Spawn (1997) – Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi and welcome to the Marines!

Semper Fi: Do or die!  However, if you do DIE. Be sure to go to straight to hell, do not pass go; do not collect 200 dollars, That’s a joke son, laugh cause you are going to hear a lot of those when you are dead. It’s a real yuck fest in the afterlife.

Anywho, While in hell be sure to make a deal with one of the devils down there. Personally,  I prefer the badly rendered ones.

Be sure keep an eye on the time. A 5 minute meeting in hell can turn into 5 years real quick. Cause, Hell?

When you get back, be prepared fight pun flinging clowns and bearded bad guys with pace makers the size of one of them Electric Lady Schick Razors.

Also, if you run across a kid that keeps calling you Mister. Go ahead and chop it’s head off. It’s a demon in disguise. “Hey mister, you ok? Hey mister, your face looks like a burnt turd. Hey mis…chop!”

LINKS

Spawn (1997)

Directed by Mark A.Z. Dippé. With John Leguizamo, Michael Jai White, Martin Sheen, Theresa Randle. An elite mercenary is killed, but comes back from Hell as a reluctant soldier of the Devil.

Spawn (film) – Wikipedia

Spawn is a 1997 American supernatural superhero horror film based on the comic book character of the same name. Directed and co-written by Mark A.Z. Dippé, the film stars Michael Jai White in the title role, and is the first film to feature an African American actor portraying a major comic book superhero.

 

TWITTER

Spawn (1997) – This movie hits you so hard and fast that it’s like being hit by a happy Algerian seeking missile to the face.

or

Like a military grade gun combined with a super soaker. It’s hard to tell if you are having fun when getting shot in the face. Nope.

NOTES

Release the Doves of hell

That escalated quickly. Peter ain’t gonna be too happy about burning down his gates.

I got a rocket on a tripod.

Splinter Cell’d

This the type of movie if you ain’t AIS  as soon as the movie starts you gonna be asking be me a bunch of questions.

Happy Algerian guy. Waver heat seeking missile

He is the watcher with the bad hat. Bad Hat Harry

and now is the time we dance.

this is some giant sized opening credits. or opening credits from hell.

This is going to be the “From Hell” joke episode

Tricia Takanawa (Family Guy) reporter

5 o’clock Martin. Sheen

writing P.S. is fine…saying P.S. is weird

Why ask why…when how is so much more fun.

Burn that cigarette Sheen…draw in heavy.

What did that

I’m drinking JAVA!

Spaz guards the house and Wanda.

Wait…was he drinking that coffee before he gave it to him. I don’t want your backwash coffee or your thermos coffee…people with coffee have no bounds.

Why did he glow green? was that a ghost fart?

mmm…kill zone was not clear.

She got a leg gun.

The only direction these actors got was…act like a dick…

Trope…just one more operation.

This is a “subversive” arm of the military.

playing them bongos. just the outside…around the rim and shaking these maracas.

I not only do my kill job. I look angry while doing it.

ahhh hell…that gun is a super soaker with Nickelodeon slime…which is super flammable.

That lady is disgusted by Al.

Hey, why you gonna blow up Al you already done burnt him up with flammable goo.

Straight to hell you go Al. You don’t even get to see the pearly gates.

HELL DOVES! coo coo coo.

Hell is a dirty back alley behind a catholic church? I suspected as much.

my beautiful face

The “Hey Mister” kid…I need more of that in my life.

“Hey mister, you don’t look so good.”  Thanks kid. “Hey mister, you smell like you shit your pants.” Thanks kid “Hey mister, are you as dumb as you are ugly.” Beat it kid.

A new spawn…a spawn of hell.

Fragmented memory. 5 years of change makes Spawn angry!

CHANGE MAKE SPAWN ANGRY AND EVEN MORE BURNT AND SMELLY!

That is a scary ass clown.

So what is the green glowy thing…what does that represent.

Spaz still loves me.

Is that kids name Cyan?

Crispy is clowns side kick. A Jiffy Pop Accident.

“Don’t want to keep that side of potato salad waiting.”

Dude…if that clown showed up to entertain my kids…I’d be like “nope.”

So many flash backs.

Don’t mind being short fat and ugly…but the pay sucks.

Clown farts green.

Nectoplasm? is that what they call it?

D-E-D dead

He yells Wanda as he goes to hell like Mortal Kombat.

He talks without moving his mouth. Weirdo CGI creature.

Spawn looks like a burnt up Slim Good Body.

This is one of those fast moving no stops movie.

I have never seen anyone hanging out and playing rock music during a storm in a cemetery. I’ve never seen that.

Why did Dead Al try to grab demon Spawn Al?

Scream like this…

Punch a dude. Develop super costume.

I didn’t know Road Side Dives was shooting at the cemetery. Thanks Guy Ferarararar

Spawn and the dead can die if you cut off their head.

Pizza maggots. I never seen maggots get a hold of pizza like that. Do they eat pizza?

Took Sheen 5 years to grow a beard and the assassin girl is still wearing the same thing (aidan priest). Oh wait…was that his 5 year plan…to grow a beard?

oh…burn wipe…

Cape burn wipe!

Is that lady in the green a power ranger?

Oh Priest bedazzled her costume

Priest should not be talking about others costumes

I wish I had a belt that could block crotch shots. best superpower ever.

Spawn still thinks he needs guns.

Who shoots at a guy climbing a wall…

Cape power of changing. That’s pretty cool.

That time spawn almost fell off the building.

Hope no one is looking out their window…gonna get shot in the face.

My cape is cool.

Do we really need a special effect sound for everything. That cape is noisy.

Did they really have to take her all the way to the ambulance before they figured out she was dead. Are they putting her on ice?

Could clown spit more. intentional or just a an awesome side effect of special effect appliances?

Spaz is like 90 in dog years.

I got to admit that Cheerleader scene with Clown was weird, hilarious and kind of rocking.

The big demon sounds like Claw from Inspector Gadget.

Oh c’mon…no way do you leave your dog there. That’s BS.

