code 9-9-9
- That plane is up to no good!
- I like to think that the Capital has Anti-Aircraft concealed in the roof.
- Oh man…this movie done got violent. How does a plane of this type reach right into the heart of the capital with only 1 encounter with the Air Force?
- Oh…they just gonna blow themselves up…so we got suicide bombers and hide in plain sight terrorists with a variety of firearms…like 20 or 30 of them…and a bomb on a bus.
- Have you seen Connor! Where is the president’s kid!
- Meanwhile down at the Pentagon…How bad is it? “Front fence has been breached. We’ve got a C-130 burning on the South Lawn…and a gunfight raging on the North….” F*CKING SH*T is right
- Release the hounds!
- Sniper…let me show you how to snipe with a pistol
- Forbes…what are you doing Forbes…
- …and now an army of trash trucks.
- We gonna ground these trash trucks…
- No Tim…you were our good friend.
- PEOC has gone offline…
- To quote Owen Wilson from Armegeddon… “Scariest Environment Imaginable. Thanks -That’s all you gotta say. Scariest Environment Imaginable”
- Whaaa…Scary Korean guy don’t need glasses!
- as Brian Ibbott says in this movie…”They’ve taken the White House.”
- I got to say…it seems like it would be a lot easier to take the president hostage anywhere other than the White House.
- Dangit…don’t you bring up 1812 the day after The 4th of July
- I watched this movie on the 5th of July…am I patriotic or what?
- I got to believe that we would just blow up the White House before letting someone rule the roost.
- Really not a fan of Rugged Good Looks Ross.
- Play that somber music!
- Smuggy Smuggington. It takes 15 minutes for armed forces to reach the White House…we took it down in 13.
- “Hey…what was that sound…oh…it was death..”
- A pic of Connor!! Noooo. I’m only here to be emotionally invested in innocent kids.
- Mr. Kang!!
- Wow…he still has a lot of clearance to use his thumb to reactivate.
- Chopped off the tip of the Washington Monument.
- “What’s the going rate for souls these days?”
- Forbes is so GQ
- Well Mr. Speaker is now the President.
- I really don’t see the problem. You got Morgan Freeman as the president…time to cut your loses and build a new White House in Virginia
- Echelon 4…Banning.
- Took a Lincoln to the head.
- Cerberus…So change the codes. uh…hello….
- Damnit Truman…you had to do upgrades to the walls…he’s in the walls…and with that info all the Koreans start creeping slowly towards the walls.
- Is the kids designation “Spark Plug?” or is that something Mike just likes to say.
- Don’t tell the kid “I will see you on the other side…” I’m sure that is what they told him about his mom.
- Spark Plug received…now time to get real.
- Mother killed by America Bomb
- How do they have a picture of Mr. Kang if no one has ever taken a picture?
- “Hey Asshole” Classic
- Let’s play a game of “F*ck off” You go first.
- Not even under presidential order would I give codes.
- This is so Die Hard…Conversation with the traitor because you trust him.
- How can Rugged Ross not fight any better than that. I thought he was an agent like Mike.
- Kang is such a cartoon bad guy…he should have gotten all the codes like in 5 minutes. He is conveniently absent for minutes at a time.
- Hydra Weapon? That’s some slow ass weapon.
- Hydra 6
- Hydra 6 is 4 sentries…Taking out Tigers.
- How can such a fast weapon on deployed be so shit slow getting to its destination
- We do not negotiate with Terrorist…
- Why would you take the most resistant hostage. Uh oh.. Video feed is down….that means they need a new camera
- Zag…Zig…Do something
- Mike is John Wicking this house…
- Dumbass…dur…how did the President not see that coming. That was the first thought. Launch the missiles dumbasses….like fire them to the space.
- This has to be the stupidest president ever.
- Finally…they shot the President…now finally Morgan Freeman can take his rightful place.
- Don’t help President..
- Knife to the brain…just like I called it.
- OMG…Backslash Niner! HASHTAG! Who made this password!
- Suck it Cerberus…now take this stupid shit offline.
Congratulations… you found a crappy movie….on Netflix. Alright…sorry…sarcasm it’s kind of our go to thing around here. But to answer your question Mr. Ferry Man. Yes. The Filmsack Crew would be more than happy to help you recover the crappy movie you saw floating around on Netflix. It’s practically all we do!
