Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

The Void (2016) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Well Alice, this is our life now. Yep, Void as far as the eye can see. except for that giant Pyramid…wait. is that The Void? I mean I was thinking of The Void as more of a location or state of mind than an actual object.  Hey…do you hear that?

Hmm…I wonder what they do with our mail? I mean do they pick it up here or do we have to go someplace triangle shaped to drop it off. We still need to do Christmas cards right? I mean this doesn’t get us out of that does it? Do you hear that?

Hey Alice, Sorry about chopping you up earlier.

Seriously, you don’t hear that? Hey look…it’s Bev! Awkward!

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Proof Of Life (2000) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

 

Oh hi,

Shhh…do you guys hear that? It’s the Flutey Tootey music of Danny Elfman. You know what that means dont’cha. That’s right. We are about to watch one of them military action thrillers that takes place in the  jungle.

But before we do that… I’m gonna need some proof of life…maybe Scott could hold up his iPad with today’s FAKE NEWS or Maybe Randy could show me his hobbit feet and the latest WoW Release notes.

No wait! I got it….Ibbott…find a cure for Alzheimer’s while playing a cover of Van Morrison’s “I’ll be your lover, too”

Ahhh…that’s the stuff.

Also, no one talk about this movie in front of Dennis Quaid…ever…infinity

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Rounders (1998) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Listen, here’s the thing.

If you can’t spot the sucker in your first half hour of this movie, then you are the sucker.

Guys around here’ll tell ya… you “sack” for a living. But It’s like any other content creation endeavor. You can’t sack for a living. You grind it out. Like toothpaste after your significant other squeezes from the top of the tube. WHY!

Also, here are some things I’ve heard from my day to day life as a podcaster.

“If it don’t hurt. Slam it in the car door.” – Mike “The Italian Ice” Rodriguez.

and

“Sucking on a fountain straw like that will get you face punched dude.” – Drunk Guy on 5th

and finally

“Winners floss.” – Tommy The Tooth

Gawd, how boring is something when you have nothing better to do than sit around quoting assholes and making up names for shit. Don’t splash the pot!

 

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

License To Drive (1988) – Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

This week’s FilmHack inspired me to start my own FanFic Film Play called “License to Lose” where Grandpa Anderson has to fight the DMV in order keep his license after he is diagnosed with dementia.

License to Lose will most likely be a senior-citizen adventure film starring Corey Feldman as a cantankerous old grandpa who must prove he can still drive after his dick son-in-law reports him to the DMV due to a controversial diagnosis of moderate dementia and results in his license being revoked.

Hilarity ensues as Grandpa Feldman tries to get frisky with his DMV examiner in the back seat of his Caddy. Oh Grandpa…you can’t drive in the back seat.

Further hi-jinx follow when Grandpa Feldman tries to order a vanity plate from a high tech kiosk but discovers that “Grandpa” is already taken. Sure he tries Grandpa1, GrandpaRulez, Grandpa with @ symbols for A’s….all taken. That is until he wallops the monitor with a cane. Bingo!

If you are still listening…give me a call.

Coming to a theater…or not…near you…or not.

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) – Show Notes

INTRO:

Oh hi,

This week on LeatherSack we cannibalize a horror classic.

5 youths hop in their hipster van on a quest to uncover the answer to the mystery “Is grandpa where we buried him?” Things really escalate when the gang runs out of gas and must spend the night in an old dilapidated house next door to a family of cannibals.

The action really picks up when Fred and Daphne stumble into some real horror when they follow the “sounds of gas” right into the neighbor’s kill room.

“is that gas? I hear gas”

After Fred and Daphne fail to return, Velma dispatches as a search party of one. Uncharacteristically, Jerry…er…Velma..doesn’t lose his glasses but does take a hatchet to the face while screaming like a girl…because…she is one.

Finally, Shaggy and Scooby are left all alone and must decide between their friends and food but since Jerry…er…Velma took the damn keys the duo heads over to…you guessed it…the neighbor’s house. On the way there Scooby takes a Chain Saw to the chest, ruining his appetite for BBQ for at least a week and Shaggy fails to unmask the Villain but does manage to get away by running in and out of rooms while being chased by vampires, mummies and other baddies.

