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Driving, horning and giving the finger

This morning I was driving. Actually, I was sitting at a green light waiting for my turn to take a left against oncoming traffic. I pulled into the intersection and waited for the light to change. This particular intersection has no green turn arrow and during this time of the morning there is a constant flow of oncoming traffic.

The light turns yellow. There is a small gap between a car that just passed me in the oncoming traffic lane and another car behind it approaching the intersection. The approaching car does not appear to be slowing down very much. They may be thinking about making it through the yellow light. I slowly let my foot off the brake in case he decides to stop. But I’m not stupid. I’m not going to pull out in front of someone who is still moving at 30+ mph.

Then I hear a horn blow behind me. Obviously, this person really has to be somewhere and can not deal with waiting through another red light before turning. I can understand that. I’ve been there. But you know what. I don’t care how many times you blow the horn. I am not turning in front of an oncoming MOVING car.

Road Rage Time!!

I held up my hand for the individual behind me to see. I extended a single finger. But for some reason it wasn’t the one I thought I was going to hold up. Instead, I held up my index finger. I started wagging it. I said “No No” and I shook my head.

It may have been passive aggressive. But I felt better. I was basically saying “What are you…5 years old?”

This was the final straw for me and horns. I think horns should be removed from all cars. They are seldom used for their intended purpose. So much so that they cause more trouble than they solve. Often, people use them to express their dissatisfaction with how they perceive your driving skills or to get their friend’s attention. “HEY! BEEP BEEP!! I KNOW YOU!!”

The few times I have seen people blow the horn for a real reason, such as to notify another driver of their presence and to please not hit them, they always blow the horn about 3 seconds too late and then it turns from something useful to a long blast that says “HEY MORON!! YOU ALMOST HIT ME.”

Just like everyone else, my first reaction to someone invading my personal car space is for me to hit the brakes and put my hands at 10 and 2. Which is what I should do. I shouldn’t be concerned about the dang horn.

Down with car horns!

By Brian Dunaway

Hey everybody! It's me. Brian-O! I hope you are enjoying the website. SNARF!

5 replies on “Driving, horning and giving the finger”

Good job on the use of the more passive finger. I find the Index finger to be much more judgemental toward the person it’s being waved at and a nice civil way of letting someone know that you’re watching them and they’re acting like a baby. Better to parent them than stoop to the bar-room brawl type maturity… That said, I say everyone should have train horns installed, that would be way more fun.

You guys have been playing a bit too much spyhunter! I love it!

Maybe I should put a few semi truck air horns in the rear of my car for just such occasions. Rig up a jack in the box kind of pop up clown that pops up in the rear window when I blow the horns. Scare the sheet out of them.

I have always entertained the idea of putting a digital sign in my back window that has pre-programmed messages that I can hit a switch to display. Ones like:

“Nice to hear your horn works, wish your eyes did.”
“You know the speed limit is (insert number), right??”
“Sorry your late, leave earlier next time.”

And a special one for people who use thier cell and drive…
“My life isn’t worth your Text/Call.”

You could use whatever you like really. Maybe someday I’ll actually make it. I like your jack in the box idea as well.

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