So can you describe the movie for us? A giant floating turd. Ok…Well, I think that is all I need to know.
Say….could you Excuse us Mr. Ferry Man…I just need a quick Filmsack Crew Sidebar. Hey guys…I don’t think we should do this one. It sounds like this Mr. Ferry Man wants us to watch a giant floating turd. I mean I know that is what we do week in and week out…but what if it’s one of those Ghost Turds…You know what I’m talking about…you do all the prep work but then when you look back…poof …nothing…just an empty bowl. Wait…what was I talking about. Sorry guys…I’ve been constipated for 2 weeks…I think I think I may be septic.
Now get off my damn TugBoat
Ghost Ship (2002) – Like a box full of gold hording rats. What tha… Two decapitated thumbs up. oh no. Thumbs down.
- Get off my damn tug boat
- A punch in the port bloater?
- Congratulations…you found a boat..in the ocean.
- Heading down to the docks and gonna get myself a crew.
- Oh no…the straights
- Well that came up quickly..OCEAN LINER!
- It’s the Antonio
- We named our TugBoat Artic Warrior
- Under the Law of the Sea…she’s ours
- 40 years…all the life boats are gone…and no one every found anyone.
- Yay…Jump Scare Clock Chime
- Rich Folks from Europe died here.
- That Rubic Rope is the best.
- Everything is trying to kill Karl Urban…including Karl Urban
- Karl Urban…Chewing Gum and Smoking Cigarette’s…I think they told him to act annoying.
- Spooky Ghost Ship Story by the Captain
- There was a shootout in the pool!
- A digital watch!
- That pool drank her blood and then oozed it back out.
- Pretty sure you don’t drink an open glass on a 40 year old table.
- “That’s the happy version”
- Dead bodies come dumping out like dead body diarrhea.
- These rats are hording gold! You do not want to take the rat horde’s box of gold bars.
- Mr. Giggle Time Ferriman..the box is going to be full of gold..yep!
- Somebody has to say…and it might as well be me…this ship is f*ck’d up
- This is less Ghost Ship and more Final Destination Ship
- Tug Tug no more…Tug Boat on down
- Emily Browning tried to tell you
- This first mate is no Gilligan. He will pump you in the face.
- Shelf life of a can of beans…1 year…that is like 39 years too long…do not eat 40 year old beans because they are probably maggots.
- Poor bored Emily Browning…you think you are bored during a 2 hour dance…wait till you are stuck on a Ghost Ship for 40 years…
- She hung herself
- Why are they clapping for the First Mate.
- When you are dead you know when someone is dead.
- 1 survivor on the Loralyedele
- ?When he has filled his quota…we set sail…Katie is not like the others.
- Santos thought he had 1000 virgins at the pearly gates?
- Ghost Tits get you dead every time.
- Karl Urban always plays rock…
- A ship of theives
- She got fish hooked.
- Not sure if I have ever seen a rock montage like this to explain everything
- is he the devil of the sea?
- Murphy looks like a dead beta fish.
- Oh Dodge…no Gold baby…no gold.
- Ferriman is really good at flipping his switch
- The souls are free!!
- What constitutes a full boat?
- So she didn’t kill herself? They hung her?
- the effects were very scooby doo movie
Cut! Ok, David…no not you in the green suit holding the tennis ball on a stick pretending to be a spider. David Arquette. Yes you. A word please. Look, I love the energy you are bringing to the set today. It’s 100% better than the wet blanket acting you were doing yesterday. Oh… you did did you. You looked up acting tips on Yahoo last night did ya? Oh you mean the number one search engine for 2002. Ahhh…well that explains it. So you decided to go with the “Acting is Reacting” method like you seen in the WWF…which is still the WWF because it is 2002. Bravo.
Now stop it. Bad David! Bad! What’s that? No! You’re the 2 legged freak! Ya 2 legged freak! Oh you want to get physical. Alright…Let’s go…I’ll rip that stripper’s bikini area right off your adorable little face and then write a barber scene into the movie to explain it’s disappearance. Oh you think I won’t! I’ll do it right now…gimmie a piece of paper…”Alight…Scene: Chis sits in the barber chair…Floyd the barber…yeah that’s right..Floyd the Barber…that’s all the effort I’m putting into it David.”
