Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) – Show Notes

INTRO:

Oh hi,

This week on LeatherSack we cannibalize a horror classic.

5 youths hop in their hipster van on a quest to uncover the answer to the mystery “Is grandpa where we buried him?” Things really escalate when the gang runs out of gas and must spend the night in an old dilapidated house next door to a family of cannibals.

The action really picks up when Fred and Daphne stumble into some real horror when they follow the “sounds of gas” right into the neighbor’s kill room.

“is that gas? I hear gas”

After Fred and Daphne fail to return, Velma dispatches as a search party of one. Uncharacteristically, Jerry…er…Velma..doesn’t lose his glasses but does take a hatchet to the face while screaming like a girl…because…she is one.

Finally, Shaggy and Scooby are left all alone and must decide between their friends and food but since Jerry…er…Velma took the damn keys the duo heads over to…you guessed it…the neighbor’s house. On the way there Scooby takes a Chain Saw to the chest, ruining his appetite for BBQ for at least a week and Shaggy fails to unmask the Villain but does manage to get away by running in and out of rooms while being chased by vampires, mummies and other baddies.

It’s hilariously horrific.

The End. and in the words of the great Douglas “Duddits” – Scooby Dooby Doo we got some work to do now.. Chain Saw Dance.

LINKS:

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

Directed by Tobe Hooper. With Marilyn Burns, Edwin Neal, Allen Danziger, Paul A. Partain. Two siblings visit their grandfather’s grave in Texas along with three of their friends and are attacked by a family of cannibalistic psychopaths.

 

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre – Wikipedia

The concept for The Texas Chain Saw Massacre arose in the early 1970s while Tobe Hooper was working as an assistant film director at the University of Texas at Austin and as a documentary cameraman. He had already developed a story involving the elements of isolation, the woods, and darkness.

 

TWITTER:

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) – “Come on Brian, It’s going to be a fun movie.” Phtllll…Phtllll…

SHOW NOTES:

Is it Tobe like Lobe or Tobe like Toby?

This intro sounds like Law and Order…

Why does that voice sound familiar?

Yoooouths.

Invalid Franklin!!

The film which you are about to see is an account of the tragedy which befell a group of five youths, in particular Sally Hardesty and her invalid brother, Franklin. It is all the more tragic in that they were young. But, had they lived very, very long lives, they could not have expected nor would they have wished to see as much of the mad and macabre as they were to see that day. For them an idyllic summer afternoon drive became a nightmare. The events of that day were to lead to the discovery of one of the most bizarre crimes in the annals of American history, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

Sally and Franklin. Sally and Frank. Frank and Sally. One can walk. The other not so much. Raspberries.

So more tragic for the young!

Anals of American history.

August 18th, 1973 ….It’s a date!

mmm…crunchy noises in the dark.

There is an iconic sound. Supposed to be bulb flashes. Violin?

This is disturbing…them is dead body parts.

…fade in…news caster talking about indictment….Grave Robbing in Texas!

NEWS

That don’t look like grave robbing….it looks like art…oh it is art!

The head or extremities were removed.

Hausus ain’t saying nothing!

Damn you Texaco! You done blew up your storage lockers!

San Francisco has Cholera.

Jumper.

Atlanta has a building fall. Tragedy all over the country. Even in Gary Indiana.

Dead armadillo

This is the worst road trip ever.

more news: Police in Dallas arrested a young couple today…18 month old daughter chained in the attack of a dilapidated house…

If you are already outside…and I don’t mean to be insensitive here…would you pee in an old rusty coffee canister if you were in a wheelchair? Is anybody looking?

The wind and dirt from that semi pushed Franklin down the hill….AND I AM TRYING NOT TO LAUGH.

Poor Franklin…look at that

Saturn is a bad influence…in retrograde! We saw retrograde. It was worse than this.

So are we saying these day workers like to listen to day worker music?

“Say fella…”

I’m already super uncomfortable.  Feel like I am some place I don’t want to be.

“He didn’t look dug up to me.”

Road Trip “Guess the smell!” FRANKLIN!

That cow looks sick…all these cows look sick…nom nom nom

“They usually wouldn’t kill them on the first lick.” Foreshadowing?

Boom…slip…Boom…slip…

Franklin may have no mobility below his waist…but he sure makes use of his upper body gestures.

Franklin don’t like hot heat.

Let’s pick up hitchhikers! This was 74…you could and still did do that.

“I think we just picked up Dracula.”

Hitcher’s family works at the slaughter house.

Making the headcheese. Except for the tongue…you don’t want to use the tongue…but the tendons and jowls!

Dude took Franklin’s knife.

Hitcher is a cutter.

Is that an old timer pocket knife?

So they ride for hours with news shit…then pick up a hitcher and start listening to good time music.

Want to see my knife?

This hitcher is special…

Yes Franklin…he took your picture.

My brother makes a good headcheese…you would like it!.

Pay me 2 dollars! Pay me 2 dollars!!

Fine…you don’t want my picture. I’ll burn it in my convenient fire foil. FIREWORKS and then cut ya!! 2 dollars!!

more raspberries than grandma’s raspberry pie with headcheese crust.

F*ing Frankin. Stop getting hurt.

…and that was the last GD hitcher they picked up. FORESHADOW!

Will you stop reading from the book of foreshadows and astrology

Hey Trump. Don’t stare at the sun.

Gulf…there is a place I haven’t bought gas from in 20 years.

“I got no gas.” – Gas Guy …. “How about a sign.” – me

Alien Opie is doing a fine job washing that windshield…and grill…and my eyes.

Frank you maniac…You are tearing up the Van! Ya goober.

You think that is blood on my knife?

Yes Franklin. You did say something to make that crazy guy mad.

Alright! Driver got us some BBQ!

Uh oh…he wrote something on the Van in blood. It’s been marked.

Everybody is always wanting to touch Franklin’s knife…that is one nice knife.

What the hell is Franklin eating. That does not look like BBQ…or a pickle….or anything that I would put in my mouth. It’s headcheese ain’t it…but where did he get headcheese? He is in a wheelchair.

All that bat shit crazy

Birth place of Bela Lugosi. Lot’s of Vampire references in this movie. Are we implying we are dealing with vampires.

What the hell is he eating!

Durn..that is the creepiest spider nest ever

Sally was fascinated with Zebras.

