Oh hi, Question One: What secret in the Wachowski’s 2012 movie adapted from a book would be worth killing 3 hour for? Question Two: Is it reasonable to believe that this movie would not require me to turn on Closed Caption on Netflix to unlock that secret…a secret that is perhaps hidden in the True True language? maybe so…maybe no…and if so… Question Three: What in the F…. name of Old Georgie hisself am I doing here?
Uh oh. Hold on a second guys…Who comes a rapping at my high rise apartment chamber door?….oh hi… Hey, listen guys…it’s the Wachowskis! They are banging trays and I do believe they intend to throw me off the balcony for what I done said about their movies over the year. I Gotta go….Speed Racer suuuuucked!
Cloud Atlas (2012) – Like being slowly poisoned by a toothy Tom Hanks. Will the suffering never end!! Yay it’s over. Let’s watch it again!!
Don’t start your movie with jibberish.
Closed Caption it is.
Question One: What Secret? Question Two: and if so…question 3…what the F am I doing here?
Civilized folk are hot because they are wearing 3 layers of wool and cotton.
It’s too hot for a whipping.
He passed out from worms?
“A tiger cannot change his stripes.”
The night of the Lemon Prizes
Let me get your attention by banging these trays together.
Woah…Finch is flying.
Found it . The thread to follow is not the actors but the stories that inspire (The Atlas?). Starting with Adam Ewing’s journal (only half) that is passed onto Robert Frobisher and then the letters he wrote to his lover are passed onto Luisa Rey (only parts and she hears the Cloud Atlas in the record store) her life is chronicled by her child neighbor (Jonas) in a story titled Half-Lives (A Lousisa Rey Mystery) which is read on the train by Cavendish (partially?) Cavendish life is portrayed by an actor (Hanks) in a film after Cavendish’s death and viewed in part by Sonmi-451. Sonmi goes on to inspire revolution and her words are echoed in the Teachings that Zachary learns but only in part.
Zachary mentions in the beginning his first meeting with Old Georgie eye to eye (the temptation Adam Ewing)
The Actor/Characters as they play to each period’s roles and how they respond and are influenced. Love and inspiration can travel through each period. Characters can have love affairs that last beyond a period of life.
Oh hi, Hey Shovel….while we are stuck here levitating in the upstairs bathroom of the house waiting for someone to open the door…I’ve been doing some serious thinking about how we got ourselves into this situation. I mean, I know I’m just a pair of Shrub Cutters…but to the best of my reasoning…the house has enchanted us with the gift of life. But to what end? I’m a still a little fuzzy on why are we trying to murder Roger? I mean up until this point I have just been following Axe’s lead ….but now I am starting to question things….like why Grass hook is hovering up into my personal space! Back up Grass hook!
Shh…listen…I think someone’s coming! Oh I hope it is one of the nosy neighbors! I would love to bury myself deep into that Harold guy and watch all the booze shoot out like a freshly tapped keg. Oh no! I’ve been gifted with life but all I desire is murder and mayhem! Axe…end my suffering with a swift swing! ….and so help me Grass Hook… by the name of the maker of tools….if you don’t back up…. I’ll will take you with me!
*Gasp* The door is open! Go Go Go…Kill anything that moves! GRASS HOOK GET OUT OF THE WAY! MAN YOU REALLY PUT THE ASS IN GRASS!
House (1986) – Like trying to flee from a suicide scene on a moped. You just can’t get away fast enough. I AM GROCERY BOY!
Mrs Hooper…It’s me…The Grocery Boy…I have no name.
It’s hard to run from death on a moped
Thanks Mr. Jones…”he loved my aunt?”
Get out of my face ya freaky book fans
Married to Sandy Sinclair…a Marvelous Actress.
Blood Dance…the best book 3 years ago.
You gonna owe Double day…you already lost your wife over this.
Frozen Food….The Horror!
