Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

The Evil Dead (1981) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

and Join us…..no not you Cheryl,..not you…you stay in the cellar and decompose quietly….I mean, why did you even come on our “College Couples Going To A Creepy Cabin To Hook Up In The Woods Trip Anyways?”

I brought a date. Scotty brought a date…but not you Cheryl… nope…not you….YOU brought a Sketch Book and a number 2 pencil. and you know what…you can’t date a Sketch Book and a number 2 pencil Cheryl?…well maybe YOU can…but not me… I have a girlfriend. A girlfriend who probably has lead poison in her ankle thanks to you and now she is most definitely not “in the mood.”

But you know what Cheryl…I’m going to make the best of it ..because that is what we do. Now who’s turn was it to read from the book inked in human blood and covered in human skin? Oh yeah…it’s me again.. Cheryl! Hey, Did you notice this book has a face? Maybe IT can be your date…

Cheryl and Skin Book,
Sexing in a Tree
…R…A…P….P…I…N…G……

No I I know that’s not how you spell rape Cheryl! Now Shutup…No…I’m telling mom…and that is how a real weekend with your little sister in the woods would go. There…I fixed your horror movie. Love ya sis.

First comes rape….
Then comes miscarriage
Then comes Cheryl
With an empty baby carriage.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083907/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Evil_Dead

TWITTER

The Evil Dead (1981) – This kind of looks like your old girlfriend sister you locked in the cellar of the cabin in the woods called Evil Dead 2? Hey is that creamed corn coming out of your sleeve. 1981 what time to be a deadite

SHOW NOTES

  • It’s water! What does it mean?!
  • 4:3 Swampy Pond Bubble Bubble Toll and Trouble
  • Nice Bowl cut
  • This must be some 1981 kind of car singing.
  • Tennessee Border..
  • Lazy Mary Truck!!!
  • Which puts us right…here…dead.
  • Haha…Bruce Campbell …that car has a very inconsistent rolling up and down.
  • I wasn’t honking at you!
  • Why is the car owner in the back seat?
  • Dangerous Bridge indeed.
  • What are they riding in to get these car in the woods shots? Cause that is awesome!
  • No one even has seen this cabin in the woods.
  • Every disturbing camera angle you can imagine.
  • “We’ll wait here by the car.”
  • Oh man…I would not step into a smokey cabin like that.
  • All of these shots are eye level or above. nope…down below.
  • Room full of rusty metal tools…check.
  • Draw the clock…it broke.
  • I draw real good! Also, windy prompted book of the dead.
  • Perhaps it is in the basement
  • Party Down. I Nis mis Tu Tu Tu Tarim
  • A fine dinner party of mac and cheese, moonshine and salad.
  • Sure…let us go into the basement
  • Hey Scott…Scotty…Linda!
  • 2 dudes…3 girls…
  • The only way to watch this is on a 13″ to 19″ Tube TV.
  • This Basement has a closed door…never go into the room in a basement behind a closed door.
  • Boom Stick. The Hills Have Eyes
  • Scotty is a real shit…pointing guns at people
  • Bruce is a good sport…a little too good of a sport.
  • The book has a drawing of itself?
  • Ruins of Candar…Candarian Ruins.
  • Naturan Demanto. Book of the dead…Bound in human flesh and inked in human blood. Deals with Demons and Demon Resurrections.
  • Don’t recite this book. License to inhabit the human body.
  • Samerian chants. Don’t do that.
  • “Shut it off!” – Cheryl
  • Scott doesn’t know when to stop.
  • Hey baby…let’s listen to the thunder
  • Join Us Cheryl Art Hands…you lonely single lady in a couples cabin.
  • All the single ladies…all the single ladies. Scream
  • Attacked by the roots!
  • Raped by the roots
  • I want to leave right now Ashley…Ash
  • Bridge is out
  • Wife is possessed by Candarian Demon…only dismemberment
  • Demon Cheryl issues a dire warning…1 by 1 we will take you.
  • Pencil to the ankle. Lead poison
  • and into the hole you go Cheryl
  • Shelly is out!
  • For God’s Sake…what happened to her eyes!
  • These demons are always retreating and entreating.
  • Stay away from the durn windows!
  • Join us! Such pretty skin!!
  • The demon in the basement is really jazzed up.
  • While Bruce Stands By….with axe….
  • She’s dead…we got to bury her. now!
  • She’s your girlfriend…you take care of her
  • Linda done gone bad.
  • Scotty got bit!
  • No bridge…The Trail…the Tree…it knows
  • I think Linda and Cheryl are having more fun than you.
  • Come on ash…don’t punch your girl…shoot her. Choot her.
  • not another peep. time to go to sleep
  • Ash done lost it
  • Oh hi….join us
  • that is a back stabbing dagger
  • No. Remember Linda and the necklace…you can’t just chainsaw her! Of course you can.
  • OMG…that calve digging was painful as fook
  • Beat her with a railroad tie
  • Grody, next spurts right into the ole mouth hole.
  • Look at all the Fake Shemps
  • “Where did I see those box of shells?” oh yeah..
  • This cabin is full of blood.
  • Shut up Linda!
  • “c’mon why you torturing me like this.” – Ash
  • Hope is in the necklace…or Linda is regret? or love is hope?
  • haha…the futility of blocking a door 4 foot away from a giant window
  • Scott ain’t dead…but he does have eye goo!
  • Ow….poker to the back!!!
  • use the necklace as a hook!
  • Nooooo…he burnt the book of the dead! That is all it took?
  • Every Tool Music Video!!
  • is that creamed corn or oatmeal?
  • Giant monster hands!!! This is way worse!!
  • One last Join Us
  • Daylight!