And that’s what really happened on set…True story.
Directed by Ellory Elkayem. With David Arquette, Kari Wuhrer, Scott Terra, Scarlett Johansson. Venomous spiders get exposed to a noxious chemical that causes them to grow to monumental proportions.
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Eight Legged Freaks (2002) – Like sucking on a hose full of radioactive spiders. phft phft pass me those Doritos.
This is a story of Monsters.
Wake up people! Wake up people before it’s too late.
“Say something with caffeine in it.”
So often am I hauling off nuclear waste and it ends up in the local lake…pond…pool.
One Week Later….
Meanwhile down at the Spider Farm…
“I see dead people…”
These crickets are nuclear big.
Only in the movies can a middle aged eccentric store owner, scientist, cop, theater owner be best friends with an 11 year old and it not be questioned. It’s the modern day apprenticeship role that no longer exists in our society.
It’s on me ! Get it off.
Another Week Later….
Meanwhile on a bus heading to town. The prodigal Sonny.
This music is 90s..but this movie came out in the 2000s
ScoJo! So young.
uh huh…Joshua is deead.
Prop 101…this is a town meeting and not wwf.
Old Man McCormick is dead…oh. hey…it’s Chris McCormick. Gone for 10 years.
Poor Pete…Everybody pushes Pete around.
Zeke the cat put up a good fight…that is not how drywall works…but neat
Chris beats up a lot of people.
Emma left Pete….Poor Pete…I have an intolerance to dairy…I’m just a little bit mucussy right now.
Ouch. Trailer Trash Sheriff.
Look at that tech! Is that a Windows Powered PDA?
What is this kids passion? Spiders? Research? Reporter? Adventurer? Scientist?
Why don’t I have a Study?
They never believe the kid…
Who the hell sucks on a hose that is clogged? Who does that?
Oh cripes…he sucked up those giant baby spiders!
So the mayor is in on the contaminated waste racket…after his frustration with all the get rich quick schemes of Chris’ dad.
He has an Ostrich farm…which is good eating for giant spiders.
Let’s talk about the probe…let’s talk about the anal probe.
eek Shock to the nuts.
Brett really is all about himself. He was perfectly fine for that truck driver to die to save his bacon.
Dirt bikes…2002…that was more of a 90s thing I thought.
Was Gladys’ house attached to the mines?
it’s my Media induced paranoid delusional nightmare
If acting is reacting…then David Arquette is doing some serious acting!!
Lee Harvey Oswald Rifle. Why do we have that? I do not know.
Just trying to give a shave. Floyd and some guy. Leroy? Bob?
Continuity error. When Floyd is running from Bob’s death you can see someone has already busted out the front window with the hat rack
I hate jumping spiders.
Finally shaved that thing off his face.
These spiders have an off sound when running around.
Let’s all meet down at the mall.
oh man…the Doritos bag from 2002 looks a lot older than I would have imagined.
KFRD has 4 more payments on that shit.
These spiders sound like gremlins
The sound fx in this movie are weird.
Those citizens outside…screw those guys…we got the gate closed.
“Let’s listen to the kid…for once.” – Chris
the plan. Head to the roof and hook up to the antenna.
Wade the mayor is going to sneak out.
This has to be the most accurate shots fired ever.
Damnit Norman the Mall Maintenance guy.
Vote yes on Prop 101
I would have preferred this movie being told from Pete’s perspective
Harland really has a thing about Anal Probes
What is Brett and Wade’s relationship? Dad? Step-Dad?
Chris can’t even kick out a air grate. weak
Floyd the pitchfork barber. Coward!
Chris knows mine stuff.
Methane gas. No Sparks.
Stupid Norman and his poor vision…we all know it would be the death of him.
Follow the cables!
This town is full of no good nicks. They will leave you to die in a skinny minute…except Chris…Your town has to be pretty shitty to make David Arquette the hero.
How did Chris know the Spider’s name? I don’t recall anyone telling him that. He also keeps telling people to listen to the kid. Is he some kind of time traveler when the kid is all grown up?
He totally did not check all the cocoons.
Gold Mines…what a weird ending.