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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Deep Blue Sea (1999) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

I’m just an average looking white guy named Jim  in a minority majority horror thriller film…what could possibly go ….ahhh my arm.

Oh, speaking of white guys. Have you seen my uncle Bob? He got me this job. He is this fancy looking white fella who keeps Benjamin’s seat warm back in the city. You met Benjamin right? He’s our investor who can’t shut up about avalanches.

Anyway, my uncle Bob just sits there keeping Benjamin’s seat “ass warm” looking around like he is part of whatever conversation is going on. But he’s really just there because Benjamin can’t get his own ass warm anymore. Not since the avalanche. Oh God, don’t get him started.

Well, thanks for listening. Now excuse me, I have to go be a shark propelled projectile strapped to a gurney. Things don’t end well for me. Could be worse I suppose.

 

 

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0149261/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deep_Blue_Sea_(1999_film)

 

 

TWITTER

Deep Blue Sea (1999) – Like watching a movie about sharks while Samuel L Jackson is telling you the plot to Avalanche. Uh oh. better get Mako.

SHOW NOTES

I think there is a water motif

Pasty white teens make out! to what sounds like…Good and Plenty.

Better than average teens on the top of the boat…

Oh no! They are going to get the ocean drunk on wine!

This shark is like the Give a Hoot owl of the ocean! I SAID A HOOT DON’T POLUTE…SNAP SNAP SNAP I got your pasty white girlfriend!

Music..Music…Music…

Bad boy friend is bad. Headbutts his girl off the boat. Then

Hey! It’s Ahab to the rescue!. Yay! The great white savior!

It’s that lady who is in everything. Spice…Debbie Spice.. ….no… SAFFRON BURROWS!

A money man who’s name is Franklin.

haha!!! Why is he standing over a white guy in a chair?

Each time you told him she was dead! Lie lady! Why would you tell your dad EACH TIME!!

Wait…so she can fly a plane…but chooses to be shuttled by Helicopter…I’m not say you can do either or if you can do one…but…

Alcatraz Floats! I got IT on the brain and that makes me giddy

“What do you think Amigos…She’s a 12 footer.”

hehe…Samuel L. Jackson’s Tattoo is good…not great…but passable. I’m getting old.

So far this music is all over the place. But I like it…seems to flow with the emotion of each scene..also a few homages.

Is the license plate ate by a shark joke over yet?

“Beneath it’s glass surface. A world of gliding monsters.” – Perfect Line.

A Skeleton Crew on the weekend.

“You trust me…do you know why? Because I’m trust worthy.”

A con recognizes a con.

Money Money…make the world go round.

A foul mouthed fowl. So are we to assume the parrot has been exposed to many expletive based gangsta songs?

A pastry chef on the floating Alcatraz?

Well them sharks ate them other shawks. Little baby shawk.

Chef and bartender.

Foreshadowing? Leave dying to the white folks?

I wish I had started counting all the ocean puns from the start.

Sharks never go blind, have cancer or stuff.

They are hunting in packs…like wild dogs. They only eat other sharks.

Sharks can’t swim backwards or recognize guns. It’s impossible.

In 1999 did we still have static on screens when cameras were eating by sharks!

Carter has one move. Swim away…psyche! I’m in your sharky face!

This movie is full of puns.

Bad dreams? What does a shark dream about?

“This? oh it’s just some Alzheimer patient’s brain matter that we keep alive in the lab to experiment on. The patient? They are fine. Everytime they ask about the surgical wound on their head we just tell they there loved ones are dead. We really are good people. Wanna touch it? ”

Goodbye arm.

Man, this film is really invested in saving Jim. We followed his story all the way up stairs and to the helicopter…and uh oh…there he goes into the drink.

Was that place made of explosives? How much fuel do you need for floating Alcatraz?

I love that LL is the every man in this movie

“Tell me what that is” …well….it’s Jim the projectile.

This movie was made to be sacked.

