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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

The Invasion (2007) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

This week on… “Wait Is that Daniel Craig? Cause he looks a lot like Daniel Craig. Hmmm, does Daniel Craig have a brother?  Is there a Danny Craig…..maybe a Donny Craig? Hold up…..that is Daniel Craig!?”….

uh oh, I think I  just missed 15 minutes of the movie lost in some kind of Daniel Craig Brother Doppelganger mind loop… and for that brief moment… the world was just a little bit better for the possibility of two Craigs.

Twist ending he has a brother! Twisted Sister Ending he also has a sister. The Craigs….more interesting than this movie.

 

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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Hot Fuzz (2007) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

This week on Fuzz-sack It’s no accident  the Bad Boys of film review chase down a group of hooded figures from The Actors’ Guild of Great Britain. In fact it was quite inevitable that we would get around to this satirical parody that features many classically Sackable films;  Bad Boys II, Lethal Weapon, Die Hard and Point Break. We’ve sacked them all…and now this…

So sit back …grab those biscuits that you lifted from the local grocer and prepare yourself for some paperwork that looks a hell of a lot more exciting than it actually is.

Also, stealing biscuit is wrong. Yarb.

 

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Film Sack Filmsack Notes

Piranha (2010) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

oh hi,

Filmsackers get out of the water! NO! What are you doing! I said get OUT of the water not cannon ball right on in!

NO! There are bad movies and detachable penises down there! Fly, you fools! before it is too late!

Uh oh. There it is…now comes the screaming and flailing about. No no Filmsackers…hop back in. Enjoy the water. The nice crap filled water and sleazy O’connel junk.

Oh…boobs. I saw boobs!

Motorboat! Motorboat! Motorboat!

Oh hi Mom?

LINKS

Piranha 3D (2010)

Directed by Alexandre Aja. With Elisabeth Shue, Jerry O’Connell, Richard Dreyfuss, Ving Rhames. After a sudden underwater tremor sets free scores of the prehistoric man-eating fish, an unlikely group of strangers must band together to stop themselves from becoming fish food for the area’s new razor-toothed residents.

Piranha 3D – Wikipedia

Piranha 3D is a 2010 American 3D horror comedy film that serves as a loose remake of the horror film (1978). It was directed by Alexandre Aja and has an ensemble cast featuring Elisabeth Shue, Adam Scott, Jerry O’Connell, Ving Rhames, Steven R.

TWITTER

Piranha (2010) – Like writing “Kiss My Ass” on your Ass. What? You just put  a hat on a hat or in this case an AssHat on an AssHat. #LakeTittyChocha.

SHOW NOTES

Dimension Films! We have seen these fellas before

Mesolithic Era Dig Site!

It has seen better days.

The Eagle scream…it’s means things are abandoned!

Who me? Just fishing and drinking and listening to a radio station that hasn’t been on-air in 50 years.

Hey! Dreyfus! Durn…I have to take this movie serious!

haha. Amityville Beer…like the town from Jaws.

Uh oh. Looks like you done broke the lake. Oh cool…this is how whirlpools are made in Lakes…I saw a show about this recently. a salt mine under a lake.

Animal behavior…I always question it in horror movies. Is this how animals behave?

I sure hope Drefus snacking was better in 3d…cause that feeding looked pretty lame…what are these 2010 era graphics. Danger…2010 Era Graphics…Watch at your own risk.

It’s The Wave!! 96.9

Lake Party…Spring breaking.

“Take me in the bathroom” song…that may be the grossest.

“Sandrats!”

Who me? Just Vespa’ing down the strand.

Pretty good bit of A-Listers in this film so far.

Don’t think you have to write Kiss My Ass on your ass when you are showing your asses…Hat on a Hat. AssHat on a AssHat.

Kelly is out of your league…friend zoned…I like your dick boyfriend.

Asswipe. 2010

Jake is 17…and he likes boobs.

“We don’t need sunscreen…” Words of a man who is about to get a sunburn.

Overly aggressive tourist.

“Why even bother knocking when you are just gonna walk in?” Jake

Girls gone mild…get off my computer.

Jakie’s mom…. has got it going on.

Pixies…Radiohead…and a giant VCR/DVD combo in 2010…not buying it. Is this supposed to be set in an earlier time?

Lake Victoria

Dreyfus character is named Matt.

20k kids are spring breaking according to Sheriff Mom 4 star

Holy Balls…get out of the water Jules!