Hey Franklin can get around the old house right….yeah…let’s leave him hear.

Franklin is taking on the personality of the hitchhiker.

“If I have anymore fun today I don’t think I am going to be able to take it.” – Franklin

Franklin is both the comedy and the drama around here.

Hey! Who put this pillow over here with chicken bones on it? Saaaallleeey.

Franklin has been in that chair since he was a kid.

“Gasoline! I hear gasoline!” “I know…I’ll sell my guitar!”…maybe if it was a banjo.

“Hey honey…c’mere and look at this…it’s cars under a tarp….” We should keep looking around!”

Those piggie noises do not sound piggi….OMG! WHAT JUST HAPPENED!

Wow…Kirk…you stumbled right into that.

I am assuming that is how cattle do when you hammer them…is that what we are implying.

…hammer hammer…shut the door.

alright….I’m gonna need a worm’s eye view of some shorty shorts here. Sex…Violence

Dude…if there was that much death in that house there is no way you would be able to stand the stench..

Who’s your decorator? Martha Leatherface?

Some of these bones are human….and TURTLE!

This is the horror decor montage you are looking for.

I thought that was shag carpet…that is feathers ain’t it.

Wait…you ain’t KIRK!

no no no…not the meathook…no…noo noo….ouch.

Oh look…it’s a chainsaw…oh…and here comes the massacre.

I bet people shit their pants back in 1974

Sally is always pulling this bad sister shit…lost my knife.

“There is a trail down there better those two old sheds”….hell…even I know how to get there now.

Kirk….Kirk…Spock!

Dissonance. clang clang. Dissonance clang clang

Come on Jerry…just go back…nobody is “goofing” on you Jerry.

Is that Leatherface playing a kazoo.

I need a room visible from my front door that is scary as fook.

Ok…was she awake in the freezer or not…she can’t shake the freezer and then wake up when the door is opened.

Leatherface is paranoid…SO MANY HIPPIES TO HAMMER! Must hammer hippies!

Leatherface needs fewer gums.

Dang it…it is in retrograde.

Siblings stick together live.

C’mon Sally…leave without Jerry!

Check out the lungs on ole Franklin. JERRY!

Sally…we ought to go to that gas station…also, Sally…we ought to go to that gas station.

Franklin…do not give Sally that flashlight…she loses everything…remember the knife.

“Sally they took the keys! Sally we don’t got the keys.”

Sally has had enough!

I can only imagine how hard it is to push a wheel chair through the woods.

Franklin was easy work for Leatherface. Kinda hated to see ole Franklin go out so easy.

I wonder if Leatherface i multitasking while chasing Sally. I mean his dad has been after him to clear out that thicket for weeks. Two tasks one saw.

Sally screams real good…and that run.

Ain’t no screen door going to keep me out of a house if I am being chased by a dude with a chainsaw.

Oh no…Leatherface is locked out of his house.

Wait…is he cutting out that shape into the door they drew on the van?

Sally kind of startled Jerry.

Now see…that jump out of that window for Sally…that is what I would have done on instinct.

hahah…sally running by the camera screaming..that is gold Jerry…gold!

You know…typically you hate thickets in the woods….but when running from a chainsaw wielding nut…kind of good.

It’s hard to run with a chainsaw. props.

We ain’t got no phone or gas here…what the hell do we have in this gas station…sacks, rope, brooms and BBQ…lots of human BBQ. FRANKLIN ATE HUMAN!

Beaten with a broom.

Yeah…he is such a dad…even murdering Dad makes Dad jokes and worry about power consumption.

Half wits! What did screw to make those kids.

“You nap haired idiot. ”

So the hitcher was the grave robber. He’s the artist. Photographer.

Dad is yelling at his youngin’ like he forgot to get the groceries out of the car…and look what you did to the door!

Where are the children? Chicklettes in the bucket?

Grandpa?

Hey Leatherface…give me a hand with grandpa….

I thought that dude was dead what was dead.

Seems a bit inefficient to keep grandpa upstairs in a chair. Wait…was grandpa making all those piggie noises…or is it just that room.

oh…gross….grandpa is a blood junkie baby…and Sally is out. No thanks…prefer to not be here…going nappy time now.

Hey they have a Armadillo/Chicken/Goat/Ducken.

c’mon hitcher…I gave you a ride!

Grandpa is riding low in that chair.

Pa…don’t do no killing…just cooking.

Now Pa don’t got no control.

She seems to escalate…then resolve.

That is some close up.

60 in 5 minutes…Grandpa is the best…won’t hurt a bit.

I wonder if Grandpa even understands that he is killing people.

Grandpa be like…I need a lighter hammer….no…I don’t wanna…

shit…even a glancing blow would hurt like a mother fucker.

Sally be swinging arms and jumping out windows…cause Sally is a survivor!

I be this actress was tired of screaming by the end of this movie.

Hitcher slashing at Sally’s back…that is brutal.

Hurley the truck driver…be like…nope…out.

Live by the saw…get chopped by the saw.

What about the poor chicken truck driver?

You just know that pickup driver is another one of them.

Sally laughing it up.

Leatherface….needs something to saw…Leatherface saw the sky!!

 

 

New Nightmare (1994) Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

And Welcome to Autopsies Are Us, where our motto is “Please don’t cry. The head is going to be alright for the funeral.”

Now if you could please excuse me for just a moment while I try to find an appropriate surface to put down my coffee and lemon poppy seed bread.

Oh wait…there is no such surface in a morgue! So why are we always eating something in here! Do we not get breaks! Us morticians really need to unionize or go on a diet or something. Death makes me hungry.

Hmmm…Let me just see what is under this sheet…maybe there is someplace I can put…

Oh my God… hurk that’s why we don’t lift the sheet past the face. Hurk. Hurk.

Uh oh, Poppy Seed Bread…return to sender. Nope…nope…just some foamy milk substance.

One, Two Dylon’s screaming for you.

LINKS

New Nightmare (1994)

Directed by Wes Craven. With Heather Langenkamp, Robert Englund, Jeff Davis, Miko Hughes. A demonic force has chosen Freddy Krueger as its portal to the real world. Can Heather Langenkamp play the part of Nancy one last time and trap the evil trying to enter our world?

