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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

The Invasion (2007) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

This week on… “Wait Is that Daniel Craig? Cause he looks a lot like Daniel Craig. Hmmm, does Daniel Craig have a brother?  Is there a Danny Craig…..maybe a Donny Craig? Hold up…..that is Daniel Craig!?”….

uh oh, I think I  just missed 15 minutes of the movie lost in some kind of Daniel Craig Brother Doppelganger mind loop… and for that brief moment… the world was just a little bit better for the possibility of two Craigs.

Twist ending he has a brother! Twisted Sister Ending he also has a sister. The Craigs….more interesting than this movie.

 

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Film Sack Filmsack Notes

Piranha (2010) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

oh hi,

Filmsackers get out of the water! NO! What are you doing! I said get OUT of the water not cannon ball right on in!

NO! There are bad movies and detachable penises down there! Fly, you fools! before it is too late!

Uh oh. There it is…now comes the screaming and flailing about. No no Filmsackers…hop back in. Enjoy the water. The nice crap filled water and sleazy O’connel junk.

Oh…boobs. I saw boobs!

Motorboat! Motorboat! Motorboat!

Oh hi Mom?

LINKS

Piranha 3D (2010)

Directed by Alexandre Aja. With Elisabeth Shue, Jerry O’Connell, Richard Dreyfuss, Ving Rhames. After a sudden underwater tremor sets free scores of the prehistoric man-eating fish, an unlikely group of strangers must band together to stop themselves from becoming fish food for the area’s new razor-toothed residents.

Piranha 3D – Wikipedia

Piranha 3D is a 2010 American 3D horror comedy film that serves as a loose remake of the horror film (1978). It was directed by Alexandre Aja and has an ensemble cast featuring Elisabeth Shue, Adam Scott, Jerry O’Connell, Ving Rhames, Steven R.

TWITTER

Piranha (2010) – Like writing “Kiss My Ass” on your Ass. What? You just put  a hat on a hat or in this case an AssHat on an AssHat. #LakeTittyChocha.

SHOW NOTES

Dimension Films! We have seen these fellas before

Mesolithic Era Dig Site!

It has seen better days.

The Eagle scream…it’s means things are abandoned!

Who me? Just fishing and drinking and listening to a radio station that hasn’t been on-air in 50 years.

Hey! Dreyfus! Durn…I have to take this movie serious!

haha. Amityville Beer…like the town from Jaws.

Uh oh. Looks like you done broke the lake. Oh cool…this is how whirlpools are made in Lakes…I saw a show about this recently. a salt mine under a lake.

Animal behavior…I always question it in horror movies. Is this how animals behave?

I sure hope Drefus snacking was better in 3d…cause that feeding looked pretty lame…what are these 2010 era graphics. Danger…2010 Era Graphics…Watch at your own risk.

It’s The Wave!! 96.9

Lake Party…Spring breaking.

“Take me in the bathroom” song…that may be the grossest.

“Sandrats!”

Who me? Just Vespa’ing down the strand.

Pretty good bit of A-Listers in this film so far.

Don’t think you have to write Kiss My Ass on your ass when you are showing your asses…Hat on a Hat. AssHat on a AssHat.

Kelly is out of your league…friend zoned…I like your dick boyfriend.

Asswipe. 2010

Jake is 17…and he likes boobs.

“We don’t need sunscreen…” Words of a man who is about to get a sunburn.

Overly aggressive tourist.

“Why even bother knocking when you are just gonna walk in?” Jake

Girls gone mild…get off my computer.

Jakie’s mom…. has got it going on.

Pixies…Radiohead…and a giant VCR/DVD combo in 2010…not buying it. Is this supposed to be set in an earlier time?

Lake Victoria

Dreyfus character is named Matt.

20k kids are spring breaking according to Sheriff Mom 4 star

Holy Balls…get out of the water Jules!

Them Crawfish…

Wow…this is following Jaws formula pretty closely…nah…not really…but some parts are.

Lake diving by yourself? Dummy…you are lucky you got ate.