Shut up and eat your rotten sandwich.

This is gonna pinch.

Al, Zack and Spaz on a mission!

What dumb asses would insert a trigger for a bomb that would kill everyone.

I could eat worms. I could not eat mayo and worms.

“Curious Crispy”

Clown alternate ego is violator. Who looks 10 times cooler than hell demon?

That is one bad alley.

“You been violated girly man.” That is only a gag that would work for Hans and Franz fans.

Did the clown just sing D-I-C-K-I-N-G as the Kissing in a tree song.

Love me a computer who says out loud what it is doing. like “Downloading secure files.” SHHHHHH

Do ambulances come to back alleys?

Kinky. Chain up Spawn

Costume Trillions neuron extensions.

Well now that you have explained that I can do it…watch me do it…but I got to make grunty noises…even though it is all thought control.

Spawn has more to learn? I mean he like more than 2 minutes of training.

Spawn just sent that kid on a quest to find Spaz…dead or alive.

More rules. Spawn has to protect his powers…when they are depleted he dies.

They gave Clown more one liners than Beetle juice. Has any character ever had more one liners?

He only speaks in puns.

Spawn Cycle. He just spawn it.

Spawn is no good at cycles.

What kind of music is this.

Clown flying through the air…gotta cap that.

“Reading secure files.” The not so discreet Cortana.

Shoot the monitor logic. You shoot the monitor…you destroy the computer and all of it’s contents.

Getting a Roger Rabbit moment from the clown.

That kid didn’t even scream.

Are you a regular Einstein? what is a “regular” Einstein.

Now…cutscene to demon from hell laughing…sure…why not.

“I will rip your heart out…how specific.”

If Clown can look like Wanda. Maybe you should reconsider Clown as your friend.

“See you in Hell Jason.” What year was this? was that a setup. Was that the 5 year plan?

Wow…now that is cool…he can eye suck things out of people?

How big does a switch attached to your heart need to be? That would have killed him.

Getting a Mask vibe…what year was that?

Pretty much everything in hell looks like shit. Whoever shot these can go to hel…wait..

Get stabbed in the neck…explode…makes snse.

Army of Spawns.

Spawn is despawning the whole place.

“You will never escape me…unless you fly up the way you came in….nooooo!”

Spaz really does know where he lives.

Clown has more lives!

OFF WITH HIS HEAD

What is Clown made of?

So…this was the beginning. But it wasn’t…it was the end.

 

 

The Manhattan Project (1986) – Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi, Yes Sir Mr. President, per your orders, we dropped that bomb on those filthy cold war Russians.  But I’m saddened to report sir… that we had some pretty unexpected results… Instead of dirty burnt radiated Ruskies it appears all we did was make their hair fuller and shinier. They couldn’t be happier when we flew back by. Where did you say we got that plutonium from? Ithaca?

or

Yes, Hello…is this Kremlin? This is top secret KGB agent reporting in. I have just returned from American nuclear facility in Ithaca. I have brought with me samples of American plutonium. I must say the mission was easier than we had imagined. Ronald Regan American’s are so over confident of their security that they left full sample on a table unguarded. However, if this sample represents the full force of the American’s might then we can sleep well comrade. Early tests have shown that their plutonium is not a very effective explosive. I feel so safe with this container that I slept with it under my pillow last night.  I was surprised to discover this morning that it had sprung a leak during my slumber. When I woke up I was sure that I would have radiation sickness. But instead my hair has never been fuller or shinier. and smell it….oh…this is a phone joke.

Yeah I know that’s not how that works. But this movie could be called “That’s not how any of this works…now get out of my glove box KidGyver.

LINKS

The Manhattan Project (1986)

Directed by Marshall Brickman. With John Lithgow, Christopher Collet, Richard Council, Robert Schenkkan. A teen and his girlfriend make an atomic bomb with plutonium stolen from a scientist dating his mother.

The Manhattan Project (film) – Wikipedia

The Manhattan Project is an American film, released in 1986. Named after the World War II-era program that constructed the first atomic bombs, the plot revolves around a gifted high school student who decides to construct an atomic bomb for a national science fair.

TWITTER

The Manhattan Project (1986) – Like having an exit sign on your bedroom door. I thought you were a genius.

or

Like asking what motion detectors are for. You know what they are for. you know. you know.

SHOW NOTES

Big ole thumb pushing buttons.

On has a smiley face

This is magnetic. Here is my spoon.

My job Push the button.

is it a good idea to hold you hand over that

Nickelodeon slime.

Truck transports in the middle of the night.

is that a DeLorean in the neighbors drive?

How smart is this kid if he needs an exit sign on his bedroom door

what kind of moron flattens a rounded scoop of Quick

Valium or heroin. that is a wide spectrum there kid

Roland is a dick. No one wants to be a Roland. Let’s blow him up

When did we stop making separate keys for glove boxes and ignitions…or doors for that matter.

Me, my books and my memories are moving in

Happy bike riding music.  Down a country road. You don’t see that much anymore

What are those? Motion Detectors. What do they Do?! Detect some kind of motion?

“Three Yellow Suits to loading please”

Is this some a Mountain Dew bottling facility?

I could use about 2 minutes less of watching robots load plutonium onto racks.

Watch me light my cigar with a laser. Oh GOD! I CUT OFF MY FINGER! Do lasers light stuff or burn holes through stuff.

Lithgow has far too much access to lasers.

What’s that? “Lubricating oil for the robut.”

Are we implying that radiation is creating 5 leaf clovers?

“Are you cold mom? Tough shit. I ain’t your monkey boy.”

This kid is a goofball. He gets his jollies from blowing the horn and digging through gloveboxes.

“Here kid…I got a really loud puzzle toy.” Spin and done.

Hey genius. You just blew my my frozen juice into my blender. that’s gross No way am I drinking that.

I have a TV on my shirt. it’s a TV on my shirt. Now I’m watching TV! I’m ironic!

Doctor Strangelove is in there hitting on my mother and watching my TAPES! MY FUCKING TAPES! TWO FOR THE ROAD also. The day the earth stood still.

