Constantine (2005) Show Notes

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Constantine (2005)

R | 2h 1min | Drama, Fantasy, Horror | 18 February 2005 (USA)

 

5 Stars (5 / 5)

 

 

 

Intro: Ok...Yeah...Hello, I'm a bad Keanu Reeves Impression...Woah...and I just crawled back from hell to drop some knowledge about my goody two-shoes doppleganger, the real Keanu Reeves... Excellent...Listen...The man is obsessed with chairs. Like the Red Chair in the Matrix with Morpheus and the pills and the talks. The Jack-In Chair in the Matrix. The Jack-in Chair in Johnny Mnemonic...You are welcome Ibbott...The "Al Pacino is the devil... and a Chair" on the promotional poster of Devil's Advocate....and That one time on the subway when he gave away his chair. IN REAL LIFE!

If Keanu had a spirit animal it would be a chair. Woah...Excellent

Alright, got to go. Peter Stormare is making chicken and waffles tonight. Hell ya later!

 

IMDB

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0360486/

 

Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constantine_(film)

 

YouTube Trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEa508Xmmio

 

Twitter: Constantine (2005) -

Like a throat punch from Keanu Reeves to get rid of your neck demons. Woah...Excellent...

 

 

Notes:

 

Where you going DC!

 

Durn all the distributor companies just burned in hell

 

Spear of Destiny

 

Stuff goes missing during WWII...cause Hitler was always stealing stuff and hiding it...can he was a jerk face.

 

Dog is scavenger ...like man...man dog scavenger.

 

Just gonna bury this hear Nazi flag with Jesus' death spear

 

this flag matches...which kind of matches my track suit. 

 

Breathing man...is breathing....and dirty...

 

Uh...your hombre done got smashed up. bad.

 

That tea pot has seen better days. Put it to the flame!!

 

Honey....I brought you tea...oh nevermind...I see you done had enough stimulation today.

 

Trope...demons

 

Bottom shot...top shot. long top shot. (worm, bird, higher bird)

 

So much amazing imagery

 

Hey, did somebody call a smoking priest?

 

Time for some exorcism

 

Ahhh...that's the key....what..you don't like that?

 

Who stands on a bed asshole.

 

Constantine...asshole.

 

My feet do that sometimes...when the cat attacks them.

 

Constantine throat punch! and I need a mirror...3 feet high...we got a hobbit demon!

 

Chad Crammer asshole...Shia Labouf ain't so bad...right...

 

The best exorcisms happen on the 2nd floor...everybody knows that.

 

Don't look asshole!

 

Maybe I should have been more specific...a mirror 3 feet high and only 2 feet wide.

 

It's Two-Face!

 

Bowl Bowl Bowl...Cocktail Snacks! Bowl

 

I need me a single chain pull blind system...

 

Chain-Smoker-sTine

 

It's been like a long time since confession.

 

I killed a man today...

 

Room 427

 

A lot of crosses in this movie

 

Isabelle has bad dreams.

 

Pretty sure you shouldn't be coughing up blood.

 

love these shots.

 

Ha! Constantine thought he was being clever by not holding the door and saying something smart ass...not if I can help it. 

 

Dead Cows! Cows be dropping like flies

 

I need you to get me a moo cup...

 

Screech Beetle...let's shake his box up.

 

Don't waste the Dragon's Breath!

 

Skinny fellow with the fat friend

 

I got wangs!

 

What you think about my surfer hair! Dude looks like a lady! 

 

You can't earn your way into heaven....

 

You are going to hell for the lives that you took? who he take?

 

Murders!

 

I got the power to rub newspapers...look at my black hands. Does that work with internet sites now?

 

Quicktime player...who uses that.

 

That is one convenient security camera...with audio...

 

The supernatural love using the phone...they don't know how they work...but they love using them...Hello? who is this....asshole....

 

Damn billboards and their double meanings.

 

Swarm demon got wasted...

