The Village (2004) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi fellow Village Sackers,

What manner of spectacle has attracted your attention so splendidly? I ought to carry it in my pocket to help me sack… and to do other pocket things.

Who came upon this? Randy, did you inappropriately fondle this Shyamalan?

Who has done this heinous act? Scott, Ibbott?

The Movie We Do Not Speak Of, has not breached our borders in many years (for some…never). We do NOT go into IT’S plot holes and  IT does NOT come to our homes and give us face spankings.. like that one scene with Adrian Brody…that is a face thirsty for a slaps.

It is a truce.  Yet, here we are…sacks in hand.

We are grateful for the time we have been given.

 

LINKS

The Village (2004)

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan. With Sigourney Weaver, William Hurt, Joaquin Phoenix, Bryce Dallas Howard. A series of events tests the beliefs of a small isolated countryside village.

The Village (2004 film) – Wikipedia

The Village is a 2004 American psychological horror film, written, produced, and directed by M. Night Shyamalan, and starring Joaquin Phoenix, Adrien Brody, Bryce Dallas Howard, William Hurt, Sigourney Weaver, and Brendan Gleeson. The film is about a village whose inhabitants live in fear of creatures inhabiting the woods beyond it referred to as “Those We Don’t Speak Of.”

 

 

TWITTER

The Village (2004) -Like Sigourney Weaver knitting a sweater for a Xenomorph. Now that is a twist… & a hook & a twist. OH, LOOK I MADE A SWEATER.

SHOW NOTES

Someone playing the Lute! Lute! Lute!

Big drum…big drum scare me.

Perhaps by the music we are implying an Indian contingent? Gonna eat them villagers! Nom nom…chop ’em up

So many great actors.

Push all credits. Pull Director credit

That sky is so fake!

Derbys! Dirty Derbys! oh…sorry…dead dead dead.

Nah…we just gonna sit back here on the other side of this fence while you “pine” away for your loved one.

1890-1897 … 7 ish

Outdoor long table. Man the flys…where are the flys!?

He likes the howling. It makes him clap happy.

We were eating veggies…but all of our bowls are full of oats when we wash them.

I will give M. Night this…he knows how to capture believable life in a camera.

Bury the red flowers…get serious with the sweeping now!

Trees are so noisy at night…creek creek..chirp chirp

“What manner of spectacle has attracted your attention so splendidly? I ought to carry it in my pocket to help me teach.” That was a lot just to say “what you kids looking at?”

Found the flies!

mmm…skinned bunny.

“Those We Don’t Speak Of killed it.” SHHHH…we don’t speak of them!

Meat Eaters…Large Claws.

We got a truce.

Ripley is knitting!

Why am I always knitting? Cause I have been working on this one bootie for 2 weeks.

Hello…I’m here to read a letter. I wrote it. Also, it has an end. Here is it…The End

Finton Coin! I am Finton!

My name is Lucius I sleep on a dirt floor.

Who killed the puppy!

I always forget what a fortnight is. Forkknife.

Our boundary has not been breached. We would know…I’m talking about sex.

hey…papa! can I marry a boy? it’s Lucius.

haha! I love you Lucius. I love you more than the sun and moon together!

HAHA! crushed!

Life is long and love is deep…damn…now I want to cry.

Where do they get their top 40 Village songs?

Hey Lucius…I’m a lush and you don’t talk…just like my dead son.

oh..she blind!

Let’s play a game of “grab the stick and get whacked!.”

A blind girl and a boy who likes to hit with sticks run to the hills to meet the quite one.

Red is bad. Yellow is good.

Some people have a haze…purple haze?

“You run like a boy…in case you can’t see it….oh wait.”

Ivy got a crush on Lucius!

Look…Lucius don’t think stuff is funny.

Berry…the bad color!

Meanwhile, Down at the Resting Rock.

Mom just laid down the nasty truth about Daddy and Town.

This place is full of secrets ma!

Somebody likes Mom…he never touches you…would that make Ivy my sister? can we still make babies? This is a small village with not many options. That is why I really want to go to town.

I got on my village poncho! Time to face those who we do not speak of.

Oh hi…I’m just blind and playing a night game outside…cause it is always night for me.

Noah needs medicine that will help him hold still.

Kitty is giddy for love!

She wants to marry the shirt guy…maybe you could pick him up some more shirts while you are in town…if you don’t die.

Oh snap! That ain’t Lucius…Thanks for the Jump Scare Mr. Night.

Noah has one of them “slap me faces”

Uh…that is scary. Night is always great at showing you just enough to scare the pants out of you visually.

She is serious about waiting for Lucius.

Damn I just got chills when he grabbed her hand to save her….and the music swells.

Gee…a note…I wonder who wrote a note…could it be Lucius the village note writer? yep.

So much shame!! shame…shame… I knew that kid was no good.

Could someone please come get Noah…thank you!

Well that was fun…now let’s go outside and eat at the big tables….”we are grateful…for the time we have been given.”

Sounds like Town is a real shit show.

This place wants to burn.

That is a lot of dead animals…on your wedding night!!

WHO TOOK MY HIDES AND FEATHERS!

The marks are high….Coyotes can not reach that high…duh.

Why you on this porch?!

The boys played The Stump….this village needs some new games!

Tell me my color blind witch!!

One of the most beautiful romantic scenes in any movie. Man M. Night is the man.

Aww…that went well…Sisters are cool with each other…doubtful.

Let’s see how the boys fair. Nope…not so good.

That was super effective…totally freaky…so quiet…no screaming. Is that more realistic?

Noah has been bad.

Oh wow…did you know we are full of the bad color?

An accident? Yeah…Lucius fell on a knife…like 20 times.