So this kid is the GloveBox McGyver

That whole place is nothing but warning. Radiation. High Power. Do Not Enter. Do Not Touch.

KidGyver keeps some weird shit in his bag. One scrubbing glove his mother has been looking for for weeks.

For reals. Do you have any idea how much a bottle of VO5 is! I’ll kill ya.

First. Why the hell would you steal plutonium..in a plastic jar no less…and replace it with VO5. They are going to bomb Russian and all that is going to happen is some very clean smelling Ruskies. Is that offensive? You drop a Vidal Sassoon bomb on me.

What does it say about V05 when the color and consistency is that of Plutonium congealment

So he is going to duct tape nuclear material to his remote controlled Subaru? Sounds like a good plan

This is a really elaborate plan he came up with. A modern movie would have a planning montage to lay the heist out.

This has gone from cute little prank to “they are going to bury this kid under the federal prison after they shoot him.”

Where did that security guard find lug nuts…cause I never have extra lug nuts hanging around.

That married security guard is drooling over a high school girl.

I’ve seen more of the inside of glove boxes in this movie that all other movies combined. Makes me think I am not maximizing my glove box

Weee…let’s make a nuclear device!

I’m learning all this stuff…now I must circle this device in yellow highlighter!

Learning how to make a bomb montage.

C4 is surprisingly easy to acquire in movies

Did the VO5 got 99.998%? (update: nope. it was flat. Just like my hair after using VO5)

This is the most fun anyone has had making a mass murder device. Why is this music so happy at the weirdest times.

Son…why are all these cantaloupes cut up weird. are you experimenting…sexually? We got an American Pie situation in the kitchen but with cantaloupes.

These computer models say you are smart. Let’s plot it!

Just a little murderous mayhem is all

This is more nefarious than Flubber

haha…sexually abusing the hamsters…I wish!!

And my science project is GIANT BUBBLES! made from VO5 at the 45th annual science fair

Them nerds are into her. SHE LOOKED AWAY!

He left the bomb in the car. probably the glove box

If you only have 87 dollars to get to Ithaca. What would you do?

This move has more drug references than I would have suspected

Jenny…you save’ed us…I want to be your wife

No way would they let this kid go this far. He would have been dead already

Thing that grossed out Scott. Kissing after smoking or putting in an ear bud after taking it out of a sleeping guys ear on the bus.

The one black guy in this movie has to hand the white mom the phone. ANSWER YOUR PHONE BITCH

People used to never hang up pay phones

Don’t make me put my nuclear weapon together.

This is how nuclear war happens. Escalation

this is the worst Ithaca Standoff I have ever seen.

Shoot her!

The bomb turned on spontaneously. So a kid who made a home made nuclear bomb made a mistake. That’s an F

This plan has went from bad to worse.

The core got stuck half way in…hate it when that happens

damn cheap ass photo strobes

That is way more hairy dudes holding clippers within inches of one another for me. Grossed Scott out.

Mom has been trying to use her Boom Box all day…but she can’t find any D Batteries

How you gonna get rid of us all. Ya bully.

Too many secrets. Like Jenny smokes.

 

The Last Dragon (1985) – Show Notes (Nerdtacular 2017)

INTRO

 

Oh hi! This is Brian Dunaway all the way  from the other side of the Country.

I hope everyone is have a great time at Nerdtacular 2017, pause for applause. too much pause…  *listen and pointy fingers*

I miss you guys.

Scott, set me up…Scott…set me up.

Oh hi, Sho’ Nuff we done watched a chop stick of a movie this week and in honor of this hot chop suey Motown mess I sent one of my students down to China town to get some advice from Master Sum Dum Goy….He sent back fortune cookies. Let’s see what they say.

Fortune Number One:

You are deeply attached to your family and home. (Apparently)

Fortune Number Two:

You are capable, competent, creative, careful. Prove it. (Toss it up baby!)

Fortune Number Three:

Stop Searching forever. Happiness is just next to you. (picture of Scott Fletcher)

Fortune Number Four:

You are always welcome in a gathering. (picture of Nerdtacular 2017)

and finally…

Fortune Number Five:

You need only to understand that it is not necessary it understand but only enjoy. (i kid you not. i have no idea.)

Thanks guys…oh…what is this…I’m feeling….I’m feeling all glowy!

Love you guys. Have a safe Nerdtacular.

Brian D

LINKS

The Last Dragon (1985)

Directed by Michael Schultz. With Taimak, Vanity, Christopher Murney, Julius Carry. In New York City, a young man searches for the “master” to obtain the final level of martial arts mastery known as the glow. Along the way, he must fight a martial arts expert corrupted with power, and rescue a beautiful singer from an obsessed music promoter.

The Last Dragon – Wikipedia

The Last Dragon (sometimes listed as Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon ) is a 1985 martial arts film produced by Rupert Hitzig for Berry Gordy and directed by Michael Schultz. The film was a critical disappointment but a financial success, and is now considered a cult classic.

 

TWITTER

The Last Dragon (1985) – Like Superman 2 with Black Ninjas and Motown Music. BOW BEFORE SHO’NUFF

or

The Last Dragon (1985) – Like bad sushi. You’ll have your head stuck in a trash can faster than Richie can be a smartass.

SHOW NOTES

Let’s get right to the music and flexing.

Oh Motown. Why are we not using classic Motown music?

Is this Weird Al singing?

This is more crotch shots than I am comfortable with.

Let’s practice Martial Arts….and eat rice!! Chop chop.

Time to switch up to boxing

When your master tries to kill you while you are training. Take a hint.

Leroy is my karate name

The final level. You know without knowing.

Masters think stuff is funny.

Every Samuri needs a Master…or he is Ronin and nobody wants to be Ronin in New York.

How did you end up with Bruce Lee’s medallion? did you beat him up for this?

Meanwhile down at the docks…a black man in a giant hat struts his way to the subway and china town.

uhh…I am tryin watch a movie here. Jam box in the aisle.

