Can’t Buy Me Love (1987) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi! Patrick Dempsey “No Talent” Agency circa late 80s, how may I destroy your childhood memories today?

oh, you say you have a role for a sex crazed high school senior or college freshman who is kind of dorky but the ladies find him dreamy despite his low social status and penchant for low paying jobs like mowing lawns and delivering pizza?

Yeah we got those here. We got a whole shit can of those here. We shave them once a day and anything below the eyebrows gets a waxing. The ladies love it! Young and old.

Well here is as an inappropriate time as any to talk about money. Dempsey is going to need somewhere between .35 cents and 200 dollars for his services. You can pay that in cash or hats.

While, money can’t buy you love, hats can buy you a Dempsey.

Yes we take Neiman Marcus and Sam Goody’s. I mean it is the late 80s after all and Goody Got It.

Severe.

 

LINKS

Can’t Buy Me Love (1987)

Directed by Steve Rash. With Patrick Dempsey, Amanda Peterson, Courtney Gains, Tina Caspary. A nerdy outcast secretly pays the most popular girl in school one thousand dollars to be his girlfriend.

Can’t Buy Me Love (film) – Wikipedia

Can’t Buy Me Love is a 1987 American teen romantic comedy feature film starring Patrick Dempsey and Amanda Peterson in a story about a nerd at a high school in Tucson, Arizona who gives a cheerleader $1,000 to pretend to be his girlfriend for a month.

TWITTER

Can’t Buy Me Love (1987) – Like take a look at my forehead, do you see a sign on my head that says “good 80s movie?” High 5’s & woos follow.

SHOW NOTES

Funky late 80s music. Check. Oh…now it’s that other song.

Arizona! Who has grass in Arizona?

Nice Safari Hat.

Is that a Snapper? Yep.

Who applauds a grass cutting? These guys.

White Rabbit with girls in it. Yuck.

Is it hot or is it cold? We got jackets and cut off shirts.

Cindy…only the Neiman Marcus card.

Mother…get serious. Be more like the Miller boy?

Seriously…how do you make money cutting grass in Arizona?

Who crimped that girls hair…they crimped the hell out of it.

Soo goood. I miss the hydro massage…thanks Stocky Jones.

Outrageous!

Number 10…The kid had on a number 10 shirt as well.

Taking some sweet jumps on my huffy.

What is up with his hat choices. Safari Hat. Now a French beret.

Better accelerate.

The cool Clique. (sp)

Cards is for retards? Can’t say that now.

Want to be popular…get a Ferrari…and a chic

Tic-Tac Tile Dad.

Rock is all class.

I said no. not my suede outfit.

Where are the fat kids in this movie?

Ronald…not at the table please. Jerking off to your science mag

1500 dollars (331 miles of grass 4.54 mile) – 1502.74 (286 Lawns)

Preschool Jam Session at Julies

Cards with the tards. Cards Chips Dips and Dorks.

That is Severe Suede. Fine leather from Des Moines

Who high-fives with wine? This guy.  (it was ripple.)

You can’t return a Ripple stained outfit.

Do not do it. Do not give that girl $1000 dollars…RENT HER!

If you are paying cash for a suede outfit…you can get a better deal than $1000

For a month. Average month is 30 days.

Now come on Donald. Ronald.

No sleeves and a popped collar. (Dick with ears.)

Go Badgers. Go Honey Badgers.

Home Economics. Can you wear no shirt with an apron?

Take a look at my forehead…do you see a sign on my head that says “information?” – That deserved a high five and a woo.

All these kids do is eat. How are there no fat kids!

I’m living in a box…a cardboard box….I’m writing a song…about a box

now let’s switch up to Secret Agent man. They must have gotten a deal on old songs.

Don’t be taking up for Bobby.

What is he drinking.

Look at those classic Doritos and coke! and sprite

Ronnie likes to cut grass and wash cars and look at stars and rent cheerleaders by the month.

Are all teenagers in movies hairless? I feel like we were a lot hairier in my hometown.

She shared her poetry with Ronnie. He is friend-zoned.

If she can charge so much on her mom’s card why did she take Ronald’s money. Couldn’t she just have bought another suede suit on her mom’s card and pretended like it was something else.

The Airplane Graveyard.

ahhh…he was born the day they landed on the moon.

Man. We do not live on the moon.

Well Ronnie ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed.

Chucky get’s all the Ricky gas in the face. No wonder he is so stunted.

Now he is getting all the ladies.

Well that ain’t Dick Clark. African Ant Eater Ritual? Not at the Columbus Day Dance.

I never went to a high school dance that booked the latest hottest band.