Without the slow motions scenes this movie would be about an hour.

This movie was influenced or parallel to Michael Bay films?

I’m glad they got the Mall Kiosk Map of Floating Alcatraz in this movie.

If a bird turns and runs…you do the same.

Think so? Not a chance.

It’s always the shark movie problem. How to get the sharks to the people or the people to the sharks.

I love that LL never names the bird…he just calls him bird.

The confrontations of the brainiacs

Other than the floating playboy and the over sexed teens at the start of this movie…there is no love affair in the movie. Ok…maybe LL and his bird.

Uh oh…better get Mako…

Your plan “is swimming out of here?”

Cooked in his own oven. LL Cool is about to get hot.

Sharks ain’t got no good vision

No matter how bad your situation is. There is always somebody got a story about a situation that is worse. “You think water and sharks are  bad. I once had to walk out of an avalanche.”

Getting chomped giving your “come together” speech is the best.

Kind of sad though. I was really hoping we were going to go with the rich guy saving us and not the not so love-able white guy ex-con.

Grab my hand! This guys love that trope. He loved it in Cliffhanger as well.

Wait…that’s it…! I got it. To the Mall Kiosk Map!

“Who ya gonna trust? The white guy from Cal Tech?”

The only sexual tension going on is between Preach and Cal Tech.

Perfect omelette…2 eggs not 3. No milk.

Flipped a couple of switches…Thumbs up and happy face…yeah…that ain’t gonna last.

Sure…humans can swim…but should we? We aren’t very good at it. We are engineered to do it.

Message in a bottle? Nope. Cassette tape in a Ziplock.

Nope..not a shark…it’s your buddy.

Well about time. I was wondering when the attractive doctor was going to strip down to her clean and matching underwear. Very creative way to get her stripped down.

So your plan is to bring as much attention to your area as possible?

Nooo…not LL!!

Grote…stab to the eye.

This shark is wanting to Free Willy on out of here.

Let’s A-Team this shit. Is there a new A-Team TV show that is a more recent reference?

Bait? What? Masterbate? What? Come to Mama.

Damnit Susan! “Huh…blood? In the water? chomp chomp chomp!!”

Susan’s plan was a poor plan.

What if your plan?  Jump in the water? Punch the shark? Do that Toro Toro Toro thing?

LL is like…let me save this day.

You know. I’m not too broken up about Susan. She used to wait for her dad to forget about his wife’s death then tell him all over again.

Did they use enough explosives? Carter may have over estimated.

So Carter and Preacher hook up?

They just blew up a 45 foot shark…you better start worrying about regular sharks. that is a lot of blood.

LL Cool J has a song for the movie!!

 

 

 

 

 

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Strange Brew (1983) – Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi you hosers, Geez I just woke up, I don’t know about an intro. Just, take off you nobs,

You’re still here…. well, then let me tell you how to get free Filmsacks:

First, you bribe Scott at the front desk with a couple of Jelly’s. He has a whole drawer full. I’m not even sure he eats them. Just a whole drawer full of Jelly’s. Weird eh.

But THAT will get you in to see Randy.

Now Randy likes to hand out jobs. especially if you threaten to sue him. Currently, he has half of Canada at his employ. Handing out jobs like free beers at Oktoberfest.

Once you have a job, head down to our top secret lair where we keep Ibbott and his haunted  DVD disc changer. Just grab a DVD like Strange Brew. You doon’t worry about Ibbott. He’s usually in the toilet behind the fake wall taking care of “Ibbott business.” I think he gets into Scott’s Jelly drawer a good bit.

Where am I during all of this? Right here. Writing intros and drinking dad’s beer.

So sit back and get some corn. eh. It’s going to be a doosey.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086373/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strange_Brew

TWITTER

Strange Brew (1983) –  This movie is a genius, it knows the Atlas. Oh geez, my left nut.

SHOW NOTES

MGM Lion looks stoned. or bummed out.