Am I meanest? Sho Nuff Shogun

Shade shades.

The Shogun of Harlem is here to watch a movie…

This movie has more interruptions than a Friday night at my house.

BRUCE LEROY!! ahah BRUUUUUUUCE LEEEEROY

Skinny little lizards like you…

Balcony kick!

Off brand Nike karate shoes

Freezer full of pig.

This is like the Lex Luther of white people. What’s in that tub.

Coke is it!

I don’t like the portrayal of white folks in this movie. I LOVE IT!

The great white hopeless.

My video hot pick of the week is DeBarge

There is a DeBarge music video right in the middle of their movie.

You let the order A la carte!

Video Game King!

There is a lot of shiny shirts in this movie.

Who was the costume designer?

JJ the white guy.

Was Motown trying to reinvent itself?

Never say never at Heavens Elevator door. 7th Heaven  with my cloud crowd.

Eddie Arcadian does not like to be turned down.

The clown crowd thinks they have a chance with the star. Stalker bait.

Meanwhile, Leroy just happens by. EYE CONTACT…lots of it.

If you are going to fight like Bruce Lee you have to make faces like Bruce Lee

If these bad guys had cell phones they could have back up in no time. Also, none of these bad guys had guns. Just a switchblade.

Bruce Jerry Curl Leroy

Such magical music after the fight…and now he is gone. TAXI!

Dangit Leroy…you lost your fancy medallion

Angela is a hot 80s mess that looks like a pig pissed in her eye. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!

Yep…Leroy…you just had to be a bad ass didn’t ya.

Yeah…big black guys with chains and clubs.

Johnny the no Martial Arts Asian

Leroy is wearing that Bruce Lee thing

Limp Wimp Leroy.

Kiss my converse

The initial bullying from the bullies.

Rudy!

Black man with a pizza shop. Just direct ya feet to Danny’s pizza.

Why is Leroy talking like a weirdo. He grew up in that house…he didn’t come over on a boat from the orient. Kind of sounds like a robot.

Little Richie is a playa.

Leeroy can not rap.

That lady is always in trouble and Leroy is always there.

I’ve heard worser Mr. Arcadia

Good thing Leroy packed his Ninja outfit.

Also, Leeroy can chase down cars

jive Coolies? Cool Breeze. Leroy can’t get any slack… Everybody hates Leroy

Leeroy Green… Junior

Momma throwing dough at the Martial Arts gang.

This will not be the last time Momma Green is going to have to pull Richie out of the trash can.

Busting up the family shop. That is typical martial arts films.

Leroy doesn’t want to be a body guard.

Dental School dropout. She reminds me of the actress from Little Shop Of Horrors…

Sho Nuff got so much money he can turn down money.

Mr. Nuff.

Wait…he doesn’t have a paintbrush? Then he ain’t gonna be making much love.

Everybody owned a jam box in the 80s

Do we still have “Jack me up” music in movies? Usually, used in training montages. Used here during the Bruce Lee seduction scene.

“Chocolate covered yellow pebble.”

Of course! The Chinese connection. All life’s problems are solved by Bruce Lee plots.

Kung-Fu Head.

Is it really a disguise if you really are the pizza delivery guy?

Medium sized oriental

This should be offensive to Asians and African Americans. But it’s ok right…

Leroy’s battle is against his own stupidity.

THE MASTER IS A COMPUTER!

Sum Dung Goy.

Leroy…you are following Drunken Master.

What you wanna bet the golden glow is like after glow from sex.

That time when your master fucks with you. It is common place for the master.

The old “lock your buddy up or know him out to keep him from putting him in danger.”

Who is operating Arcadias camera on the big screen.

NO GUNS ROCK!

Golaith only has one move…but it’s hard to beat.

Who is that kid. I know that kid.

Richie is going to pop and lock his way out of those ropes.

Who brought the ghost of Mr T to the fight?

Hey Leroy!

The old “next time i will not miss.” Why miss! Just fricken do it moron!

Richie kicked the rock in the nuts so hard that he will never use that again.

Richie done caught a concussion.  We used to think that was funny.

Oh snap. Sho Nuff has the glow. You are so screwed.

This just went from Star Trek to Star Wars.

Sho Nuff…friend to Brisco County

Sho Nuff…just wants to know who’s the master.

He don’t want money…he don’t want fame…he just wants affirmation. Sho Nuff.

Sometimes he takes a drowning to discover who is the master.

Master’s always think shit is funny.

Sho Nuffs powers are on the fritz.

You are the Last Dragon!

Finally! Time to use the gun.

Catching a bullet in your teeth. Quick, to the mythbusters!

What will happen to all the arcades if you chain up Mr Arcadia

The police always show up just in time.

You are the last dragon you posses the power of the glow.

 

Lost In Space (1998) – Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Danger Scott Johnson. Danger.

Brian doesn’t think he wants to live in a future where robots refer to themselves in the third person and announce every directive, program and subroutine. Robot powering on. Robot defragging. Robot  rebooting.

What if robots today announced what they were doing while they were doing it. “Roomba is cleaning Johnson house. Roomba is sucking a lot of Chili-Cheese Fritos. Roomba does not think this is a normal amount of Chilli-Cheese Frito debris. Please kill Roomba.”

and what’s up with the Robot trash talk.  When Joey attacks Robbie he exclaims. “That was a mistake!”?

Who wrote the re-programming for Robot…Joey Image? “That was a mistake brother…Can you smell what the Robot is cooking?”

Brian powering down. Boop

EXPERIENCE IT

YOUTUBE READING COMING SOON

LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE HERE:

339 – The one about Lost in Space

The Robinson family was going into space to fight for a chance for humanity. Now they are fighting to live long enough to find a way home. Join Scott, Randy, Dunaway, and Ibbott as they hang out in a time bubble.

LINKS

Lost in Space (1998)

Directed by Stephen Hopkins. With Gary Oldman, William Hurt, Matt LeBlanc, Mimi Rogers. The Robinson family was going into space to fight for a chance for humanity. Now they are fighting to live long enough to find a way home.

