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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

The Dirty Dozen (1967) – Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

This week on Filmsack the Funky Four were sentence to two and a half hours of hard labor due to some….ummmm…indiscretions….  Saturday night at Ibbott’s house. Ibbott You know what you did ya Telly Savalas looking creep.

Anywho,  Let’s go over the plan.

  1. Login to Netflix, we’ve just begun.
  2. No Netflix not now, watch that new Original later
  3. Start the film, make the popcorn
  4. Fall asleep half way through
  5. Oh no, Wake up and write the intro

And where is Donald Sutherland? Ahhh…on the ground…face down….with a look on his face like he had no idea bullets would hurt so much. Yep…everybody get a good look..alright move along…move along

Hey, what’s the slowest possible way to get out of this intro? Perfect! Let’s go!

No way did they drive that thing all the way down to the beach. Worst road trip ever.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061578/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dirty_Dozen

 

 

 

TWITTER

The Dirty Dozen (1967) – Like poor dumbstruck Donald Sutherland laying face down on the mean cobbled streets outside of a German B&B. The look on his face is the look on my face. We are one.

SHOW NOTES

Death by hanging

20 years hard labor or just prison.

Son…you got court marshal.

C’mon…move….

11! ELEVEN!!

Head stomp.

You don’t know Victor Franco

This is the oldest bunch of Dirty Dozens.

Does he have a clever quip for every prison cell he leaves?

Had there ever been a modern war movie that did not use military style drums and trumpets for it’s soundtrack?

This movie has hints of a musical comedy.

You slav? you slob

Over your arms…over your legs.

2 near idiots

We ain’t shaving in cold water.

No soap…No shaving…ahhh…Dirty Dozen.

Is it the job of the military band leader to look so darn happy?

Sutherland plays a really creepy dummy.

I ate my dog tags. Number 9!

What do you tell 8 ladies to get them to come to your military hut in the middle of nowhere.

And where is Donald Duck?

OMG the hook rope is killing me.

son of a butthole. falling through the roof…c’mon.

Judas tele savalas

Feed The French and Kill The Germans

Poor old dumb Sutherland laying face down on the mean cobbled streets of German Town.

Hehe…everybody keeps taking a peek at dead Sutherland.

Slowest escape vehicle ever.

Run Jefferson run….nope.

Everybody loved Jefferson.

 

 

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh ho ho ho no,

Welcome Kids to Santa’s Workshop! A magical place so wonderful and weird that a Martian could walk right  through that door  and no one would even blink. Speaking of Blinking, let’s head over here and meet Santa’s little Blinky. Currently he is sanding down wooden toys for the boys and girls of the free loving 60s. Oh no, what’s wrong Blinky? Do you have something in your eye? Blink once for yes. Twice for no. ok…all you are doing is blinking a whole lot. Put on some safety goggles ya weird little elf.

and over here is Slinky the elf. The elf who makes the toy that walks down stairs alone or in pairs and everybody loves it. Be careful Slinky don’t fall off that stool! Oh he’s falling off so slowly…I can’t stop watching! Fall faster Slinky!

Oh hey look! IT’S SANTA’S LITTLE WINKY! HEY SANTA’S LITTLE WINKY!  Come on out here. What are you doing? Making something phallic shaped for all the good little boys and girls? no? Checking the naughty list? Twice! Am I on there? Yeah I am.

Bye Santa’s Little Winky! What a dick.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058548/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus_Conquers_the_Martians

 

TWITTER

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) – Like exactly what you would expect but with 100% more Chochem. Eat not, sleep not while watching this movie. Chochem out! #smoked

SHOW NOTES

Is this Austin Powers level Santa? Shagadelic!

Hooray for Santie Claus…Yeah yah…Yeah yah…You’ll soon be hearing…Ho Ho Ho. S-A-N-T-A  C-L-A-U-S

KID TV…duh.

A person to person interview…91 degrees below zero!

Those kids are not kids!

Good old Andy Henderson? Anderson Henderson….he has the jokes…this won’t play well with the elves…they are notoriously grumpy. Just one Jolly Elf…Santa.

This guy is a pretty good Santa…he don’t know names…can’t get the reindeer names…can’t get the reporters name right either…keeps calling him Mr. Anderson. Even though he calls him Mr Anderson…or is his accent that bad.

Mrs. Claus. is Aunt Bea.

Why is this bearded child named Winky planing toys.

Oh…Winky made that…Wow-Wee-Wow

Meanwhile on Mars.

Lazy Martian takes a nap on the floor.

All Martians use their tickle rays.

Oh…she went to the food pill center…

How long does it take for earth programs to reach Mars?

This Martian headgear…it’s 2 antennas and some ribbed copper gas piping. Are their brains made of gas? gas brains?

No wonder the kids can’t sleep. Who can sleep on a square pillow on a flat table under a triangle being played by your father.

Hello Dropel…I see you are twisting the knob thing again. which controls the roomba?

