[usr 5.0] *WARNING : My show notes are unrated. I do not censor my thoughts while making notes. Listen Now

Cyborg (1989)

– FilmSack Edition

Opener:   Hey, 

Twitter:  Cyborg  Like 

Stuff I Loved:

Oh! A cannon film. That means quality.

Collapse, Anarchy, Genocide, Starvation…We got the plague…the living death.

In the Future!

I like the dead. I like the misery.

Intro by Macho Man Savage.

Come on pearl. We gotta go to town and find a slinger!

Girls Girls Girls.

Slo Mo. Hey! is that Brian the Boz Bosworth?

Look at all dem abs.

Future must have plenty of time to work on costumes.

I wanna own the cure! I’d be a God!

I like this world!

Go to hell.

Been there…pshhh…

Ethnic guy with blue eyes!!! nooooooo!

Human Knife Napkin. Come here!! Swipe…swipe…

hehe…Music by guy with Bass in his last name.

Wire basket as steps is fail.

Here…let me slit your throat with your own knife.

Ninja vs Pirates! The classic struggle.

That violin/Casio note is the same one they ones in TriStar intro.

Trope: A Group Of Doctors. The last ones. A group of smart guys…the last ones.

That gun is futuristic in sound but arcane in looks.

Poor slinger down.

Cyborg is awesome! stop motion.

If you don’t…I’ll give you the horror show.

They gave that one guy all the best lines.

You think you gonna swim all the way to Atlanta! Asshole.

Noooo…not the cake topper!

A Skin Job To Take To Atlanta!

Nice fire…I have no emotions…there is the TriStar music again.

In the future…ain’t no time to do nothing but sharpen your knife and work on your uniform.

“Pirates that killed my paw”….love how she slowed that part down to sound all hickish.

“You tha only pirate to answer my ad in the paper… for the pay…which is 3 cans of beans and a blowjob. not in that order.”

Either that is a wand or tetanus on a stick.

Dem lips. Curled almost back up on themselves. Truest duck lips I ever done seen.  Zero effort.

Trope: You don’t care? What kind of jerk hero are you. Accidental hero!

Grapes! and Tupperware! I’ll kill ya!

Grody plague people

Ball enforcer. Judge, Jury and Enforcer.

haha…he just ducked out on her with no instructions…which I guess beats….”Wait Here…” and then they never do anyway.

Breaking necks is how you resolve problems in movies on the down low.

Come out and play! with my chain.

Borderlands

Gas masks have an intimidation factor of 12.

How practical is a switchblade boot?

Fishnet Stocking Gang.

Nice groin grab. I mean she grabbed the whole junk.

haha…one of the best ground level views of a dummy falling from a building.

The graffiti artists in this movie suck.

Trope: Woman on adventures have no modesty when it comes to taking a bath in a body of water.

Walking Wound.

Chicks dig scars.

Trope: Hero with morals when it comes to young ladies. Lean in for a kiss…nope…cover up. I love another…she is dead…it is my fault. I’ll never have sex again’

Boy they weren’t kidding. They butchered the hell of out Pearl.

That extending Cyborg eye was cool.

Man. This movie is nothing but FlashBacks. It’s like the Memento of scifi movies.

He did not get here to NY and Back safely.

This music can not decide where it wants to go.

Take ’em out? To where/ like Ruby Tuesdays? or like…murder…cause  I ain’t seen a Ruby Tuesdays since before the plagu

Wait here!

She dropped the F-Bomb.

Corners in industrial places are dangerous. Always bad guys standing around silently.

Crazy knife running guy. It’s like Knife Joust.

Gotta make use of those leg splits when you got Van Damme

Swashbuckling!

Ducktales…ohh ooh.

stop…turn…increase music tempo…eye brow stare….gonna have to kill a few lackies on your way.

Bad guy didn’t even break a sweat.

He has to face his greatest failure.

Not enough hair crimpers in modern society.

I am assuming they dubbed the main bad guy.

Trope: Big Guy, the dude what is so massive there is no way our hero will be able to beat him. Tank.

I am cyborg…here we whir. Whir….beep…

You are not strong enough to get me to Atlanta.

fender is too strong.

It’s real hard to take Van Damme serious when he has a lady’s dirty white pants butt next to his head.

Stop…look at dead comrades… go go go.

Van Damme…that is not how you carry dead weight.

All the baddies like the yell a lot.

Stick! I can’t use a stick in the sewer!

Oh wait…the next guy is smart enough to turn the stick vertically.

Fights are always cooler when there is falling water involved.

Are those cranberries in the water…

Aww…not gonna lie…a little disappointed when the big guy took it to the head. Not disappointed that it was delivered from Van Dammes crotch split.

Now they are the gopher gang…they just keep popping up.

Wild child

So much prep work into making specialized weapons for effect. Guess there ain’t a lot to do in plague riddled future.

Nub smack!

Nothing better than pick up someone to kick the back down.

Release the birds! bird.

When did he have time to reload his switch blade boot.

Sure we could kill him…but let’s wait.

You sure is some ugly folks.

Stand him up…so I can knock him back down.

Fool…can’t you see the size of my chain-male shoulder pads. You can’t beat me…I dedazzled this shit myself.

Blood and sand.

Look into my ethnically confusing eyes.

Crucified!

A much younger light eye colored ethnic guy.

I’m gonna boot myself right off this crucifix!

What is in the bottom of that well?  I mean they are falling pretty slowly…plus we know Van Damme get’s out…unless he is dead!

So what happened in the well?  Did he break his fall with the baby and his girlfriends body.

Alright, broke the crucifix…but I’m still attached to it…now wha….ahhhhh…

What’s waiting in Atlanta.

Stigmata!

Obviously later that day…cause his crucifix wound have already healed.

Damnit. You could have skewered him. But no…you got to do the honor thing. Fool.

I don’t even need arrows…I got a knives.

“I kill slingers….” Yeah…I was pretty sure you weren’t on my team anyways.

I’m on fire fight!

What? I always stand like this? Flexing. We gonna fight…or are we gonna stand here and flex.

That’s right…It’s the future and I am about to slam your face in the car door. Over and over again. one more time.

mmmm…unwanted kisses.

Did they finally kill Nady.

Yell fight!

That car is kicking everybody’s ass.

Forearm stab!

“I call this the OPEN HEART SURGERY! stab!”

Trope: He’s dead. Nope. Just resting his eyes.

Much use of the potato sack punch sound in this movie. Dead fish on a cutting board slap? Rib meat

Nady…hehe…Nady… she stays knocked out for most of this movie. Even if she didn’t get slashed she probably would have died from brain damage.

Sorry, I lost my shirt.

It’s strange…because now I am a robot…and he is the real cure for this world. Aka…action and not a group of scientist in a lab.