Lost in Space (film) – Wikipedia

Lost in Space is a 1998 American science fiction adventure film directed by Stephen Hopkins and starring William Hurt, Matt LeBlanc, and Gary Oldman. The film was shot in London and Shepperton, and produced by New Line Cinema. The plot is adapted from the 1965-1968 CBS television series Lost in Space .

TWITTER

Lost In Space (1998) – Like an ass sack of baby space spiders. Yep. An Ass Sack Of Baby Space Spiders. Danger

NOTES

After the countries of the world stop fighting

United Global Space Force

Drinking water and clean air

Hypergate

The Global Sedition

Launch ourselves into the blackness of space.

Did they just have a Jetson noise on that ship?

Transport. 2 blips in your shadow…ooooh…there it is.

Terrorist! Space Terrorist!

Mutant Suicide Squad.  A lot going on here…

Also…A ship made of Gerbels

This bad guy looks like borg. Gen-Techs

Trope – Where is my wingman? I been hit.

Why are they flying bubble gum machines.

“Does this mean we are going steady? You aren’t getting out of buying beers that easy.” That is some bad dialogue

Jupiter Mission

The SGI & Army

Alpha Prime!

Dewey!

Dewey is a bad kid. Hey…this kid ain’t Dewey. I thought that for years. 19 years.

Smart kid causing trouble at school

Penny Vision Digital Diary. Why do we not have this. But man…talk about foreseeing the selfie generation.

Captain Daniels has the flu! The flu…always keeping astronauts from going on space missions.

There is another group headed to Alpha Prime

So that’s a no to family dinner?

“Apology video for Will” – How does that sound? “Super sorry kid.”

“Where is my money!?”

Awkward Le Blanc

Recycling Technology promise is a lie! We are screwed!

They are in a race with Global Sedition. Cold war space race to Alpha Prime. Apparently we are the west still.

The bad guys gave the captain a virus.

Bad Dr. Smith joke ends with a door bell.

Jeb Walker would be perfect…don’t sell Jeb out.

“These tube will be perfect or this ship will not launch.”

Talented older daughter. Brilliant youngest kid. Middle Child..typical teenager.

Tupperware parties in 2050?

I need a space cake. Made with space batter.

Robot is online. Robot is offline. Robot so fine.

Fat head hologram. I hope the future of holograms is Giant Heads.

So their whole plan to kill him was contingent that he would not try to remove the bad Ziggy device from his suit?

Hey! We built a thing…in the top of this building.

Who made those uniforms? They are kind of form fitting…feels a little too close to bat nipples costuming.

Hard to take Le Blanc serious.

I think Le Blanc could have been an action hero. What other action roles could Joey have tackled?

Stasis in movies. Is that how Stasis would really work? What’s the science here?

Up is go…on your command…I am cool man…that is part of the job…sounding like a radio guy.

“and the monkey flips the switch” – Major

I see even in 2050 we like making space junk. Poof…you made a lot more ship than we need.

“Taking the family camper on an interstellar road trip”

The Statis conundrum. Do you all go to sleep? Is 10 years really a reason.

What kind of robot announces it’s program. I mean I love it…but it’s kind of stupid. Executing Program. Empty Trash. Defragging. Shutting Down.

What if all robots announced what they were doing while they were doing it. “Roomba is cleaning room. Roomba is sucking dirt. Roomba is turning.”

Forgot about Oldman and LeBlanc being on friends episode where he is the actor who spits for effect

Robot trash talk. “That was a mistake!” Who wrote the re-programming for Robbie…a wrestler.. “That was a mistake brother…Can you smell what the Robbie is cooking?” Who wrote the robot wrester subroutine?

Us humans typically place robots kill switched in the neck.

DESTROY! DESTROY! (echo “Destroy” goto line 1)

“Robot return to docking back and  power down…also, stop being a dick.”

That is one serious barber chair. In what scenario would you need a chair like that that extends to the ceiling.

Can’t get Judy out. She got a big old booty and it is frozen to her statsis bed.

Penny…Precious…Penny….

Either that uniform sucks or it does not. Can you do CPR over it? if you can…it sucks for protection. If you cannot..then take it off.

For a professor he is kind of dumb…”we are way off course.”

Trope: If you can’t pull away…go through…or slingshot around.

Time floaty freeze…jump!

Anywhere…but here…you got to go!

Plot Twist! Lost….wait for it…in…. Space?

ohh…what’s that? A Battle Scar…. nope…a tattoo…apparently Tattoo removal procedures still suck in the future. Better to do a cover up.

She don’t know how tattoos work. She thinks you can cover them with magic marker.

“Some lucky little nerd you left behind.”

Anomoly in progress! A hole in space…and where does it lead?

“I’ll wait later.” I’ll wait to wait.

Joey shows up… “if this is a dream…why can’t there be more girls.”

United Global Spaceforce…UGS

Penny has the hots for Major West.

“Ta Ta…have a wonderful trip.” – The Doctor.

Will hacked into his cpu to scare his dad. “Hey dad! Remember that time Robot nearly killed us all…Destroy Destroy…ha ha ha…good times.” – Will totally not looking for attention.

Robot jump scare.

Now he is just a droid and no longer a robot. You castrated Robbie’s AI.

I do not like it when Evil is aware that it is Evil. I prefer the oblivious evil. “Oh…I’m the evil one…bummer.”

A future ship piloted by Majors old wingman.

Smith is always messing with robots.

Would love to know all the names that Dr. Smith calls the robot.

Major discovered a space monkey.

What kind of Alien ship has spiders and monkeys

Banana Beef. is that a joke about the custard Rachael made in friends.

I would be concerned if Monkey likes Banana Beef.

“I don’t like the sound of that sound”

Robbie Robot says “Mom says get the hell out of there.”

Controls are too slow…gonna need me some holographic interface.

“ewww…they eat their wounded.” – Will

is there anything worse than Space Spiders?

“A million bucks of weaponry and I would trade it all for a lousy can of Raid.” – Commander

Spider scratch…that ain’t gonna be good.