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Super Mario Bros – The Movie (1993) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

oh hi,

Hello, is this the Dinohattan Police Department? Well this is Big Bertha down at the “Evolved Dino Dance Club” located in the alternate earth dimension where dinosaurs evolved into people… and I would like to report a theft. Yes, a plumber stole my necklace like he stole my heart. Additionally he took my jumping rocket boots. Well I sort of gave them to him and his cute little Leguizamo brother. But I’m pretty sure they are not bringing those back either.

Hello? Are you even listening? What am I hearing right now? It sounds like you are getting a back rub by some dino-prostitute in high heels using their stinky dino feet.

Sounds accurate, because it is accurate?

Listen, get in your Road Warrior Hybrid Police Vehicle and/or Walk the Dinosaur down here and get my necklace back before I de-evolve your dino-bits.

Oh wait…the police cars in this alternate dino reality all run on electricity because they don’t have fossil fuels. In fact the whole reason for their lagging behind earth one is because there was no industrial revolution fueled by the oil industry! Could this movie perhaps be more than what I thought?

Nah…Dino Mario…Swing your arms from side to side
Come on, it’s time to go. Dino Mario!

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108255/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Mario_Bros._(film)

TWITTER

Super Mario Bros. (1993) – I think Luigi Mario said it best when he proposed the question “It was a pleasure to meet me. Do you eat?” Trust the fungus.

Dino Mario…Swing your arms from side to side
Come on, it’s time to go. Dino Mario!

SHOW NOTES

  • A long time ago…ruled by the dinosaurs.
  • Parallel dimension Intelligent Fish and Dinosaurs…wiped out by meteor found their way back
  • Brooklyn 20 year ago…dropping off the baby at the church
  • and back to the sewers you go mom. Oh…it’s an egg…she left an egg.
  • Kuppa wants the rock…which is an egg…with a baby in it. and a rock…baby girl
  • 3 plungers of varying sizes!
  • Mario Brothers…no leak too small
  • On a Miraculous World.
  • University is digging for dino bones…keep your construction away Scapelli
  • Sniffing dogs….
  • Found her. …2 Arms…1 Head…2 Legs
  • “It was a pleasure to meet me. Do you eat?” -Luigi
  • Everybody’s got tap water…3 dollars for a bottle of ater?
  • Free Tans!! Thanks Mario’s Brother!
  • She is the baby!!!
  • Luigi is not Mario’s brother? He was adopted?
  • Wake up Spike!!
  • No I bag her and you grab her…no I grab her and you bag her.
  • Weird is working at a bone pit.
  • They are both low self esteem people.
  • Mario is batting way out of his league.
  • No security at the bone pit
  • She feels comfortable in the pit
  • 0 for 5
  • Luigi always has a feeling..shortcuts…and phasing rocks.
  • From Brooklyn to Koopa Dinohattan
  • Princess Daisy and the Rock
  • 2000 Koopa Coins for the plumbers.
  • Moon boots took the stone …meteorite.
  • Mario Mario and Luigi Mario.
  • Check in Cop and his foot to shoulder massage.
  • This is like living in Beetle Juice world for far too long.
  • The Old king was de-evolved into the goo.
  • Egg Sucking Son of a Snake
  • T-Rex is Koopa
  • Toad to Goomba
  • Vote Koopa
  • Evolve the dummies
  • Yoshi is a pet
  • Dino Descendants
  • Plumbers – Disgusted Voice
  • I am with you cousin!
  • 65 Million Years ago.
  • K – Koopa Towels
  • Yoshi is a throwback
  • Big Bertha with the boots
  • Uh oh…he stole Bertha’s heart and then her necklace…this will end badly.
  • Time to walk the dinosaur.
  • Koop Pizza.
  • These pipes haven’t been serviced for years.
  • Take care of your tools Luigi
  • Trust the Fungus