Them Crawfish…

Wow…this is following Jaws formula pretty closely…nah…not really…but some parts are.

Lake diving by yourself? Dummy…you are lucky you got ate.

Ving is getting too old for this shit.

“……You mean Spring Break Boobies.”

Ving has some tough rules. 1 Piece of trash drop requires 10 pieces pickup.

Cowboy country….we are in Cowboy country.

remember MTV Spring Break videos.

sleazy Jerry O’Connell is the best.

Motorboat! Motorboat! Now RowBoat RowBoat! Now PaddleBoat PaddleBoat.

I say Tit. You Say E’s. I say Shit. You say E’s.

Matt is now a location scout.

Kelly is like…see ya. oh…Kelly don’t play no back stage passes…no boyfriend.

wild wild girls online

This music. I don’t remember any of these songs…but they do feel very 2010.

Boat Captain got a gap no girl can compete with.

That was a damn cool shot of that anchor dropping in the water…Was that CGI? That was way better than this movie deserves.

Kelly is not even legal?

Haha…naked ladies swimming underwater like dolphins. Naked except for these flippers. What a weird ass scene. Fish with Boobies.  Goddess Aquatic Bitches.

So uncomfortable… stop talking to the mom while looking at boobs.

arse on the glass? Chocha?

haha…Jerry just told the girls to go breath…which is great cause they have been underwater for like 5 minutes.

Kelley is gone!

Piranha…they do swim in schools.

Why can’t I ever spell Piranha. Pi-Ran-Ha

This is actually the most dangerous play to encounter Piranha…on the coastline…in shallow water.

Oh…we got Piranha vision. He must be a scout.

A lake under a lake.

Sublake…full of Meso fish beasts! Just like my basement. DON’T GO INTO THE SCARY BASEMENT!

Back issues of Jugs.  oh Adam Scott is not my favorite

Descending fissure.

Underwater paleontologist pillow talk is no good.

30 degrees cooler in the sublake.

It’s Little Baby Dinosaurs! Meso era.

Was the lake frozen until more recently? is that what we are implying? Cause if not…what they been eating? Is this due to global warming or volcanic activity.

Man…this is some good underwater filming.

Don’t you have to push a mic button to broadcast audible screams.

Oh…what you pulled out of the water is not living.

“Gratitude is the right attitude.”

Do it…Do it!

Dang it Jake.

Crystal is a lake plate.

Belly shots…2010…sucking it out of belly buttons….is that grossy to Scott.

Nice Vomit shot.

What! You have Christopher Lloyd at your employ and you wait until 45 minutes in before you play that hand!

Pi-Ran-Ha aren’t pissed…they are PiRanHa

Vanished 2 million years ago!

Why do I have a feeling that there have been 3 more Piranha movies all featuring Christopher Lloyd as the only returning cast member.

Cannibals…they survived as cannibals. Vicious.

Piranha hunt in packs…do they do hunt in packs.

1000s?

Drain the lake!

They should rename this Lake Titty Chocha.

man…i always wanted one of them Canon XL2 video cameras…looked so sweet. mini-dv

Your mom is the Sheriff?!

haha…got to love all the half bodies pulled out of the lake.

Are you ready for some Ti-Ti-es… The Hills.

Sleezy Eli Roth is a curious thing…not sure I like it.

Somebody get me a list of Eli Roth boob-isms.

“Read the Bible”

I would let all them morons cannonball and profit.

“This is the exact opposite of what I need you to do.” Deputy Rhames

Zane is a jerk.

That is some high quality H20 they got in that boat.

Cool…I didn’t put the clear bottom boat device until now.

Angel…gap in teeth and nose goo.

it’s a boat word…Mutiny

oh…man…tube death by ass biting is the worst.

Oh…now you listen…no…stay in the water…no…go ahead…stay in the water.

oh no…gee….do you mean to tell me the morons swimming out of the water are going to screw themselves over on the barge.

great..body bifurcation due to cable slicing.

How many you gonna save Adam Scott? You bad ass lake paleontologist.

Hmmm…not sure I understand tasers enough to know if that taser in water scene is valid.

haha…bad boyfriend is bad. haha…so bad that he is still trying to crank the boat while girl is stuck in propeller.

oh man…that went from bad to worse with the boat.

Jerry is Piranha repellent. nope…they just prefer blonds.

Gross…Piranha puke.

haha…the 3d boat ore.

Derrick has seen better days. “They took my penis!”

I get it…they won’t eat the fake boobs…ok…gross…a detached penis.

so much mutilation…

skeletonized is gross.