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare – Wikipedia

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare is a 1994 American slasher film written and directed by Wes Craven, the original creator of A Nightmare on Elm Street .

TWITTER

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994) – Like a game of  Freddy’s: Crossy Road. Never download again.

SHOW NOTES

Ahhh… New Line Cinema…The Studio Freddy Built.

Kids laughing

UMC hammer?

This metal hand is alive!! and who has burning

Clever to the hand!! More blood! Don’t be stingy with the blood!

There is Wes now…drinking something…what is he drinking?

So we are on the set of a new Freddy movie? Is this her story? is she drinking Barqs with a straw!

That is a huge Chinese Takeout box.

Bull Tendons. Nerve bundles from a live Doberman?

Picked up a signal from an 80s walkie talkie?

Uh oh…that hand just went all Thing on them.

Oh…Heather was having a nightmare.

That is a serious earthquake.

Do you call your kids Chief?

Quakewatch! 6.8 quake. Oh…so the one they felt was not even the big quake it was an aftershock.

Who has been calling her? Harassing phone calls.

We are starting to get hints and variations of the old Nightmare on Elm Street music.

Those cracks look like Freddy Claws!

Uh oh…kid is watching your performance from the first movie….what the hell is wrong with that kid.

Ye olde house phone.

One…Two…phone call is for you….oh…AND FREDDY’S COMING FOR YOU!

Geez…who cares if Freddy is coming. Earthquakes are a more immediate danger.

The doorbell rang…did she think Freddy was at the door?

LA Limousine Ma’am…

Why does 1994 look so much more like modern film making than 1988 and prior?

LA Lazy Limousine service. We prefer to call you.

Is Julie going to eat that damn orange or not!?

Limo driver likes the big laugh…

Is Heather doing stuff on TV?

My son? No…You mean the son of Freddy? no

Remember when Freddy was dead? yeah that was a thing.

Look at all those Fred Heads.

I like the idea that Hollywood back lots have people walking around in full costume and juggling.

This movie would be shot differently today. With so much reality TV we would for sure film this more like reality TV.

Thanks for the show Kim.

Nope. Got kids now. Horror movies…not for kids.

Answer the damn phone Bob! “We got people for that.”

“Never sleep again…”…Redrum.

Rex is the best. Thanks cotton filled dinosaur! He saved me.

You ain’t gonna be able to sew that Rex….dump that trash and go get a new Rex.

Semper Fi… Cut to the Chase…..cause his name is CHASE!

Dillon is having…episodes.

They have a cheetah in the living room with a saddle…yeah…no wonder the kid is freaked out.

Chuck and Terry are clowns…forget them!

Chase don’t believe you Heather.

Flammable Ford…

Oh no…the Freddy glove is gone!

So the kid is having nightmares…so read him a scary ass Fairy Tale of Hansel and Gretels.

This kid is Freddy’s for sure.

Red yarn for Rex wounds. Good thing you are an actress.

Night Night…Sleep Tight…Don’t Let The Cenobites Bite.

If the birds don’t eat them first.

Earthquakes and falling asleep at the wheel are the real horrors in this movie and poor phone reception.

Chase took a glove to the crotch.

The real nightmare is the police showing up at your door.

Is that a thing you can do? Just head on down to the morgue and walk on in.

I want to see it all…..The head is going to be alright for the funeral..I mean..if that is what you are worried about.

A little puke please.

Wes was apparently going through his Nature disaster phase.

Freddy hides in the corners of coffins.

I’m starting to think the kid is the new nightmare

being a parent is the new Nightmare

ok….maybe you are right…maybe he is crazy.

I would not have easy access to a pool if I had Dillion living in my house.

He is putting things in your mail and you are keeping it in a drawer.

Oh…England is a painter.

Mom Jeans!

I need a pair of those old violet shaded glasses.

I want to be scared for this kid…but he cracks me up too much.

I like how the new Freddy glove stalks the bed like a dorsal fin of a shark.

I always dug how Freddy can start to build power while you are half asleep so you can’t tell what is dream versus what is reality.

haha…won’t answer the phone? I’ll send you a letter every day until you do.

Phone lickers! Just like in the original.

Foam puke is the best puke.

LIAR! He said he was never gonna sleep again!

Hey…it’s the nurse who is in all those insidious movies….and that kid kind of looks like this kid.

Home!

Mmm….kids love pills…yep…

ahhh yeah. I chipmunked those pills.

Wake up lady!!

Tell us all about the rules Wes!

A new fault under the city.

Make another movie! With Johnny Depp?

reading the Jama

Sleep deprivation….more coffee!

Found them! Brutally slashed to death.

You shouldn’t keep a coffee pot in your bedroom Heather…

Shit…good jump scare from the closet Freddy.

Miss Me? Not as much as you would think.

Dylan is in Intensive care…in an oxygen tent. We decided not to call you…THE MOTHER!

She forgot the dino! Bad mom

This movie makes me sleepy.

What did they feed that kid? Dark brown sludge.

Them nurses can’t give them shots like that to a kid.

Heather is going gray.

Julie is so screwed.

Nurses who run!

What is play Skin The Cat?

Reach for me. At least stand up Dylan.

haha…Heather threw an elbow to that nurse’s gut.

I don’t think that is how drugs work for sleeping. Sleep walking does not allow you to be awake anyways.

Don’t play crossy road Dylan!

Freddy Crossy Road.

This highway scene is more intense than it should be.

Multi-fred!

I like that actor dad plays surrogate dad.

So. Dinosaurs can defeat Freddy.

Why are you calling me Nancy John? Why are you calling me John?

Movies are becoming reality.

The Bed…it’s where bad things emerge.

Dad always says “yeah, sure.”

The sleeping pills are breadcrumbs

Nooo…not Rex! anybody but Rex! I cried a little.

You do not take gel coated capsules with no water. That shit just sticks to you.

I think you have had enough Nancy. 3  Sleeping pills will get you there.

ouch…that is a bad bed slide.

Was that a pterodactyl

Freddy is supposed to be some ancient terror.

Snake to the eye

I like Freddy’s new trenchcoat.

That kid is always cutting people’s tendons or stabbing the back of legs.

Sins are listed on the wall.

Oh I know…I’ll hide here in this firepit!

I don’t understand. Fred can stretch.