Mario : [trying to get a dance with Big Bertha] Hey, the name’s Mario. I’m your main man, your ram-a-dame, your can of spam…

Bertha : [punches him and laughs]

Mario : [second try] Excuse me. Will you hit me again? I’ve never seen such fluidity. The way your knuckles crunched as you smashed ’em into my face.

Bertha : [grabs him by the jacket] Dance with me. I’ll hit you all you like.

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Running Scared (1986) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Alright guys, suck wall, you all are under arrest for watching an illegal amount of buddy cop movies and then discussing those buddy cop movies at length for 10+ years.

You have the right to shut your filthy mouths.

Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of public opinion.

You have the right to a social media account.

If you cannot create an account, one will be provided for you by Google and then taken away from you 1 year later. because hey, it’s Google .

Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? Yeah me either.

With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me? No? Fine then I will just pop a cop squat and fire off a couple of shot. so we can get on with this love fest.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091875/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Running_Scared_(1986_film)

TWITTER

Running Scared (1986) – Do you think we all wear uniforms and drive cars that say “Filmsack” on them? Well we do. Hey what size is that love you have there?

SHOW NOTES

  • Buddy buddy cop
  • Street ball with Joey Pants
  • 50K dollars!
  • You mugging us?
  • Let us keep the driver’s license and the snapshots
  • Miranda rights
  • What is wrong with that one guys gun…is it wooden?
  • These muggers have a pretty nice car but shitting guns.
  • The mean alleys of Chicago
  • 6 shot. You always aim low anyways.
  • Bill Crystal does an old jewish guy.
  • A line up of 4 cops and Snake number 5
  • Joey no Pants…what am I stupid?
  • First Spanish GodFather of Chicago
  • Meeting down at the docks.
  • Gonzales – Drugs from Columbia. Broke up the DEA bust.
  • Time to take a break.
  • A very bad sign when a cop thinks Chicago will fall apart without them
  • Vacation in Key West. Far south as they can go without learning a new language
  • Key West is full of woman who are ok with riding around guys on motoscooters and lying around in hammocks and buying bars with dead aunt money.
  • High we sell tupperware…we sold him jello molds…is that kid shooting birds? Do you need a lettuce crisper…Yeeeees! When fired upon…return fire.
  • Undercover Cop Car.
  • Crystal has never been shot…but his partner hasn’t.
  • Throw me the pants and I’ll throw you the whip. It’s ok. I have long johns…they are long and the leanest and rhymes with enis or meanis
  • You have the miranda warning/rights and their variations for you.
  • “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?”
  • Hines does not want to give up his pants. Hope them Johns are clean.
  • Hey that is Julios car…you’re not Julio!
  • Cell phone call humor. Tell him I said hello
  • Pop a Cop Squat
  • You’ve never called for backup before
  • Taxi Cab Cop.
  • Can you

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

The World Is Not Enough (1999) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Ok secret agent man. Here I am again. Alone. In the trunk of another henchman’s car. Waiting to be discovered and then bam. You dead Davidov. It’s the perfect plan! Except…It has already been 30 minutes and I have no idea where we are going and I am getting restless ! I need some action!