Cindy is trying to hook up with more nerds. Once you go nerd you can never go “herd.”

Wait…is he doing the African Ant Eater Ritual or the special Ed.

This is the part where I thrust my boobs at you.

I can’t help but to think Ronnie is splashing everybody with hair gel.

Everything is Severe in this movie

“Only one other titty quite this pretty?”  How long is too long to wait for some tit?

Time to nut up. Time to shitbomb your old friends house with your new chums.

Cindy is trying. Now she is vodka.

Quint is the worst

Time to walk the house of sex rooms.

Uh oh…Bobby is home.

Bobby thinks Ronnie makes .35 cents an hour.

oh man. Cindy really laid down the shame.

The worst waist of 1000 dollars.

Rep score from 10 to 0

It’s Tucson, Arizona. Why is he Wonderful Life Walking like it’s cold.

Even his lunch is in a bag on a tray. Bag tray. Tray bag

Ahh…Video Games. Much less complicated than the social order of high school.

He wore his geek clothes to the arcade then wore his cool kid clothes to see Cindy.

Once month of detention for going into the ladies room. That is severe.

Chucky Miller is wearing a bloom county shirt.

I spy with my 80s eye. A jolt cola!

I get it. Very big in bathrooms.

Ronald McDonald Miller Scam.

“Remember when we were in the 5th grade.” moment.

Slow clap. Nerds. Jocks…living together.

This year it is a cowboy hat.

It’s his Grass cutting shirt “You Are Here”

The Haves and Haves Nots.

Donald!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deep Blue Sea (1999) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

I’m just an average looking white guy named Jim  in a minority majority horror thriller film…what could possibly go ….ahhh my arm.

Oh, speaking of white guys. Have you seen my uncle Bob? He got me this job. He is this fancy looking white fella who keeps Benjamin’s seat warm back in the city. You met Benjamin right? He’s our investor who can’t shut up about avalanches.

Anyway, my uncle Bob just sits there keeping Benjamin’s seat “ass warm” looking around like he is part of whatever conversation is going on. But he’s really just there because Benjamin can’t get his own ass warm anymore. Not since the avalanche. Oh God, don’t get him started.

Well, thanks for listening. Now excuse me, I have to go be a shark propelled projectile strapped to a gurney. Things don’t end well for me. Could be worse I suppose.

 

 

LINKS

Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Directed by Renny Harlin. With Thomas Jane, Saffron Burrows, Samuel L. Jackson, Jacqueline McKenzie. Searching for a cure to Alzheimer’s disease, a group of scientists on an isolated research facility become the prey, as a trio of intelligent sharks fight back.

Deep Blue Sea (1999 film) – Wikipedia

Deep Blue Sea is a 1999 American science fiction horror film directed by Renny Harlin. It stars Saffron Burrows, Thomas Jane, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Rapaport, and rapper LL Cool J. Set in an isolated underwater facility, the film follows a team of scientists and their research on mako sharks to help fight Alzheimer’s disease.

 

 

TWITTER

Deep Blue Sea (1999) – Like watching a movie about sharks while Samuel L Jackson is telling you the plot to Avalanche. Uh oh. better get Mako.

SHOW NOTES

I think there is a water motif

Pasty white teens make out! to what sounds like…Good and Plenty.

Better than average teens on the top of the boat…

Oh no! They are going to get the ocean drunk on wine!

This shark is like the Give a Hoot owl of the ocean! I SAID A HOOT DON’T POLUTE…SNAP SNAP SNAP I got your pasty white girlfriend!

Music..Music…Music…

Bad boy friend is bad. Headbutts his girl off the boat. Then

Hey! It’s Ahab to the rescue!. Yay! The great white savior!

It’s that lady who is in everything. Spice…Debbie Spice.. ….no… SAFFRON BURROWS!

A money man who’s name is Franklin.

haha!!! Why is he standing over a white guy in a chair?

Each time you told him she was dead! Lie lady! Why would you tell your dad EACH TIME!!

Wait…so she can fly a plane…but chooses to be shuttled by Helicopter…I’m not say you can do either or if you can do one…but…

Alcatraz Floats! I got IT on the brain and that makes me giddy

“What do you think Amigos…She’s a 12 footer.”

hehe…Samuel L. Jackson’s Tattoo is good…not great…but passable. I’m getting old.

So far this music is all over the place. But I like it…seems to flow with the emotion of each scene..also a few homages.

Is the license plate ate by a shark joke over yet?

“Beneath it’s glass surface. A world of gliding monsters.” – Perfect Line.

A Skeleton Crew on the weekend.