“Save him! Of course…I’ll put it on a cd-rom! The technology of the future!”

A fast DNA reader….that would be cool.

mmmm…heat…

Major is not good at waiting.

Doctor. Professor. Major. Children. Wife.

As humans…we are always crash landing on habitable planets.

The pod and chariot are scrap metal.

Wife says go for the pissing contest. Has anything ever been solved in a pissing contest…and what are the rules? How do you win?

Technology of the future looks like technology of the past when you  get to the insides.

Let’s name the space monkey Blarp…that sounds like a girls name.

Smith has always been good at causing dissent.

“Sarcasm is the recourse of a feeble mind.” -Major

Porky Pig and Bugs Bunny are future past things. Along with Raid, Tupperware, baseball and bad chicken jokes.

Joey always needs the sex.

Men are from Penis and Women are from the Kitchen

Goodnight montage. Thanks John Boy.

Time for plot 2.

Did Joey just take her water?

Time travel is impossible…nope…improbable.

Son. Stick your Flights Of Fancy.

Robinson S17863-3-d

S17863-3-d – Google Search

No Description

“Drama Bot..can not locate motor control.”

“Warm fuzzy feeling when I think about Baseball.”

“Listening to your heart instead of your mind. Put that in your memory banks.”

“Two moons and a crater the size of Miami.” – Major

No…the question is not where are we…but when!

Robbie!

“Why did the robot cross the road? because he was carbon bonded to the chicken.”

I am confused. You use the same “lock” / “unlock” voice commands for gun safety’s and doors? That could cause a problem.

It’s just like stepping between 2 rooms..except you get hit in the face

Billy…Kissing….Billy…Kissing….Popcorn…Kissing.

Middle Aged Will is bitter Will.

I’m both proud and scared of you right now Will.

Dr. Smith is so aware of his evil and monsterness.

Meanwhile on Level Q…we are making a time machine.

Dr. Spider Smith is very Dark Crystal. Love how he moves in that robe. Also, where did he find all that black robe material?

Robot has no heart!

Back off…Robot got this!

So robot can not do first person? He always has to refer to himself in the 3rd person?

Let’s forget the past Will…

Dr. Spider Smith has a back sack of baby spiders.

Will was saved by Grandpa’s dog tags.

We got to go through! It’s the only answer!

 

 

 

 

Enemy of the State (1998) – Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi! and Welcome to  my cage of  90s era tech gear or as I like to call it “the Jar.” that’s right….”the jar..” why do I call it “the jar?” because it protects me from being bugged…however, a jar doesn’t actually do that now does it.

No I call it “the jar” because sometimes I like to pee in it.

oh… don’t sit there… or there…and don’t turn on that monitor…there may be porn. I forget.

Yeah…I’m a dirty old man in a jar. Would you like to see naked pictures of Lisa Bonet? oh…in that case, do you have any?

Dirty old man in a jar. Man-O-Jar. Jar-O-Man. jar…gross.

you got dad jokes? I got grandpa jokes.

LINKS

Enemy of the State (1998)

Directed by Tony Scott. With Will Smith, Gene Hackman, Jon Voight, Lisa Bonet. A lawyer becomes a target by a corrupt politician and his NSA goons when he accidentally receives key evidence to a serious politically motivated crime.

Enemy of the State (film) – Wikipedia

Enemy of the State is a 1998 American conspiracy- thriller film directed by Tony Scott, produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, and written by David Marconi. The film stars Will Smith and Gene Hackman, with Jon Voight, Lisa Bonet, Gabriel Byrne, Loren Dean, Jake Busey, Barry Pepper, and Regina King in supporting roles.

 

TWITTER

Enemy of the State (1998) – Like this movie is  either very smart or incredibly stupid. Probably the latter.

SHOW NOTES

 

I don’t want your thermos coffee…I want to walk my durn dog!

Poor puppy. Damn you Barry Pepper

Shot to the neck and Barry’s to blame…you give Pepper a bad name.

What Font is this? Enemy of the Font

A cast of young comedians indeed.

Discussion: If you base your movie during Christmas how does that affect your musical/score budget? Do you pay for music playing as background music in a store.

 

 

A Hobbes and a Rico

Hobbs Act – Wikipedia

Section 1951 also proscribes conspiracy to commit robbery or extortion without reference to the conspiracy statute at 18 U.S.C. § 371. Although the Hobbs Act was enacted as a statute to combat racketeering in labor-management disputes, the statute is frequently used in connection with cases involving public corruption, commercial disputes, and corruption directed at members of labor unions.

Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act – Wikipedia

The Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act, commonly referred to as the RICO Act or simply RICO, is a United States federal law that provides for extended criminal penalties and a civil cause of action for acts performed as part of an ongoing criminal organization.

 

Is Guido offensive? Apparently

Guido (slang) – Wikipedia

Guido is a slang term, often derogatory, for a working-class urban Italian American. The guido stereotype is multi-faceted. Originally, it was used as a demeaning term for Italian Americans in general. More recently, it has come to refer to Italian Americans who conduct themselves in an overtly macho manner.

 

A secret meeting in a restaurant with Lisa Bonet!

What is the Will Smith Attitude? Is it smartass? sarcasm? innocent playfulness.

That ain’t me and furthermore…wasn’t me.

For someone body who tries to stay out of trouble with the law.

Porno from Hitler’s Bunker

Eggplant?

He’s got acquaintances…

 

Time schedule. 1 week to let the mob know who made the tape.

Mob hangs out at a restaurant.

man…those cops are blind if they didn’t notice a guy across the way retrieving a video camera. You do not need binoculars to see that.

We need two Humpty Dumptys

Wire on that birdwatcher…

Those are not crew cuts…those are really high crew cuts.

A Sun system….save the manatees.

“Fuck a duck.”

Where does this Lingerie store exist? Where ladies walk around in lingerie.

Meth neighbor is meth-rif-fic

What kind of progress meter is that?

