Oh Hi, This week’s film may hit a little too close to home. What with us on the verge of Cold War II but I’ll try to get through this with little to no seizures or joy…
Speaking of getting hit. What does it take to get punched in this movie?
Take Eastwood’s cigar. Death by face beating.
Play pocket pool while fondling Eastwood’s papers….Face punching to the death.
Russian pilot flipping on a light switch. That’s a face beating with a side of “hold the death.”
“Your papers are not in order.”
Video Game: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firefox_(video_game)
Firefox (1982) – Like acting & directing your own 21 Million dollar project & blowing the entire budget on “not so special” effects & bad borscht
Simple title card. Firefox…left…serif
all the material that was ever made for gray sweatpants was made in 1975 or should I say it was discovered in some cave in South America.
Sweatpant Suit…only accessory…white towel…shoved into collar
Suddenly a Hairy (Harry) Eastwood appears
Trope: The ole reclusive military/special/govt agent who has removed himself from battle is located by army helicopter.
Them running shoes is loud. Like somebody on a sound stage
Run forrest! Run! Through the Forrest.
Blow up the bridge!
Are those refuel rods in the front of those copters? They always make me think of some kind of insect sucker.
Time for some Napalm flashbacks!
His memories are grainy at best.
He was pretty old for a pilot in Nam right?
So his entire flashback was the time he got shot down and almost carried away and almost killed that poor kid…or did they napalm their rescue?
His POW Files. He was carried across a river in a bamboo cage.
Know what is a bad idea? Surprising a dude who is having flashbacks.
What a couple of pilot jerks…let up your shades
Now we will have a British guy explain what is going on.
A Mach (mack) 5
at 0400 hours on Thursday…
wait…it’s an invisible jet with weapons driven by the mind.
We need you major…to come back
POW…Mother is Russia(n)…and fits the suit and has seizures (freezes up)
We got 3 months to train you.
Fly a plane like the devil himself.
“You are stupid Buckles.”
You will be flying the most advanced war-craft in existence…as soon as you steal it.
“Look at that face. He has 5 pounds of heroin in it?”
Desperate times call for desperate plans.
Your Suite Will Be Bugged. You are transporting heroin.
KGB is slow to awaken…but if you wake it up…bam!
Fake mustache grooming is the only grooming i do.
Here you go American Bond…this is your radio…don’t lose it…You afraid of being captured? Here…let me tell you a story of despair and desperation.
Gee…I wonder if the black box will come into play…since we just blew it off…then made it super important.
Nice glasses…did you beat up an old lady for those?
That was tense! They even took his radio apart! Wonder if he has a face full of Heroin.
Moscow Hotel…the only hotel in Moscow. Mockba Hotel…You don’t stay at Moscow Hotel. Moscow Hotel stays at you.
Loudest watch in all of Russia
There is always a Dmitri and Victor in Russia.
This guy has a big forehead
Russians do like their street cleaning machines….at least according to movies from the 80s based on the subject.
Back alley cat in Russia is back alley cat in Russia
Trope: Silly couple walking in the dark. They are always interrupting my Cloak and Daggers.
I didn’t realize vaping was so popular during the 80s
“Never smoke another man’s cigar….get beat with a stick.
A quick sprint and wardrobe change later…and you are staying at the Waldorf
No…No…I got the squirts. No…
“Your Papers are not in order.”
Also, don’t touch Eastwood’s Papers….or get beat with a stick.
Nocturnal Sight Seeing Of Our City
They got KGB for everyone!
“Do you know how to use this? Good…don ‘t use it.”
The KGB is mighty polite
Moscow is curious.
Don’t insult me with your words! Now get out!
Apparently, you can’t beat it out of him. Unless you mean the life. “I didn’t kill him…you pressed me!” Maybe he is dead
That computer was pretty quick on the photo comparison.
We are going to use fire to destroy the Firefox.
Things have gone wrong. So our plan has changed from steal the Firefox to steal the backup Firefox.
“Big ears” are listening
ha! You must think in Russian!
Walk like an American! Talk like an American! Think like a Russian.
Don’t touch Eastwood’s light switch….that’s a beating and slapping….ahhh helll..just a beating
Where did I see him?
Trope: Search parameters. Search every obscure location.
I completed the work 2 hours ago…I’ve just been stalling (Stalin)
Who me? In the pilot suit? nothing.
He’s not going to make it…he made it
Perfect timing…not only did you lose the top secret jet. Your have a high level audience.
Dying in a hanger next to your dead wife…gets to see the American save the day
Dying on a hillside….gets to see the American save the day.
Supposed to be saving fuel…decides to “open it up”
Glad they established the “Black Box” to explain why he is explaining everything while flying…cause he can’t talk to ground control.
Contact Mother 1.
This is his second time seeing “what this baby can do.”
He tired them rockets out. They were like…nope…quiting.
CCCP orange is the new Russian
He’s coming in an awful hurry. He must really know what he is doing…OR HE’S A MORON!
Commence operation “Harmless”
The Russian’s are falling apart. Press Secretary PR nightmare is interfering
Orange balloons! Who’s having the party?
Cliffy…can you steam me a runway?
What you doing? I can’t talk to them. I’m out taking temperature readings or something.
You must think in Russian. Use the force Clint.
FireFox Russian Prime sooked.
A Russian Screaming aaaand roll credits.
Let’s see what these credits can do.
Music was weird