Wait Freddy said “Meet your maker to Nancy. Is he implying he made her? or is this a who made who situation.

Freddy could not stretch his arm until Nancy woke up in her dream.

Freddy has got one of them dislocating jaws.

Stab to the crotch is one of Fred’s weaknesses.

Perforated tongue!

Now he has a forked tongue. We are certainly bringing comparisons to snake/devil/satan.

Freddy’s home is Romanesque in nature.

It’s the script. If you write the script Freddy will stay where he belongs. On the screen.

Oh hi,

One, Two Dylon’s screaming for you.

Three, Four He’s doing it some more

Five, Six  Your kid makes me sick(s)

Seven, Eight It’s your kid I hate(s)

Nine, Ten Let’s never do this again

 

One, Two Freddy’s got a crush on you

Three, Four Freddy’s at your door

Five, Six Flowers on a stick

Seven, Eight Let’s go on a date

Nine, Ten I promise to stop when you say when.

Oh hi,

My name is Rex. I’m Tyrannical.

 

Dreamcatcher (2003) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Greetings human, I am Dudley Duddits of the  Space Mounties and I am in pursuit of Donnie Duddits. He’s….uh…how do you humans say…special?

Apparently, he has emotionally attached himself to a cartoon dog with a speech impediment and hopes to endear himself to you humans by taking on these properties. Wow, this is more complicated than necessary.

Anywho, have you encountered such a being?

Also, did you know, it’s butt weasel season? Be sure to cover your orifices human.

Coincidently, we have been monitoring your people…and I have a friendly bet going with the crew.

if it is bestiality when a human attempts to mate with an animal…gross by the way…is it then called me-stiality when one attempts to please oneself? The Galaxy wants to know.

Geez, how much Oxy and Day time TV was King watching when he wrote this. Kiss my bender.

LINKS

Dreamcatcher (2003)

Directed by Lawrence Kasdan. With Morgan Freeman, Thomas Jane, Jason Lee, Damian Lewis. Friends on a camping trip discover that the town they’re vacationing in is being plagued in an unusual fashion by parasitic aliens from outer space.

Dreamcatcher (2003 film) – Wikipedia

Dreamcatcher is a 2003 American science fiction horror film based on Stephen King’s novel of the same name. Directed by Lawrence Kasdan and co-written by Kasdan and screenwriter William Goldman, the film stars Damian Lewis, Thomas Jane, Jason Lee and Timothy Olyphant as four friends who encounter an invasion of parasitic aliens.

 

TWITTER

Dreamcatcher (2003) – Like expressing something in 280 characters when 140 is sufficient. Still room for a Butt Weasels.

SHOW NOTES

This sure is a lot of opening credits

This was 5 minutes after X-Files movie?

It’s a dream-catcher and SSDD

EARLY GRAVE! I prefer being late.

King never shy’s away from Fat as Fear…

Memory Warehouse

Time to off yourself. Psycho Psychiatrist. Jonesy?

Great you just shot the guy next door.

So far…office jobs.

Is everybody Psychic?

another desk job.

Best fried clams in the state…that is a weird first date.

The key trick does not get you dates.

Half past 6…she ain’t gonna be there.

Jason Lee is the only one without a job. Unless you count drunk with a toothpick.

SSDD

Beaver has nothing. Jonesy has wife and kids.

Save ON MEATS!

As soon as we figured out a way to show people getting hit by cars on film. We used the hell out of it.

Otch Out Fo Miestr Gay

Bite My Bag.

Wait…Beaver got a blow job from a lady after Bingo?

Derry? Like in IT and other Stephen King small town stories?

In the movies. Kiss when you wake up?

Promiseland….reference.

 

Mental Warehouse.

Keep Duddits on the 3rd level

20 years out to Hole in the wall.

Duddits is our dreamcatcher.

Remember when….

Scooby Doo lunch box!

You want to eat half of this dog turd? I mean that is like 5 way turd

Pete can fly.

What kind of bully standoff is this. Happens all the time in Stephen King world.

Blue Buyousuusi

Oooby oooby dooo…

I duddits!

No Bounce, No Play…sometimes I think Stephen King writes down everything he thinks.

Jonesy’s brain warehouse is the warehouse where they meet duddits

Snow in the eye!! glasses..phew.

That’s no deer! That’s a maaan! A stumble man.

Jonesy got ran over by a car and 6 months later only has a limp.

Indian Charm…catches nightmares.

They keep the Dreamcatcher in the hole int he wall.

Is it on the wagon or off the wagon.

Henry forced the guy to eat himself to death. Is that ever listed as cause of death?

Toothpicks are gross.

Mother used to feed me pea soup…

Have you been eating wood chuck turds?

There are fart jokes….there are lots of gross fart jokes.

If you need to urk. also, don’t take a shit in the linen closet.

The kids do not look much like the adults.

Know what is a bad idea…getting a run at a hill in the snow.

I’ve never flipped a car. Unsure if I would be laughing about it.

Peanut Butter calms me down. How do you eat peanut butter…spoon? butter knife? finger?

Great jump scare…saw it from a mile away…but still. Miss Roadkill got me.

Trying to keep a toothpick in your mouth while yelling at a helicopter.

Why is God (Morgan Freeman.) watching me with his huge prosthetic eye worms?

Is this SSDD? In other words is this just weird shit or has the day finally come?

haha…Scooby Dooby Doo we got some work to do now.

What the hell does No Bounce, No Play mean.

Turd is a clinker.

Did you guys used to soak toothpicks in cinnamon?

Humor and Horror go hand in hand.

Blue Bayou comfort song.

Blue vs Gray?

That is one strong worm creature.

Oh man…that door handle coming off in your hand…that is the worst!

Beaver made a sacrifice. Was his power premonitions? bad feelings? I got a bad feeling about this Jonesy

That is one big alien. He’s translucent…and slimy.

Oh…his head popped into a red mist…gross.

Time to mobilize the military.

Is it my imagination or are Morgan Freeman’s eyebrows even bigger in this movie.

Named after that broad in Aliens.

Grey Boy look…

The Shit Weasels!

Blue Boy…Bucko

The alien only infects some.

We are not regular army…thank goodness Maple came in to explain it back to us.

Oh…do not Scout’s honor when the general has a loaded gun.

So much blood in this movie.

25 years he has been fighting aliens.

