Oh hi, and welcome to the Elder God Sanctum. We trust that you enjoyed your trip here in your ball. We totally don’t think of you as hamsters.
Now, before we get started, there are a few rules:
Firstly, You get 3 questions per visit. That means you can ask 3 questions while you are here and any follow-up questions will need to be addressed in a subsequent visit.
Please be aware there is a cool down period for each visit. In other words you can’t just come in here and drop 3 questions, leave and come right back with 3 more questions.
Ain’t gonna happen.
Also, all disputes are handled through Mortal Kombat. So, like if your brother wants chicken for dinner but you want Pizza. Well, you got a Mortal Kombat on your hands.
Our reasoning is this: If you are dead… then you aren’t going to care about what’s for dinner. If your brother is eating chicken and you are dead…you are going to be like….whatever…I’m dead.
Now before you get upset and call us “unfair.” Us elder gods have rules as well.
Like, if you piss off 2 or more elder gods then we fold you up like a cheap dishrag and shove you up the butt of Motaro.
So, go ahead…ask your 3 questions and get back in your Habi-trail ball…err…transport ball…so we can get back to watching Scrubs.
MK: Annihilation (1997) – Like a really BAD interpretation of a really FUN video game. No wait…it’s not LIKE that…it IS that. Finish Me.
So far so good. Mortal Kombat Song…Good. Mortal Kombat Logo. good. 1st Film recap…good.
Bunch of monks in front of a green screen….not the worst thing that has ever happened.
Not sure if special effects bad…or trying to use stylized recreation of Mortal Kombat.
Mother has a dead tooth.
I have the power Khan.
This is Saturday morning TV Bad.
This is dumb as dirt…but is a pretty good representation of the video game.
“You hide behind a human?”
This is another one of them “The actors trusted that the scene they were filming was going to look good.”
You killed Cage! Ahhh hell nah! Pretty sure we are going to see a Zombie Cage.
Wonder if Khan failed out of Chiropractor School?
Mother is resurrected…that gives us hope for Luke Cage.
The Elder Gods do not know.
6 Days before Annihilation.
Rayden has no powers in out world.
We are the only hope and we must act as a team. So we got to get past our differences.
Did we mention the team thing?
We have harnessed the hot air to travel in our speed balls….
That is some Quake sounding electricity
I have no use for excuse!
We don’t walk…we flip or slide in Netherworld.
Oh wow…he knows our weakness. Do not underestimate the power of the human spirit! I got one of them!
The whole effects budget was spent on Katana’s Fan Blades…as it should be.
Sub Zero Wins!
That sure seems like a lot of effort to make a snow bridge when everybody has long jump skills.
Subzero and Scorpion is my favorite dynamic of all the characters…which ain’t saying much…but there it is.
Everybody knows Scorpion has the teleporting skill. You truly are a sucker if you didn’t see that coming.
Do we still say “Yeah. That is what I am talking about?”
Sonya Blade…crop top and shorts…great uniform
Why do droids need dreds? Dreds for Droids?
Jaxx has a lot of questions and answers about the word “What”
is Sonya a chemist?
Ahh…the old self destruct upon death sequence.
Got to give it to Sonya and Jaxx for actually jumping away from an explosion.
ha! 2nd tier boss repeats 1st tier boss “no mercy” phrase.
Hey…2nd tier boss…you are dispensing judgment that you were dismissed from.
What is my Animality?
Look here apache warrior (Night Wolf) ….I don’t need you. ok…I need you.
Dream state! Time for the drugs.
Should have taken the slow way..probably involved a peace pipe and smoking instead of the back of an axe.
Is he Reptilian? spoiler!
Hi Jade. Perhaps you should keep that animal skin on…it’s snowing out here. Now let’s get it on!
Jade…a woman scorned.
Should have taken the slow way.
I am a bit of a Asian Martial Arts snob. I only enjoy watching Asians fight in the martial arts.
Thank you for the spit fluid. By the way…I would way prefer spit from a mouthful of water over a mucus filled snot spit.
Who’s Johnny? Jaxx say…he ask in that special way…Who Johnny, Jaxx say.
Sai Cam! Hey! You ain’t Katana!
ha! Now we are mud wrestling? Aight. But I do kind of enjoy the tire break remix song.
You released my dragon!
As always…you are granted 3 questions with the gods. Followed up by 2 questions of our own.
Jaxx likes Jades legs.
Rayden thinks Jaxx is sexy as well.
What an annoying power…screaming to destory.
These bad guys laugh too much.
It’s a trap.
Bad guys who want others to bow at his feet.
I always enjoyed Baraka in the game…here…he looks like a troll.
Sheeva and Motaro were kind of disappointing in this movie.
Yo, Forget your gods.
Your dad is an elder god?
Sha-Khan is my brother!
No matter how stupid this movie gets….I still get excited when I hear them say something from the game…like “Finish Him”
Something to fight for!
Do they ever answer why they keep letting the good guys live? What we the benefit of letting them live?
This movie is a family affair. Mother’s against mother. Brother against Brother. Brother against Centaur.
If you are going to build a team. you have to have conflict between the characters in the team. Johnny Cage was good at that. But they killed him in the first 5 minutes. The same reason TMNT are always at odds. Because when they finally cast off conflict they are able to win.
haha…what the hell is Liu Kang?
This is perhaps the worstest CG in a movie from it’s time period
Shao-Kahn is portrayed as a buffoon through most of the movie. Not much of a finale.
Like folding up a god. it’s weird.
High Five Jax!
Fire and Water have restored Rayden? That’s 2 elements.