Catwoman (2004) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh, hi meow.

Midnight talent agency how may I claw your eyes out today? Purr Purr.

Oh my yes, Mrs. Berry would love to be in your movie. Meow Meow

What’s that? What are her qualifications? Meow Meow.

Well she has 10’s of minutes of experience with cats. Meow. I would even go so far as to say she is a sort of cat-spert. Meow. Why I saw her just this morning looking at cat pics on the internet. Meow. It’s Caturday after all…Meow Meow.

Excellent I’ll let her know. and yes we do accept payment in the form of cans of tuna. Purr Purr.

What’s that? Sharon Stone is also casted. Hiss. Well  then we are going to need some extra cans of tuna and a scratching post in Mrs. Berry’s dressing room. but no need for a shower in her trailer. She is going to mouth bathe herself after eating 8 cans of tuna on her bed. So sexy. Meow Meow

Alright, I got to go lick my butt for 2 hours. Talk to you later meow.

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8 Mile (2002) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

ummm hi, yes…My name is Brian but my friends call me the Reluctant Rhyme Slayer. Well, they never called me that before tonight…but  on the drive over I heard it a lot. I guess I should have probably known something was up. Hey, thanks for signing me up for this guys and oh…by the way…nothing like Karaoke.

alright…so..I guess…umm…can I get a beat? Thanks. Ah yeah…that’s dope. Yo….MTV Raps

Oh before I start I would just like to thank my opponent here for going first and  for his many honest words. While they were very hurtful…. I feel like I have a great opportunity to take those observations and make some real changes in my life. First thing Monday I’m going on a diet and getting some clothes that fit.

Also, can I just say you really took that “spitting rhymes” thing to  heart. I mean I’ve never been that close to an actual rap and I was not aware how much saliva was involved. Look at me…I’m dripping over here.

Alright, so let’s get this over with…what’s that? Times up? Oh Thank God.

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Point Break (1991) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Hey! Young, Dumb and Full of Gum, who told you that you could park on my shooting range…where’s my whistle!

Oh…well hello there…you must be Kathryn Bigelow’s wet dream….I mean…I’m just saying it’s raining out here and you are fulfilling her artist dreams..

Anywho, it’s your turn to take aim at hilariously illustrated bad guys & gals here at the “Sunday Funnies Shooting Range” where it’s funny to shoot  stuff in  the head… or foot. Because everybody knows… foot trauma is the best form of humorous karma.

Ok, Sammy Idaho or Billy Arkansas or whatever your deal is…If at any point you are “looking California and feeling Minnesota” then just stop. Because at that point “break”…I have probably foreshadowed too far into the future.

C’mon…these are the 90s jokes Brah! Smile already, oh wow…4 out of 5 Dentists agree…that’s creepy…Ok…smiling…it ain’t your thing.

Now where’s my whistle! 100% sure you are going to take your shirt off in about 5 minutes if I don’t get out of here.

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Gremlins (1984) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Ok Ok. Kate is 9 now and she is losing her faith in Santa Clause and as her dad and I have to fix that.

So I’ve climbed up here on the roof of our house on Christmas Eve and I am going to shimmy…..down the chimmy…hehe…chimmy…AND deliver these age appropriate Christmas gifts for my darling Kate. Who hates Thanksgiving. Weirdo

Ok ok, Straighten up Santa…time to take inventory.

Let’s see, Weird pet from ChinaTown. Check.

Santa Clause Suit 2 sizes too big from ChristmasTown aka JC Penny. Check.

Belly full of Egg Nog  from Dorry’s Tavern. Check. Check Checkity Check.

Ok, Ho ho ho, Here we go.

*Grunting and squeezing…a little too fat.

Oh, Hey little fellow what are you doing out of your box. Eww and why are you all slimy and gross.

Move you stupid thing you are gonna make me fall and break my neck. Oh no no no

The end. Merry Christmas Kate!

 

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Adventures In Babysitting (1987) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

This week in Adventures in Filmsacking we leave the comforts of Netflix & Chill and head down to the mean streets of YouTube comments where Randy has gotten into a spot of trouble after an Internet troll who has stolen Randy’s identity (and his fancy rose colored Snachat specs (FANCY!)) and starts posting racially insensitive rhymes in the form of the blues. Bud da da da dum. No one leaves YouTube without lip-syncing the blues!

Anywho, time to hop in Ibbott’s rusted out 1997 Mazda Miata and see if we can save Randy before he has to fight a hobo for a wiener in the Apple store. Man I sure hope we don’t run into any trouble along the way!

Hey, has anyone seen my cleaning gloves? I think I saw Elisabeth Shue wearing them earlier.

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The Void (2016) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Well Alice, this is our life now. Yep, Void as far as the eye can see. except for that giant Pyramid…wait. is that The Void? I mean I was thinking of The Void as more of a location or state of mind than an actual object.  Hey…do you hear that?

Hmm…I wonder what they do with our mail? I mean do they pick it up here or do we have to go someplace triangle shaped to drop it off. We still need to do Christmas cards right? I mean this doesn’t get us out of that does it? Do you hear that?

Hey Alice, Sorry about chopping you up earlier.

Seriously, you don’t hear that? Hey look…it’s Bev! Awkward!

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