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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts Thoughts

Queen of the Damned (2002) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Look, I’m just going to vamp out loud for a minute…vamp out loud…vamp’ing… alright, let’s see If I can understand this film..warning. I’m gonna use some air quotes.

“Eternal Vampire Teen;” LeStat is awakened from his “Sad Nap” when the suburban kids next door start a nu-metal band to piss off their parents. LeStat “tries out” for the band and lands “lead vocals.” Ow. Finger cramps.

LeStat finds some success as a rocker and “Taylor Swifts” (ow) his Vampire Family. (Now that’s a shaming!)

Meanwhile, “Grown ass” teenager, Jesse rebels against her strict orthodox parents by pursuing Bad Boy LeStat after she reads LeStat’s personal diary outlining his failures in love including a cringe worthy moment with his Egyptian Grandma and his subsequent loneliness. Jesse is all like… “I’m lonely too! You get me LeStat! Let’s run away together and live happily ever after!”

At this point I took my own “Sad Nap” and when I woke up Great Great Grandma Vampire was turning to dust which is what happens when you sleep with your Grandkids.

So I thought the movie was over…but apparently, LeStat still had to confront his girlfriend’s father figure to confess he gave Jesse VD. “Vampire Disease.”

But even that wasn’t the end because Lestat still wanted to make up for his misdeeds by delivering Jesse’s dad a Vampire “Life Partner”… who David had apparently been stalking through “Instagram” like painting which weren’t even a thing in 2002 so this whole theory is kind of falling apart at this point. Randy!

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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000) – Filmsack Show Intro

INTRO

Oh hi,

…holy crap it’s time for yet another round of Theme Song Fact Check… where I will attempt to validate the facts of this weeks title song without singing along. God save us all. It’s this again.

Flintstones, meet the Flintstones

No thanks!

and yeah…i’m singing it!

They’re the modern Stone Age Family

I can’t do it! This is the 3rd time I have done this stupid routine in 2 months!

From the town of Bedrock

It’s a fictional town!

They’re a page right out of history

At no time did man and dinosaurs live together!

Alright! I’m skipping right to the end!

When you’re with the Flintstones

Hold on Scott  it’s almost over!

Have a yabba-dabba-doo time

Hey! When are we going to sack Scooby Doo? What we already did?!

A dabba-doo time

We’ll have a gay old time

That used to mean happy! and It still does….in Vegas!

Oh wow! i think I’m gonna be sick. Randy get me some Vitamins… No….not those!!!

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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

The Whole Nine Yards (2000) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Man, all the ladies in this week’s filmsack movie are “smoking!”  am i right? High five guys! Seriously though, why are all the ladies in this movie smoking tobacco products? I have concerns.

Oh….and Amanda Peet…more like Amanda’s Teets! Yeah, Ibbott knows what I’m talking about. You paused that so many times that even Blockbuster couldn’t rewind it. Up top brother! What…c’mon! Don’t leave me hanging!

Well, can I at least get a shout out to inappropriate mentor/student relations? Bruce Willis…40s hooks up with Amanda Peet in her 20s using his influence as a hitman hero. Wow, That whole story line just touched me….inappropriately…and deserves to go to jail.

Overall, I give this movie two teets up.

My eyes are up here Randy.

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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Catwoman (2004) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh, hi meow.

Midnight talent agency how may I claw your eyes out today? Purr Purr.

Oh my yes, Mrs. Berry would love to be in your movie. Meow Meow

What’s that? What are her qualifications? Meow Meow.

Well she has 10’s of minutes of experience with cats. Meow. I would even go so far as to say she is a sort of cat-spert. Meow. Why I saw her just this morning looking at cat pics on the internet. Meow. It’s Caturday after all…Meow Meow.

Excellent I’ll let her know. and yes we do accept payment in the form of cans of tuna. Purr Purr.

What’s that? Sharon Stone is also casted. Hiss. Well  then we are going to need some extra cans of tuna and a scratching post in Mrs. Berry’s dressing room. but no need for a shower in her trailer. She is going to mouth bathe herself after eating 8 cans of tuna on her bed. So sexy. Meow Meow

Alright, I got to go lick my butt for 2 hours. Talk to you later meow.