Ving is getting too old for this shit.

“……You mean Spring Break Boobies.”

Ving has some tough rules. 1 Piece of trash drop requires 10 pieces pickup.

Cowboy country….we are in Cowboy country.

remember MTV Spring Break videos.

sleazy Jerry O’Connell is the best.

Motorboat! Motorboat! Now RowBoat RowBoat! Now PaddleBoat PaddleBoat.

I say Tit. You Say E’s. I say Shit. You say E’s.

Matt is now a location scout.

Kelly is like…see ya. oh…Kelly don’t play no back stage passes…no boyfriend.

wild wild girls online

This music. I don’t remember any of these songs…but they do feel very 2010.

Boat Captain got a gap no girl can compete with.

That was a damn cool shot of that anchor dropping in the water…Was that CGI? That was way better than this movie deserves.

Kelly is not even legal?

Haha…naked ladies swimming underwater like dolphins. Naked except for these flippers. What a weird ass scene. Fish with Boobies.  Goddess Aquatic Bitches.

So uncomfortable… stop talking to the mom while looking at boobs.

arse on the glass? Chocha?

haha…Jerry just told the girls to go breath…which is great cause they have been underwater for like 5 minutes.

Kelley is gone!

Piranha…they do swim in schools.

Why can’t I ever spell Piranha. Pi-Ran-Ha

This is actually the most dangerous play to encounter Piranha…on the coastline…in shallow water.

Oh…we got Piranha vision. He must be a scout.

A lake under a lake.

Sublake…full of Meso fish beasts! Just like my basement. DON’T GO INTO THE SCARY BASEMENT!

Back issues of Jugs.  oh Adam Scott is not my favorite

Descending fissure.

Underwater paleontologist pillow talk is no good.

30 degrees cooler in the sublake.

It’s Little Baby Dinosaurs! Meso era.

Was the lake frozen until more recently? is that what we are implying? Cause if not…what they been eating? Is this due to global warming or volcanic activity.

Man…this is some good underwater filming.

Don’t you have to push a mic button to broadcast audible screams.

Oh…what you pulled out of the water is not living.

“Gratitude is the right attitude.”

Do it…Do it!

Dang it Jake.

Crystal is a lake plate.

Belly shots…2010…sucking it out of belly buttons….is that grossy to Scott.

Nice Vomit shot.

What! You have Christopher Lloyd at your employ and you wait until 45 minutes in before you play that hand!

Pi-Ran-Ha aren’t pissed…they are PiRanHa

Vanished 2 million years ago!

Why do I have a feeling that there have been 3 more Piranha movies all featuring Christopher Lloyd as the only returning cast member.

Cannibals…they survived as cannibals. Vicious.

Piranha hunt in packs…do they do hunt in packs.

1000s?

Drain the lake!

They should rename this Lake Titty Chocha.

man…i always wanted one of them Canon XL2 video cameras…looked so sweet. mini-dv

Your mom is the Sheriff?!

haha…got to love all the half bodies pulled out of the lake.

Are you ready for some Ti-Ti-es… The Hills.

Sleezy Eli Roth is a curious thing…not sure I like it.

Somebody get me a list of Eli Roth boob-isms.

“Read the Bible”

I would let all them morons cannonball and profit.

“This is the exact opposite of what I need you to do.” Deputy Rhames

Zane is a jerk.

That is some high quality H20 they got in that boat.

Cool…I didn’t put the clear bottom boat device until now.

Angel…gap in teeth and nose goo.

it’s a boat word…Mutiny

oh…man…tube death by ass biting is the worst.

Oh…now you listen…no…stay in the water…no…go ahead…stay in the water.

oh no…gee….do you mean to tell me the morons swimming out of the water are going to screw themselves over on the barge.

great..body bifurcation due to cable slicing.

How many you gonna save Adam Scott? You bad ass lake paleontologist.

Hmmm…not sure I understand tasers enough to know if that taser in water scene is valid.

haha…bad boyfriend is bad. haha…so bad that he is still trying to crank the boat while girl is stuck in propeller.

oh man…that went from bad to worse with the boat.

