Freddy vs Jason (2003) – Filmsack Show Note

INTRO

Oh hi,

(while jumping rope) 1….2…3… Freddy’s coming for me… wait a second why am I jumping rope and singing this dumb song. I haven’t skipped rope since I was a 6 year old girl in pony tails… oh no…is this a nightmare! (jumping rope) 6…5…4… Hey, I shut your back door! …what’s that…you left it open for the cats…oh ok…but don’t blame me if somebody walks in and hacks and folds one of you up into bed burrito …. (jumping rope) 7…8… Am I still a virgin if I masturbate…Yes! Yes you…are…unless….Split Personalities!

Ki ki ki … ma ma ma …. ki ki ki Oh..thank god…It’s Jason Vorheez. He’ll save me from this nightmare on my intro….hey Jason. This scarecrow says Free Beer and it is pointing that way. Ok now he’s staring at me. (jumping rope) 9…10… Freddy’s back again.

Oh come on How did I even fall asleep. The last thing I remember … I was writing my Filmsack Intro … and Randy came in and he gave me a bottle of “Did I ever tell you boys about the time” and I was out like a light. Damn you Randy! Avenge me Jason Vorheez! I am your Mother! and Randy has been very bad! Randy.

Because honestly, this whole movie is just an episode of WWE Smackdown…can you smell what the Ronny Yu is cooking.

LINKS

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0329101/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freddy_vs._Jason

TWITTER

Freddy vs Jason (2003) – vs Lori’s 2003 the wet look. Stop it. #BabeDon’tMakeMeAskYouTwiceOk.

