INTRO
Oh hi! Patrick Dempsey “No Talent” Agency circa late 80s, how may I destroy your childhood memories today?
oh, you say you have a role for a sex crazed high school senior or college freshman who is kind of dorky but the ladies find him dreamy despite his low social status and penchant for low paying jobs like mowing lawns and delivering pizza?
Yeah we got those here. We got a whole shit can of those here. We shave them once a day and anything below the eyebrows gets a waxing. The ladies love it! Young and old.
Well here is as an inappropriate time as any to talk about money. Dempsey is going to need somewhere between .35 cents and 200 dollars for his services. You can pay that in cash or hats.
While, money can’t buy you love, hats can buy you a Dempsey.
Yes we take Neiman Marcus and Sam Goody’s. I mean it is the late 80s after all and Goody Got It.
Severe.
LINKS
Can’t Buy Me Love (1987)
Directed by Steve Rash. With Patrick Dempsey, Amanda Peterson, Courtney Gains, Tina Caspary. A nerdy outcast secretly pays the most popular girl in school one thousand dollars to be his girlfriend.
Can’t Buy Me Love (film) – Wikipedia
Can’t Buy Me Love is a 1987 American teen romantic comedy feature film starring Patrick Dempsey and Amanda Peterson in a story about a nerd at a high school in Tucson, Arizona who gives a cheerleader $1,000 to pretend to be his girlfriend for a month.
Can’t Buy Me Love (1987) – Like take a look at my forehead, do you see a sign on my head that says “good 80s movie?” High 5’s & woos follow.
SHOW NOTES
Funky late 80s music. Check. Oh…now it’s that other song.
Arizona! Who has grass in Arizona?
Nice Safari Hat.
Is that a Snapper? Yep.
Who applauds a grass cutting? These guys.
White Rabbit with girls in it. Yuck.
Is it hot or is it cold? We got jackets and cut off shirts.
Cindy…only the Neiman Marcus card.
Mother…get serious. Be more like the Miller boy?
Seriously…how do you make money cutting grass in Arizona?
Who crimped that girls hair…they crimped the hell out of it.
Soo goood. I miss the hydro massage…thanks Stocky Jones.
Outrageous!
Number 10…The kid had on a number 10 shirt as well.
Taking some sweet jumps on my huffy.
What is up with his hat choices. Safari Hat. Now a French beret.
Better accelerate.
The cool Clique. (sp)
Cards is for retards? Can’t say that now.
Want to be popular…get a Ferrari…and a chic
Tic-Tac Tile Dad.
Rock is all class.
I said no. not my suede outfit.
Where are the fat kids in this movie?
Ronald…not at the table please. Jerking off to your science mag
1500 dollars (331 miles of grass 4.54 mile) – 1502.74 (286 Lawns)
Preschool Jam Session at Julies
Cards with the tards. Cards Chips Dips and Dorks.
That is Severe Suede. Fine leather from Des Moines
Who high-fives with wine? This guy. (it was ripple.)
You can’t return a Ripple stained outfit.
Do not do it. Do not give that girl $1000 dollars…RENT HER!
If you are paying cash for a suede outfit…you can get a better deal than $1000
For a month. Average month is 30 days.
Now come on Donald. Ronald.
No sleeves and a popped collar. (Dick with ears.)
Go Badgers. Go Honey Badgers.
Home Economics. Can you wear no shirt with an apron?
Take a look at my forehead…do you see a sign on my head that says “information?” – That deserved a high five and a woo.
All these kids do is eat. How are there no fat kids!
I’m living in a box…a cardboard box….I’m writing a song…about a box
now let’s switch up to Secret Agent man. They must have gotten a deal on old songs.
Don’t be taking up for Bobby.
What is he drinking.
Look at those classic Doritos and coke! and sprite
Ronnie likes to cut grass and wash cars and look at stars and rent cheerleaders by the month.
Are all teenagers in movies hairless? I feel like we were a lot hairier in my hometown.
She shared her poetry with Ronnie. He is friend-zoned.
If she can charge so much on her mom’s card why did she take Ronald’s money. Couldn’t she just have bought another suede suit on her mom’s card and pretended like it was something else.
The Airplane Graveyard.
ahhh…he was born the day they landed on the moon.
Man. We do not live on the moon.
Well Ronnie ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed.
Chucky get’s all the Ricky gas in the face. No wonder he is so stunted.
Now he is getting all the ladies.
Well that ain’t Dick Clark. African Ant Eater Ritual? Not at the Columbus Day Dance.
I never went to a high school dance that booked the latest hottest band.
Cindy is trying to hook up with more nerds. Once you go nerd you can never go “herd.”
Wait…is he doing the African Ant Eater Ritual or the special Ed.
This is the part where I thrust my boobs at you.
I can’t help but to think Ronnie is splashing everybody with hair gel.
Everything is Severe in this movie
“Only one other titty quite this pretty?” How long is too long to wait for some tit?
Time to nut up. Time to shitbomb your old friends house with your new chums.
Cindy is trying. Now she is vodka.
Quint is the worst
Time to walk the house of sex rooms.
Uh oh…Bobby is home.
Bobby thinks Ronnie makes .35 cents an hour.
oh man. Cindy really laid down the shame.
The worst waist of 1000 dollars.
Rep score from 10 to 0
It’s Tucson, Arizona. Why is he Wonderful Life Walking like it’s cold.
Even his lunch is in a bag on a tray. Bag tray. Tray bag
Ahh…Video Games. Much less complicated than the social order of high school.
He wore his geek clothes to the arcade then wore his cool kid clothes to see Cindy.
Once month of detention for going into the ladies room. That is severe.
Chucky Miller is wearing a bloom county shirt.
I spy with my 80s eye. A jolt cola!
I get it. Very big in bathrooms.
Ronald McDonald Miller Scam.
“Remember when we were in the 5th grade.” moment.
Slow clap. Nerds. Jocks…living together.
This year it is a cowboy hat.
It’s his Grass cutting shirt “You Are Here”
The Haves and Haves Nots.
Donald!