Jerry is Piranha repellent. nope…they just prefer blonds.

Gross…Piranha puke.

haha…the 3d boat ore.

Derrick has seen better days. “They took my penis!”

I get it…they won’t eat the fake boobs…ok…gross…a detached penis.

so much mutilation…

skeletonized is gross.

Rhames totally ripped that boat motor out and did the thing.

A little less nudity and fewer sex jokes would have saved this movie.

Worse plan ever….You are just dangling chum.

Kelly is calling for you Jake. I bet she wished she was your boyfriend.

hey lady…pole dancing is not going to saw you here on the tight rope.

ouch…go fools. Faster! GO GO GO! You know a movie is good when you are yelling at the screen.

uh oh…Thought he was dead. nope…Wet T-Shirt.

They already ate the best part of O’Connell…at least according to him.

i can’t yell “Go” loud enough.

Stop asking questions Kelly…You aren’t my girlfriend.

ok…kissing…

You better hope everyone can count. haha…why not have boat running…boats are not reliable starters.

Blowing up the boat seems a bit excessive. oh..ok…guess it was the deal.

The Babies!

Oh man…classic Adam Scott!

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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts Thoughts

Suburban Commando (1991) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Welcome to our little suburban crime ridden… and social justice warrior nightmare…of a neighborhood where you will find puppies in hot cars, unfair vending machines that steal your money, irresponsible car owners, delinquent kids and crazy shop owners who are easily spooked and are quick to broom waving and shouting nonsense.

Hell, even our street performers are endangered. Yep it’s Hard Times for our Late Night Mimes….can someone please think of the mimes!

Yep, if I have learned anything from this movie…and I haven’t…it’s that sometimes you have to lose to win. Well I lost…where is my win?

WHERE IS MY WIN SCOTT! WHERE!

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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Full Metal Jacket (1987) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Movie Sergeant Dunaway here, your Senior
Sack Instructor. From now on, you will speak
only when spoken to, and the first and last
words out of your filthy mouth holes will be “Huh!”

Do you basic grubs understand that?

(Huh) Exactly.

Also, I can’t hear you. Sound off like you watched this weeks movie and enjoyed it.

Johnson, your new name is Grossman. Cause you think stuff’s gross. Good job.

Ibbott, I’m gonna call you Boris …cause you do a really funny Russian accent and also  because you are a little squirrelly. Like moose and squirrel. Say the thing!

Jordan, you will now answer to  Dicks…because that one time you made me laugh when you said something about a bag of dicks.

Now choke yourself. That’s it….ahhhh yeah.

Dicks, tell us about your job this week.

 

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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Tremors 5: Bloodlines (2015) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

“Local South African dance choreographer and ass blaster impersonator Chance Naidoo here.

Please step back white people. I am about to blow your collective minds as I light my ass on fire and rocket skyward as if….well… as if my ass were on fire. Be envious as I do those really sweet vertical leaps using only my crazy strong calf muscles…yes…just like in National Geographic.

Uh oh. Things have gone horribly wrong! It appears instead of lighting the fuse to my home made phosphorus device… which I have stuck in my bum… I have mistakenly lit my penis on fire. Which I sometimes refer to as my “Graboid.” Damn these authentic South African Tribal Dance Attire and their crotchless fashion sense.”

Said no South African ever. Always be running.

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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Dearest Del Toro. Please don’t start weaving me a story about a one armed Elf King and not reveal what happened to that freaking arm!

I mean, was he born that way? Did the humans take it to fill their empty heart holes? Did he lose it in a cookie baking competition up on Keebler hill? C’mon man, I need details!

You can’t just drop a bomb like “one armed elf” and run away laughing maniacally. Hold on…was that it…did he lose it in some mythical high school prank gone wrong. Perhaps he cooked that cherry-bomb too long before tossing it into the toilet? BTW, I heard that is how Randy lost 40% of his hearing in his right ear.

Anywho, just need closure on that arm thing man.

Yours Truly,

Both Arms Brian