Hmm let’s see what MI6 has equipped me with to fight off the ultimate henchman. Boredom Oh…what would be Boredom’s subversive henchman name be? Bor-Dumb..haha…no..too on the nose…Mister DullMan…no…too much to unpack…How about blasé! It’s French! Nailed it!

Well Mr. blasé say goodbye because it is 1999 and I am stuck in a henchman’s trunk for an indeterminate amount of time and I have a state of the art Nokia Phone and a desire to beat my high score on that classic video game Snake. Noooo! I clearly turned and dodged that wall. This game is crap!

Hey…we are stopping…

Oh hi Davidov! You Dead. and now time to Roll those intro credits with the Sexy Silhouetted ladies and a game of I think I saw a nipple.! Blase be gone!

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0143145/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_World_Is_Not_Enough

TWITTER

The World Is Not Enough (1999) – This movie starts with garbage and ends with Bond on top. Oh James. Hey, what’s that sawing sound.

SHOW NOTES

  • This movie starts with Garbage
  • Quick gun shot then the movie
  • BilBao, Spain…le…la…
  • Bond in glasses! What sophistication is this?
  • Is he getting frisked or is he getting fitted?
  • So Good Of You…Mr. Bond.
  • Who can’t trust a Swiss banker
  • Lady and Bond sharing glances.
  • Check her figures…I am sure they are perfectly rounded
  • Sir Robert bought a report
  • I just want a name
  • All this bank humor is killing me…I am tempted to count them.
  • somebody is watching our for James.
  • It is time for the first escape scene already! Well yeah…it’s bond movie!
  • That was fast.
  • ha! phallic!
  • more bad jokes! How many bad jokes!
  • He conquered the world by 3 million pounds documents
  • Money Penney…Stop King…like she got time for that.
  • The trigger was his pin…the money was explosive!
  • Frustrated Q and his unfinished Experimental Jet Boat
  • the first real chase…still no intro.
  • It is impressive to see someone drive that assassins boat.
  • She has a lot of firepower in that boat…too bad she can’t hit anything with it.
  • Underwater tie adjustment.
  • nah…fire bad….I know…a shortcut..THAT AIN’T NO SHORTCUT!
  • When your backup plan involves a hot air balloon. You are doing it wrong.
  • I can protect you! NOT FROM HIM…boom!
  • Finally! Intro! 14 minutes in.
  • Ahh yes…let us play the “can you see a nipple in the James Bond intro slither” game
  • Oh…the world is not enough…but a perfect place to start.
  • Will the themes in the intro be in the movie! Stay tuned!
  • Urea! that was a lot of effort to kill King.
  • Terrorists!
  • “TANNER!”
  • So many bad puns! Now we are onto doctor jokes.
  • Bagpipe of hate. now pipe jokes.
  • Qs fishing boat! You killed it
  • Ah, yes the legendary 007 wit. Half wit.
  • 6 beverage holders.
  • Double O Pun
  • 2 Q Rule Never Let Them See You Bleed. Always Have an Escape Plan.
  • That guy got no senses! Now he is a superhero. Terrorist.
  • One more pun! One more dog gone pun!
  • Shadows stay in front or behind…but never on top…that is it…I’m out.
  • That helicopter has saw balls…I wonder if that will come back up again.
  • The locals love Miss King!
  • It is Oil related…just like the intro.
  • from the desert to the mountains…let us ski our way to sexy
  • oh no! ParaHawks. Seems inefficient way to kill 2 people
  • Haha…if you cut their chutes they will start sputtering.
  • Yay! He had the inflatable ball of protection.
  • Meanwhile is Baku