Mr. Walker!!! Mr. Walker!!

Thoughts and prayers.

Uh oh…Noah gets a face spanking.

What are we talking about here…going to the towns?

a dollar into 5 in a fortnight…

What is in the shed! Why would she scream?!

Ivy and her merry band of two. All in Yellow. Kiss a fellow.

I got a bag of rocks pa!

Christop is like…nah! Why ain’t I never heard of no safe rocks! and why am I wearing this yellow…I don’t even like yellow!

an hour in…and the truth will set you free!!

Have fun Ivy. I’m gone.

The ceremony of meat! Not the ceremony of meet!

Damn you elders!

They are making some good points…but I’m mad as hell at them for lying to me.

and now I’m in a hole. Thanks a lot ya pansy boys.

Love will find a way! or die trying! sometimes that way is throwing rocks.

Man. these are the shittiest elders ever. Lie to their kids their entire lives…then send a blind girl out to head to the village.

So we are still going on the idea that there could be evil in the woods…because…once there was evil.

If that thing suddenly runs at us…EEEEK

Why doesn’t anyone ever dress up as the bad creature in this movie?

These elders are the worst elders ever.

Oh I know…let’s hide the extra monster costumes under the floorboards. by the way…that is some high quality monster garb for the 1800s

Noah got what Noah got

Lucius is thinking “I feel very stabbed right now.”

Screw this safe color crap!

We have a lot of secrets here in The Village.

Time to recap…in case you missed it. Here is all the shit we said that you missed.

Please return to your vehicle? Do you see a vehicle?

I am from “The Woods.”

Oh hey…listen to tall this depressing news…cause now you want to live in The Village

Hey…it’s the director.

mmm…my fridge is full of medial use and rotten bananas!

Hey Jay…where is the maintenance ladder?

She’s crying cause she knows her son is a wussy and got beat by a blind girl.

Hey I know! We have told a bunch of lies that ended poorly…let’s tell some more lies! This is working out great!

Lucius probably died.

 

 

Dreamcatcher (2003) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Greetings human, I am Dudley Duddits of the  Space Mounties and I am in pursuit of Donnie Duddits. He’s….uh…how do you humans say…special?

Apparently, he has emotionally attached himself to a cartoon dog with a speech impediment and hopes to endear himself to you humans by taking on these properties. Wow, this is more complicated than necessary.

Anywho, have you encountered such a being?

Also, did you know, it’s butt weasel season? Be sure to cover your orifices human.

Coincidently, we have been monitoring your people…and I have a friendly bet going with the crew.

if it is bestiality when a human attempts to mate with an animal…gross by the way…is it then called me-stiality when one attempts to please oneself? The Galaxy wants to know.

Geez, how much Oxy and Day time TV was King watching when he wrote this. Kiss my bender.

LINKS

Dreamcatcher (2003)

Directed by Lawrence Kasdan. With Morgan Freeman, Thomas Jane, Jason Lee, Damian Lewis. Friends on a camping trip discover that the town they’re vacationing in is being plagued in an unusual fashion by parasitic aliens from outer space.

Dreamcatcher (2003 film) – Wikipedia

Dreamcatcher is a 2003 American science fiction horror film based on Stephen King’s novel of the same name. Directed by Lawrence Kasdan and co-written by Kasdan and screenwriter William Goldman, the film stars Damian Lewis, Thomas Jane, Jason Lee and Timothy Olyphant as four friends who encounter an invasion of parasitic aliens.

 

TWITTER

Dreamcatcher (2003) – Like expressing something in 280 characters when 140 is sufficient. Still room for a Butt Weasels.

SHOW NOTES

This sure is a lot of opening credits

This was 5 minutes after X-Files movie?

It’s a dream-catcher and SSDD

EARLY GRAVE! I prefer being late.

King never shy’s away from Fat as Fear…

Memory Warehouse

Time to off yourself. Psycho Psychiatrist. Jonesy?

Great you just shot the guy next door.

So far…office jobs.

Is everybody Psychic?

another desk job.

Best fried clams in the state…that is a weird first date.

The key trick does not get you dates.

Half past 6…she ain’t gonna be there.

Jason Lee is the only one without a job. Unless you count drunk with a toothpick.

SSDD

Beaver has nothing. Jonesy has wife and kids.

Save ON MEATS!

As soon as we figured out a way to show people getting hit by cars on film. We used the hell out of it.

Otch Out Fo Miestr Gay

Bite My Bag.

Wait…Beaver got a blow job from a lady after Bingo?

Derry? Like in IT and other Stephen King small town stories?

In the movies. Kiss when you wake up?

Promiseland….reference.

 

Mental Warehouse.

Keep Duddits on the 3rd level

20 years out to Hole in the wall.

Duddits is our dreamcatcher.

Remember when….

Scooby Doo lunch box!

You want to eat half of this dog turd? I mean that is like 5 way turd

Pete can fly.

What kind of bully standoff is this. Happens all the time in Stephen King world.

Blue Buyousuusi

Oooby oooby dooo…

I duddits!

No Bounce, No Play…sometimes I think Stephen King writes down everything he thinks.

Jonesy’s brain warehouse is the warehouse where they meet duddits

Snow in the eye!! glasses..phew.

That’s no deer! That’s a maaan! A stumble man.

Jonesy got ran over by a car and 6 months later only has a limp.

Indian Charm…catches nightmares.

They keep the Dreamcatcher in the hole int he wall.

Is it on the wagon or off the wagon.

Henry forced the guy to eat himself to death. Is that ever listed as cause of death?

Toothpicks are gross.

Mother used to feed me pea soup…

Have you been eating wood chuck turds?

There are fart jokes….there are lots of gross fart jokes.