30 minutes for a frozen entree in the box…didn’t even take it out.
FBI and the CIA are on the case Mr. Cobb
There was no caller id in 1986….how did he know to pretend he was having a rocking Poker game?
His ex-wife lost at the awards show
Does he not know how phones work? Hello Sandy…Sandy. “I’m such a jerk.”
Is his son in the pet cemetery? Sometime dead is better.
Mr. Parker…Mr. Cobb…Mr. Jones…Mrs. Hooper
US Record for 2 years for fishing. Uncle Hooper Died Diving for Abalone
Cobb grew up at the house…his mom died and his aunt raised him.
So not only did he grow up there at his aunt’s house he lived there as an adult? or was he just helping his Aunt with some yard work?
Jimmy done got took by that car…no! he’s in the pool!
Got a nephew named Monty who could do something with this place.
How did Uncle die? He was diving…HARPOON!
“The House did it Roger…” Aunt Elizabeth
Aunt was working on paintings.
Dumbass…don’t put your hand in a shark’s mouth.
They should call that foray the “hello” room…Hello? anyone there?
The house tricked me…this house knows everything about you.
is that his Valium?
Ha! He is still sleeping in his kid’s bed
Love that sweater …beat it dog…That is Harold’s dog
Mr. Gordon Horrible old woman…lovely woman…want dinner?
Harold keeps a book in his pocket that is essentially a stack of papers?
That is one tiny monitor.
Vietnam on set.
These guys are in their 30s…the average age was 19…ni ni ninteen
I don’t usually think about grenades being a quiet attack…but I guess they can be used in that capacity.
If only…you could turn your kids off with a remote
Going crazy…brush my teeth….nope…going back to check that closet.
The hour strikes 12….the witching hour! Do…Not…Open…That…Closet….after…midnight.
Did this guy just order a bunch of equipment from Amazon of the 80s?
Hey Rog…what’cha doing? Solitude? Looks like Larping for military types.
It’s only after midnight Roger…lots of cameras and lights and military garb
Harold just invites himself in with food.
Look at this scratch…does this look like a ghost
Harold just gonna call a celebrity?
Richard Moll has got to keep moving and clucking like a chicken.
That fish is alive!
Got to go get a gun? now there is flying yard tools…yet he is still worried about shooting the fish?
The yard tools are back! They are the chick in the bucket?
Sandy…what happened to you! Accidental discharge.
Roger has a pink phone?
Me? Just sitting on my porch whistling and rubbing my gun.
Roger Cobb has a face that is hard to recognize at first…but then…bam.
Blood Garden or Blood Dance?
Beat it Harold
So the tools were just hanging out in the upstairs bathroom. Should have sent the cop up there.
Now Roger believes his son is in the house?
What are you digging? A hole.
Tanya just pops in…man theses neighbors.
Man what all did he bury in that backyard?
The neighbors dog is a menace.
Roger spends a lot of time violently rifling through drawers
They should call this movie “Neighborhood” cause the real nightmare are the neighbors.
I say just let them ghost demon clowns take Robert.
So the house knows your fears and uses them? Why was Aunt Elizabeth afraid of yard tools?
shoot it Harold!! it’s a harpoon gun.
Big Ben needs to be finished off
Harold drunk himself to drunk
Jimmy lives in the bathroom vanity mirror
haha…boney bat boy is kind of nifty with a shotgun
Undead Ben is actually pretty durn cool. Kind of reminds me of Swamp Thing.
I have never climbed onto a roof on a 2 story house. Happens on TV and Movies all the time. Maybe I live in the wrong places.
You can’t hurt me anymore…and just like that…done.
Listen up my young parachuting Comrades. We will be dropping you off in Colorado onto a mostly unoccupied field. Worst case scenario…the wind blows you to the parking lot of the local school where we are told that we could encounter some very light resistance. If that does happen….please do not shoot kids in the face who are simply looking out the windows of the school house. Remember, we are the good guys here.