In Fast and hard , out clean and smiling.

She ain’t napping for farts!

The scene everybody loves…the Jonesy snap to smile.

The truck that handles like a luxury car.

Know things. Talk to one another. Duddits gave them the gift.

Writing your name in the snow….dick chomp!

Fire to the crotch is the only way to stop those things.

Mighty Mouse is on the way!

Beaver had nothing in his head.

 

Pete knows Mr. Gray is a bond Villian.

whisper messages while talking. Repeat emphasis?

The red stuff looks like rust for organics.

He used Beaves catchphrase.

Did he not notice the dead man in the tub?

Oh. They lay eggs…really gross eggs.

Liquid Fire!!

oh no…they already hatched!

King uses leaches and wormy things a lot.

What is up with these guys and dropping sticks.

Can you light a match with your finger? Strike anywhere matches.

ohh…they use a maneuver called dreamcatcher with duddits in the middle.

Love this music they use when trying to locate the missing girl. It reminds me of 90s Goosebumps music.

Kids love hanging around trains! In King stories anyways.

Alien space crash.

I’m that dog. I’m that monster.

Aww…the greys are so swee….oh fuck! What are those things! Wormy shits…kill ’em all.

That ship has a self destruct and boy..

Bite my bag.

Wait…has he infested Jonesys body or is he mimicking it? Cause he just morphed into an alien.

Where is Jonesy? Is he in the head?

Grote…don’t eat the meat!

He’s got 4 boxes of Duddits…I could eat 4 boxes of Duddits at the movies. mmm…Milk Duddits.

That is a lot of hazmat suits.

Do we still say “Getting too old for this shit?”

The study shows squats.

A hitchhiker is our greatest fear.

Blue Boys, Blue Zone, Blue Camp. Blue Blue.

Shop at Walmart and never misses an episode of Friends

hehe…in true military fashion. He calls Eddie Dr. Boston…cause that is where he is from.

Over the Curtis line!

Time for some Star Wars wipes….lots of them.

call 1-800-Henry…that ain’t even numbers.

How much crack am I smoking right now? The gun is a phone. MY GUN IS A PHONE..EVERYTHING IS A PHONE.

Nice sweater jacket. Lukemia! No…not Duddits! Not the duds! Also, those Scooby Doo lunchboxes are indestructible.

Victory pose mom!

Uh oh…that gun has a tracker in it.

Keeping an Asian in your Truck closet.

What happened in Montana? Several mentions. Shit must have went bad. Tell us that story!

Wipe!

He ate the trooper!

Poor old Donnie. He looks sick!

Mr Gay is Mr. Gray. Mr. Gray wants war…or water. Duds

One worm…One worm to kill the world.

Would the military let a helicopter just fly away without pursuit?

WIPE

Go faster! Oops…car and snow no go. No Snow. No Go.

That may be overkill to kill somebody with a helicopter.

Mutual Kill.

Morgan Freeman wore fake eyebrows! What!

Shoot him! Shoot him!

How heavy are manhole covers?

I can understand that big eel weasel getting int he water and causing problems. But that little jiggly worm would prolly get eet.

So the alien was inside…but is a mist? that can become solid? or did it come out of his butthole? or did the mist come from his butthole?

I want to dress as Duds for Halloween.

Duds needs to blow his nose.

Duds is heavy man. Heavier than he looks.

You thought you got me…I got you!! I Duddits!

Do all aliens have scorpion tails?

ew ew ew…red stuff! red stuff!

squish.

But to black!

Meanwhile back at the hole in the wall.

Fuck Me Freddy

Kiss My Bender

Bite My Bag

Fuckaree/row/roo

Jesus Christ-Bananas

Doodlyfuck

The Electric Horseman (1979) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi, this week’s movie is about a horse (a fricken’ horse) and his man. A horseman.

Why a horse movie you may ask? I’ll tell you why we watched this dumbass horse movie, because I made the mistake of revealing to my friends (and the Internet), my distrust for these muscle bound beasts of burden with brains the size of a human child’s brain. Brains by the way which horses  use to calculate how long they have to wait before they can stop pretending to be your friend and start kicking your ass into the ground!

Puny human! You have hoof holes for a face now. Let’s get ice cream! Look at me I’ve got the brain of a 5 years old with the body of a killer! I’m in your kitchen. (Neigh, Neigh) Unpredictable.

Anywho, I hope you enjoy my displeasure.

LINKS

The Electric Horseman (1979)

Directed by Sydney Pollack. With Robert Redford, Jane Fonda, Valerie Perrine, Willie Nelson. A rodeo star past his prime steal his company’s horse and rides off into the desert, with a feisty female reporter accompanying him.

The Electric Horseman – Wikipedia

The Electric Horseman is a 1979 American western adventure- romance film starring Robert Redford and Jane Fonda and directed by Sydney Pollack. The film is about a former rodeo champion who is hired by a cereal company to become its spokesperson, and then runs away on a $12 million electric-lit horse and costume he is given to promote it in Las Vegas.

 

TWITTER

The Electric Horseman (1979) – Like every Willie Nelson cowboy song ever in one movie. Toast, Bacon…eggs…EGGS!

SHOW NOTES

Shhh…tranquil! Damnit Willie. You are gonna scare off the asshole horse.

That golfer looks like he took a shot to the nuts!

1969! Buckle Trophy. What were those made of?

My heroes have always been cowboys? How come?

Uh oh…broke the shoulder.

Now is the part of the song where we play weird instruments…and a harmonica.

Whose magazine rack is that.

Mustache…no mustache…stache…no stache

Ranch Breakfast…it’s full of cow shit.

Chicken Livers 79 cents!

Ahhh…he is like a byline now. Things went from Buckles to Bunk.

Sydney Pollack!

Like pushing boots on a drunk rodeo star…

My silky shirt is pinching my man chest.

Our HalfTime Theme of Champions of the world…or “look what we dug up.”

Ohh…the horse is electric!

Hey kids! Do you like cereal? I have cereal! and booze! Mostly booze.

On the ground again.

Momma don’t let your babies grow up to be drunk cowboys.

Ranch Breakfast makes you explode with energy. Toast, Bacon, Eggs and More Toast and Bacon and Meatloaf and Olives…oh and my nuts.

Kind of creepy…riding Sonny Steele ride on with kids. I can ride my own horse old man.