If you need to urk. also, don’t take a shit in the linen closet.

The kids do not look much like the adults.

Know what is a bad idea…getting a run at a hill in the snow.

I’ve never flipped a car. Unsure if I would be laughing about it.

Peanut Butter calms me down. How do you eat peanut butter…spoon? butter knife? finger?

Great jump scare…saw it from a mile away…but still. Miss Roadkill got me.

Trying to keep a toothpick in your mouth while yelling at a helicopter.

Why is God (Morgan Freeman.) watching me with his huge prosthetic eye worms?

Is this SSDD? In other words is this just weird shit or has the day finally come?

haha…Scooby Dooby Doo we got some work to do now.

What the hell does No Bounce, No Play mean.

Turd is a clinker.

Did you guys used to soak toothpicks in cinnamon?

Humor and Horror go hand in hand.

Blue Bayou comfort song.

Blue vs Gray?

That is one strong worm creature.

Oh man…that door handle coming off in your hand…that is the worst!

Beaver made a sacrifice. Was his power premonitions? bad feelings? I got a bad feeling about this Jonesy

That is one big alien. He’s translucent…and slimy.

Oh…his head popped into a red mist…gross.

Time to mobilize the military.

Is it my imagination or are Morgan Freeman’s eyebrows even bigger in this movie.

Named after that broad in Aliens.

Grey Boy look…

The Shit Weasels!

Blue Boy…Bucko

The alien only infects some.

We are not regular army…thank goodness Maple came in to explain it back to us.

Oh…do not Scout’s honor when the general has a loaded gun.

So much blood in this movie.

25 years he has been fighting aliens.

In Fast and hard , out clean and smiling.

She ain’t napping for farts!

The scene everybody loves…the Jonesy snap to smile.

The truck that handles like a luxury car.

Know things. Talk to one another. Duddits gave them the gift.

Writing your name in the snow….dick chomp!

Fire to the crotch is the only way to stop those things.

Mighty Mouse is on the way!

Beaver had nothing in his head.

 

Pete knows Mr. Gray is a bond Villian.

whisper messages while talking. Repeat emphasis?

The red stuff looks like rust for organics.

He used Beaves catchphrase.

Did he not notice the dead man in the tub?

Oh. They lay eggs…really gross eggs.

Liquid Fire!!

oh no…they already hatched!

King uses leaches and wormy things a lot.

What is up with these guys and dropping sticks.

Can you light a match with your finger? Strike anywhere matches.

ohh…they use a maneuver called dreamcatcher with duddits in the middle.

Love this music they use when trying to locate the missing girl. It reminds me of 90s Goosebumps music.

Kids love hanging around trains! In King stories anyways.

Alien space crash.

I’m that dog. I’m that monster.

Aww…the greys are so swee….oh fuck! What are those things! Wormy shits…kill ’em all.

That ship has a self destruct and boy..

Bite my bag.

Wait…has he infested Jonesys body or is he mimicking it? Cause he just morphed into an alien.

Where is Jonesy? Is he in the head?

Grote…don’t eat the meat!

He’s got 4 boxes of Duddits…I could eat 4 boxes of Duddits at the movies. mmm…Milk Duddits.

That is a lot of hazmat suits.

Do we still say “Getting too old for this shit?”

The study shows squats.

A hitchhiker is our greatest fear.

Blue Boys, Blue Zone, Blue Camp. Blue Blue.

Shop at Walmart and never misses an episode of Friends

hehe…in true military fashion. He calls Eddie Dr. Boston…cause that is where he is from.

Over the Curtis line!

Time for some Star Wars wipes….lots of them.

call 1-800-Henry…that ain’t even numbers.

How much crack am I smoking right now? The gun is a phone. MY GUN IS A PHONE..EVERYTHING IS A PHONE.

Nice sweater jacket. Lukemia! No…not Duddits! Not the duds! Also, those Scooby Doo lunchboxes are indestructible.

Victory pose mom!

Uh oh…that gun has a tracker in it.

Keeping an Asian in your Truck closet.

What happened in Montana? Several mentions. Shit must have went bad. Tell us that story!

Wipe!

He ate the trooper!

Poor old Donnie. He looks sick!

Mr Gay is Mr. Gray. Mr. Gray wants war…or water. Duds

One worm…One worm to kill the world.

Would the military let a helicopter just fly away without pursuit?

WIPE

Go faster! Oops…car and snow no go. No Snow. No Go.

That may be overkill to kill somebody with a helicopter.

Mutual Kill.

Morgan Freeman wore fake eyebrows! What!

Shoot him! Shoot him!

How heavy are manhole covers?

I can understand that big eel weasel getting int he water and causing problems. But that little jiggly worm would prolly get eet.

So the alien was inside…but is a mist? that can become solid? or did it come out of his butthole? or did the mist come from his butthole?

I want to dress as Duds for Halloween.

Duds needs to blow his nose.

Duds is heavy man. Heavier than he looks.

You thought you got me…I got you!! I Duddits!

Do all aliens have scorpion tails?

ew ew ew…red stuff! red stuff!

squish.

But to black!

Meanwhile back at the hole in the wall.

Fuck Me Freddy

Kiss My Bender

Bite My Bag

Fuckaree/row/roo

Jesus Christ-Bananas

Doodlyfuck

The Electric Horseman (1979) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi, this week’s movie is about a horse (a fricken’ horse) and his man. A horseman.

Why a horse movie you may ask? I’ll tell you why we watched this dumbass horse movie, because I made the mistake of revealing to my friends (and the Internet), my distrust for these muscle bound beasts of burden with brains the size of a human child’s brain. Brains by the way which horses  use to calculate how long they have to wait before they can stop pretending to be your friend and start kicking your ass into the ground!