  • Not you Davidov! Him – Davidov…Whaaaa?!
  • From I don’t need you…to Please Stay!
  • and now…time to drink and gamble! Cause that is James Bond man!
  • Did he get those x-ray specs out of the back of a comic book?
  • Bad Bad guys are always pimping it up.
  • Pay day daddy!
  • Mr. Bullion does not trust banks
  • Has his own brand of Caviar. Zukovsky. Nothing Free Caviar
  • BlackJack? Let’s keep it simple…old maid…go fish? 1 Million dollar game of Go Fish.
  • Gave Davidov the night off.
  • Welcome to the Devil’s Breath! Hindus like this place…want to hold a scalding rock?
  • Davidov is the traitor!
  • The ParaHawks were to be returned…did they rent them? Try explaining that to the ParaHawk Rental office.
  • Well…Bond succumbed to his more basic instinct.
  • I knew it would be like this! Mouth Ice Swap!!
  • Bond is onto you Davidov! He found your dead body! and now you are dead…thanks for all the hard work Davidov…more puns!
  • Where did bond get a photo of himself to use on that ID he stole?
  • “Are you here for a reason or are you just hoping for a glimmer?”
  • Dr. Christmas Jones….No Jokes or Puns!
  • “There’s no point living if you can’t feel alive…” Huh! That is what she said!
  • He is 63 years old.
  • He knew about his shoulder injury as well!
  • The bomb doesn’t move until I am satisfied…ahhh yeah.
  • How are we even yeah maniac?
  • Does Bond ever save the dude? He always saves the lady but never the dudes.
  • Bond now has a Nuke Bomb Card…explosive.
  • ohhh…Elektra bad!
  • Knew about my Shoulder…so on…and the mole on my balls.
  • Stockholm Syndrome….nope…she set the whole thing up chump.
  • You used me as bait…Just like M….Revenge will be mine.
  • No…I do not believe it…cause you are full of poop!
  • I need to drive a pipe scooter…weeee
  • It doesn’t take a degree in physics…but apparently it does.
  • Trust me…..uh….how fast were they going.
  • She always trying to kill Bond.
  • Like a slap from M.
  • Half Plutonium.
  • Robinson…Out.
  • Go on..it’s safe…touch your destiny!! I brought something for you as well…touch your destiny!
  • I am going to destroy this city!
  • Just give her all the details! Noon
  • So beautiful, smooth and warm…how would you know ya dead inside freak!
  • I wonder if he feels himself pooping his pants
  • She is a pleasure surrogate. “Remember Pleasure?” No ya weird ice fetish lady!
  • Well they just have little birds everywhere!
  • What is that sawing sound? Oh…it’s a callback!
  • Never park the beamer in plain view…everybody knows who that cars belongs to.
  • King Copter
  • What! All that for the car and we just chop it up? One missile and done.
  • Trying to kill somebody with a saw attachment on a helicopter seems like a waste of time.
  • Gee. I wonder which lady will punch out Elektra?
  • That guy drives like Senator Kennedy. Too soon?
  • Zukovsky…insurance company is never going to believe this.
  • You gold encrusted Buffoon.
  • Family Motto!
  • That is some serious medieval chiropractor shit.
  • Nobody can resist me
  • One Last Screw…even in death…terrible puns.
  • It’s hard to kill a Zukovsky
  • Guns are solving all the low level problems.
  • Who starts diving before they batten down the hatches?
  • Oh no!! he shot the control panel.
  • Take that ya terrorist…bullet shaped rod to the gut!
  • You can meet her there
  • Gross…Christmas in Turkey. Noooo…Why the hell…
  • It picks up body heat…so humans come out orange.
  • It’s getting redder…abort…abort.