Any questions? Yes, Ivan? “What do we do if some of the Jocks escape in a truck and head to the hills and create a troop of guerrilla fighters that force our hand to kill locals as retributions and as a result create a vicious cycle of revenge that never ends.” Ok Ivan, that is some serious foreshadowing. Just remember, we are the good guys here.
Yes Ernesto you have a followup? Will we meet any Young American Ladies that we can rape and pillage? Would someone please push Ernesto out of the plane. Thank you. But to answer his question. Just remember, we are the good guys here…so if you do rape and pillage be sure to wear a condom.
Ok…you know what….I think we may be the bad guys…so just forget all that stuff I said earlier….Let’s just go be bad guys!
Red Dawn (1984) – Hey! Don’t cry. Let it turn to something else!….just like a Saturday Night at Ibbott’s House.
Soviet Union Suffers Worst Wheat Harvest In 55 Years
Labor and Food Riots in Poland. Soviet Troops Invade.
Cuba and Nicaragua Reach Troop Strength Goals of 500,000. El Salvador and Honduras Fall.
Green Party Gains Control of West German Parliament. Demands Withdrawal of Nuclear Weapons From European Soil.
Mexico Plunged Into Revolution
Nato Dissolves. United States Stands Alone
Cloud City Flyover.
The Rough Rider Statue
Charlie Sheen saying good bye to Bud when he has already driven off.
History Teacher. Mongrols Young Son of the Khan.
“Well now my friend…” “Very unusual” Do something Mr. Teasdale.
Rocket Launcher right into the school
This movie wastes no time. Right to the invasion.
The nerds did not survive …just the jobs…..
Piss in the radiator
Never shoot twice
drink the blood of your first kill
Remember the swings when you were kids…well I ain’t gonna be around to pick you up no more.
Mr. Eckert is a stone cold truth telling machine.
FA – Free America
Robbie’s dead dad
I want you to take my heirlooms…they is lady folk…
The Chair is against the wall…John has a long mustache
“Yeah I can read this sign…no I can’t”
Arrow to the Ass…I’m dying Comrades!
Don’t cry. Let it turn to something else!
Wolverine tags everywhere
Soviet American Friendship Center.
These insurgents find Jennifer Grey irresistible.
China and England stuck by us. Canadians are a non-factor?
“Hey, get out of that plane! No…then God and this grenade are your co-pilots.”
Nobody let’s baby die under a tree with a gernade
They died where their daddy told him he wouldn’t pick them up no more…Daddy is never coming.
Oh hi, Yeah…this Mike…but hey don’t call me by my real name on an unsecured line…refer to me by my callsign….Big Mac Right. Right. Wow, that is a lot to take in. Listen, I’m a bit disposed at the moment so could you sum this up and make it like my preference of underwear…yeah that’s right…briefs.
So How bad is it? “The Front fence has been breached. There’s a C-130 burning on the South Lawn…and a gunfight raging on the North….” Yeah…that’s bad. What’s the good news? Morgan Freeman is now President. Well I’m not seeing a problem here. Let’s just cut our loses and build a new White House with Morgan Freeman as the President. Job done! Call it a day.
oh…they have the kid?…Alright….Let me finish up here then….GRUNTS….MORE GRUNTS….Ahhhh….The Package is in the pool. I repeat…the package is in the pool. Operation Taco Drop is a success and I am initiating “jiggle the handle” protocol. Uh oh…not good…this day went from bad to shit.
Olympus Has Fallen (2013) – Like Owen Wilson said in Armegeddon… “Scariest Environment Imaginable. Thanks -That’s all you gotta say. Scariest Environment Imaginable” Wow
Is this the movie about White House Down?
I hope this movie doesn’t suck
Nice Font Choice?
Meanwhile up at Camp David in the snow
Red,White and Blue Boxing
“He likes it when you call him Dries?”
