Deep Impact

Deep Impact (1998) –

Szzhhhh….I don’t want to say we made it worse…but uh…we made it worse…Now we have 2 objects hurling towards earth. Now sit down America as I explain this like an 8th grade science teacher.


Deep Impact: Like Armageddon. But with more character development….and just as depressing…would someone please work on better drill technology.

Maybe if dinosaurs had spaceships & nukes they wouldn’t be extinct.


Stuff I Loved:

Can calculate meteor trajectory in 5 seconds. Has to drive a floppy disk to other scientists cause the mail server is down.


Also, if he wrote the name of Elijah Woods Character’s on the floppy disk and took it with him in the jeep. Well that crap is all burnt up!

Pretty sure that data is zapped.

Jeeps burst into flames when they roll in the air.

Nosey reporters


Amazing small search returns for ELE

Want to come to dinner with me and my 3 year old…what…you already have plans. I find that hard to believe.

I would like to propose a toast to happiness and sobriety.

What a polite situation to have to handle an ELE

Is that how press really handles press conferences. Line up in a row…elbow to elbow….in front of the whitehouse.

We get hit by comets all the time…but don’t worry. We got this. We got a real good plan.

before I became president I wanted to be an 8th grade science teacher….sit down America. I got something to say. Hey, the president is my 8th grade science teacher.

Oh…I don’t care even if there is an ELE on it’s way…no way would Messiah fly as the name of anything….the Russians wanted to name it Monkey Ship. We declined.

Always a Russian when we go to space.

The Asian newscaster does not know the size of the comet that killed the dinosaurs! crazy!!

We didn’t want to alarm “The Planet”

We have the technology to build ships…they have the technology to make it go.

It’s kind of cool to have your name attached to a killer comet…yeah…I don’t think so…and Elijah getting more sex. Doubt it even morer.

Uhhh….Dad…that’s not really a game as much as denial.

Astronauts are popular again. Wooot!

hey…it’s Red Foreman. Dumbass.

Hey…they did the whole armageddon movie in 30 minutes. more time for hobbits!

Why do we always make antennas fragile little things on ships. Can’t that thing retract before flying into a comet debris field

inside spaceman helmet cam

Gus is Gas now. They lost the DOC!

“Hello America!”…We failed…now we have 2 objects heading our way.

We been digging in the limestone in missouri…we found some spags.

Alright alright…I get…The Teachers…Doctors…Military…but artists…

You been Martial Law’d!!

Well…we figured the president was a religious man when they named the ship Messiah

We have details about the national lottery.

Uh oh…Age discrimination. I bet that don’t count for the president! what is he like…100

Finally…justice…take that Senior discount at Bojangles. How does that  free coffee taste now.

Do people really watch the news on jumbo screens in New York and big cities?

Would suck to have turned 50 on that day.

Chuck…where are you going? They ain’t calling our phone…we just a bunch of nobodies.

It’s practically Japanese!! I’m kinda glad you are going to burn up in the meteor blast.

Man…now we know how some short dude is able to get a hottie…he has a ticket to the ark and ain’t afraid to use it.

Everybody knows you can’t move a meteor with a nuke…you have to do it with human sacrifice

Our missiles have failed again. I believe we have really pissed off the comet at this point.

You just know even with all this assertion of the destruction…there is going to be doubters

You are in a shuttle…you are as safe from the comet as can be. Screw blowing yourself up.

What do you need the arming codes for…who gives a crap…let them stick them up their bums and blow them up for all you care.

Man…Elijah lays that bike down a lot. Gonna bend the handle bars man…stop it.

wow…littering…no ones gives a hoot anymore.

That is some angry traffic right there.

Man…nothing like waiting till the last second when it comes to escaping a meteorite. What the hell…how long did you have to plan?

All these cars have kid stuff attached to the roofs.

Leo stole my durn bike. Why didn’t I think about that. I packed sleeping bags.

They left that bike for like at least a minute…that dang thing would be gone.

Guess what honey. You got married this week…and now we are giving you the baby. Surprise! also, grow up.

Lot of senseless ego deaths in this movie. If you had just went to higher ground. and believed a little.

Love the guy sitting on the steps in new york reading his paper on the steps. Refusing to look at the wave.

Say hey to mommy. She is going to save the planet. Hey Mommy!

Great…the baby is there…but the dude is blind.

If the dinosaurs had of had spaceships maybe they wouldn’t be extinct.

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