It’s hilariously horrific.

The End. and in the words of the great Douglas “Duddits” – Scooby Dooby Doo we got some work to do now.. Chain Saw Dance.

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

New Nightmare (1994) Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

And Welcome to Autopsies Are Us, where our motto is “Please don’t cry. The head is going to be alright for the funeral.”

Now if you could please excuse me for just a moment while I try to find an appropriate surface to put down my coffee and lemon poppy seed bread.

Oh wait…there is no such surface in a morgue! So why are we always eating something in here! Do we not get breaks! Us morticians really need to unionize or go on a diet or something. Death makes me hungry.

Hmmm…Let me just see what is under this sheet…maybe there is someplace I can put…

Oh my God… hurk that’s why we don’t lift the sheet past the face. Hurk. Hurk.

Uh oh, Poppy Seed Bread…return to sender. Nope…nope…just some foamy milk substance.

One, Two Dylon’s screaming for you.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111686/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wes_Craven%27s_New_Nightmare

TWITTER

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994) – Like a game of  Freddy’s: Crossy Road. Never download again.

SHOW NOTES

Ahhh… New Line Cinema…The Studio Freddy Built.

Kids laughing

UMC hammer?

This metal hand is alive!! and who has burning

Clever to the hand!! More blood! Don’t be stingy with the blood!

There is Wes now…drinking something…what is he drinking?

So we are on the set of a new Freddy movie? Is this her story? is she drinking Barqs with a straw!

That is a huge Chinese Takeout box.

Bull Tendons. Nerve bundles from a live Doberman?

Picked up a signal from an 80s walkie talkie?

Uh oh…that hand just went all Thing on them.

Oh…Heather was having a nightmare.

That is a serious earthquake.

Do you call your kids Chief?

Quakewatch! 6.8 quake. Oh…so the one they felt was not even the big quake it was an aftershock.

Who has been calling her? Harassing phone calls.

We are starting to get hints and variations of the old Nightmare on Elm Street music.

Those cracks look like Freddy Claws!

Uh oh…kid is watching your performance from the first movie….what the hell is wrong with that kid.

Ye olde house phone.

One…Two…phone call is for you….oh…AND FREDDY’S COMING FOR YOU!

Geez…who cares if Freddy is coming. Earthquakes are a more immediate danger.

The doorbell rang…did she think Freddy was at the door?

LA Limousine Ma’am…

Why does 1994 look so much more like modern film making than 1988 and prior?

LA Lazy Limousine service. We prefer to call you.

Is Julie going to eat that damn orange or not!?

Limo driver likes the big laugh…

Is Heather doing stuff on TV?

My son? No…You mean the son of Freddy? no

Remember when Freddy was dead? yeah that was a thing.

Look at all those Fred Heads.

I like the idea that Hollywood back lots have people walking around in full costume and juggling.

This movie would be shot differently today. With so much reality TV we would for sure film this more like reality TV.

Thanks for the show Kim.

Nope. Got kids now. Horror movies…not for kids.

Answer the damn phone Bob! “We got people for that.”

“Never sleep again…”…Redrum.

Rex is the best. Thanks cotton filled dinosaur! He saved me.

You ain’t gonna be able to sew that Rex….dump that trash and go get a new Rex.

Semper Fi… Cut to the Chase…..cause his name is CHASE!

Dillon is having…episodes.

They have a cheetah in the living room with a saddle…yeah…no wonder the kid is freaked out.

Chuck and Terry are clowns…forget them!

Chase don’t believe you Heather.

Flammable Ford…

Oh no…the Freddy glove is gone!

So the kid is having nightmares…so read him a scary ass Fairy Tale of Hansel and Gretels.

This kid is Freddy’s for sure.

Red yarn for Rex wounds. Good thing you are an actress.

Night Night…Sleep Tight…Don’t Let The Cenobites Bite.

If the birds don’t eat them first.

Earthquakes and falling asleep at the wheel are the real horrors in this movie and poor phone reception.

Chase took a glove to the crotch.

The real nightmare is the police showing up at your door.