Christmas time is a great Action Movie time
“Mustang, this is Big Top, Bringing out the Full Package.”
This is a horrible idea. Driving in the snow. Right Diaz?
Gee…I wonder if that kid will have to use all that Mike knowledge about the White House?
Ice freezes on Bridges…also, where did that limb come from?
Seat-belts get stuck a lot in movies. What’s the numbers in real life?
The Package is in the pool. I repeat…the package is in the pool.
18 months later … also, July 5th
Apparently, he is absent. He don’t go to July 4th BBQ with his girl
Watching the flashbacks makes me realize that he should have been quicker to pull out that knife and cutting seat-belts. Mike
How in the hell did the president eat all the Rocky Road in the white house last time?
Mike doesn’t roll into this job at the Treasury Department until around 10:15AM…sounds like he traded up
Ooooh. So Mike told Speaker of the House (Morgan Freeman) to go F* Himself
Mike clocks out around 7PM?
That plane is up to no good!
I like to think that the Capital has Anti-Aircraft concealed in the roof.
Oh man…this movie done got violent. How does a plane of this type reach right into the heart of the capital with only 1 encounter with the Air Force?
Oh…they just gonna blow themselves up…so we got suicide bombers and hide in plain sight terrorists with a variety of firearms…like 20 or 30 of them…and a bomb on a bus.
Have you seen Connor! Where is the president’s kid!
Meanwhile down at the Pentagon…How bad is it? “Front fence has been breached. We’ve got a C-130 burning on the South Lawn…and a gunfight raging on the North….” F*CKING SH*T is right
Release the hounds!
Sniper…let me show you how to snipe with a pistol
Forbes…what are you doing Forbes…
…and now an army of trash trucks.
We gonna ground these trash trucks…
No Tim…you were our good friend.
PEOC has gone offline…
To quote Owen Wilson from Armegeddon… “Scariest Environment Imaginable. Thanks -That’s all you gotta say. Scariest Environment Imaginable”
Whaaa…Scary Korean guy don’t need glasses!
as Brian Ibbott says in this movie…”They’ve taken the White House.”
I got to say…it seems like it would be a lot easier to take the president hostage anywhere other than the White House.
Dangit…don’t you bring up 1812 the day after The 4th of July
I watched this movie on the 5th of July…am I patriotic or what?
I got to believe that we would just blow up the White House before letting someone rule the roost.
Really not a fan of Rugged Good Looks Ross.
Play that somber music!
Smuggy Smuggington. It takes 15 minutes for armed forces to reach the White House…we took it down in 13.
“Hey…what was that sound…oh…it was death..”
A pic of Connor!! Noooo. I’m only here to be emotionally invested in innocent kids.
Wow…he still has a lot of clearance to use his thumb to reactivate.
Chopped off the tip of the Washington Monument.
“What’s the going rate for souls these days?”
Forbes is so GQ
Well Mr. Speaker is now the President.
I really don’t see the problem. You got Morgan Freeman as the president…time to cut your loses and build a new White House in Virginia
Took a Lincoln to the head.
Cerberus…So change the codes. uh…hello….
Damnit Truman…you had to do upgrades to the walls…he’s in the walls…and with that info all the Koreans start creeping slowly towards the walls.
Is the kids designation “Spark Plug?” or is that something Mike just likes to say.
Don’t tell the kid “I will see you on the other side…” I’m sure that is what they told him about his mom.
Spark Plug received…now time to get real.
Mother killed by America Bomb
How do they have a picture of Mr. Kang if no one has ever taken a picture?
“Hey Asshole” Classic
Let’s play a game of “F*ck off” You go first.
Not even under presidential order would I give codes.
This is so Die Hard…Conversation with the traitor because you trust him.
How can Rugged Ross not fight any better than that. I thought he was an agent like Mike.
Kang is such a cartoon bad guy…he should have gotten all the codes like in 5 minutes. He is conveniently absent for minutes at a time.