Puny human! You have hoof holes for a face now. Let’s get ice cream! Look at me I’ve got the brain of a 5 years old with the body of a killer! I’m in your kitchen. (Neigh, Neigh) Unpredictable.

Anywho, I hope you enjoy my displeasure.

LINKS

The Electric Horseman (1979)

Directed by Sydney Pollack. With Robert Redford, Jane Fonda, Valerie Perrine, Willie Nelson. A rodeo star past his prime steal his company’s horse and rides off into the desert, with a feisty female reporter accompanying him.

The Electric Horseman – Wikipedia

The Electric Horseman is a 1979 American western adventure- romance film starring Robert Redford and Jane Fonda and directed by Sydney Pollack. The film is about a former rodeo champion who is hired by a cereal company to become its spokesperson, and then runs away on a $12 million electric-lit horse and costume he is given to promote it in Las Vegas.

 

TWITTER

The Electric Horseman (1979) – Like every Willie Nelson cowboy song ever in one movie. Toast, Bacon…eggs…EGGS!

SHOW NOTES

Shhh…tranquil! Damnit Willie. You are gonna scare off the asshole horse.

That golfer looks like he took a shot to the nuts!

1969! Buckle Trophy. What were those made of?

My heroes have always been cowboys? How come?

Uh oh…broke the shoulder.

Now is the part of the song where we play weird instruments…and a harmonica.

Whose magazine rack is that.

Mustache…no mustache…stache…no stache

Ranch Breakfast…it’s full of cow shit.

Chicken Livers 79 cents!

Ahhh…he is like a byline now. Things went from Buckles to Bunk.

Sydney Pollack!

Like pushing boots on a drunk rodeo star…

My silky shirt is pinching my man chest.

Our HalfTime Theme of Champions of the world…or “look what we dug up.”

Ohh…the horse is electric!

Hey kids! Do you like cereal? I have cereal! and booze! Mostly booze.

On the ground again.

Momma don’t let your babies grow up to be drunk cowboys.

Ranch Breakfast makes you explode with energy. Toast, Bacon, Eggs and More Toast and Bacon and Meatloaf and Olives…oh and my nuts.

Kind of creepy…riding Sonny Steele ride on with kids. I can ride my own horse old man.

Ampco does everything.

We need some Michelob

Nothing worse than little Venus.+

Willie Nelson, you can’t sing your song you sing in real life as a character in a movie! Breaking me.

What the hell…how am I down on the field when I am right here…how drunk am i right now?

You just got replaced by a stand in.

Butt Broderick?

Indians make watchbands?

Is this movie all cowboy songs by Willie Nelson? No wonder they hired him. Probably got a hell of a deal on the music.

What’s that horse doing here in the parking lot?

Tequila Factory?

Foggy Taints wife?

Don’t tell no jokes and don’t lift no skirts.

5 Times rodeo champ…now selling cereal.

A little bute.

Your horse is stoned…and I’m drunk. We could party.

“Ain’t that right Rising Star!”

This weird ass Cowboy Con.

“The mean question lady.”

Elevating our anti-hero by introducing an even eviler guy(s)

Come on. I was just kidding. I don’t want a divorce.

Signing divorce papers in a bar in Vegas. Happens every five minute.

uh. Disco Magic! Listen to the funky sound….what…no Willie Nelson?

Stone Cold Sober.

If the horse was hurt. Wouldn’t it have been more humane to just shoot the horse. Instead of riding it through the Casino and then down the streets of Vegas.

People cheer for any weird shit riding through Vegas…”yeah…this is normal!” Cheer!

Hi, I’m Willie Nelson. I sing about horses and cowboys.

Just temporarily sterile. It goes away.

One Drunken Cowboy can take down a corporation.

Ampco primary concern is the health of the horse?

Investigative reporter.  Let’s check the tape.

This Cowboy can’t stop stealing stuff!? Or did he borrow from Gus?

Horse in an RV making meth. Breaking Cowboy

What kind of horse voodoo is he working.

Gus is an odd bird.

“I work for television.” The whole damn thing?

That is a big bag of something she is sitting on.

This movie has some really hard cuts. One minute she is sitting on a giant bag of something talking to Gus during the day. The next minute she is getting punched in the face at night?

When cats sneak up on Robert Redford he punches them in the face. He likes horses.

You want information? It’s 1979. Go to the library.

12 Million dollar horse

Welcome to my cowboy sauna. It’s dark and full of beans.

Captured horse thief ain’t no story.

Watching some Mr. Magoo

This movie should be titled “I’m calling your bluff.” Cutting tires. Walking out.

He’s not a mean drunk! He’s just a drunk. How dare you defame my anti-hero!

Pinball Sheriff

hehe…do people still get off on dirty phone calls?

Since when does a corporation track someone like the FBI?

Damn she brought all the gear. Typical woman trope…high heels in the nature.

They would have the horse wearing short pants and smoking cigars.

Why is Redford so worried about the horse being sterile.

I like how he gave her the best speech ever before the camera was rolling. Then the worst speech ever while rolling.

Damn that woman! That’s why I left her…her and her big…

What is the letter? It’s got a stamp

Television must not pay a lot in 1979

KSOT.

RimRock Canyon in Utah.

A place that horses like; Rim Rock Canyon.

WHAT’S IN THE LETTER!

He’s a cereal cowboy.

Going to St. George…unless they moved the road.

There is a cop convention in town. A COP CONVENTION!

Ahh…the “I’m coming along” trope.

Harmonica musical

Using a cowboy hat to hide to hide when they are looking for a cowboy.

Seems reasonable. Horse can outrun cop cars and motorcycles…cause a horse has at least…1 horsepower.