Ampco does everything.

We need some Michelob

Nothing worse than little Venus.+

Willie Nelson, you can’t sing your song you sing in real life as a character in a movie! Breaking me.

What the hell…how am I down on the field when I am right here…how drunk am i right now?

You just got replaced by a stand in.

Butt Broderick?

Indians make watchbands?

Is this movie all cowboy songs by Willie Nelson? No wonder they hired him. Probably got a hell of a deal on the music.

What’s that horse doing here in the parking lot?

Tequila Factory?

Foggy Taints wife?

Don’t tell no jokes and don’t lift no skirts.

5 Times rodeo champ…now selling cereal.

A little bute.

Your horse is stoned…and I’m drunk. We could party.

“Ain’t that right Rising Star!”

This weird ass Cowboy Con.

“The mean question lady.”

Elevating our anti-hero by introducing an even eviler guy(s)

Come on. I was just kidding. I don’t want a divorce.

Signing divorce papers in a bar in Vegas. Happens every five minute.

uh. Disco Magic! Listen to the funky sound….what…no Willie Nelson?

Stone Cold Sober.

If the horse was hurt. Wouldn’t it have been more humane to just shoot the horse. Instead of riding it through the Casino and then down the streets of Vegas.

People cheer for any weird shit riding through Vegas…”yeah…this is normal!” Cheer!

Hi, I’m Willie Nelson. I sing about horses and cowboys.

Just temporarily sterile. It goes away.

One Drunken Cowboy can take down a corporation.

Ampco primary concern is the health of the horse?

Investigative reporter.  Let’s check the tape.

This Cowboy can’t stop stealing stuff!? Or did he borrow from Gus?

Horse in an RV making meth. Breaking Cowboy

What kind of horse voodoo is he working.

Gus is an odd bird.

“I work for television.” The whole damn thing?

That is a big bag of something she is sitting on.

This movie has some really hard cuts. One minute she is sitting on a giant bag of something talking to Gus during the day. The next minute she is getting punched in the face at night?

When cats sneak up on Robert Redford he punches them in the face. He likes horses.

You want information? It’s 1979. Go to the library.

12 Million dollar horse

Welcome to my cowboy sauna. It’s dark and full of beans.

Captured horse thief ain’t no story.

Watching some Mr. Magoo

This movie should be titled “I’m calling your bluff.” Cutting tires. Walking out.

He’s not a mean drunk! He’s just a drunk. How dare you defame my anti-hero!

Pinball Sheriff

hehe…do people still get off on dirty phone calls?

Since when does a corporation track someone like the FBI?

Damn she brought all the gear. Typical woman trope…high heels in the nature.

They would have the horse wearing short pants and smoking cigars.

Why is Redford so worried about the horse being sterile.

I like how he gave her the best speech ever before the camera was rolling. Then the worst speech ever while rolling.

Damn that woman! That’s why I left her…her and her big…

What is the letter? It’s got a stamp

Television must not pay a lot in 1979

KSOT.

RimRock Canyon in Utah.

A place that horses like; Rim Rock Canyon.

WHAT’S IN THE LETTER!

He’s a cereal cowboy.

Going to St. George…unless they moved the road.

There is a cop convention in town. A COP CONVENTION!

Ahh…the “I’m coming along” trope.

Harmonica musical

Using a cowboy hat to hide to hide when they are looking for a cowboy.

Seems reasonable. Horse can outrun cop cars and motorcycles…cause a horse has at least…1 horsepower.

Late 70s chase music was always funk…it literally sounds like every episode of C.H.I.P.S

Ok genius…you caught up with the guy on the horse on your motorcycle. Now what? Gonna bring him down?

Was it standard for cops to wear helmets in the cars during possible pursuit situations during the late 70s?

Gee I wonder if one of these cop cars will end up on top of the other cop car? bump… Well I’ll be damned.

She captured the part he didn’t know she was shooting.

Cowboys love open cans of beans. Just lay them around like decoration.

We are walking…with our feet.

No way can you eat that many beans and expect to make out city folk.

Gawd I want to be GUS. “I’m in the kitchen!” “My Wild Blue Yonder! I bought it in Elko!”

Wilfred good guy.

Sonny Steele. NORMAN!

Oh please tell me Randy is going to sing the National Anthem!

That poor horse. That poor mean horse.

My name is Alice. Alice and Norman.

Poor Diana Ross. Here name is all over this movie. Never seen her once. She’s the Chick in the bucket.

That kiss tastes like pills and beans.

Morning? Where did you get cheese?

Norman get the “getting up medal.”

Trope. Lady Luggage. Time to lighted the load.

Treating each other like children. It’s how relationships work.

You can name anything…anything…like they did with their names.

Get on this horse lady!

Caller…turn down your radio

“Is this Russian?” I think he may be illiterate. Is that what we are implying.

People love rebel cereal. Even though the profits go to the company.

Mom gone to get Butane Louise.

Ask a kid how much to make a call. “One Dollar!”

If that kid can read her note then my theory that Norman is illiterate may have merit. I guess he could have vision troubles…but he had trouble seeing at all in her prescription glasses. But…wait…he read the script earlier in the movie. Maybe he just has a little vision problem…or maybe he is crazy.

A 3 day trip.

You bastard! You lied to me!

You sent that sterile race horse out to fight the mares! Foool!

ahh…look…they are coming to great him. Nope!

Wait…is he coming or is he going…how many horses am I looking at right now!

Alright! A slow version of a cowboy song.

A donut with a candle in it? That is something for the road?

Haha…she ain’t got no bags bus man.

Ampco needs a new logo? Cause it was a horse. What they got now?

I’m just a cowboy in a modern world.

 

Can’t Buy Me Love (1987) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi! Patrick Dempsey “No Talent” Agency circa late 80s, how may I destroy your childhood memories today?

oh, you say you have a role for a sex crazed high school senior or college freshman who is kind of dorky but the ladies find him dreamy despite his low social status and penchant for low paying jobs like mowing lawns and delivering pizza?

Yeah we got those here. We got a whole shit can of those here. We shave them once a day and anything below the eyebrows gets a waxing. The ladies love it! Young and old.

Well here is as an inappropriate time as any to talk about money. Dempsey is going to need somewhere between .35 cents and 200 dollars for his services. You can pay that in cash or hats.