“You trust me…do you know why? Because I’m trust worthy.”

A con recognizes a con.

Money Money…make the world go round.

A foul mouthed fowl. So are we to assume the parrot has been exposed to many expletive based gangsta songs?

A pastry chef on the floating Alcatraz?

Well them sharks ate them other shawks. Little baby shawk.

Chef and bartender.

Foreshadowing? Leave dying to the white folks?

I wish I had started counting all the ocean puns from the start.

Sharks never go blind, have cancer or stuff.

They are hunting in packs…like wild dogs. They only eat other sharks.

Sharks can’t swim backwards or recognize guns. It’s impossible.

In 1999 did we still have static on screens when cameras were eating by sharks!

Carter has one move. Swim away…psyche! I’m in your sharky face!

This movie is full of puns.

Bad dreams? What does a shark dream about?

“This? oh it’s just some Alzheimer patient’s brain matter that we keep alive in the lab to experiment on. The patient? They are fine. Everytime they ask about the surgical wound on their head we just tell they there loved ones are dead. We really are good people. Wanna touch it? ”

Goodbye arm.

Man, this film is really invested in saving Jim. We followed his story all the way up stairs and to the helicopter…and uh oh…there he goes into the drink.

Was that place made of explosives? How much fuel do you need for floating Alcatraz?

I love that LL is the every man in this movie

“Tell me what that is” …well….it’s Jim the projectile.

This movie was made to be sacked.

Without the slow motions scenes this movie would be about an hour.

This movie was influenced or parallel to Michael Bay films?

I’m glad they got the Mall Kiosk Map of Floating Alcatraz in this movie.

If a bird turns and runs…you do the same.

Think so? Not a chance.

It’s always the shark movie problem. How to get the sharks to the people or the people to the sharks.

I love that LL never names the bird…he just calls him bird.

The confrontations of the brainiacs

Other than the floating playboy and the over sexed teens at the start of this movie…there is no love affair in the movie. Ok…maybe LL and his bird.

Uh oh…better get Mako…

Your plan “is swimming out of here?”

Cooked in his own oven. LL Cool is about to get hot.

Sharks ain’t got no good vision

No matter how bad your situation is. There is always somebody got a story about a situation that is worse. “You think water and sharks are  bad. I once had to walk out of an avalanche.”

Getting chomped giving your “come together” speech is the best.

Kind of sad though. I was really hoping we were going to go with the rich guy saving us and not the not so love-able white guy ex-con.

Grab my hand! This guys love that trope. He loved it in Cliffhanger as well.

Wait…that’s it…! I got it. To the Mall Kiosk Map!

“Who ya gonna trust? The white guy from Cal Tech?”

The only sexual tension going on is between Preach and Cal Tech.

Perfect omelette…2 eggs not 3. No milk.

Flipped a couple of switches…Thumbs up and happy face…yeah…that ain’t gonna last.

Sure…humans can swim…but should we? We aren’t very good at it. We are engineered to do it.

Message in a bottle? Nope. Cassette tape in a Ziplock.

Nope..not a shark…it’s your buddy.

Well about time. I was wondering when the attractive doctor was going to strip down to her clean and matching underwear. Very creative way to get her stripped down.

So your plan is to bring as much attention to your area as possible?

Nooo…not LL!!

Grote…stab to the eye.

This shark is wanting to Free Willy on out of here.

Let’s A-Team this shit. Is there a new A-Team TV show that is a more recent reference?

Bait? What? Masterbate? What? Come to Mama.

Damnit Susan! “Huh…blood? In the water? chomp chomp chomp!!”

Susan’s plan was a poor plan.

What if your plan?  Jump in the water? Punch the shark? Do that Toro Toro Toro thing?

LL is like…let me save this day.

You know. I’m not too broken up about Susan. She used to wait for her dad to forget about his wife’s death then tell him all over again.

Did they use enough explosives? Carter may have over estimated.

So Carter and Preacher hook up?

They just blew up a 45 foot shark…you better start worrying about regular sharks. that is a lot of blood.

LL Cool J has a song for the movie!!

 

 

 

 

 

Strange Brew (1983) – Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi you hosers, Geez I just woke up, I don’t know about an intro. Just, take off you nobs,

You’re still here…. well, then let me tell you how to get free Filmsacks:

First, you bribe Scott at the front desk with a couple of Jelly’s. He has a whole drawer full. I’m not even sure he eats them. Just a whole drawer full of Jelly’s. Weird eh.

But THAT will get you in to see Randy.

Now Randy likes to hand out jobs. especially if you threaten to sue him. Currently, he has half of Canada at his employ. Handing out jobs like free beers at Oktoberfest.