Late 70s chase music was always funk…it literally sounds like every episode of C.H.I.P.S

Ok genius…you caught up with the guy on the horse on your motorcycle. Now what? Gonna bring him down?

Was it standard for cops to wear helmets in the cars during possible pursuit situations during the late 70s?

Gee I wonder if one of these cop cars will end up on top of the other cop car? bump… Well I’ll be damned.

She captured the part he didn’t know she was shooting.

Cowboys love open cans of beans. Just lay them around like decoration.

We are walking…with our feet.

No way can you eat that many beans and expect to make out city folk.

Gawd I want to be GUS. “I’m in the kitchen!” “My Wild Blue Yonder! I bought it in Elko!”

Wilfred good guy.

Sonny Steele. NORMAN!

Oh please tell me Randy is going to sing the National Anthem!

That poor horse. That poor mean horse.

My name is Alice. Alice and Norman.

Poor Diana Ross. Here name is all over this movie. Never seen her once. She’s the Chick in the bucket.

That kiss tastes like pills and beans.

Morning? Where did you get cheese?

Norman get the “getting up medal.”

Trope. Lady Luggage. Time to lighted the load.

Treating each other like children. It’s how relationships work.

You can name anything…anything…like they did with their names.

Get on this horse lady!

Caller…turn down your radio

“Is this Russian?” I think he may be illiterate. Is that what we are implying.

People love rebel cereal. Even though the profits go to the company.

Mom gone to get Butane Louise.

Ask a kid how much to make a call. “One Dollar!”

If that kid can read her note then my theory that Norman is illiterate may have merit. I guess he could have vision troubles…but he had trouble seeing at all in her prescription glasses. But…wait…he read the script earlier in the movie. Maybe he just has a little vision problem…or maybe he is crazy.

A 3 day trip.

You bastard! You lied to me!

You sent that sterile race horse out to fight the mares! Foool!

ahh…look…they are coming to great him. Nope!

Wait…is he coming or is he going…how many horses am I looking at right now!

Alright! A slow version of a cowboy song.

A donut with a candle in it? That is something for the road?

Haha…she ain’t got no bags bus man.

Ampco needs a new logo? Cause it was a horse. What they got now?

I’m just a cowboy in a modern world.

 

Can’t Buy Me Love (1987) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi! Patrick Dempsey “No Talent” Agency circa late 80s, how may I destroy your childhood memories today?

oh, you say you have a role for a sex crazed high school senior or college freshman who is kind of dorky but the ladies find him dreamy despite his low social status and penchant for low paying jobs like mowing lawns and delivering pizza?

Yeah we got those here. We got a whole shit can of those here. We shave them once a day and anything below the eyebrows gets a waxing. The ladies love it! Young and old.

Well here is as an inappropriate time as any to talk about money. Dempsey is going to need somewhere between .35 cents and 200 dollars for his services. You can pay that in cash or hats.

While, money can’t buy you love, hats can buy you a Dempsey.

Yes we take Neiman Marcus and Sam Goody’s. I mean it is the late 80s after all and Goody Got It.

Severe.

 

LINKS

Can’t Buy Me Love (1987)

Directed by Steve Rash. With Patrick Dempsey, Amanda Peterson, Courtney Gains, Tina Caspary. A nerdy outcast secretly pays the most popular girl in school one thousand dollars to be his girlfriend.

Can’t Buy Me Love (film) – Wikipedia

Can’t Buy Me Love is a 1987 American teen romantic comedy feature film starring Patrick Dempsey and Amanda Peterson in a story about a nerd at a high school in Tucson, Arizona who gives a cheerleader $1,000 to pretend to be his girlfriend for a month.

TWITTER

Can’t Buy Me Love (1987) – Like take a look at my forehead, do you see a sign on my head that says “good 80s movie?” High 5’s & woos follow.

SHOW NOTES

Funky late 80s music. Check. Oh…now it’s that other song.

Arizona! Who has grass in Arizona?

Nice Safari Hat.

Is that a Snapper? Yep.

Who applauds a grass cutting? These guys.

White Rabbit with girls in it. Yuck.

Is it hot or is it cold? We got jackets and cut off shirts.

Cindy…only the Neiman Marcus card.

Mother…get serious. Be more like the Miller boy?

Seriously…how do you make money cutting grass in Arizona?

Who crimped that girls hair…they crimped the hell out of it.

Soo goood. I miss the hydro massage…thanks Stocky Jones.

Outrageous!

Number 10…The kid had on a number 10 shirt as well.

Taking some sweet jumps on my huffy.

What is up with his hat choices. Safari Hat. Now a French beret.

Better accelerate.

The cool Clique. (sp)

Cards is for retards? Can’t say that now.

Want to be popular…get a Ferrari…and a chic

Tic-Tac Tile Dad.

Rock is all class.

I said no. not my suede outfit.

Where are the fat kids in this movie?

Ronald…not at the table please. Jerking off to your science mag

1500 dollars (331 miles of grass 4.54 mile) – 1502.74 (286 Lawns)

Preschool Jam Session at Julies

Cards with the tards. Cards Chips Dips and Dorks.

That is Severe Suede. Fine leather from Des Moines

Who high-fives with wine? This guy.  (it was ripple.)

You can’t return a Ripple stained outfit.

Do not do it. Do not give that girl $1000 dollars…RENT HER!

If you are paying cash for a suede outfit…you can get a better deal than $1000

For a month. Average month is 30 days.

Now come on Donald. Ronald.

No sleeves and a popped collar. (Dick with ears.)

Go Badgers. Go Honey Badgers.

Home Economics. Can you wear no shirt with an apron?