Cranking a tail. was that a real tail! that seems super dangerous

Movie Theme is not as good as koo koo koo koo

The difference between tv and movies.

That is a lot of beer.

He’s a genius he knows the Atlas.

Russia and Hawaii doesn’t usually get the show.

Theory on movies. How to wreck a movie. Release the moths.

3 B …  sit back and get some corn. ok eh.

2051 AD Ten Years after WW4

He is the Keymaster.

Bowling alleys take it first after ww4

Mutants live in the underground caves.

Omega Man is an influence.

Like using a tape measure to communicate

Whiplash from my burps.

Breaking the 4th wall and then the 5th wall.

They did this on their album guy.

A mason jar of moths will wreck any movie.

The Mutants of 2051 AD was their movie inside a movie.

I cry like that when I spend 2 weeks allowance on a movie.

Police in Canada drive cabs.

This music is very 80s…groove machine…shred some guitar. clean drum rhythms.

Theme song song

Bob and Doug live with their parents.

Why are they in such a hurry to eat when they got home. Beer and donuts?

Is that Yosemite Sam? Their dad is Yosemite Sam? They stole all the WB sounds…no they are watching MGM cartoons. it’s an MGM movie.

You nob.

Look at that old 7-11

What kind of beer store is that? All we have are Grocery Stores and ABC Stores around here.

I believe there will be no charge.

Nice box art to reality shot.

Take off. Hoser.

“He hooked up our stereo.” That used to be a qualifier when we were in high school. Cred.

Is that guy’s security desk have a keyboard.

I need a hidden door bathroom. It’s very humorous..apparently.

Nothing bribes a chunky secretary faster than a pocket donut. no…I was wrong…2 and one is a jelly.

Ahh..the 80s…where set decoration go to be embarrassed.

Computer sounds. Deep press keyboards and bleeepy flashing computers and the hums of vacuum tubes.

“Let’s get some men on the bottling line.”

Go in to get some free beer. Get a job instead. What just happened. Leap of logic?

Bring the lunatics from the asylum…let’s see how the drugs, beer and synth music affect them. Apparently it makes them a hockey team. makes sense.

Haha…”The Colonel is dead but here we are enjoying his chicken.”

Apparently the McKenzie boys are a big joke around the neighborhood.

“Geez I just got up…I don’t know.”

How much beer, corn and donuts are these guys putting away in a day.

Bad guy is bad.

Galactic Border Patrol.

Question Relay Gag.

I wonder if this score will be related.

Take off eh.

Eh.

Brewmeister Smith. is that his real name or his title?

How strong is the bad guy? This strong. Slaps you around and can pick you up by the cheeks.

Level 5!

“Give in the dark side of the force you nob.”

Oww…my left nut.

Piano revelation music. Ting ting ting ting

They horked our clothes!

Blissful ignorance heroes. They just bumble into winning the day.

“They are cutting pirates” Illegal record making?

Used to be a common device. cutting the brakes.

Friendly zombies…that is what we used to think of lunatics.

Hosehead is the dogs name.

Do you feed/water your dog anything that is inappropriate?

Didn’t need to see dad’s face. That broke the myth.

“What the stink are they doing in there?”

Scary. Jason Vohrees on a moped with flowers.

Why am I being chased by a cab. you pull over eh.

The McKenzie brothers are like the Duke Boys.

Oh no. Not the McKenzie van! it’s part of their 80s identity.

When you are only 10 feet from the surface of the water do you need air shoved into your mouth to rise up? Sad music

The detective dub over was amazing.

Apparently he has no brakes either.

Intermission to signify the 2nd act?

We don’t need air. we got beer.

Man. I bet that was hard to film. Props  to the dedication to the gag. Pulled over underwater.

“My compliment to the many fine things in your home.”

“Ahh…my wife.”

Personalities so big…they take over the prison.

He is Tron. He lives in the game.

He knows how to handle the press. Beat the Nation.

Is that the queen over the judges head

Please explain TimeCode

Shove a couple of bullets up your nose.