Once you have a job, head down to our top secret lair where we keep Ibbott and his haunted  DVD disc changer. Just grab a DVD like Strange Brew. You doon’t worry about Ibbott. He’s usually in the toilet behind the fake wall taking care of “Ibbott business.” I think he gets into Scott’s Jelly drawer a good bit.

Where am I during all of this? Right here. Writing intros and drinking dad’s beer.

So sit back and get some corn. eh. It’s going to be a doosey.

LINKS

Strange Brew (1983)

Directed by Rick Moranis, Dave Thomas. With Rick Moranis, Dave Thomas, Max von Sydow, Paul Dooley. Canada’s most famous hosers, Bob and Doug McKenzie, get jobs at the Elsinore Brewery, only to learn that something is rotten with the state of it.

Strange Brew – Wikipedia

Strange Brew (also known as The Adventures of Bob & Doug McKenzie: Strange Brew ) is a 1983 Canadian comedy film starring the popular characters Bob and Doug McKenzie, portrayed by Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis, who also served as co-directors. Co-stars include Max von Sydow, Paul Dooley, Lynne Griffin and Angus MacInnes.

TWITTER

Strange Brew (1983) –  This movie is a genius, it knows the Atlas. Oh geez, my left nut.

SHOW NOTES

MGM Lion looks stoned. or bummed out.

Cranking a tail. was that a real tail! that seems super dangerous

Movie Theme is not as good as koo koo koo koo

The difference between tv and movies.

That is a lot of beer.

He’s a genius he knows the Atlas.

Russia and Hawaii doesn’t usually get the show.

Theory on movies. How to wreck a movie. Release the moths.

3 B …  sit back and get some corn. ok eh.

2051 AD Ten Years after WW4

He is the Keymaster.

Bowling alleys take it first after ww4

Mutants live in the underground caves.

Omega Man is an influence.

Like using a tape measure to communicate

Whiplash from my burps.

Breaking the 4th wall and then the 5th wall.

They did this on their album guy.

A mason jar of moths will wreck any movie.

The Mutants of 2051 AD was their movie inside a movie.

I cry like that when I spend 2 weeks allowance on a movie.

Police in Canada drive cabs.

This music is very 80s…groove machine…shred some guitar. clean drum rhythms.

Theme song song

Bob and Doug live with their parents.

Why are they in such a hurry to eat when they got home. Beer and donuts?

Is that Yosemite Sam? Their dad is Yosemite Sam? They stole all the WB sounds…no they are watching MGM cartoons. it’s an MGM movie.

You nob.

Look at that old 7-11

What kind of beer store is that? All we have are Grocery Stores and ABC Stores around here.

I believe there will be no charge.

Nice box art to reality shot.

Take off. Hoser.

“He hooked up our stereo.” That used to be a qualifier when we were in high school. Cred.

Is that guy’s security desk have a keyboard.

I need a hidden door bathroom. It’s very humorous..apparently.

Nothing bribes a chunky secretary faster than a pocket donut. no…I was wrong…2 and one is a jelly.

Ahh..the 80s…where set decoration go to be embarrassed.

Computer sounds. Deep press keyboards and bleeepy flashing computers and the hums of vacuum tubes.

“Let’s get some men on the bottling line.”

Go in to get some free beer. Get a job instead. What just happened. Leap of logic?

Bring the lunatics from the asylum…let’s see how the drugs, beer and synth music affect them. Apparently it makes them a hockey team. makes sense.

Haha…”The Colonel is dead but here we are enjoying his chicken.”

Apparently the McKenzie boys are a big joke around the neighborhood.

“Geez I just got up…I don’t know.”

How much beer, corn and donuts are these guys putting away in a day.

Bad guy is bad.

Galactic Border Patrol.

Question Relay Gag.

I wonder if this score will be related.

Take off eh.

Eh.

Brewmeister Smith. is that his real name or his title?

How strong is the bad guy? This strong. Slaps you around and can pick you up by the cheeks.

Level 5!

“Give in the dark side of the force you nob.”

Oww…my left nut.

Piano revelation music. Ting ting ting ting

They horked our clothes!

Blissful ignorance heroes. They just bumble into winning the day.

“They are cutting pirates” Illegal record making?

Used to be a common device. cutting the brakes.

Friendly zombies…that is what we used to think of lunatics.

Hosehead is the dogs name.

Do you feed/water your dog anything that is inappropriate?

Didn’t need to see dad’s face. That broke the myth.

“What the stink are they doing in there?”

Scary. Jason Vohrees on a moped with flowers.