Take a look at my forehead…do you see a sign on my head that says “information?” – That deserved a high five and a woo.

All these kids do is eat. How are there no fat kids!

I’m living in a box…a cardboard box….I’m writing a song…about a box

now let’s switch up to Secret Agent man. They must have gotten a deal on old songs.

Don’t be taking up for Bobby.

What is he drinking.

Look at those classic Doritos and coke! and sprite

Ronnie likes to cut grass and wash cars and look at stars and rent cheerleaders by the month.

Are all teenagers in movies hairless? I feel like we were a lot hairier in my hometown.

She shared her poetry with Ronnie. He is friend-zoned.

If she can charge so much on her mom’s card why did she take Ronald’s money. Couldn’t she just have bought another suede suit on her mom’s card and pretended like it was something else.

The Airplane Graveyard.

ahhh…he was born the day they landed on the moon.

Man. We do not live on the moon.

Well Ronnie ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed.

Chucky get’s all the Ricky gas in the face. No wonder he is so stunted.

Now he is getting all the ladies.

Well that ain’t Dick Clark. African Ant Eater Ritual? Not at the Columbus Day Dance.

I never went to a high school dance that booked the latest hottest band.

Cindy is trying to hook up with more nerds. Once you go nerd you can never go “herd.”

Wait…is he doing the African Ant Eater Ritual or the special Ed.

This is the part where I thrust my boobs at you.

I can’t help but to think Ronnie is splashing everybody with hair gel.

Everything is Severe in this movie

“Only one other titty quite this pretty?”  How long is too long to wait for some tit?

Time to nut up. Time to shitbomb your old friends house with your new chums.

Cindy is trying. Now she is vodka.

Quint is the worst

Time to walk the house of sex rooms.

Uh oh…Bobby is home.

Bobby thinks Ronnie makes .35 cents an hour.

oh man. Cindy really laid down the shame.

The worst waist of 1000 dollars.

Rep score from 10 to 0

It’s Tucson, Arizona. Why is he Wonderful Life Walking like it’s cold.

Even his lunch is in a bag on a tray. Bag tray. Tray bag

Ahh…Video Games. Much less complicated than the social order of high school.

He wore his geek clothes to the arcade then wore his cool kid clothes to see Cindy.

Once month of detention for going into the ladies room. That is severe.

Chucky Miller is wearing a bloom county shirt.

I spy with my 80s eye. A jolt cola!

I get it. Very big in bathrooms.

Ronald McDonald Miller Scam.

“Remember when we were in the 5th grade.” moment.

Slow clap. Nerds. Jocks…living together.

This year it is a cowboy hat.

It’s his Grass cutting shirt “You Are Here”

The Haves and Haves Nots.

Donald!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deep Blue Sea (1999) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

I’m just an average looking white guy named Jim  in a minority majority horror thriller film…what could possibly go ….ahhh my arm.

Oh, speaking of white guys. Have you seen my uncle Bob? He got me this job. He is this fancy looking white fella who keeps Benjamin’s seat warm back in the city. You met Benjamin right? He’s our investor who can’t shut up about avalanches.

Anyway, my uncle Bob just sits there keeping Benjamin’s seat “ass warm” looking around like he is part of whatever conversation is going on. But he’s really just there because Benjamin can’t get his own ass warm anymore. Not since the avalanche. Oh God, don’t get him started.

Well, thanks for listening. Now excuse me, I have to go be a shark propelled projectile strapped to a gurney. Things don’t end well for me. Could be worse I suppose.

 

 

LINKS

Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Directed by Renny Harlin. With Thomas Jane, Saffron Burrows, Samuel L. Jackson, Jacqueline McKenzie. Searching for a cure to Alzheimer’s disease, a group of scientists on an isolated research facility become the prey, as a trio of intelligent sharks fight back.

Deep Blue Sea (1999 film) – Wikipedia

Deep Blue Sea is a 1999 American science fiction horror film directed by Renny Harlin. It stars Saffron Burrows, Thomas Jane, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Rapaport, and rapper LL Cool J. Set in an isolated underwater facility, the film follows a team of scientists and their research on mako sharks to help fight Alzheimer’s disease.

 

 

TWITTER

Deep Blue Sea (1999) – Like watching a movie about sharks while Samuel L Jackson is telling you the plot to Avalanche. Uh oh. better get Mako.

SHOW NOTES

I think there is a water motif

Pasty white teens make out! to what sounds like…Good and Plenty.

Better than average teens on the top of the boat…

Oh no! They are going to get the ocean drunk on wine!

This shark is like the Give a Hoot owl of the ocean! I SAID A HOOT DON’T POLUTE…SNAP SNAP SNAP I got your pasty white girlfriend!

Music..Music…Music…

Bad boy friend is bad. Headbutts his girl off the boat. Then

Hey! It’s Ahab to the rescue!. Yay! The great white savior!

It’s that lady who is in everything. Spice…Debbie Spice.. ….no… SAFFRON BURROWS!

A money man who’s name is Franklin.

haha!!! Why is he standing over a white guy in a chair?

Each time you told him she was dead! Lie lady! Why would you tell your dad EACH TIME!!

Wait…so she can fly a plane…but chooses to be shuttled by Helicopter…I’m not say you can do either or if you can do one…but…

Alcatraz Floats! I got IT on the brain and that makes me giddy

“What do you think Amigos…She’s a 12 footer.”

hehe…Samuel L. Jackson’s Tattoo is good…not great…but passable. I’m getting old.

So far this music is all over the place. But I like it…seems to flow with the emotion of each scene..also a few homages.

Is the license plate ate by a shark joke over yet?

“Beneath it’s glass surface. A world of gliding monsters.” – Perfect Line.