 

Papa Midnight is a legend. 

 

Kid...if you say Jon on one more time...I am gonna kill ya.

 

These angels are androgynous

 

No no...things are balanced!

 

Dude...that is gross...finger licking good indeed.

 

Taking it out on the spider. A little smoke in a glass. 

 

Legion or cult...

 

Nobody believes nobody! in this movie

 

Constantine is kind of a bitter dick. So..suck it...I'm releasing our spider smoke.

 

"What if I told you...." speech.

 

I got my feet pot...gonna stick my shoes in it...

 

Do you ever get that burning feeling when you look deep into a cat's eyes.

 

Demon soldiers gots no skull tops.

 

Hell looks a lot like a Megadeth Album Cover.

 

Priest with a flasher overcoat is the best priest

 

Dodson...we got Dodson here.

 

Do you know how many dead people  are in that morgue. All of them.

 

2 minutes in hell is a lifetime.

 

Dodson here...

 

That dead guy was my friend. He left a symbol in his hand.

 

The Bible in Hell.

 

The devil had a son too...cause he is the devil...and he likes to do it.

 

Fly eye! Brundlefly in my eye.

 

Meanwhile in Mehico...A white guy is carjacked by a demon

 

A lot of shots of no head tops.

 

are those Cthulhu tats?

 

It's like a baptism that goes horribly wrong.

 

Wait wait wait...you didn't say nothing about no drowning!!

 

She be coming out of the tub.....

 

Balthazar!

 

What's in those jars? Was he collecting his own body fluids?

 

Increase in paranormal activity. 

 

Trope...stay in the car...wear this...nope!

 

Fire!...I was born of this.

 

Grandstanding in the demon's office...

 

Come on Neo...fly after her.

 

Reeves is always looking for a chair...Johnny Mnemonic had the brain chair...Matrix had the Matrix chair...Constantine has the Midnight electric chair.

 

I see you stalking me in your astral body...I choke you!

 

I need me a big ole Van Helsing Style Monster fighting gun.

 

I sure hope they don't kill my apprentice.

 

Men In Black/ Ghostbusters moment. Get back to your appropriate locations. You are not suppose to be here.

 

Squeeel like a demon pig.

 

They always trying to drown her.

 

You do not want to be the lady who hatches the son of the devil from her giggly belly.

 

Something to fight for! You done killed my Apprentice.

 

Time for me to use my Neo powers!

 

Gabriel is wearing medical bracelets like a fashion statement. Along with white chaps.

 

Got to be a better way than slitting your wrists

 

He is the Devil!! Not a Russian Cosmonaut

 

What do ya want....exteeeeension...

 

How did the devil forget about the sacrifice...

 

Suck it devil.

 

Noooo....looks like there is more work to do here on earth...plus...cancer free. 

 

What did I learn? nothing. 

 

Hide it...like in a Nazi Flag in Mexico...no wait....somewhere better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Angel Heart (1987) Show Notes

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Angel Heart (1987)

X  |   |  Horror, Mystery, Thriller  |  6 March 1987 (USA)

 

5.0 Stars (5.0 / 5)

 

 

 

Intro: Oh hi, ok...I've been trying to wrap my head around the movie we just watched. So am suppose to understand that Robert Deniro is the devil... and it's not Ben Franklin like proposed by Mama Boucher...because...if that is the case...I may have to go rethink some things...

Say..can you guys hold on a sec...getting a call...hey...yeah...no...thank you Mr. devil...yes that WAS the best intro ever...yeah yeah...it's all yours...see you after the show.

 

IMDB

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092563/

 

Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angel_Heart

 

YouTube Trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTC9Lt3hiWo

 

Twitter: Angel Heart (1987) - Like eating hard boiled eggs with the devil. Nom nom nom...I'm eating your soul right now....it's good...it's good.

Notes:

 

Nothing creepy here

 

A classic tale...a cat...a dog...a dead body.