Why am I being chased by a cab. you pull over eh.

The McKenzie brothers are like the Duke Boys.

Oh no. Not the McKenzie van! it’s part of their 80s identity.

When you are only 10 feet from the surface of the water do you need air shoved into your mouth to rise up? Sad music

The detective dub over was amazing.

Apparently he has no brakes either.

Intermission to signify the 2nd act?

We don’t need air. we got beer.

Man. I bet that was hard to film. Props  to the dedication to the gag. Pulled over underwater.

“My compliment to the many fine things in your home.”

“Ahh…my wife.”

Personalities so big…they take over the prison.

He is Tron. He lives in the game.

He knows how to handle the press. Beat the Nation.

Is that the queen over the judges head

Please explain TimeCode

Shove a couple of bullets up your nose.

The judge has magazines on his desk.

That is not how bullets work. But sure. I accept it.

Oh no! Our heroes have been committed.

I love doing the steamroller!

“Hi fellows. My name is Ted.”

That is one big needle…full of beer.

Hey you “6.50” all I got is two 5s

Power plays a weird role in this movie.

I think Ted is Dead. Dead Ted.

We have seen head crushing before…and it hurts.

Got to escape the asylum.

Cowboys on PJs and Spacemen on the other. That was all kids liked back in the early 80s

is that little car a Datsun? they say it is Japanese.

Now you are the mouse.

Is it hard to swim in beer? I wonder if it is hard to swim in carbonated anything?

Ahh…the old pee in the pool…it’s getting warmer in here joke.

Koo ko koo kooo

The superstrong bad guy…how do they get so superhuman strong?

A lot of electrocutions in this movie.

Those who have the power.

Music to accentuate comedy in a comedy. It’s hard to pull off these days.

True McKenzie style. He drank it all.

When your movie turns into Tron.

Did she lay a kiss on the manager?

Who is that security guard at the end. He’s familiar.

The Mckenzie’s are always landing jobs based on their weird skillsets. Yet they never have a job.

Skunk dog.

All the beer is free!!

A Toronto Skunk.

The McKenzie’s know how to interrupt.

Movie review of your movie in your movie.

Freeze Frame. Happy Trails

 

 

 

 

Pumping Iron (1977) – Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi, Mr Olympia Lost and Found, how may we pump you up today. Ha ha ha. Just a little levity sir. Yes, I totally understand. You’ve lost your shirt and that’s no joke.

Ok so, can you describe the shirt for me. It’s red. Right, well we have a lot of red shirts sir. Can you tell me what size it is.A large but it wears like a youth small o10+our hulking body. Oh…and white trim. Ok, well that does narrows it down. So can you tell me does it have any ironically cute pictures on it. Like an owl or a cartoon dog?

(mixed with nervous laughter) Oh, it does. uh huh It has Mickey Mouse on it. uh huh…Say…where are you calling from? The Lobby, oh ok. ok. What’s that. You say you can see me. oh…oh…Oh yes, I see you waving now. My you are one large shirtless man…..really kind of hard to miss. What’s that? The shirt I’m wearing. oh…yeah…uh…it is red…with white trim and has Mickey Mouse on it.

Hold please. (running.)

 

LINKS

Pumping Iron (1977)

Directed by George Butler, Robert Fiore. With Arnold Schwarzenegger, Lou Ferrigno, Matty Ferrigno, Victoria Ferrigno. From Gold’s Gym in Venice Beach California to the showdown in Pretoria, amateur and professional bodybuilders prepare for the 1975 Mr. Olympia and Mr. Universe contests in this part-scripted, part-documentary film.

Pumping Iron – Wikipedia

Pumping Iron is a 1977 docudrama about the world of professional bodybuilding, with a focus on the 1975 IFBB Mr. Universe and 1975 Mr. Olympia competitions. Directed by George Butler and Robert Fiore, it is inspired by a book of the same name by Butler and Charles Gaines, and nominally centers on the competition between Arnold Schwarzenegger and one of his primary competitors for the title of Mr. Olympia, Lou Ferrigno.

 

 

 

TWITTER

Pumping Iron (1977) – Like watching a guy getting his knees licked by a Cheetah, what am I looking at right now? Is this porn? I hate my eyes.

SHOW NOTES

Tiny lady show me how to be object of desire

Have you seen my muscles?

Gym Muscles

You see this Gold’s Gym sign? We punched that into existence.

Big Mike…how do you get that nickname among a lot of big guys? Big Tony. I noticed we never met small Mike or Tony…that’s because the big guys ate them.

This gym would intimidate me.

