Film Sack

The Money Pit (1986) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

This week’s Film disaster tries to destroy my dream of owning a home with Tom Hanks, the last known decent human being in Hollywood and living bobble head.

So bring in your Mad Max wrecking crew and do your worst. Tom and I will find a way to survive an onslaught of Karmic like retribution brought on by the sins of the father.

let’s keep this brief, I have a chic waiting in the Jacuzzi and a turkey in a bucket.

Hey Randy, how long do you think it will take you to complete your intro?

Hasta La Vista

 

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Film Sack

The Whole Nine Yards (2000) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Man, all the ladies in this week’s filmsack movie are “smoking!”  am i right? High five guys! Seriously though, why are all the ladies in this movie smoking tobacco products? I have concerns.

Oh….and Amanda Peet…more like Amanda’s Teets! Yeah, Ibbott knows what I’m talking about. You paused that so many times that even Blockbuster couldn’t rewind it. Up top brother! What…c’mon! Don’t leave me hanging!

Well, can I at least get a shout out to inappropriate mentor/student relations? Bruce Willis…40s hooks up with Amanda Peet in her 20s using his influence as a hitman hero. Wow, That whole story line just touched me….inappropriately…and deserves to go to jail.

Overall, I give this movie two teets up.

My eyes are up here Randy.

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Film Sack

The Dukes Of Hazzard (2005) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

YeeeHaw and all that stuff y’all…and now it is time for some Theme Song Fact Checking,

I’ll try to read these lines with my fact checking voice…but I may break into song…no promises.

Alright, here we go….

“Just the good ol’ boys…”

Unproven….what we DO HAVE IS: a “Smartass” and a “Jackass” in an orange Dodge Charger

Next

“Never meanin’ no harm…”

Hmmm…Let’s see…more attempted cop killings than an Ice-T ditty. However, since you qualified it with a “never meanin…” I guess it’s NOT technically NOT true. sooo…

Next!

“Beats all you never saw…”

What?! No..What?! NEXT

“Been in trouble with the law…”

True

“Since the day they was born…”

I got to tell you, this whole story seems improbable…I don’t think we need to inspect the 2nd verse..

NEXT

Hey, Somebody get me the lyrics to the A-Team…I got some work to do.

 

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Film Sack

Meltdown (1995) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh,  hi-ya…! cause…Kung Fu…

Ok….From now on, errors will be treated with zero tolerance. As an example, I point to the sloppy execution of last week’s sacking, where one unsightly error nearly set off the trolls… You know what I’m referring to don’t you… Scott?

Yeah…I know It wasn’t you, Scott

Don’t worry… I know it was Wang.

Hmmm…nothing huh…No Risk, No Reward.

Wait..The Doctor is a Timelord! …that changes everything, changes nothing.

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Film Sack

The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Dear Mr. Zissou (Zee-sue), my name is Brian and I’m 11 and a half years old.

Today my mom took me to see your latest documentary. As you can imagine, I have questions. Most are related to oceanic curiosity and others, well nipples.

I couldn’t help but notice that you have nipples around the size of tic tac’s while others in your crew have nipples up to and exceeding pepperonis. Why is this? Is there an evolutionary reasoning behind this phenomenon? Also, my mother requests that “The Harlette” put on a t-shirt. I assume she is talking about the guy maxing out to dinner plate size.

Well, I think that about covers my nipple questions. Now onto more Aquatic type queries.

Do fish have nipples? My mom says no. Her boyfriend says maybe.

Regards,

Also, Possibly your son, Brian for now Zee-Sue

Sept 19th, 1983

 

 

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Film Sack

Catwoman (2004) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh, hi meow.

Midnight talent agency how may I claw your eyes out today? Purr Purr.

Oh my yes, Mrs. Berry would love to be in your movie. Meow Meow

What’s that? What are her qualifications? Meow Meow.

Well she has 10’s of minutes of experience with cats. Meow. I would even go so far as to say she is a sort of cat-spert. Meow. Why I saw her just this morning looking at cat pics on the internet. Meow. It’s Caturday after all…Meow Meow.

Excellent I’ll let her know. and yes we do accept payment in the form of cans of tuna. Purr Purr.

What’s that? Sharon Stone is also casted. Hiss. Well  then we are going to need some extra cans of tuna and a scratching post in Mrs. Berry’s dressing room. but no need for a shower in her trailer. She is going to mouth bathe herself after eating 8 cans of tuna on her bed. So sexy. Meow Meow

Alright, I got to go lick my butt for 2 hours. Talk to you later meow.

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