While, money can’t buy you love, hats can buy you a Dempsey.

Yes we take Neiman Marcus and Sam Goody’s. I mean it is the late 80s after all and Goody Got It.

Severe.

 

LINKS

Can’t Buy Me Love (1987)

Directed by Steve Rash. With Patrick Dempsey, Amanda Peterson, Courtney Gains, Tina Caspary. A nerdy outcast secretly pays the most popular girl in school one thousand dollars to be his girlfriend.

Can’t Buy Me Love (film) – Wikipedia

Can’t Buy Me Love is a 1987 American teen romantic comedy feature film starring Patrick Dempsey and Amanda Peterson in a story about a nerd at a high school in Tucson, Arizona who gives a cheerleader $1,000 to pretend to be his girlfriend for a month.

TWITTER

Can’t Buy Me Love (1987) – Like take a look at my forehead, do you see a sign on my head that says “good 80s movie?” High 5’s & woos follow.

SHOW NOTES

Funky late 80s music. Check. Oh…now it’s that other song.

Arizona! Who has grass in Arizona?

Nice Safari Hat.

Is that a Snapper? Yep.

Who applauds a grass cutting? These guys.

White Rabbit with girls in it. Yuck.

Is it hot or is it cold? We got jackets and cut off shirts.

Cindy…only the Neiman Marcus card.

Mother…get serious. Be more like the Miller boy?

Seriously…how do you make money cutting grass in Arizona?

Who crimped that girls hair…they crimped the hell out of it.

Soo goood. I miss the hydro massage…thanks Stocky Jones.

Outrageous!

Number 10…The kid had on a number 10 shirt as well.

Taking some sweet jumps on my huffy.

What is up with his hat choices. Safari Hat. Now a French beret.

Better accelerate.

The cool Clique. (sp)

Cards is for retards? Can’t say that now.

Want to be popular…get a Ferrari…and a chic

Tic-Tac Tile Dad.

Rock is all class.

I said no. not my suede outfit.

Where are the fat kids in this movie?

Ronald…not at the table please. Jerking off to your science mag

1500 dollars (331 miles of grass 4.54 mile) – 1502.74 (286 Lawns)

Preschool Jam Session at Julies

Cards with the tards. Cards Chips Dips and Dorks.

That is Severe Suede. Fine leather from Des Moines

Who high-fives with wine? This guy.  (it was ripple.)

You can’t return a Ripple stained outfit.

Do not do it. Do not give that girl $1000 dollars…RENT HER!

If you are paying cash for a suede outfit…you can get a better deal than $1000

For a month. Average month is 30 days.

Now come on Donald. Ronald.

No sleeves and a popped collar. (Dick with ears.)

Go Badgers. Go Honey Badgers.

Home Economics. Can you wear no shirt with an apron?

Take a look at my forehead…do you see a sign on my head that says “information?” – That deserved a high five and a woo.

All these kids do is eat. How are there no fat kids!

I’m living in a box…a cardboard box….I’m writing a song…about a box

now let’s switch up to Secret Agent man. They must have gotten a deal on old songs.

Don’t be taking up for Bobby.

What is he drinking.

Look at those classic Doritos and coke! and sprite

Ronnie likes to cut grass and wash cars and look at stars and rent cheerleaders by the month.

Are all teenagers in movies hairless? I feel like we were a lot hairier in my hometown.

She shared her poetry with Ronnie. He is friend-zoned.

If she can charge so much on her mom’s card why did she take Ronald’s money. Couldn’t she just have bought another suede suit on her mom’s card and pretended like it was something else.

The Airplane Graveyard.

ahhh…he was born the day they landed on the moon.

Man. We do not live on the moon.

Well Ronnie ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed.

Chucky get’s all the Ricky gas in the face. No wonder he is so stunted.

Now he is getting all the ladies.

Well that ain’t Dick Clark. African Ant Eater Ritual? Not at the Columbus Day Dance.

I never went to a high school dance that booked the latest hottest band.

Cindy is trying to hook up with more nerds. Once you go nerd you can never go “herd.”

Wait…is he doing the African Ant Eater Ritual or the special Ed.

This is the part where I thrust my boobs at you.

I can’t help but to think Ronnie is splashing everybody with hair gel.

Everything is Severe in this movie

“Only one other titty quite this pretty?”  How long is too long to wait for some tit?

Time to nut up. Time to shitbomb your old friends house with your new chums.

Cindy is trying. Now she is vodka.

Quint is the worst

Time to walk the house of sex rooms.

Uh oh…Bobby is home.

Bobby thinks Ronnie makes .35 cents an hour.

oh man. Cindy really laid down the shame.

The worst waist of 1000 dollars.

Rep score from 10 to 0

It’s Tucson, Arizona. Why is he Wonderful Life Walking like it’s cold.

Even his lunch is in a bag on a tray. Bag tray. Tray bag

Ahh…Video Games. Much less complicated than the social order of high school.

He wore his geek clothes to the arcade then wore his cool kid clothes to see Cindy.

Once month of detention for going into the ladies room. That is severe.

Chucky Miller is wearing a bloom county shirt.

I spy with my 80s eye. A jolt cola!

I get it. Very big in bathrooms.

Ronald McDonald Miller Scam.

“Remember when we were in the 5th grade.” moment.

Slow clap. Nerds. Jocks…living together.

This year it is a cowboy hat.

It’s his Grass cutting shirt “You Are Here”

The Haves and Haves Nots.

Donald!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deep Blue Sea (1999) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

I’m just an average looking white guy named Jim  in a minority majority horror thriller film…what could possibly go ….ahhh my arm.

Oh, speaking of white guys. Have you seen my uncle Bob? He got me this job. He is this fancy looking white fella who keeps Benjamin’s seat warm back in the city. You met Benjamin right? He’s our investor who can’t shut up about avalanches.

Anyway, my uncle Bob just sits there keeping Benjamin’s seat “ass warm” looking around like he is part of whatever conversation is going on. But he’s really just there because Benjamin can’t get his own ass warm anymore. Not since the avalanche. Oh God, don’t get him started.

Well, thanks for listening. Now excuse me, I have to go be a shark propelled projectile strapped to a gurney. Things don’t end well for me. Could be worse I suppose.