 

Saxomophone! More Sax! Wailing Sax!

 

The mean streets of NY circa 1955

 

Our hero enters...bubble gum and cigarettes.

 

Harold R Angel just like in the phonebook

 

Drawer full of junk

 

Winesap and Macintosh

 

Louis Cyphre

 

He knows where Harlem is.

 

Say I am riding around in a Cadillac. but I should be riding around in a Rolls Royce.

 

Look at them nails. grody.

 

I'm a Hairy Angel.

 

Fans..one is spinning the other is not....must be important.

 

2nd reference to the phonebook...must be important

 

Johnny Favorite

 

Nothing worse than getting Deniro  stuck in your head. you can't whistle that  shit out.

 

A wallet full of identities.

 

They didn't have ballpoints back in 43

 

3rd reference to phonebooks and 2nd to ballpoint pens.

 

everything was a lot more cluttered and dirty back in 55

 

mmmm...reusable needles!

 

a pistol in every nightstand.

 

who puts morphine next to the milk!

 

He got in through the mail slot!

 

Harry Angel is a close talker.

 

Hey Harry...you gonna kiss me or question me?

 

Another fan reference

 

The fans shows the flow of air that exists or doesn't exist in the presence of the devil

 

3rd reference to skeleton keys

 

Why is Harry removing the evidence that the doc killed himself?

 

Deniro is scary

 

I have never seen someone crack an egg that way...man that is annoying.

 

Slugs leave slime.

 

Eggs are the symbol of the soul. Nom nom nomm...eating your soul

 

Superstitious much. Salt over the shoulder and has a thing about chickens

 

Monkey stuffed, eyeballs, some voodoo shit

 

Soul Parade..hey...let's carry the preacher on a chair.

 

black robe lady. Who is she

 

Man...I see why church's switched to pews...chairs are dangerous...but that sure was a cool scene

 

The preacher man has one long nail.

 

Sorry I broke up your church parade!

 

Spider Simpson Band

 

Toot Sweet! 

 

The Witch Of Wesley

 

When did matches become hard to light? used to cold do it with your hand.

 

fan!

 

Not Algeres in Africa

 

Nose shields are awesome

 

Scrote scratching info is the best info

 

Don't be a gazoonie fella

 

awww...Louisiana ...bring on the sweat buckets

 

Camels...unfiltered...

 

Excuse me Mr. Angel...could you stop pilfering around with my shit.

 

Oolong tea?

 

Days to read your future.

 

Harry has personal space issues...as in...he doesn't believe in giving any to other people

 

Mammy has some scary looking shit in her shop.

 

Evangeline poem. 

 

Evangeline - Wikipedia

Evangeline was published in book form on November 1, 1847, and by 1857 it had sold nearly 36,000 copies. During this time, Longfellow's literary payment was at its peak; for Evangeline, he received "a net of twenty-five and sixteenths per cent" royalties, believed to be an all-time high for a poet.

 

Leaving food at the grave of a loved one...that is a good way to get bugs or zombies.

 

That baby is pure evil

 

Dang chickens!

 

mmm...2 sisters cocktails

 

I'm too big to go hiding under beds

 

Dancing with chickens...my favorite

 

Razor knife

 

Is she humping the dead chicken? blood and dirt mouth....don't want none of that.

 

FAN!

 

Toots is pretty good with a razor knife

 

Somebody is murdering that saxophone.

 

Mickey Mouse Club...Wednesday...anything can happen day.

 

Is he remembering all of this on his way down to hell?

 

 

Wing Commander (1999) Show Notes

Ticket

Wing Commander (1999)

PG-13  |   |  Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi  | 12 March 1999 (USA)

 

5.0 Stars (5.0 / 5)

 

 

 

Intro: Oh hi, Wait, why didn't you guys tell me we were fighting cat people. I could have solved this problem with a smart ass Matthew Lillard and a laser pointer. Instead, we wasted 100 minutes with  some story about a space muggle with force nav powers. Spoilers...it wasn't great.