I see a lot of guys with hemorrhoids

28 6foot2 …. Mr Olympia…

I’m a muscle artist. Let me paints some deltoids over here with some 60 pound weights.

The Pump….blood into muscles.

Look where you point.

Never hide away…Little guys like to hide away.

Is it a requirement to have bad hair . Just shave your head and moustache …if you remove all of your body hair might as well buy all in. Leaving a bunch of hair on top of your head makes you look like some weird oily Troll doll.

You got rusty fenders. Jew. Catholic. 4 eyes. This guy had some weird bullying.

Anyone seen my muscle shirt? what’s that? all the shirts here are muscle shirts. Mine is a tiny little shirt too small for my body. Have you seen a shirt like that?

Mike Katz has some advice about kicking dogs:  It’s like a dog. You can kick a dog so long and it will do two things. It’s gonna either roll over and die or it’s gonna bite you and attack you. And I’m the kind of person who is the type of a dog who would bite back…now where is my shirt! woof woof woof woof.

What’s it sound like when a room full of body builders clap. no one knows.

They have a Tall Man category?

No one is buying Mike Katz performance of appreciating Ken Waller’s win.

The 70s was a very hairy time.

Everyone involved looks like are on the set of a porno.

Arnold is impressed by dictators who are remembered for hundreds of years.

Lou eats a big salad

Lou would spend all night reading Muscle Books. what the hell was there to read in Muscle books..

Lou’s dad is after the big baby.

Body builders seem to be obsessed with analogies.

Fat Steven Wright is doing his best.

How would you like to be in a gym with a body builder who is hard of hearing?

Arnold is not a number.

Arnold is in a nice gym. Lou is in someones weight trailer.

Arnold at the gym…making everyone feel inadequate.

Is there a term for when weights start giggling and chiming.

Arnold has no fear of fainting in a gym. That is like my biggest fear in a gym

Arnold plays head games.

Like a cheetah liking your knees. It’s good

Arnold giving prankster advice.

Arnold is a dedicated prankster. Will spend 2 hours to screw you over.

Lou could not be more embarrassed of his parents in front of his idle than any child in the history of the universe.

Lou’s dad is the truth of living vicariously.

Third place in a 3 man contest. That is last my friend.

The saddest part of the whole contest. Watching Lou’s dad de-oil him.

 

Matchstick Men (2003) – Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi Filmsack Men, Who shall we con today? The listeners? Little Old Ladies, Randy? Hmmm… .unsure if I meant Little Old Ladies THEN Randy or Randy likes to con little old ladies…. or perhaps Randy is just really into geriatrics.  Show note problems…am I right?

Well I hope you enjoyed that little distraction. Meanwhile, I swapped your Sacks of good intros with bad impressions of Nicholas Cage.  Good Luck, Randy.

oh look a little old lady.

LINKS

Matchstick Men (2003)

Directed by Ridley Scott. With Nicolas Cage, Alison Lohman, Sam Rockwell, Bruce Altman. A phobic con artist and his protégé are on the verge of pulling off a lucrative swindle when the former’s teenage daughter arrives unexpectedly.

Matchstick Men – Wikipedia

Matchstick Men is a 2003 American black comedy crime film directed by Ridley Scott, and based on Eric Garcia’s 2002 novel of the same name. The film stars Nicolas Cage, Sam Rockwell and Alison Lohman.

 

TWITTER

Matchstick Men (2003) – Like counting in Spanish until you take your pink English speaking pills. *Audible clicking noise

NOTES

One, Two…Three

These credits are giving me anxiety.

That is one serious overbite your dog has.

Love this music.

Compulsive behavior.

The big pink pill helps with the spanish compulsion. now he counts in English.

Random phone guy.

A scam!

Feel horrible for the lady. Great job. You made me feel.

Is he a vampire? He sure don’t like that sun. But thank god they let the dog out.

They left the door open!

A long con. I don’t do the long con.

Yeah…we all saw the pink pills going down the sink.

No pink pills….man…that kicks in fast.

Doctor skipped town.

“You looking for something Sucker?”

Sandwich crumbs will make anyone nervous.

Outdoors, Dirt, bugs.

Onto the blue pills.

“The answering machine pickup” We don’t have that anymore…but we should really bring that back.

never trust a psychiatrist with a Magic Eye poster on the office wall.

Can you call my ex wife?

What is the psychiatrist wearing? and a pipe?

Smoking in a car with the windows up. That seems like torture.

“Mom said I got your elbows”

Outdoors is no good

That is the creepiest way to kiss your “just met” 14 year old daughter ever.

unm. unm. noise

Obsessed with his carpet. Maybe you should get rid of the carpet.