Lock pick number 1 – Danny’s apartment

Lat / Long number 1

What kitchen nightmare did they run into.  “I’m running…but I got to know why that duck is on fire!?”

and into Barber shop.

This is one of the most intense chase scenes ever. Somewhere between Armageddon and The Rock…is this the first satellite surveillance type chase scene in modern movies?

Dad jokes. He’s kidding…He’s kidding.

 

you can’t rotate a camera fool!

is that Megatron on that bag?

Red wine and paperwork

Would someone please kill the tiny dog. Ratchets up the tension.

“He didn’t secrete it into any of my body orifices.”

So they are breaking back in?

That dog is going to eat you

They painted the dog green!

wait…you don’t have a big screen TV.

“I blend”

“You ever beat off in the shower Brian?” – Capture audio – at the table when Will Smith is fired.

“Wanna blend…” – why you take a man’s blender!

Jack Black is always suspicious holding his directional mic in a newspaper.

Lisa Bonet is even more sarcastic

Brill…what kind of name is Brill… Breal…. B Real

Marking a mailbox …and under seat 32…which is great…cause who looks there…but what if Oprah is on the Ferry…

“Who is They and Why are they pointing things in my shoes.”

This movie does not shy away from real phone numbers / real license plates and so forth.

If they ask for Lat and Long one more time I am going to smack someone

How many Lock Picks? How many Lat/Longs?

Will Smith’s charm is being 80% smooth and 20% losing his cool

Here comes Randy Quaid in a powered wheel chair.

Elevators are a safe haven.

Why you pouring chips on me? Pour some chips on me! –

You are either very smart or incredibly stupid…that is quite the spectrum

the old “Either Shoot me or tell me what is going on?”

“If you live another day, I’ll be very impressed.”

it’s in your pants!! It’s in your pants!

Trope: Charm your way into a room while being chased.

Woooooo…..

Mrs. Wu is a freak…oh…Woooooo…I get it.

Why does the tracer screen get all fuzzy when he throws his pants off…like video graphic degradation is relate-able to tracking signal.

how long does it take for a car to catch a person on foot.

The real Brill.

Brill gives the original Luigi stare after he runs the fake Brill into a car.

How much money do they make…they got a nanny?

Why does Nanny have a lockup in her car in the back?

Dang dirty thieving kids. I lied…you are so grounded.

Will smith is a master skulker.

I call it the Jar…not because it protected from bugging….but because I piss in it from time to time.

You know the Hubble Telescope? On a totally unrelated subject…they have 100s of satellites pointing down on us.

Fuel line must be broken…you just got that?

Planes, Trains and Automobiles that disc

Why is your El Camino so flammable? I suspect too many old man farts in the seats.

“It’s pump action” is this movies  “It’s a unix system”

Really old man…really…you can fall on the tracks. really.

Train of convenience to separate the chase.

“Tell your story walking!” – Old Man Pump Action (Hypoglycemic)

Perfect timing for phone tapping. Got the info you needed at the start of a conversation as soon as you activated it.

Outrageous demands…who made it?

No more smoke detectors in my house.

Classic Mafia vs FBI

THERE ARE 2 TAPES!

Bad intel gets everyone kilt

Jack Black and Jamie Kennedy survive…Technical Support!

Nothing sexy about monitoring

“No more hanging with Dillon.”

I never saw the big screen tv that Will Smith referred to being broken.

The film opened at #2, behind The Rugrats Movie, grossing $20,038,573 over its first weekend in 2,393 theatres and averaging about $8,374 per venue

 

 

‘Enemy of the State’ TV Reboot With Jerry Bruckheimer in the Works at ABC

Another movie is making its way to television. ABC is developing a series based on the 1998 Will Smith film ” Enemy of the State,” Variety has learned. Smith is not attached to the project in any capacity. Original producer Jerry Bruckheimer is back on board for the TV project and will serve as an executive producer.

Project X (1987) – Show Notes

project x 1987 man and monkey

Intro:

Oh hi and welcome Cadets to  Project X or as I like to call it Project “What Could Possibly Go Wrong.” Here we have assembled an elite force of Air Force pilots to train a team of carefully vetted primates who we will be working with to test the effects of radiation exposure on pilots in case of a second strike scenario.

Just kidding, we actually gathered the Bad News Bears of flying military personnel to train some chimps picked by a guy on a dock somewhere… what was wearing a “sorting hat.” We then takes those chimps and have them fly through some “bad juju” complete with a Jack In The Box style Global Thermal Nuclear Device that I use to heat my coffee. Shall we play a game? Goliath, my coffee is getting cold. Give it 2 more rads, ya damn dirty ape.

Aim High!

Links

Project X (1987 film) – Wikipedia

Project X is a 1987 American science fiction comedy-drama film produced by Walter F. Parkes and Lawrence Lasker, directed by Jonathan Kaplan, and starring Matthew Broderick and Helen Hunt. The plot revolves around a USAF Airman (Broderick) and a graduate student (Hunt) who are assigned to care for chimpanzees used in a secret Air Force project.

Project X (1987)

Directed by Jonathan Kaplan. With Matthew Broderick, Helen Hunt, Willie, Okko. An Air Force pilot joins a top secret military experiment involving chimps, but begins to suspect there might be something more to the mysterious “Project X”.

Twitter:

Project X (1987) – Like an actual portrayal of the Air Force; bunch of flying chimps! Just kidding, don’t bomb my house ya damn dirty apes.

Show Notes:

Roll that beautiful stock footage!

Poomba!

That is one serious giraffe. Shoo…fly away bird

Do you ever feel like a giraffe is staring at you?

I know what you did last summer

Meanwhile down at the “Apes for Ants” cafe.

“eat the bug off my stick! eat it! ”

It’s a brush full of  men!

‘Don’t shock the monkey! Cause he’s an ape!”

James Horner does the music! it’s been a while!

Let’s make a deal with the overly enthusiastic  animal poacher.

Who is this guy? The monkey whisperer? The Calaban of apes….he’s the sorting man. Kind of reminds me of Curious George and the man in the banana suit…HAT!