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Soldier (1998) Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Good morning…. or afternoon or whatever the crap time it is on this blustery trash planet.

Thank you for rescuing me and bringing me to your home made of human waste. I am a man of few words; A soldier. If you have questions, I have face tattoos to answer them.

But….yeah here comes the but….I’m in the next room laying in the pile of trash you call the “guest bed” recovering from my near death coma when I am awoken by the sound of what can best be described as a flesh trumpet. Explain before I kill you and your family.

A Zerbert War. I’m in. Point me to these Zerberts and I will destroy them all. Sir, please remove your lips from my tummy. and that is how Todd learned to stop warring and to start loving.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120157/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soldier_(1998_American_film)

TWITTER

Soldier (1998) – “My daddy was in maintenance and he used to say if it ain’t broke don’t fix it ….and something about nipples on a man…I don’t know…he was really hard to understand…. he had a lot of teeth.”

SHOW NOTES

  • Computers sure were noisy back in 1998. Flup flup flup…print
  • 1996 – Year Zero.
  • Meanwhile down at the Crybaby Bank.
  • A1 Sauce! 1A
  • Year 5 of Adam Project.
  • Weakness is death…and that boar is yummy!
  • ‘Don’t look away Todd! Look a the doberman pincher boar meat
  • Year 8! Solve a puzzle.
  • Love this music!
  • Year Twelve….run a little
  • Oh slow kid…you are so dead.
  • That kid really looks like Kurt Russell.Run Slow..Die Fast.
  • Year 16 or 18? Shoot ’em all
  • 2013 Year 17. Training is over…time to get the face tat
  • Year 38….time to have a War of Six Cities…5 Cities
  • The Moscow Incident…it was snowy.
  • 2036…Year 40…to space! I feel like we missed a few things.
  • Present Status: Between Wars…in the middle of a centipede massage.
  • Our soldiers are more hairless than yours…except my mustache.
  • Manufactured Soldiers.
  • “My daddy was in maintenance…if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.”
  • Shoot the ball son. 99%…that is very good…but not 100%
  • What a weird gym for manufactured soldiers.
  • My man left 20 minutes after yours…make a note chump.
  • C’mon old man!
  • The mind controls the body after all…and we do such wonderful things with the mind.
  • Send him up the chain rope!
  • What about spirit…stamina…
  • Chain fight!
  • No fair biting!
  • Do you know how much it cost to train you, feed you moron.
  • “Todd was our best man.”
  • A training accident…oops..dump these bodies far from here!
  • P376 Waste Disposal Ship
  • Seems like a lot of trouble when burning would be cheaper.
  • Arcadia 234 Waste Disposal Planet
  • Guess I live on Acadia 234 now. A real shit show. Hey people!
  • Storm!
  • Children of Arcadia
  • Hang on Jimmy’s back!
  • You keep an eye on him Mac!
  • oh…cds!
  • War tats
  • Send your most attractive woman to take care of the handsome stranger….
  • Shanghai 2012
  • Todd has never seen a double decker zerbert before. I must kill you all!
  • I made you something! It looks like a weapon…but it is to help you walk…see
  • Time to eat like you are ravenous. Ok…in this scene I need you to eat like you haven’t seen food in a year.
  • Uh oh…them are fighting words. Don’t call me a deserter.
  • He has lost his memory. Oh he does remember…he was replaced. By a better soldier sir.
  • Now how you feel?