A Skeleton Crew on the weekend.

“You trust me…do you know why? Because I’m trust worthy.”

A con recognizes a con.

Money Money…make the world go round.

A foul mouthed fowl. So are we to assume the parrot has been exposed to many expletive based gangsta songs?

A pastry chef on the floating Alcatraz?

Well them sharks ate them other shawks. Little baby shawk.

Chef and bartender.

Foreshadowing? Leave dying to the white folks?

I wish I had started counting all the ocean puns from the start.

Sharks never go blind, have cancer or stuff.

They are hunting in packs…like wild dogs. They only eat other sharks.

Sharks can’t swim backwards or recognize guns. It’s impossible.

In 1999 did we still have static on screens when cameras were eating by sharks!

Carter has one move. Swim away…psyche! I’m in your sharky face!

This movie is full of puns.

Bad dreams? What does a shark dream about?

“This? oh it’s just some Alzheimer patient’s brain matter that we keep alive in the lab to experiment on. The patient? They are fine. Everytime they ask about the surgical wound on their head we just tell they there loved ones are dead. We really are good people. Wanna touch it? ”

Goodbye arm.

Man, this film is really invested in saving Jim. We followed his story all the way up stairs and to the helicopter…and uh oh…there he goes into the drink.

Was that place made of explosives? How much fuel do you need for floating Alcatraz?

I love that LL is the every man in this movie

“Tell me what that is” …well….it’s Jim the projectile.

This movie was made to be sacked.

Without the slow motions scenes this movie would be about an hour.

This movie was influenced or parallel to Michael Bay films?

I’m glad they got the Mall Kiosk Map of Floating Alcatraz in this movie.

If a bird turns and runs…you do the same.

Think so? Not a chance.

It’s always the shark movie problem. How to get the sharks to the people or the people to the sharks.

I love that LL never names the bird…he just calls him bird.

The confrontations of the brainiacs

Other than the floating playboy and the over sexed teens at the start of this movie…there is no love affair in the movie. Ok…maybe LL and his bird.

Uh oh…better get Mako…

Your plan “is swimming out of here?”

Cooked in his own oven. LL Cool is about to get hot.

Sharks ain’t got no good vision

No matter how bad your situation is. There is always somebody got a story about a situation that is worse. “You think water and sharks are  bad. I once had to walk out of an avalanche.”

Getting chomped giving your “come together” speech is the best.

Kind of sad though. I was really hoping we were going to go with the rich guy saving us and not the not so love-able white guy ex-con.

Grab my hand! This guys love that trope. He loved it in Cliffhanger as well.

Wait…that’s it…! I got it. To the Mall Kiosk Map!

“Who ya gonna trust? The white guy from Cal Tech?”

The only sexual tension going on is between Preach and Cal Tech.

Perfect omelette…2 eggs not 3. No milk.

Flipped a couple of switches…Thumbs up and happy face…yeah…that ain’t gonna last.

Sure…humans can swim…but should we? We aren’t very good at it. We are engineered to do it.

Message in a bottle? Nope. Cassette tape in a Ziplock.

Nope..not a shark…it’s your buddy.

Well about time. I was wondering when the attractive doctor was going to strip down to her clean and matching underwear. Very creative way to get her stripped down.

So your plan is to bring as much attention to your area as possible?

Nooo…not LL!!

Grote…stab to the eye.

This shark is wanting to Free Willy on out of here.

Let’s A-Team this shit. Is there a new A-Team TV show that is a more recent reference?

Bait? What? Masterbate? What? Come to Mama.

Damnit Susan! “Huh…blood? In the water? chomp chomp chomp!!”

Susan’s plan was a poor plan.

What if your plan?  Jump in the water? Punch the shark? Do that Toro Toro Toro thing?

LL is like…let me save this day.

You know. I’m not too broken up about Susan. She used to wait for her dad to forget about his wife’s death then tell him all over again.

Did they use enough explosives? Carter may have over estimated.

So Carter and Preacher hook up?

They just blew up a 45 foot shark…you better start worrying about regular sharks. that is a lot of blood.

LL Cool J has a song for the movie!!

 

 

 

 

 

Strange Brew (1983) – Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi you hosers, Geez I just woke up, I don’t know about an intro. Just, take off you nobs,

You’re still here…. well, then let me tell you how to get free Filmsacks:

First, you bribe Scott at the front desk with a couple of Jelly’s. He has a whole drawer full. I’m not even sure he eats them. Just a whole drawer full of Jelly’s. Weird eh.

But THAT will get you in to see Randy.

Now Randy likes to hand out jobs. especially if you threaten to sue him. Currently, he has half of Canada at his employ. Handing out jobs like free beers at Oktoberfest.

Once you have a job, head down to our top secret lair where we keep Ibbott and his haunted  DVD disc changer. Just grab a DVD like Strange Brew. You doon’t worry about Ibbott. He’s usually in the toilet behind the fake wall taking care of “Ibbott business.” I think he gets into Scott’s Jelly drawer a good bit.

Where am I during all of this? Right here. Writing intros and drinking dad’s beer.

So sit back and get some corn. eh. It’s going to be a doosey.

LINKS

Strange Brew (1983)

Directed by Rick Moranis, Dave Thomas. With Rick Moranis, Dave Thomas, Max von Sydow, Paul Dooley. Canada’s most famous hosers, Bob and Doug McKenzie, get jobs at the Elsinore Brewery, only to learn that something is rotten with the state of it.

Strange Brew – Wikipedia

Strange Brew (also known as The Adventures of Bob & Doug McKenzie: Strange Brew ) is a 1983 Canadian comedy film starring the popular characters Bob and Doug McKenzie, portrayed by Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis, who also served as co-directors. Co-stars include Max von Sydow, Paul Dooley, Lynne Griffin and Angus MacInnes.

