BloodRayne (2005) – Yes, hello Mr. Loaf. This is Uwe Boll. No. Uwe. No. You Wee. Whatever, listen. I have this film about vampires and I would like you to star as Ben Kinsley’s gay vampire lover. What’s that? You would do anything for my movie, but you won’t do that? right. yeah. I get  it. Very funny Mr. Loaf. What’s that now? You have a better idea? Right. Bed full of topless women. Hmmm…no no…yeah…boobies is certainly another direction we could explore. Well. thank you Mr. Loaf.= it’s been a…. Oh. I can…so just what…call you Meat? ok. Thank you Meat. Right…yeah…viva la boobies to you too.


BloodRayne – spends more time in a cage than Tyson Chicken. If you you are into that sort of thing. This movie is for you.


Stuff I Loved:

An Uwe Boll Film. Alright…we are already in trouble

Rayne spends more time in a cage than Tyson Chicken

Far be it for me to criticize someone else’s looks. But did they use a prosthetic nose on Ben Kinsley in this movie?

Rodriguez would have made a better Rayne.

This movie has no joy. What is there to lose?

Rayne rapes her quote unquote boyfriend.

Love when Rayne and Sloth battle in the dungeon hall

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