  • They left Earth 12 years ago…when they crashed their ship.
  • Trinity Moons…
  • oh hi nipples.
  • Foreshadow…who would like to fight for a god forsaken place like this.
  • Have you seen my tiny mustache!
  • Time for our bi annual security sweep of the Arcadia … and we haven’t found anything in 12 years…but who knows!
  • The kids can’t speak because he got bit by a snake and was sick for a long time.
  • Use that Call Box!
  • I guess Arcadia used to be inhabited.
  • Uh oh…Jimmy chose the wrong day to be in front of a body mower on a windy day.
  • Oh man…that planet is out to kill them…wind only blew as long as it thought it was going to eat Jimmy…once that was off the table…no more wind.
  • Todd POS
  • They are dumpers…come every 20 or 30 days…we are unsure…cause we have only been here for 12 years
  • Musical Lust Montage.
  • Oh he knows…he knows
  • Carrot…Carrot…finger…Blood Carrot
  • Fear and Discipline….always….Free Hugs
  • Scary Space Santa
  • He is doing exercises….AKA punching a thing repeatedly
  • Flashback…and another Flashback.
  • Remember that time we killed people….good times.
  • Never interrupt me when I am hitting a thing.
  • I’m pretty tired…I think I will go home with my bloody fists
  • Kill the snake. Smash it with the boot!
  • Sorry Soldier…move along. You too scary for us…the Trash Owners Association board voted you out.
  • Take this scarf and go!
  • He crying! Stupid tears! Punch the tears
  • I live in a fuselage now! It is warm but full of tears.
  • This place is made up of green trash snakes…
  • Don’t worry daddy…I like to watch you and mommy sleep…I booted the snake real good
  • We all voted….wrong!
  • What…was Todd out there like one night…
  • Get your hands down fool.
  • Know what we haven’t done in a while? Ran a security sweep on planet trash.
  • This story is flimsy as hell.
  • We must not allow trespassers to steal our trash!!
  • You got no leg…no problem…I’ll drag you around stumpy
  • You done killed my best good friend…now I am going to punch you like a gas tank
  • Sir…how should I kill this one lady…well…with a rocket of course.
  • You don’t get a gun…and you don’t have to salute anymore…you are in charge of setting up the directv.
  • You brought a flamethrower to a rocket launcher fight..
  • Unit 703 growl.
  • My daddy always said…when you want to put a nail into a piece of wood. Pound it.
  • Nathan…your daddy is ded
  • 17 more! Body count!
  • Soldiers deserve Soldiers Sir.
  • Those new soldiers are hairless except for pit hair. What is your purpose!
  • Say hello to my snake pit. Do the new soldiers scream? the old soldiers did not
  • Welcome to my swimming pool of death. It is fireproof
  • Seems a little short sighted not to think of the weather.
  • Maybe you should have made them smarter instead of fast
  • Old 1 eye is pretty good at pushing buttons and flipping switches
  • You can’t just blow up a trash planet!
  • Shoot up some drugs and get up…We loved the rain fights in the 80s and 90s
  • Surely this depth perception will come into play.
  • I see it…do you see it…just kidding…..Helicopter blade to the gut…and double punch.
  • Finally got to crack his neck…
  • Fiery fire in the rain!
  • Ronnie’s not back…Fuck ’em…let’s go.
  • No! Not Busey!
  • Kill the Nazi like guy…he pee pee himself.
  • 67 or 76..it was 67…sortest dream code ever.
  • Instant families. Soldiers, Widows and kids.
  • Trinity Moons! Let us go!
  • From salutes to hold me’s
  • We have a new mission sir.