 

IMDB

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0131646/

 

Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wing_Commander_(film)

 

YouTube Trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WP_Y646lEg

 

Where Are They Now

http://arcadesushi.com/see-the-cast-of-wing-commander-then-and-now/

 

Twitter: Wing Commander (1999) -  This movie never existed. Don't you do that to me Scott! Don't you do that. 

Notes:

Historical news reel intro.

 

hehe...Diplomatic Probes.

 

Noo...we are at war with the Kilrathi !

 

This sounds like the script to a bad video game. ohhhh

 

Stainless steal future space mugs.

 

Why that operator got his coffee mug filled to the brim?

 

Those sound like really slow Tie Fighters.

 

This was still using the defacto 90s space explosions

 

Self Destruct malfunction is no good.

 

You can't shoot the Navcom AI. It's behind bullet proof glass like when I try to pay for gas at 2am at the Little Cricket

 

Earth's location...greatest secret in the universe in just about any scifi

 

Why you hiding the chunkiest locket in the galaxy in a book.

 

Hey it's Shaggy...uh...Matthew Lillard.

 

Always liked Freddie Prince/Matthew Lillard dynamic.

 

I fought along side your father. Trope

 

This space coffee is delicious...and it's scotch.

 

Freddie Prince has the best eyebrows in the galaxy...I got a lot of galaxy jokes.

 

You holding your anchor pendant upside down.

 

Hey...it's a tiny sword. Like I put in my drink...yarrr.

 

Matthew Lillard was like is the quintessential know it all young man.

 

Space Mermaid.

 

Space travelers are ship guys.

 

Miss my some gravity well

 

hey!! You are better than a computer at flying...wonder if that will come into play later since they stole the flying AI Computer

 

My dad used to have a Vega. He would tell me to head out to the Vega Sector and plant my ass in the seat every morning before school.

 

Space military.

 

Hey...that is a disc that is not a zip disc or floppy disc...what is it?

 

Look here wing commander dungeon master...stop hypothetically killing me..bang I'm dead...well I rolled a dddddddsaving roll...

 

Pilgrim Muggle (Halfbreed)

 

Space chess

 

Galley fight!!

 

Mr. Linux...I mean Obutu

 

Women in the military. Hot topic for 1999

 

Pilgrims are space gods

 

It's eating suns for breakfast. It's the most important mean of the day.

 

Accents in space are weird...it makes me think about language in space. Don't make me think about language in space.

 

Matrix shot! Space jumps.

 

Shit...we jumped right into an astroid field where that colony was suppose to be.

 

So is this movie all about his wing commander?

 

I don't care if you are the space military...I'm a contractor and we are doing it my way.

 

I don't fly with Pilgrims...just like John Wayne said.

 

Sike! I'm super secret military....cause that is what we do in the military...need to know shit

 

People on military com channels are being shocked by events unfolding in front of them.

 

Without sheilds...space battles would be pretty quick.

 

Ships get hot when they battle...all power diverted from environmental controls to torpedos.

 

This was when space battles were still loud.

 

Those ships look stupid

 

Space Helmet monocles are the best.

 

A lot of ball talk in this movie

 

Got to admit...I was pretty tense during the Rosie crash scene

 

Flight deck crashes suck

 

Lillard...the classic fuck up

 

Space quiet....is it realistic to expect someone to hear you in space if you talk in a ship. I know it was a thing in submarines.

 

Our space shit is like a car...no...like a sail boat...no...it's a submarine.

 

She never existed...that is a stupid game.

 

I wonder if Lillard will have to watch the final battle from his hospital bed.

 

Fighters can't fight without confidence!

 

Aliens like to keep their space ships enviroments all muggy and in green fog.

 

The Aliens are cats! Cat people! Damn curious cats are wanting to come to earth and sniff our butts.

 

You have the gift.