NY Super Fudge Chunk.

Don’t touch my shit kid!

Kid Rock to strip to.

That’s a lot of cigarette and tuna

Those shopping carts though!

Do all con men smoke? am I seeing a motif? or theme?

Discussion Prompt: If all con men in the world smoke. What other fictional worlds could we apply this logic to and how would that change the story.

Mine is What if Samuel L. Jackson’s “Hate this hacker crap character” was conning Newman and he doesn’t actually hate this hacker crap.

 

That guy that never tips. You can’t con him

Teaching your daughter to con.

So much smoking in this movie

It’s the odd couple of con movies.

Who needs TV when you can watch tuna and water in the fridge?

Lady money count. Count faster!

This is one freaking emotional movie.

 

 

 

 

 

Spawn (1997) – Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi and welcome to the Marines!

Semper Fi: Do or die!  However, if you do DIE. Be sure to go to straight to hell, do not pass go; do not collect 200 dollars, That’s a joke son, laugh cause you are going to hear a lot of those when you are dead. It’s a real yuck fest in the afterlife.

Anywho, While in hell be sure to make a deal with one of the devils down there. Personally,  I prefer the badly rendered ones.

Be sure keep an eye on the time. A 5 minute meeting in hell can turn into 5 years real quick. Cause, Hell?

When you get back, be prepared fight pun flinging clowns and bearded bad guys with pace makers the size of one of them Electric Lady Schick Razors.

Also, if you run across a kid that keeps calling you Mister. Go ahead and chop it’s head off. It’s a demon in disguise. “Hey mister, you ok? Hey mister, your face looks like a burnt turd. Hey mis…chop!”

LINKS

Spawn (1997)

Directed by Mark A.Z. Dippé. With John Leguizamo, Michael Jai White, Martin Sheen, Theresa Randle. An elite mercenary is killed, but comes back from Hell as a reluctant soldier of the Devil.

Spawn (film) – Wikipedia

Spawn is a 1997 American supernatural superhero horror film based on the comic book character of the same name. Directed and co-written by Mark A.Z. Dippé, the film stars Michael Jai White in the title role, and is the first film to feature an African American actor portraying a major comic book superhero.

 

TWITTER

Spawn (1997) – This movie hits you so hard and fast that it’s like being hit by a happy Algerian seeking missile to the face.

or

Like a military grade gun combined with a super soaker. It’s hard to tell if you are having fun when getting shot in the face. Nope.

NOTES

Release the Doves of hell

That escalated quickly. Peter ain’t gonna be too happy about burning down his gates.

I got a rocket on a tripod.

Splinter Cell’d

This the type of movie if you ain’t AIS  as soon as the movie starts you gonna be asking be me a bunch of questions.

Happy Algerian guy. Waver heat seeking missile

He is the watcher with the bad hat. Bad Hat Harry

and now is the time we dance.

this is some giant sized opening credits. or opening credits from hell.

This is going to be the “From Hell” joke episode

Tricia Takanawa (Family Guy) reporter

5 o’clock Martin. Sheen

writing P.S. is fine…saying P.S. is weird

Why ask why…when how is so much more fun.

Burn that cigarette Sheen…draw in heavy.

What did that

I’m drinking JAVA!

Spaz guards the house and Wanda.

Wait…was he drinking that coffee before he gave it to him. I don’t want your backwash coffee or your thermos coffee…people with coffee have no bounds.

Why did he glow green? was that a ghost fart?

mmm…kill zone was not clear.

She got a leg gun.

The only direction these actors got was…act like a dick…

Trope…just one more operation.

This is a “subversive” arm of the military.

playing them bongos. just the outside…around the rim and shaking these maracas.

I not only do my kill job. I look angry while doing it.

ahhh hell…that gun is a super soaker with Nickelodeon slime…which is super flammable.

That lady is disgusted by Al.

Hey, why you gonna blow up Al you already done burnt him up with flammable goo.

Straight to hell you go Al. You don’t even get to see the pearly gates.

HELL DOVES! coo coo coo.

Hell is a dirty back alley behind a catholic church? I suspected as much.

my beautiful face

The “Hey Mister” kid…I need more of that in my life.

“Hey mister, you don’t look so good.”  Thanks kid. “Hey mister, you smell like you shit your pants.” Thanks kid “Hey mister, are you as dumb as you are ugly.” Beat it kid.

A new spawn…a spawn of hell.

Fragmented memory. 5 years of change makes Spawn angry!

CHANGE MAKE SPAWN ANGRY AND EVEN MORE BURNT AND SMELLY!

That is a scary ass clown.

So what is the green glowy thing…what does that represent.