Categories
Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Battle Beyond The Stars (1980) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Greetings organic forms of planet space farm. You may have noticed my space ship that now blocks your sun and is hovering over you as I speak.I am possession of a Stellar Converter..now I know most of you rubes have no idea what that is….let’s just say it turns your planet to fire…fire bad!

Band of merry mutants

Beebopping through the galaxy. Oh good you guys are all in the common area. Snipers

Now I hadn’t planned on stopping by your crappy little planet but it caught my eye as I was flying by. We scanned ya and we found you have nothing but Shelter, Food and Face Moles…and I was thinking to myself…I could use at least 2 of those 3 things. So here we are.

Now I don’t have time to kill you now…so lets say 7 risings and I’ll be back. So don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right back

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080421/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_Beyond_the_Stars

TWITTER

Battle Beyond The Stars (1980) – Like

SHOW NOTES

  • Rings of light
  • and into the space vagina we go!
  • Battle Beyond….The….STARS…wait…if you have gone beyond the stars you have gone too far…bring it back!
  • Battle of the Stars Wars
  • Corman/Horner
  • This is for sure an amalgamation of Star Trek, Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica
  • A planet of stone with a single green spot
  • They have one weather satellite (ship)
  • Planet Akir?
  • Technology that destroys and cleans up after itself.
  • They have Solar Technology.
  • Good thing we were all hanging out in the common area when the giant sky filling ship shows up.
  • Greetings Solar
  • I possess a stellar converter…if you didn’t know…it is the most powerful weapon.
  • 7 risings of your red giant.
  • Accept me as your master.
  • Snipers forward…let us show them we are serious.
  • I will return in 7 risings…you are mine.
  • I have a promise to keep…but always time to stop by and terrorize some space farmers.
  • ….and you are an old man.
  • to fight creatures of violence….you must use creatures or violence.
  • …you….you are a boy.
  • Each form has its function.
  • Zed is blind and owns a piece of junk ship.
  • The boy did not seem terribly concerned with the death of his friend
  • If we don’t make it…nobody else will
  • Fly you stupid Nell the Space Ship Snail
  • Nell is a Snail
  • I’m your home now kid.
  • What is up with your face bad guys?
  • Remember Lobo…Sador is wearing is left foot. I want to see him wear a foot!
  • My job is to find Mercenaries! and Weapons. Off to see the best weapons dealer in the universe. Doctor!
  • Bundle of wires
  • 8-Track Android
  • Cool…a scooty seat…no!! it has me in its grips…choke choke.
  • Wait a minute…I’m not an android…
  • Lady Space Welder
  • haha…we are here…we are the place where we picked you up to ride in the chair
  • Hello…welcome to my lair…here are my insides….lets talk.
  • When you are in my station you are in my presence.
  • Android Smurfs
  • Forms must prey on other forms to survive.
  • You’ve met my daughter…would you like to breed her….she is ready for the breeding.
  • Don’t you have enough toys.
  • Prepare the conjugal suite
  • Thanks Handy Smurf (Saunders)
  • Chlorophyll content…whatever…
  • it’s bigger…it’s wind
  • There is a form in the dark void…no munities until they are 5…
  • It is horrible out there…forms sucking forms.
  • The breaking out ceremony!
  • Come with us…you know about computers!
  • We didn’t get the weapons…but we did get his daughter…she knows about computers!
  • No weapons at all…but I got an analyzer!
  • They have replied to our ultimatum..it is our emissary…they powered him.
  • Proud form! They will be an extinct one…nothing left…not even dust.
  • This is space cowboy…SOS…heeelp
  • The Barta? Bible?
  • Take life to save life.
  • No…not from behind…
  • Nell broke her primary programming!!! She must self destruct
  • Space is a sweaty place.
  • Poor planet Umatil and it dust ray.
  • Don’t like it…I’ll turn your planet into a star.
  • Mac Laser 4…We are going to need weapons…but we won’t know how to use them.
  • I’m a salesman…not a teacher kid!
  • My Rig is a Hauler…not a fighter.
  • Cowboy is obviously an earthling.
  • Noooo…not the chromatic space lights! Not to worry…we will blast it.
  • You are about to be eaten
  • Kelvins communicate by heat.
  • Sador lives…and you are fighting him…well why didn’t you say so protein form.
  • The Varda…What would the Varda say
  • ok…what’s the big idea…ya bunch of space freaks.
  • not the betraying limbs!
  • Third Eye Whites
  • Nestor always carries a spare.
  • Nestor’s greatest threat is bored to death.
  • Beam her up Kalo!
  • Tis a pleasure planet! In the darkest areas…
  • Zombie Sex Worker…out of date.
  • There is nothing left but me and the lower forms. The locals cleaned out the den of ill repute
  • I settle disputes very quickly. He is an assassin!
  • Food and Shelter is all we can offer…all we have is culture.
  • The richest mercenary…but at a cost…I am wanted and have no security. A meal and a place to hide. Stolen wealth and no where to spend it.
  • mmmm…pineapple space drink.
  • Valkeries!
  • Ha! anti smoking message right here in space
  • My name is Gelt. I was born in space.
  • 7 ships…
  • She was a hero….she slowed down the snitches and they all died.
  • Play your crystal Xylophone and create the trenches of death!
  • I have a scotch and soda belt.
  • Tingle Dingle Dangle his transistors.
  • Rear Guard 1 is dead dead dead
  • I have an army of genetic mistakes.
  • Only 2 sexes!!
  • Show me the Ropes…aka the sex
  • Does your species have kissing.
  • What is that that you are eating…it is a hotdog…
  • Gelt is like…GG
  • Pull out the sonic tanker.
  • Bloody ears!
  • The Kelvin have no ears…surprise space mother truckers…it is about to get hot in here.
  • Quick…get them to the protein Tanks!
  • Zed will give you the old blind man beating of your life.
  • Nell and Zed are linked. Zed is dead.
  • Not Gelt!!
  • They sent the spare…Do you have a high tolerance to pain…almost none. It is good to have skills.
  • Nestor arm…but it is connected to the Nestor…They are pretty good at arm control
  • Nestor is hit…repeat…Nestor is hit!
  • He is bringing out the Stellar converter.
  • Sybil said..eeeeek….Time to self destruct.
  • Retreat behind the sun.
  • Quasimodo controller
  • 10 nukes for the space cowboy. about 30 seconds to impact…time to play some harmonica. “He didn’t want to fight…but he came anyway.”
  • Hahaha….love Lizard mans battle cry.
  • First law of Barta…Wait you said you couldn’t blow up the nukes earlier.
  • Oh Shad…
  • Nell’s memory banks are done.
  • Old Corsair Nell.
  • Akir is mine…let us laugh…
  • To use greater force against itself…that is the first law of Barta?
  • Nell can’t count down.
  • Sador just wanted to live forever..sheesh
  • They are not dead…they are a part of us!