The judge has magazines on his desk.

That is not how bullets work. But sure. I accept it.

Oh no! Our heroes have been committed.

I love doing the steamroller!

“Hi fellows. My name is Ted.”

That is one big needle…full of beer.

Hey you “6.50” all I got is two 5s

Power plays a weird role in this movie.

I think Ted is Dead. Dead Ted.

We have seen head crushing before…and it hurts.

Got to escape the asylum.

Cowboys on PJs and Spacemen on the other. That was all kids liked back in the early 80s

is that little car a Datsun? they say it is Japanese.

Now you are the mouse.

Is it hard to swim in beer? I wonder if it is hard to swim in carbonated anything?

Ahh…the old pee in the pool…it’s getting warmer in here joke.

Koo ko koo kooo

The superstrong bad guy…how do they get so superhuman strong?

A lot of electrocutions in this movie.

Those who have the power.

Music to accentuate comedy in a comedy. It’s hard to pull off these days.

True McKenzie style. He drank it all.

When your movie turns into Tron.

Did she lay a kiss on the manager?

Who is that security guard at the end. He’s familiar.

The Mckenzie’s are always landing jobs based on their weird skillsets. Yet they never have a job.

Skunk dog.

All the beer is free!!

A Toronto Skunk.

The McKenzie’s know how to interrupt.

Movie review of your movie in your movie.

Freeze Frame. Happy Trails

 

 

 

 

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Pumping Iron (1977) – Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi, Mr Olympia Lost and Found, how may we pump you up today. Ha ha ha. Just a little levity sir. Yes, I totally understand. You’ve lost your shirt and that’s no joke.

Ok so, can you describe the shirt for me. It’s red. Right, well we have a lot of red shirts sir. Can you tell me what size it is.A large but it wears like a youth small o10+our hulking body. Oh…and white trim. Ok, well that does narrows it down. So can you tell me does it have any ironically cute pictures on it. Like an owl or a cartoon dog?

(mixed with nervous laughter) Oh, it does. uh huh It has Mickey Mouse on it. uh huh…Say…where are you calling from? The Lobby, oh ok. ok. What’s that. You say you can see me. oh…oh…Oh yes, I see you waving now. My you are one large shirtless man…..really kind of hard to miss. What’s that? The shirt I’m wearing. oh…yeah…uh…it is red…with white trim and has Mickey Mouse on it.

Hold please. (running.)

 

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076578

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pumping_Iron

 

 

 

TWITTER

Pumping Iron (1977) – Like watching a guy getting his knees licked by a Cheetah, what am I looking at right now? Is this porn? I hate my eyes.

SHOW NOTES

Tiny lady show me how to be object of desire

Have you seen my muscles?

Gym Muscles

You see this Gold’s Gym sign? We punched that into existence.

Big Mike…how do you get that nickname among a lot of big guys? Big Tony. I noticed we never met small Mike or Tony…that’s because the big guys ate them.

This gym would intimidate me.

I see a lot of guys with hemorrhoids

28 6foot2 …. Mr Olympia…

I’m a muscle artist. Let me paints some deltoids over here with some 60 pound weights.

The Pump….blood into muscles.

Look where you point.

Never hide away…Little guys like to hide away.

Is it a requirement to have bad hair . Just shave your head and moustache …if you remove all of your body hair might as well buy all in. Leaving a bunch of hair on top of your head makes you look like some weird oily Troll doll.

You got rusty fenders. Jew. Catholic. 4 eyes. This guy had some weird bullying.

Anyone seen my muscle shirt? what’s that? all the shirts here are muscle shirts. Mine is a tiny little shirt too small for my body. Have you seen a shirt like that?

Mike Katz has some advice about kicking dogs:  It’s like a dog. You can kick a dog so long and it will do two things. It’s gonna either roll over and die or it’s gonna bite you and attack you. And I’m the kind of person who is the type of a dog who would bite back…now where is my shirt! woof woof woof woof.