Spaz still loves me.

Is that kids name Cyan?

Crispy is clowns side kick. A Jiffy Pop Accident.

“Don’t want to keep that side of potato salad waiting.”

Dude…if that clown showed up to entertain my kids…I’d be like “nope.”

So many flash backs.

Don’t mind being short fat and ugly…but the pay sucks.

Clown farts green.

Nectoplasm? is that what they call it?

D-E-D dead

He yells Wanda as he goes to hell like Mortal Kombat.

He talks without moving his mouth. Weirdo CGI creature.

Spawn looks like a burnt up Slim Good Body.

This is one of those fast moving no stops movie.

I have never seen anyone hanging out and playing rock music during a storm in a cemetery. I’ve never seen that.

Why did Dead Al try to grab demon Spawn Al?

Scream like this…

Punch a dude. Develop super costume.

I didn’t know Road Side Dives was shooting at the cemetery. Thanks Guy Ferarararar

Spawn and the dead can die if you cut off their head.

Pizza maggots. I never seen maggots get a hold of pizza like that. Do they eat pizza?

Took Sheen 5 years to grow a beard and the assassin girl is still wearing the same thing (aidan priest). Oh wait…was that his 5 year plan…to grow a beard?

oh…burn wipe…

Cape burn wipe!

Is that lady in the green a power ranger?

Oh Priest bedazzled her costume

Priest should not be talking about others costumes

I wish I had a belt that could block crotch shots. best superpower ever.

Spawn still thinks he needs guns.

Who shoots at a guy climbing a wall…

Cape power of changing. That’s pretty cool.

That time spawn almost fell off the building.

Hope no one is looking out their window…gonna get shot in the face.

My cape is cool.

Do we really need a special effect sound for everything. That cape is noisy.

Did they really have to take her all the way to the ambulance before they figured out she was dead. Are they putting her on ice?

Could clown spit more. intentional or just a an awesome side effect of special effect appliances?

Spaz is like 90 in dog years.

I got to admit that Cheerleader scene with Clown was weird, hilarious and kind of rocking.

The big demon sounds like Claw from Inspector Gadget.

Oh c’mon…no way do you leave your dog there. That’s BS.

Shut up and eat your rotten sandwich.

This is gonna pinch.

Al, Zack and Spaz on a mission!

What dumb asses would insert a trigger for a bomb that would kill everyone.

I could eat worms. I could not eat mayo and worms.

“Curious Crispy”

Clown alternate ego is violator. Who looks 10 times cooler than hell demon?

That is one bad alley.

“You been violated girly man.” That is only a gag that would work for Hans and Franz fans.

Did the clown just sing D-I-C-K-I-N-G as the Kissing in a tree song.

Love me a computer who says out loud what it is doing. like “Downloading secure files.” SHHHHHH

Do ambulances come to back alleys?

Kinky. Chain up Spawn

Costume Trillions neuron extensions.

Well now that you have explained that I can do it…watch me do it…but I got to make grunty noises…even though it is all thought control.

Spawn has more to learn? I mean he like more than 2 minutes of training.

Spawn just sent that kid on a quest to find Spaz…dead or alive.

More rules. Spawn has to protect his powers…when they are depleted he dies.

They gave Clown more one liners than Beetle juice. Has any character ever had more one liners?

He only speaks in puns.

Spawn Cycle. He just spawn it.

Spawn is no good at cycles.

What kind of music is this.

Clown flying through the air…gotta cap that.

“Reading secure files.” The not so discreet Cortana.

Shoot the monitor logic. You shoot the monitor…you destroy the computer and all of it’s contents.

Getting a Roger Rabbit moment from the clown.

That kid didn’t even scream.

Are you a regular Einstein? what is a “regular” Einstein.

Now…cutscene to demon from hell laughing…sure…why not.

“I will rip your heart out…how specific.”

If Clown can look like Wanda. Maybe you should reconsider Clown as your friend.

“See you in Hell Jason.” What year was this? was that a setup. Was that the 5 year plan?

Wow…now that is cool…he can eye suck things out of people?

How big does a switch attached to your heart need to be? That would have killed him.

Getting a Mask vibe…what year was that?

Pretty much everything in hell looks like shit. Whoever shot these can go to hel…wait..

Get stabbed in the neck…explode…makes snse.

Army of Spawns.

Spawn is despawning the whole place.

“You will never escape me…unless you fly up the way you came in….nooooo!”

Spaz really does know where he lives.

Clown has more lives!

OFF WITH HIS HEAD

What is Clown made of?

So…this was the beginning. But it wasn’t…it was the end.