Rhames totally ripped that boat motor out and did the thing.

A little less nudity and fewer sex jokes would have saved this movie.

Worse plan ever….You are just dangling chum.

Kelly is calling for you Jake. I bet she wished she was your boyfriend.

hey lady…pole dancing is not going to saw you here on the tight rope.

ouch…go fools. Faster! GO GO GO! You know a movie is good when you are yelling at the screen.

uh oh…Thought he was dead. nope…Wet T-Shirt.

They already ate the best part of O’Connell…at least according to him.

i can’t yell “Go” loud enough.

Stop asking questions Kelly…You aren’t my girlfriend.

ok…kissing…

You better hope everyone can count. haha…why not have boat running…boats are not reliable starters.

Blowing up the boat seems a bit excessive. oh..ok…guess it was the deal.

The Babies!

Oh man…classic Adam Scott!

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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

V for Vendetta (2005) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

This week on F for Filmsack we tackle The Wa-chow-skis’ 2005 foreign film B for Bollocks.

Fine… it was V for Vendetta. A film, to the best of my understanding, about the letter V.

I mean not since that infamous episode of Sesame Street where Cookie Monster smoked a J and confused Ernie for a life sized Milano have I seen such overbaked ideas expressed on screen.

“Oh Sweet hairy topped cookie…nom nom nom” – Cookie Monster

“Hey Bert. A little help…*snicker*” – Ernie

Yep just a Big Ole Bag of Bollocks.

I now yield my remaining time to Randy.

 

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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts Thoughts

Queen of the Damned (2002) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Look, I’m just going to vamp out loud for a minute…vamp out loud…vamp’ing… alright, let’s see If I can understand this film..warning. I’m gonna use some air quotes.

“Eternal Vampire Teen;” LeStat is awakened from his “Sad Nap” when the suburban kids next door start a nu-metal band to piss off their parents. LeStat “tries out” for the band and lands “lead vocals.” Ow. Finger cramps.

LeStat finds some success as a rocker and “Taylor Swifts” (ow) his Vampire Family. (Now that’s a shaming!)

Meanwhile, “Grown ass” teenager, Jesse rebels against her strict orthodox parents by pursuing Bad Boy LeStat after she reads LeStat’s personal diary outlining his failures in love including a cringe worthy moment with his Egyptian Grandma and his subsequent loneliness. Jesse is all like… “I’m lonely too! You get me LeStat! Let’s run away together and live happily ever after!”

At this point I took my own “Sad Nap” and when I woke up Great Great Grandma Vampire was turning to dust which is what happens when you sleep with your Grandkids.

So I thought the movie was over…but apparently, LeStat still had to confront his girlfriend’s father figure to confess he gave Jesse VD. “Vampire Disease.”

But even that wasn’t the end because Lestat still wanted to make up for his misdeeds by delivering Jesse’s dad a Vampire “Life Partner”… who David had apparently been stalking through “Instagram” like painting which weren’t even a thing in 2002 so this whole theory is kind of falling apart at this point. Randy!

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Film Sack Filmsack Notes Podcasts

Speed Racer (2008) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

First Name Speed…Last Name Racer.

…and now it’s time for “What you talkin’ about Theme Song?”

Where I will do my best to present talking points and avoid singing along the way.

Here he comes,  Here comes Speed Racer.

Hey, thanks for the heads up song writer. That’s not ominous at all.

He’s a demon on wheels, He’s a demon and he’s gonna be chasin’ after someone.

Let’s break that down. A “Demon on wheels;” Well, that is a thing we say about people who are driven.

However, the second mention of demon is not qualified with any sort of type. Which leads me to believe that this song is implying that Speed Racer is an actual demon. Well that changes things.

Oh what did you do Papa Racer!?

He’s gainin’ on you so you better look alive.

Holy crap.  The “chasin’ someone” is now no longer in question. It’s “you” who the demon racer is chasing!

Oh man!

Also, there are rumors circulating that Speed Racer lures little kids and monkey’s with Candy into the trunk of his car!

You nothing but evil Speed Racer!

He’s busy revvin’ up a powerful Mach 5.
And when the odds are against him
And there’s dangerous work to do

You bet your life

Speed Racer, Will see it through.

A Life wager! Nope! Nuh uh! Nope!

Go Speed Racer! Go Speed Racer! Go Speed Racer, Go!

 

Straight back to hell ya doe eye’d demon!

Randy, what movie did you watch?