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Battle Beyond The Stars (1980) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Greetings organic life forms of Planet Space Farm. Up here Old man…I am in the spaceship that blots out your sun. Oh you are sightless…apologies.. No matter, I see I have caught you all in the common area. Good, I will only have to say this once: I am in possession of a Stellar Converter..now I know most of you rubes have no idea what that means….but let’s just say it turns your planet to fire…fire bad!

Anywho, me and my merry band of mutant marauders were just beebopping through the galaxy on our way to annihilate another planet of forms when we scanned your planet and found you have nothing but Shelter, Food and Face Moles…I could use at least 2 out of those 3 things. So, I will return in 7 rising of your sun to collect all the food and face moles I can eat. Yeah, I’m talking to you John Boy. I’m gonna wear that mole like a bikini on a Space Valkyrie. Valkyrie needs clothes badly.

Now excuse me. I must go soak Lobo’s foot. Just ask Kalo and Tembo…they’ll know what I mean.

Quasimodo Ship Operator. Manipulate the 1970s Earth Type Plasma Globes and set a course for Umateal.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080421/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_Beyond_the_Stars

TWITTER

Battle Beyond The Stars (1980) – This movie will tingle dingle dangle your prangle. Saw this movie as a kid. You are an old man.

SHOW NOTES

  • Rings of light
  • and into the space vagina we go!
  • Battle Beyond….The….STARS…wait…if you have gone beyond the stars you have gone too far…bring it back!
  • Battle of the Stars Wars
  • Corman/Horner
  • This is for sure an amalgamation of Star Trek, Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica
  • A planet of stone with a single green spot
  • They have one weather satellite (ship)
  • Planet Akir?
  • Technology that destroys and cleans up after itself.
  • They have Solar Technology.
  • Good thing we were all hanging out in the common area when the giant sky filling ship shows up.
  • Greetings Solar
  • I possess a stellar converter…if you didn’t know…it is the most powerful weapon.
  • 7 risings of your red giant.
  • Accept me as your master.
  • Snipers forward…let us show them we are serious.
  • I will return in 7 risings…you are mine.
  • I have a promise to keep…but always time to stop by and terrorize some space farmers.
  • ….and you are an old man.
  • to fight creatures of violence….you must use creatures or violence.
  • …you….you are a boy.
  • Each form has its function.
  • Zed is blind and owns a piece of junk ship.
  • The boy did not seem terribly concerned with the death of his friend
  • If we don’t make it…nobody else will
  • Fly you stupid Nell the Space Ship Snail
  • Nell is a Snail
  • I’m your home now kid.
  • What is up with your face bad guys?
  • Remember Lobo…Sador is wearing is left foot. I want to see him wear a foot!
  • My job is to find Mercenaries! and Weapons. Off to see the best weapons dealer in the universe. Doctor!
  • Bundle of wires
  • 8-Track Android
  • Cool…a scooty seat…no!! it has me in its grips…choke choke.
  • Wait a minute…I’m not an android…
  • Lady Space Welder
  • haha…we are here…we are the place where we picked you up to ride in the chair
  • Hello…welcome to my lair…here are my insides….lets talk.
  • When you are in my station you are in my presence.
  • Android Smurfs
  • Forms must prey on other forms to survive.
  • You’ve met my daughter…would you like to breed her….she is ready for the breeding.
  • Don’t you have enough toys.
  • Prepare the conjugal suite
  • Thanks Handy Smurf (Saunders)
  • Chlorophyll content…whatever…
  • it’s bigger…it’s wind
  • There is a form in the dark void…no munities until they are 5…
  • It is horrible out there…forms sucking forms.
  • The breaking out ceremony!
  • Come with us…you know about computers!
  • We didn’t get the weapons…but we did get his daughter…she knows about computers!
  • No weapons at all…but I got an analyzer!
  • They have replied to our ultimatum..it is our emissary…they powdered him.
  • Proud form! They will be an extinct one…nothing left…not even dust.
  • This is space cowboy…SOS…heeelp
  • The Barta? Bible?
  • Take life to save life.
  • No…not from behind…
  • Nell broke her primary programming!!! She must self destruct
  • Space is a sweaty place.
  • Poor planet Umatil and it dust ray.
  • Don’t like it…I’ll turn your planet into a star.
  • Mac Laser 4…We are going to need weapons…but we won’t know how to use them.
  • I’m a salesman…not a teacher kid!
  • My Rig is a Hauler…not a fighter.
  • Cowboy is obviously an earthling.
  • Noooo…not the chromatic space lights! Not to worry…we will blast it.
  • You are about to be eaten
  • Kelvins communicate by heat.
  • Sador lives…and you are fighting him…well why didn’t you say so protein form.
  • The Varda…What would the Varda say
  • ok…what’s the big idea…ya bunch of space freaks.
  • not the betraying limbs!
  • Third Eye Whites
  • Nestor always carries a spare.
  • Nestor’s greatest threat is bored to death.
  • Beam her up Kalo!
  • Tis a pleasure planet! In the darkest areas…
  • Zombie Sex Worker…out of date.
  • There is nothing left but me and the lower forms. The locals cleaned out the den of ill repute
  • I settle disputes very quickly. He is an assassin!
  • Food and Shelter is all we can offer…all we have is culture.
  • The richest mercenary…but at a cost…I am wanted and have no security. A meal and a place to hide. Stolen wealth and no where to spend it.
  • mmmm…pineapple space drink.
  • Valkeries!
  • Ha! anti smoking message right here in space
  • My name is Gelt. I was born in space.
  • 7 ships…
  • She was a hero….she slowed down the snitches and they all died.
  • Play your crystal Xylophone and create the trenches of death!
  • I have a scotch and soda belt.
  • Tingle Dingle Dangle his transistors.
  • Rear Guard 1 is dead dead dead
  • I have an army of genetic mistakes.
  • Only 2 sexes!!
  • Show me the Ropes…aka the sex
  • Does your species have kissing.
  • What is that that you are eating…it is a hotdog…
  • Gelt is like…GG
  • Pull out the sonic tanker.
  • Bloody ears!
  • The Kelvin have no ears…surprise space mother truckers…it is about to get hot in here.
  • Quick…get them to the protein Tanks!
  • Zed will give you the old blind man beating of your life.
  • Nell and Zed are linked. Zed is dead.
  • Not Gelt!!
  • They sent the spare…Do you have a high tolerance to pain…almost none. It is good to have skills.
  • Nestor arm…but it is connected to the Nestor…They are pretty good at arm control
  • Nestor is hit…repeat…Nestor is hit!
  • He is bringing out the Stellar converter.
  • Sybil said..eeeeek….Time to self destruct.
  • Retreat behind the sun.
  • Quasimodo controller
  • 10 nukes for the space cowboy. about 30 seconds to impact…time to play some harmonica. “He didn’t want to fight…but he came anyway.”
  • Hahaha….love Lizard mans battle cry.
  • First law of Barta…Wait you said you couldn’t blow up the nukes earlier.
  • Oh Shad…
  • Nell’s memory banks are done.
  • Old Corsair Nell.
  • Akir is mine…let us laugh…
  • To use greater force against itself…that is the first law of Barta?
  • Nell can’t count down.
  • Sador just wanted to live forever..sheesh
  • They are not dead…they are a part of us!