Aww…look how young…no…not the ape… Helen Hunt.

gif by Scott Johnson

Virgil.

This means apple…also, pointing to this apple means apple.

Is it a good idea to eat the monkey’s apple?

Why does the sign for apple look like “She’s abusing me in the face officer.”

“What time is it?” Half past a freckle on a monkey’s ass.

Virgil wants to fly! Just like back at the “I’m Ape For Ants Cafe”

Wonder if that is a real monkey making noises or if it is Helen Hunt?

“No, it’s not play time.” This movie could be subtitled that. Space X: It’s Not Play Time.

gif by Scott Johnson

That is not a real clock dude….what is the sign for “dumbass.”

Virgil is hairy; not stupid.

The National Health Foundation.

Man, I thought cats were expensive. 15k to buy. 10k yearly upkeep.

“Virgil, Fly…like bird…like in Wizard of Oz. Cept with Apes. Why should monkeys have all the fun. Helen Hunt kind of looks like the wicked witch.”

How convenient…Virgil joins the air force. The monkey dreams of flying one day…joins the air force…oh c’mon!

Them monkey are excited to see Virgil. FRESH MEAT!

They ain’t ever going to let him fly again…not in that shirt.

Bueller doesn’t seem like a screw up. wait..

Cue the silly music.

Rule: pound for pound 7 times stronger than us.

“No funny stuff mister” – Do we still say that?

gif by Scott Johnson

Clapping monkey doesn’t know when to clap. “Yay! oh wait…YAY!”

up…up…

Lady with the blond hair…all lady with blond hair look the same to Virgil.

What is Broderick mopping? Is it ape pee? I hope it’s ape pee. or is Broderick sort of the Clarice in this situation. Whenever you walks by the cage/cells Goofy throws ape goo at him.

Moon is in the seventh house but I’m still knocking on the 6th door. Pretty sure that is a rock ballad from the 70s

Circus Chimp. They are the worst. Smoking. Trying to get me to win a prize for my pretty lady.

Humans are stupid. End sentence

captured by Scott Johnson

Thank goodness for sign language lady from United Way who quickly taught Broderick basic sign language.

I don’t believe it! You must have been a united way ape!

dumbass…what did he expect the monkey to be signing. Of course he is signed out. He’s in a cage…you think he is going to be signing “Penthouse Magazine?” That is a totally different gesture.

A new girl in the neighborhood! Let us out…what is the sign for making it like a couple of apes?

gif by Scott Johnson

All of this sign language could been resolved with pointing. Teach an ape to point.

Virgil is making friends with everyone! He’s fulfilling all of the ape desires!  Virgil knows all…he even knows Broderick wants to fly. He’s more than smart..he’s the wishmaster.

He’s an ape genie.

The Joy Of Signing.  We’ve all read it?

Diamond shaped smile ape freaks me out. Make my Diamond face.

great…now my nickname is razzleberry. What would be your Ape Nick name?

Maybe we rename Goofy to Homicidal maniac.

gif by Brian Dunaway

Virgil just got his blue belt…err…collar…TOTALLY not ape slaves.

Pretty sure kissing your trainee is frowned upon. That is like teacher/student loving right there…and that is wrong…right there.

What happened to Watts? Man in the Bucket.

Blue Beard. Walking the mile…walking the ape/chimp mile.

 

Before drones…apes were our best bet to mitigate human losses?

“Trainer evacuate chamber.” – me when playing pokemon go and taking a poo

Slow motion staring ape is scary as hell.

mmm…that’s some good radiated coffee. “How many rads is this coffee son? Give it two more rads would ja”

gif by Brian Dunaway

“Lord of the Apes.”

gif by Scott Johnson

Giving our Apes cute nicknames was probably not a good idea. Unless you want to call them things like Chicken Nuggets. Bag of Popcorn. Defrost.

Come on Virgil. Straighten up…You are making it so easy for me  to want to zap fry you Virgil.

Jimmy fell for the oldest trick in the book…”lemmie see your BIC pen for a minute. GO GET IT BOY!”

“Red Collar equals gurney nap.” – Virgil’s mind

Virgil is a tattletale! “GUESS WHAT I SAW! Hoo hoo hoo! Screech! Gurney Naps For All! hoo hoo hoo”

Trope/True – Old white men are evil.

Not the red neck! Anything but the red neck Jimmy!

Movie Logic: Cause I learned sign language…I am smart at other things as well. I am practically human now.

No way if you break into a room of your superiors and run your mouth do you not get thrown in the brigg.

Off Hour Entry – EpPPpppPpp

Apes stakes good! <- what?

“Way to go Jimmy…we had everything under control until you set off the alarm. Now our sky light escape is ruined Jimmy…Ruined!” – Virgil Ape

Who was Goofy calling on the phone? “Hello, I would like 2 dozen pizzas delivered to the lab the air force base.”

Goofy Bird to you Doctor!

Does Clappy have a nickname…cause I’m calling him Clappy.

Oh how the tables have turned. Good thing we have guns in the locker room.

Quick. Throw away that soda and pizza plate! The doc is here!

Lights Off…Light on…Lights Off….sure I fly experimental planes all day…but this….Lights on…Lights off…this satisfies my OCD…Lights on…Lights off.

…and you wonder why we lock up apes…look what happens when you let them out…they go all Planet of the apes on ya!

Uh oh…you released the radiation pod you fools!

Well..that is what happens when you go all 2001 on the radiation pod Goliath

You want a cig Goliath? Too bad Spock face. Now live short and die.

Virgil is way smarter than Goliath. Cause…sign language!

What is the end game here? You are still a bunch of monkey’s in a plane. It’s not like the Air force is going to just let you go.

How much gas did that plane have? like a gallon. Monkey’s never had to fuel up in the SIM.

“Sir the bottom is too soft.” – please capture audio Scott!

You are free Slave Apes…now form a society of intellectual apes and enslave us humans one day.

Monkey names first in the credits. What about the humans!

Pretty sure this is how Planet of the apes starts.