Is that a thing you can do? Just head on down to the morgue and walk on in.

I want to see it all…..The head is going to be alright for the funeral..I mean..if that is what you are worried about.

A little puke please.

Wes was apparently going through his Nature disaster phase.

Freddy hides in the corners of coffins.

I’m starting to think the kid is the new nightmare

being a parent is the new Nightmare

ok….maybe you are right…maybe he is crazy.

I would not have easy access to a pool if I had Dillion living in my house.

He is putting things in your mail and you are keeping it in a drawer.

Oh…England is a painter.

Mom Jeans!

I need a pair of those old violet shaded glasses.

I want to be scared for this kid…but he cracks me up too much.

I like how the new Freddy glove stalks the bed like a dorsal fin of a shark.

I always dug how Freddy can start to build power while you are half asleep so you can’t tell what is dream versus what is reality.

haha…won’t answer the phone? I’ll send you a letter every day until you do.

Phone lickers! Just like in the original.

Foam puke is the best puke.

LIAR! He said he was never gonna sleep again!

Hey…it’s the nurse who is in all those insidious movies….and that kid kind of looks like this kid.

Home!

Mmm….kids love pills…yep…

ahhh yeah. I chipmunked those pills.

Wake up lady!!

Tell us all about the rules Wes!

A new fault under the city.

Make another movie! With Johnny Depp?

reading the Jama

Sleep deprivation….more coffee!

Found them! Brutally slashed to death.

You shouldn’t keep a coffee pot in your bedroom Heather…

Shit…good jump scare from the closet Freddy.

Miss Me? Not as much as you would think.

Dylan is in Intensive care…in an oxygen tent. We decided not to call you…THE MOTHER!

She forgot the dino! Bad mom

This movie makes me sleepy.

What did they feed that kid? Dark brown sludge.

Them nurses can’t give them shots like that to a kid.

Heather is going gray.

Julie is so screwed.

Nurses who run!

What is play Skin The Cat?

Reach for me. At least stand up Dylan.

haha…Heather threw an elbow to that nurse’s gut.

I don’t think that is how drugs work for sleeping. Sleep walking does not allow you to be awake anyways.

Don’t play crossy road Dylan!

Freddy Crossy Road.

This highway scene is more intense than it should be.

Multi-fred!

I like that actor dad plays surrogate dad.

So. Dinosaurs can defeat Freddy.

Why are you calling me Nancy John? Why are you calling me John?

Movies are becoming reality.

The Bed…it’s where bad things emerge.

Dad always says “yeah, sure.”

The sleeping pills are breadcrumbs

Nooo…not Rex! anybody but Rex! I cried a little.

You do not take gel coated capsules with no water. That shit just sticks to you.

I think you have had enough Nancy. 3  Sleeping pills will get you there.

ouch…that is a bad bed slide.

Was that a pterodactyl

Freddy is supposed to be some ancient terror.

Snake to the eye

I like Freddy’s new trenchcoat.

That kid is always cutting people’s tendons or stabbing the back of legs.

Sins are listed on the wall.

Oh I know…I’ll hide here in this firepit!

I don’t understand. Fred can stretch.

Wait Freddy said “Meet your maker to Nancy. Is he implying he made her? or is this a who made who situation.

Freddy could not stretch his arm until Nancy woke up in her dream.

Freddy has got one of them dislocating jaws.

Stab to the crotch is one of Fred’s weaknesses.

Perforated tongue!

Now he has a forked tongue. We are certainly bringing comparisons to snake/devil/satan.

Freddy’s home is Romanesque in nature.

It’s the script. If you write the script Freddy will stay where he belongs. On the screen.

Oh hi,

One, Two Dylon’s screaming for you.

Three, Four He’s doing it some more

Five, Six  Your kid makes me sick(s)

Seven, Eight It’s your kid I hate(s)

Nine, Ten Let’s never do this again

 

One, Two Freddy’s got a crush on you

Three, Four Freddy’s at your door

Five, Six Flowers on a stick

Seven, Eight Let’s go on a date

Nine, Ten I promise to stop when you say when.

Oh hi,

My name is Rex. I’m Tyrannical.