Hydra Weapon? That’s some slow ass weapon.
Hydra 6 is 4 sentries…Taking out Tigers.
How can such a fast weapon on deployed be so shit slow getting to its destination
We do not negotiate with Terrorist…
Why would you take the most resistant hostage. Uh oh.. Video feed is down….that means they need a new camera
Mike is John Wicking this house…
Dumbass…dur…how did the President not see that coming. That was the first thought. Launch the missiles dumbasses….like fire them to the space.
This has to be the stupidest president ever.
Finally…they shot the President…now finally Morgan Freeman can take his rightful place.
Don’t help President..
Knife to the brain…just like I called it.
OMG…Backslash Niner! HASHTAG! Who made this password!
Suck it Cerberus…now take this stupid shit offline.
Congratulations… you found a crappy movie….on Netflix. Alright…sorry…sarcasm it’s kind of our go to thing around here. But to answer your question Mr. Ferry Man. Yes. The Filmsack Crew would be more than happy to help you recover the crappy movie you saw floating around on Netflix. It’s practically all we do!
So can you describe the movie for us? A giant floating turd. Ok…Well, I think that is all I need to know.
Say….could you Excuse us Mr. Ferry Man…I just need a quick Filmsack Crew Sidebar. Hey guys…I don’t think we should do this one. It sounds like this Mr. Ferry Man wants us to watch a giant floating turd. I mean I know that is what we do week in and week out…but what if it’s one of those Ghost Turds…You know what I’m talking about…you do all the prep work but then when you look back…poof …nothing…just an empty bowl. Wait…what was I talking about. Sorry guys…I’ve been constipated for 2 weeks…I think I think I may be septic.
Now get off my damn TugBoat
Ghost Ship (2002) – Like a box full of gold hording rats. What tha… Two decapitated thumbs up. oh no. Thumbs down.
Get off my damn tug boat
A punch in the port bloater?
Congratulations…you found a boat..in the ocean.
Heading down to the docks and gonna get myself a crew.
Oh no…the straights
Well that came up quickly..OCEAN LINER!
It’s the Antonio
We named our TugBoat Artic Warrior
Under the Law of the Sea…she’s ours
40 years…all the life boats are gone…and no one every found anyone.
Yay…Jump Scare Clock Chime
Rich Folks from Europe died here.
That Rubic Rope is the best.
Everything is trying to kill Karl Urban…including Karl Urban
Karl Urban…Chewing Gum and Smoking Cigarette’s…I think they told him to act annoying.
Spooky Ghost Ship Story by the Captain
There was a shootout in the pool!
A digital watch!
That pool drank her blood and then oozed it back out.
Pretty sure you don’t drink an open glass on a 40 year old table.
“That’s the happy version”
Dead bodies come dumping out like dead body diarrhea.
These rats are hording gold! You do not want to take the rat horde’s box of gold bars.
Mr. Giggle Time Ferriman..the box is going to be full of gold..yep!
Somebody has to say…and it might as well be me…this ship is f*ck’d up
This is less Ghost Ship and more Final Destination Ship
Tug Tug no more…Tug Boat on down
Emily Browning tried to tell you
This first mate is no Gilligan. He will pump you in the face.
Shelf life of a can of beans…1 year…that is like 39 years too long…do not eat 40 year old beans because they are probably maggots.
Poor bored Emily Browning…you think you are bored during a 2 hour dance…wait till you are stuck on a Ghost Ship for 40 years…
She hung herself
Why are they clapping for the First Mate.
When you are dead you know when someone is dead.
1 survivor on the Loralyedele
?When he has filled his quota…we set sail…Katie is not like the others.
Santos thought he had 1000 virgins at the pearly gates?
Ghost Tits get you dead every time.
Karl Urban always plays rock…
A ship of theives
She got fish hooked.
Not sure if I have ever seen a rock montage like this to explain everything