 

 

LINKS

Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Directed by Renny Harlin. With Thomas Jane, Saffron Burrows, Samuel L. Jackson, Jacqueline McKenzie. Searching for a cure to Alzheimer’s disease, a group of scientists on an isolated research facility become the prey, as a trio of intelligent sharks fight back.

Deep Blue Sea (1999 film) – Wikipedia

Deep Blue Sea is a 1999 American science fiction horror film directed by Renny Harlin. It stars Saffron Burrows, Thomas Jane, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Rapaport, and rapper LL Cool J. Set in an isolated underwater facility, the film follows a team of scientists and their research on mako sharks to help fight Alzheimer’s disease.

 

 

TWITTER

Deep Blue Sea (1999) – Like watching a movie about sharks while Samuel L Jackson is telling you the plot to Avalanche. Uh oh. better get Mako.

SHOW NOTES

I think there is a water motif

Pasty white teens make out! to what sounds like…Good and Plenty.

Better than average teens on the top of the boat…

Oh no! They are going to get the ocean drunk on wine!

This shark is like the Give a Hoot owl of the ocean! I SAID A HOOT DON’T POLUTE…SNAP SNAP SNAP I got your pasty white girlfriend!

Music..Music…Music…

Bad boy friend is bad. Headbutts his girl off the boat. Then

Hey! It’s Ahab to the rescue!. Yay! The great white savior!

It’s that lady who is in everything. Spice…Debbie Spice.. ….no… SAFFRON BURROWS!

A money man who’s name is Franklin.

haha!!! Why is he standing over a white guy in a chair?

Each time you told him she was dead! Lie lady! Why would you tell your dad EACH TIME!!

Wait…so she can fly a plane…but chooses to be shuttled by Helicopter…I’m not say you can do either or if you can do one…but…

Alcatraz Floats! I got IT on the brain and that makes me giddy

“What do you think Amigos…She’s a 12 footer.”

hehe…Samuel L. Jackson’s Tattoo is good…not great…but passable. I’m getting old.

So far this music is all over the place. But I like it…seems to flow with the emotion of each scene..also a few homages.

Is the license plate ate by a shark joke over yet?

“Beneath it’s glass surface. A world of gliding monsters.” – Perfect Line.

A Skeleton Crew on the weekend.

“You trust me…do you know why? Because I’m trust worthy.”

A con recognizes a con.

Money Money…make the world go round.

A foul mouthed fowl. So are we to assume the parrot has been exposed to many expletive based gangsta songs?

A pastry chef on the floating Alcatraz?

Well them sharks ate them other shawks. Little baby shawk.

Chef and bartender.

Foreshadowing? Leave dying to the white folks?

I wish I had started counting all the ocean puns from the start.

Sharks never go blind, have cancer or stuff.

They are hunting in packs…like wild dogs. They only eat other sharks.

Sharks can’t swim backwards or recognize guns. It’s impossible.

In 1999 did we still have static on screens when cameras were eating by sharks!

Carter has one move. Swim away…psyche! I’m in your sharky face!

This movie is full of puns.

Bad dreams? What does a shark dream about?

“This? oh it’s just some Alzheimer patient’s brain matter that we keep alive in the lab to experiment on. The patient? They are fine. Everytime they ask about the surgical wound on their head we just tell they there loved ones are dead. We really are good people. Wanna touch it? ”

Goodbye arm.

Man, this film is really invested in saving Jim. We followed his story all the way up stairs and to the helicopter…and uh oh…there he goes into the drink.

Was that place made of explosives? How much fuel do you need for floating Alcatraz?

I love that LL is the every man in this movie

“Tell me what that is” …well….it’s Jim the projectile.

This movie was made to be sacked.

Without the slow motions scenes this movie would be about an hour.

This movie was influenced or parallel to Michael Bay films?

I’m glad they got the Mall Kiosk Map of Floating Alcatraz in this movie.

If a bird turns and runs…you do the same.

Think so? Not a chance.

It’s always the shark movie problem. How to get the sharks to the people or the people to the sharks.

I love that LL never names the bird…he just calls him bird.

The confrontations of the brainiacs

Other than the floating playboy and the over sexed teens at the start of this movie…there is no love affair in the movie. Ok…maybe LL and his bird.

Uh oh…better get Mako…

Your plan “is swimming out of here?”

Cooked in his own oven. LL Cool is about to get hot.

Sharks ain’t got no good vision

No matter how bad your situation is. There is always somebody got a story about a situation that is worse. “You think water and sharks are  bad. I once had to walk out of an avalanche.”

Getting chomped giving your “come together” speech is the best.

Kind of sad though. I was really hoping we were going to go with the rich guy saving us and not the not so love-able white guy ex-con.

Grab my hand! This guys love that trope. He loved it in Cliffhanger as well.

Wait…that’s it…! I got it. To the Mall Kiosk Map!

“Who ya gonna trust? The white guy from Cal Tech?”

The only sexual tension going on is between Preach and Cal Tech.

Perfect omelette…2 eggs not 3. No milk.

Flipped a couple of switches…Thumbs up and happy face…yeah…that ain’t gonna last.

Sure…humans can swim…but should we? We aren’t very good at it. We are engineered to do it.

Message in a bottle? Nope. Cassette tape in a Ziplock.

Nope..not a shark…it’s your buddy.

Well about time. I was wondering when the attractive doctor was going to strip down to her clean and matching underwear. Very creative way to get her stripped down.

So your plan is to bring as much attention to your area as possible?

Nooo…not LL!!

Grote…stab to the eye.

This shark is wanting to Free Willy on out of here.

Let’s A-Team this shit. Is there a new A-Team TV show that is a more recent reference?

Bait? What? Masterbate? What? Come to Mama.

Damnit Susan! “Huh…blood? In the water? chomp chomp chomp!!”

Susan’s plan was a poor plan.

What if your plan?  Jump in the water? Punch the shark? Do that Toro Toro Toro thing?

LL is like…let me save this day.

You know. I’m not too broken up about Susan. She used to wait for her dad to forget about his wife’s death then tell him all over again.

Did they use enough explosives? Carter may have over estimated.

So Carter and Preacher hook up?

They just blew up a 45 foot shark…you better start worrying about regular sharks. that is a lot of blood.

LL Cool J has a song for the movie!!