What’s it sound like when a room full of body builders clap. no one knows.

They have a Tall Man category?

No one is buying Mike Katz performance of appreciating Ken Waller’s win.

The 70s was a very hairy time.

Everyone involved looks like are on the set of a porno.

Arnold is impressed by dictators who are remembered for hundreds of years.

Lou eats a big salad

Lou would spend all night reading Muscle Books. what the hell was there to read in Muscle books..

Lou’s dad is after the big baby.

Body builders seem to be obsessed with analogies.

Fat Steven Wright is doing his best.

How would you like to be in a gym with a body builder who is hard of hearing?

Arnold is not a number.

Arnold is in a nice gym. Lou is in someones weight trailer.

Arnold at the gym…making everyone feel inadequate.

Is there a term for when weights start giggling and chiming.

Arnold has no fear of fainting in a gym. That is like my biggest fear in a gym

Arnold plays head games.

Like a cheetah liking your knees. It’s good

Arnold giving prankster advice.

Arnold is a dedicated prankster. Will spend 2 hours to screw you over.

Lou could not be more embarrassed of his parents in front of his idle than any child in the history of the universe.

Lou’s dad is the truth of living vicariously.

Third place in a 3 man contest. That is last my friend.

The saddest part of the whole contest. Watching Lou’s dad de-oil him.

 

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Matchstick Men (2003) – Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi Filmsack Men, Who shall we con today? The listeners? Little Old Ladies, Randy? Hmmm… .unsure if I meant Little Old Ladies THEN Randy or Randy likes to con little old ladies…. or perhaps Randy is just really into geriatrics.  Show note problems…am I right?

Well I hope you enjoyed that little distraction. Meanwhile, I swapped your Sacks of good intros with bad impressions of Nicholas Cage.  Good Luck, Randy.

oh look! A little old lady.

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Spawn (1997) – Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi and welcome to the Marines!

Semper Fi: Do or die!  However, if you do DIE. Be sure to go to straight to hell, do not pass go; do not collect 200 dollars, That’s a joke son, laugh cause you are going to hear a lot of those when you are dead. It’s a real yuck fest in the afterlife.

Anywho, While in hell be sure to make a deal with one of the devils down there. Personally,  I prefer the badly rendered ones.

Be sure keep an eye on the time. A 5 minute meeting in hell can turn into 5 years real quick. Cause, Hell?

When you get back, be prepared fight pun flinging clowns and bearded bad guys with pace makers the size of one of them Electric Lady Schick Razors.

Also, if you run across a kid that keeps calling you Mister. Go ahead and chop it’s head off. It’s a demon in disguise. “Hey mister, you ok? Hey mister, your face looks like a burnt turd. Hey mis…chop!”

 

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

The Manhattan Project (1986) – Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi, Yes Sir Mr. President, per your orders, we dropped that bomb on those filthy cold war Russians.  But I’m saddened to report sir… that we had some pretty unexpected results… Instead of dirty burnt radiated Ruskies it appears all we did was make their hair fuller and shinier. They couldn’t be happier when we flew back by. Where did you say we got that plutonium from? Ithaca?

or

Yes, Hello…is this Kremlin? This is top secret KGB agent reporting in. I have just returned from American nuclear facility in Ithaca. I have brought with me samples of American plutonium. I must say the mission was easier than we had imagined. Ronald Regan American’s are so over confident of their security that they left full sample on a table unguarded. However, if this sample represents the full force of the American’s might then we can sleep well comrade. Early tests have shown that their plutonium is not a very effective explosive. I feel so safe with this container that I slept with it under my pillow last night.  I was surprised to discover this morning that it had sprung a leak during my slumber. When I woke up I was sure that I would have radiation sickness. But instead my hair has never been fuller or shinier. and smell it….oh…this is a phone joke.

Yeah I know that’s not how that works. But this movie could be called “That’s not how any of this works…now get out of my glove box KidGyver.