Hamburger Food Pill, Buttered Asparagus, Mashed Potatoes (why would you pill form mashed potatoes…they are pretty much reduced to their lowest denominator already) and a special treat…Chocolate Layered Cake Pills. This pill most is most pleased with.

I had to use the sleep spray on them again…aka…Martian Nyquil.

Yeah…go to the forest and see Chochum…he’ll know what to do!!

When will us earthlings realize that smart watches are not the future…smart belts are. Bing…

…Voldar Reporting…I don’t like it….but Voldar reporting.

Meanwhile in the creepy ass Martian wilderness…a kindergarten class. 800 years old!

“…You can’t dismiss the wisdom of centuries….” Martian voice of reason  “I can (Deep voice).” – Voldar

Everything is bubbly on Mars…is that a thing?

Mars calling Chochum…come in Chochum..it’s the council chiefs.

Wow…I got to say…Chochum does not disappoint.

They eat not. They sleep not.

Middle of Septober!! no no…on Earth.

What is a Christmas?

WE HAVE NO CHILDREN ON MARS! Adult minds in kids bodies.

Our electronic teaching machines.

ahh…the Children are rebelling…going to reject those food pills.

Hey…where did Chochem go?

Haha…I laugh…I guess that takes care of that – Voldar

Ahh…the old 60s era space ships were always controlled with little turny nobs.

“So that is what the Earth People call cities.” – Voldar

Turn to 4th Power…Turn to 5th Power

“It’s like looking for a spec of space dust in a comet’s tail…WAIT! I SEE HIM! I SEE SANTA CLAUS!!” – also Voldar V-07

We have a slight case of Droppo!

Voldar’s disgust is my favorite disgust in any movie ever.

This is quite the show of military force for the Earth.

Was this funded by the US Govt?

Lowering landing legs is hard as F on the Martian Ship.

Billy and Betty of Earth. Billy is a believer!

Voldar don’t take no shit from earth kids.

Droppo…Loose lips sink ships.

Taking a nap in the radar box….

…Now…or never?! -Voldar

We don’t need Torg!

Is a ladder leading out of the rocket exhaust really the best place?

uh oh…Betty sounds like she has hypothermia

haha…love that polar bear! loooove

Crush them Torg!…Crush ’em real good!

Billy’s smacktalk is lacking…you martians.

Mars used to be the planet of war – Voldar

Torg only listens to me. Just like Alexa

Santa is a goober…but he has great power. Turned Torg into a toy.

haha…what kind of porp gun is that…porp…porp.  Why…why did you do that to my helpers?

Oh no…you do not porp Mrs Claus! You think Voldar has a bad attitude.

Santa locked up Torg with a command.

Van Green…the Starshot project. We are going to forget about the testing.

Martianmellows…Voldar is not amused.

haha…Billy and Betty only laugh at Santa’s jokes when it means presents.

Droppo! Soup, Beef Stew and Chocolate Ice Cream.

Voldar is about to eject the earthlings.

Thanks Billy for telling us all about airlocks and space.

How is Santa gonna fit in there?

haha…Voltar made a joke. Who’s in the airlock? No one now….hahah…now who is funny!

Martian Fist Fight!

Air ducts are like Chimneys

Never thought about how creepy it is that Santa never comes into houses through doors.

The power of 12 megatrons

Head kisses.

Santa is laughing at you…you dumb Martian kids

So Santa’s power is to give away infectious laughs?

Elves put out of work by robots and automation? But Santa doesn’t even like the idea of a Rocket Sled.

So do Martians use mail?

These dolls look like earthlings. Don’t you have any Martian Sensitive dolls?

Billy and Better really wear their emotions on their sleeve.

Droppo is going to overdose on food pills

How can they not tell that is Droppo

Put on the Nuclear Curtain!

You can’t outsmart Droppo…he’s too clever

Santa doesn’t fist fight…he just makes you feel like you are losing your mind until you beg for mercy.

yay Droppo wins

 

 

 

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Night of the Living Dead (1968) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Psst…Ben…over here…it’s me…your pal Harry…Listen..dying here on the cellar floor has got me thinking about what’s important in life and our roles in society.

It’s like the universe is trying to tell us something man.

I mean, the dead are coming back to life and You, a black man, shooting me, a bald white man named Harry…irony… and my ghoul of a child eating my flesh…. and then there is my wife…she’s been on me all day like some kind dingle berry caught in my ass hair. Oh I’m “Harry” down there let me tell ya… in a very non ironic way…I wanna see Morissette sing about that, don’t ya think.

Anywho, what was I babbling on about?  oh yeah…I just can’t die and come back to life and eat your flesh without telling you something first.

cough cough…I just want you to know…clear throat…I told ya so.

CELLAR FOR THE WIN. You’re in my house now bitch.

“Let’s stay upstairs…board up the windows and doors…blah blah blah…” How is that working out for ya Ben.

Ghoulie Attack!