LINKS

• Nice mix of Freddy and Jason.
• The springwood slasher.
• The children gave Freddy his powers
• Freddy origin story.
• Child killer set free
• Vigilante justice never ends well.
• The children found a way to forget me.
• I can’t come back if nobody remembers me
• Freddy went to hell to grab Jason
• He may get the blood but I will get the glory.
• Come on Mike…it ain’t funny anymore.
• This lady is doing all the Jason tropes. Cause it is a dream!
• Ahhh…Freddy is in Jason’s nightmares.
• The children have been very bad on Elm Street!
• Marry, Fuck or Kill…your 3 choices are The 3 Stooges.
• Is this what we are doing tonight because it is really Stank (Stop trying to make Stank a thing)
• Freddy, Scooby or Shaggy.
• This movie is very anti-smoking.
• Stop trying to make Cock-smith a thing.
• Come on Lori ..you need to meet a guy…named JASON!
• Show me your fung shui
• Poor Lori …Mom dead…lost her middle school boyfriend…friends who try to hook her up with crotch scratching fung shui talking Blake.
• Your back door was open…I closed it.
• Do any of these ladies have natural sized boobs
• Trey? does not like to be touched after sex…well…he ain’t gonna like what Jason has to say.
• 1428 Elm
• haha…She is creepy how she watches the cops.
• Good work Stubbs. Are there any real names or boobs in this movie?
• Stubbs just moved here a month ago.
• This movie does not
• “What was the name…” I remember! and now he is back!
• I haven’t seen that coffee machine font in decades.
• Did she fall asleep while thinking about Freddy? you fool!
• This street really likes its house number signs
• Say his name and fall asleep.
• Dad’s Head is Dead
• Dream Demon shit. Lori’s Dad Killed his wife.
• I don’t do checkers. I’m an Uno guy
• Hey! how does this connect. I recognize that guy.
• Escape from the Asylum by showing your ass…literally
• Hypnosil…mmm…tasty juice
• Is Lori’s hair always wet? LA Looks?
• nerd…we only know you by your last name Lindermen. No time for Date A Dork
• Come on Mark…don’t share the Freddy song!
• Mark and Will you escape the Asylum and you go to school.
• Kia ain’t got no time for anybody…except the plastic surgeon.
• Sorry, The Nurse Can’t Help You…. You are totally in a dream
• They locked up the disease. Quarantine!
• Even the girls painted on the van have unnatural boobs. Is this my nightmare? Is 1 2 3 Freddy is coming for me?
• What if I screwed up the town’s plan? Don’t fall asleep!
• 1-2-3 Freddie’s coming for me. 3-4-8 Blake needs a date. oh wait.. 3-4 hey, I shut your back door…
• Stop talking about your brother!! Be yourself!
• This is some kind of Cotton Eye Joe remix in the corn field.
• Kia Linderman
• Kia does not like to chill the fuck out.
• Babe…don’t make me ask you twice ok.
• Passed out drunk! Drunk dream.
• So which story was Lori ‘s Dad killed killed her mom and Will saw and does Lori ‘s Dad work at the Asylum? and is Mark’s brother from that movie?
• The only thing to fear is fear himself.
• I’m covered in glow sticks and horny for passed out ladies ? That is a weird combo.
• This Everclear is kicking my ass…final words
• You set Jason on fire…you thought you were winning…but you were just making it worse.
• and now he is covered in beer
• Beer Crow…beer this way.
• That goalie was real.
• Prove it…show me a death certificate…
• Oh you work at Westin! You are a general practitioner?
• We’ll talk about it in the morning!
• There are 3 murderers in this movie. Lori’s Dad, Freddy and Jason
• You can’t trust the police…you can’t trust the adults…we have to trust Mark
• Where is mark at? Who’s house is this? Oh no! not my last Stay Awake pill!
• That ain’t Freddy’s Back…that is Mark’s back.
• George W Bush.
• They have had 4 years of peace…and no more!
• What did they do with Mark’s body?
• Lori  is always watching. She is the creepiest.
• Coke Products
• About half-way though it is time for a Jason
• Will is smart…he has everything figured out.
• Freddie died by fire and Jason died by water.
• Why do you guys think I am a virgin.
• Oh yeah…Lori is totally asleep.
• haha…got to stomp the grubs
• Hypnosil…suppression of dreams.
• What the hell. Why the hell does the Westin facility need nasa level main frame? when all of their rooms look like leftovers from the 1950s
• Oh ok…they spent a lot of high tech money to defeat Freddy.
• Also, who is the monster? The parents or the slasher.
• Smoke a J and get the hookah worm. The best part of this movie
• I really like knock off J. Reverb?
• Awww…I liked cop guy. Somewhere between high school and adult.
• Let me handle this bitch.
• Knock off Britney Murphy
• I like how loosey goosey they always play Jason.
• Welcome to my nightmare….now to use my jedi/freddy powers.
• The pinball fight…not sure I like it.
• Why won’t you die…Water is his weakness. His fear.
• Jason needs their help…because in the end…Jason was a victim and Freddy was always a predator
• now Freddy has Vulcan mind meld powers.
• Why did they lay her down next to Jason. That seems dangerous.
• Well Lori didn’t help by reaching in the water to only freak out when she saw Jason’s face.
• Kia he has asthma!!
• Pretty sure mouth the mouth is not going to help. Also, don’t give Linderman a gun.
• Jason was ejected from the van.
• So the moral of the story is..if the kids had just listened to their parents they would have been fine.
• Oh c’mon Jason….you should recognize that Lori was trying to help.
• She brought him into the real world. Welcome to my domain Freddy.
• Linderman is the man…even if he does have a punctured wound.
• He never even got to have unpaid sex.
• Freddy likes it when you say his name. Say my name…How sweet. Dark Meat…
• Runs around in a Christmas Sweater.
• What is up with the butter knives.
• awww…booo…just when I started to like Kia
• You got Freddy out to fight Jason.
• Freddy gets to do the wrestling moves. Not going to lie…that is pretty sweet.
• Jason’s only weakness is that he still believes in reality…sometimes.
• This is for sure the most wrestling vs story.
• If you like the high drama of wrestling…You are going to love Freddy Vs Jason.
• Really don’t think Freddy should be able to win on Jason’s turf
• “Freddy, go to hell!”
• Grow back your arm in reality Freddy…you can’t.
• Sure is a lot of blood between 2 dead demons.
• Love this finale music though.
• on fire and into the water…well…that ain’t going to make it happen.
• They brought Freddy and Jason to a Lori fight.
• Welcome to my world bitch!
• haha…did Jason go to Heaven?
• You win this time Jason