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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts Thoughts

8 Mile (2002) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

ummm hi, yes…My name is Brian but my friends call me the Reluctant Rhyme Slayer. Well, they never called me that before tonight…but  on the drive over I heard it a lot. I guess I should have probably known something was up. Hey, thanks for signing me up for this guys and oh…by the way…nothing like Karaoke.

alright…so..I guess…umm…can I get a beat? Thanks. Ah yeah…that’s dope. Yo….MTV Raps

Oh before I start I would just like to thank my opponent here for going first and  for his many honest words. While they were very hurtful…. I feel like I have a great opportunity to take those observations and make some real changes in my life. First thing Monday I’m going on a diet and getting some clothes that fit.

Also, can I just say you really took that “spitting rhymes” thing to  heart. I mean I’ve never been that close to an actual rap and I was not aware how much saliva was involved. Look at me…I’m dripping over here.

Alright, so let’s get this over with…what’s that? Times up? Oh Thank God.

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Thoughts

Star Fox 2 – Game Review Notes

INTRO

LINKS

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Fox_2

NOTES

Recently I received my SNES Classic!

Totally stoked to play the never released Star Fox 2

Oh Look at this shit. I have to complete Stage 1 of Starfox 1 to unlock Star Fox 2. There better be a damn good reason.

Memories of StarFox 1. It was all at once…amazing and hard to look at. All those polygons! I preferred the wireframe of look of Star Wars Arcade Game (1983) Plus it didn’t have all this gibberish…you had a real language.

But I have to admit. I really dug the music and sound effects…and ok…if I had to admit. I would say I love giant girder carrying robots.

and my wingmen were pretty fun to watch…Ribbit. I’ve been hit!!

and right in the middle of all the nerble nerble talk was an “incoming enemy”

But man, the anti alias was so bad.

Gawd I hate the first boss on the planet. It makes you realize just how hard it is to tell where your pew pews are going and god forbid you wanted to count how many times you actually hit the target before the shape ship started losing shapes.

Damn photon torpedoes.

Do a barrel roll!

The fail music kills your soul.

Slippy, Falco or Peppy?

Got so caught up in StarFox 1 I didn’t quit until after I was destroyed on Stage 2.

FINALLY! Now I get to play StarFox 2

Loot Box style! Open my Star Farx gift nintenderp!

Polygon Space Dragon!!

We got new characters! A puppy! and a lady fox!

Oh…what’s this! Instead of mission lines I have some kind of map..a real time map?

Ohh…an overall gameplan!   Real time dangers I have to attack on based on proximity and threat…oh geez. This is going to take strategy! But I’m only a space fox!

Andross is back. The Fiend!

We got a couple of planets they are taking.

Got to keep the baddies off Cornelies!

Miyu (fox? lynx)  and Fay (white dog )

Dual barrel ship. We each get our own tube!

Oh shit. I lost Star Fox right away.

Great…now I can quit back or keep on playing as Peppy the Frog. (My WingMan)

Dem rockets is fast

Why did I choose HARD!

Dem rockets is phallical shaped

Oh…my favorite is attacking the battleships!

While I am doing that. The Satellite is overrun. So it’s a never ending process of recapturing shit.

Time to destroy this battleship from the inside…like a proper ship does.

Oh look. I turn into a mech! Side Walk. Side Walk. Side Walk.

That actually wasn’t that hard.

Either I got better as Peppy or playing as a Wingman is easier.

Gah! 25% damage to the planet!

This is kind of hard. Kind of not so hard.

I like it. I have already forgotten all about StarFox 1.

Too bad the N64 came along and destroyed the chances for this game.

So time doesn’t stop when you enter a match but it does slow down for the greater game…on the map.

General Pepper is even spicier in the sequel. I don’t know if that is really true…but it’s a great byline.

dang Star Wolf mercenary team..Traitors!

It’s Peppy Hare.

Legacy[edit]
According to Cuthbert, some programming elements made for the game, such as the camera programs, were reused for the development of Super Mario 64.[23] Miyamoto estimated that 30% of Star Fox 64 came from Star Fox 2, citing ideas such as the all-range mode, multiplayer mode, and Star Wolf scenarios.[24] Several concepts were reused in Star Fox Command, including the map screen and multiple playable characters with their own fighters and statistics.[16] Some of its other gameplay mechanics, such as the walker mode for the Arwings, are used in Star Fox Zero (2016).