TWITTER

Strange Brew (1983) –  This movie is a genius, it knows the Atlas. Oh geez, my left nut.

SHOW NOTES

MGM Lion looks stoned. or bummed out.

Cranking a tail. was that a real tail! that seems super dangerous

Movie Theme is not as good as koo koo koo koo

The difference between tv and movies.

That is a lot of beer.

He’s a genius he knows the Atlas.

Russia and Hawaii doesn’t usually get the show.

Theory on movies. How to wreck a movie. Release the moths.

3 B …  sit back and get some corn. ok eh.

2051 AD Ten Years after WW4

He is the Keymaster.

Bowling alleys take it first after ww4

Mutants live in the underground caves.

Omega Man is an influence.

Like using a tape measure to communicate

Whiplash from my burps.

Breaking the 4th wall and then the 5th wall.

They did this on their album guy.

A mason jar of moths will wreck any movie.

The Mutants of 2051 AD was their movie inside a movie.

I cry like that when I spend 2 weeks allowance on a movie.

Police in Canada drive cabs.

This music is very 80s…groove machine…shred some guitar. clean drum rhythms.

Theme song song

Bob and Doug live with their parents.

Why are they in such a hurry to eat when they got home. Beer and donuts?

Is that Yosemite Sam? Their dad is Yosemite Sam? They stole all the WB sounds…no they are watching MGM cartoons. it’s an MGM movie.

You nob.

Look at that old 7-11

What kind of beer store is that? All we have are Grocery Stores and ABC Stores around here.

I believe there will be no charge.

Nice box art to reality shot.

Take off. Hoser.

“He hooked up our stereo.” That used to be a qualifier when we were in high school. Cred.

Is that guy’s security desk have a keyboard.

I need a hidden door bathroom. It’s very humorous..apparently.

Nothing bribes a chunky secretary faster than a pocket donut. no…I was wrong…2 and one is a jelly.

Ahh..the 80s…where set decoration go to be embarrassed.

Computer sounds. Deep press keyboards and bleeepy flashing computers and the hums of vacuum tubes.

“Let’s get some men on the bottling line.”

Go in to get some free beer. Get a job instead. What just happened. Leap of logic?

Bring the lunatics from the asylum…let’s see how the drugs, beer and synth music affect them. Apparently it makes them a hockey team. makes sense.

Haha…”The Colonel is dead but here we are enjoying his chicken.”

Apparently the McKenzie boys are a big joke around the neighborhood.

“Geez I just got up…I don’t know.”

How much beer, corn and donuts are these guys putting away in a day.

Bad guy is bad.

Galactic Border Patrol.

Question Relay Gag.

I wonder if this score will be related.

Take off eh.

Eh.

Brewmeister Smith. is that his real name or his title?

How strong is the bad guy? This strong. Slaps you around and can pick you up by the cheeks.

Level 5!

“Give in the dark side of the force you nob.”

Oww…my left nut.

Piano revelation music. Ting ting ting ting

They horked our clothes!

Blissful ignorance heroes. They just bumble into winning the day.

“They are cutting pirates” Illegal record making?

Used to be a common device. cutting the brakes.

Friendly zombies…that is what we used to think of lunatics.

Hosehead is the dogs name.

Do you feed/water your dog anything that is inappropriate?

Didn’t need to see dad’s face. That broke the myth.

“What the stink are they doing in there?”

Scary. Jason Vohrees on a moped with flowers.

Why am I being chased by a cab. you pull over eh.

The McKenzie brothers are like the Duke Boys.

Oh no. Not the McKenzie van! it’s part of their 80s identity.

When you are only 10 feet from the surface of the water do you need air shoved into your mouth to rise up? Sad music

The detective dub over was amazing.

Apparently he has no brakes either.

Intermission to signify the 2nd act?

We don’t need air. we got beer.

Man. I bet that was hard to film. Props  to the dedication to the gag. Pulled over underwater.

“My compliment to the many fine things in your home.”

“Ahh…my wife.”

Personalities so big…they take over the prison.

He is Tron. He lives in the game.

He knows how to handle the press. Beat the Nation.

Is that the queen over the judges head

Please explain TimeCode

Shove a couple of bullets up your nose.

The judge has magazines on his desk.

That is not how bullets work. But sure. I accept it.

Oh no! Our heroes have been committed.

I love doing the steamroller!

“Hi fellows. My name is Ted.”

That is one big needle…full of beer.

Hey you “6.50” all I got is two 5s

Power plays a weird role in this movie.

I think Ted is Dead. Dead Ted.

We have seen head crushing before…and it hurts.

Got to escape the asylum.

Cowboys on PJs and Spacemen on the other. That was all kids liked back in the early 80s

is that little car a Datsun? they say it is Japanese.

Now you are the mouse.

Is it hard to swim in beer? I wonder if it is hard to swim in carbonated anything?

Ahh…the old pee in the pool…it’s getting warmer in here joke.

Koo ko koo kooo

The superstrong bad guy…how do they get so superhuman strong?

A lot of electrocutions in this movie.

Those who have the power.

Music to accentuate comedy in a comedy. It’s hard to pull off these days.

True McKenzie style. He drank it all.

When your movie turns into Tron.

Did she lay a kiss on the manager?

Who is that security guard at the end. He’s familiar.

The Mckenzie’s are always landing jobs based on their weird skillsets. Yet they never have a job.

Skunk dog.

All the beer is free!!

A Toronto Skunk.

The McKenzie’s know how to interrupt.

Movie review of your movie in your movie.

Freeze Frame. Happy Trails