 

Wait? Is that his dad? Wait...or is he just a space muggle?

 

Angel is a stupid space name.

 

Goodbye Angel...you will most likely die...but probably not.

 

My space ship sounds like a single engine prop plane from WWI

 

Lower the shields...screw the guys down on deck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bad Boys II (2003) Show Notes

Ticket

Bad Boys II (2003)

R  |   |  Action, Comedy, Crime  |  18 July 2003 (USA)

 

5.0 Stars (5.0 / 5)

 

 

 

Intro: Oh hi guys, Give me just a second.. I'm finishing up Bad Boys II. Man. I can't believe this movie is 2 hours long...dude what a ride...wait...Cuba...why are they in Cuba...is this a post roll scene? where are the f'ing credits? I've already given you 2 hours of my life Michael Bay! Roll the stinking credits already ya attention whore.

 

IMDB

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097987

 

Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_Boys_II

 

YouTube Trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCSkxu6Fnlk

 

Where Are They Now

http://madamenoire.com/524294/where-are-they-now-the-cast-of-bad-boys-20-years-later/

 

Twitter: Bad Boys II (2003) - More Mexican Standoffs Than A Taco Bell Toilet

 

Notes:

Making Mud Flap X

 

Amsterdam Arbor to Miami Florida

 

Hello..I am on the phone like a bad guy on Miami Vice.

 

Coffins make great X transport

 

Bitches be playing with my guns and shooting the faces off my busts

 

Scramble the Helo...we will show them drug smugglers.

 

Suckers...we got a boat tarp. You can't catch us

 

Where is Crocket and Tubs when you need them?

 

Satellite phones...got to miss them.

 

This intro would be a lot slower before cell phones.

 

The Angriest Chief...Henry Rollins.

 

The camera never stops tracking in Michael bay movies.

 

Rats be eating my monies.

 

My lens is flaring...like a JJ Abrams movie

 

Sorry I busted up your white power drug party.

 

Bad Boys song...this whole movie is based off Cops Bad Boys song...

 

Mexican Standoff at a white power drug deal

 

Cops are on a spiritual journey...trying to de-escalate.

 

This was Will Smith at his buffest.

 

He goes to bed early for this shit.

 

Things must blow up...bad guys must fly in slow mo.

 

Will Smith...Do a barrel roll.

 

The worst therapist ever..WooSaaa

 

Bunch of men hugging and kissuing is some cult. WooSaaa

 

Fast cars, drugs, techno/gangsta music and loose women. It's Michael Bay all the way baby.

 

That porsche has a stupid horn.

 

Trope: Getting with your Partner's sister, mother or daughter who is over protective of their family. We need to keep it on the down low to create some tension.
(family man with swinging single partner)

Above ground pools are awesome. $3900 dollars

 

Yo it's Larry...it's hot.

 

Miller Geniune Draft

 

Who are these Jamaciaan looking gang members who got war horns and miami sports cars?

 

More proof that humans look stupid driving cars. When your door is missing you realize just how stupid you look...especially if you are wearing a white pantsuit.

 

Going to try not to be racist here...but white people look like gangsters in white suits...black people look suave.

 

The chief is trying to find his Zen and is Joey Pants.

 

Cops busting up the occassional informant small business front.

 

The Devil is not welcome heeeeere!

 

Back to wall carosel shots are cool also, nausianting.

 

Haitians.

 

haha...does Martin Lawerence know how cameras work? You don't eyeball a lcd screen.

 

Gay jokes. Cause these guys are guys.

 

Zook....pest control

 

Worker rats are marsupials.

 

How many times can you say the P word in a movie? Used to be counting Fs

 

Rat humping...missionary style.

 

Well that went south

 

No wonder Will Smith is always talking about me-ami...all the thong...feet are gross.

 

So the cops aren't smart enough to send a waterproof wire to a beach party.

 

Russian mob bosses getting chopped up.

 

revisiting the con you took down earlier in the movie.

 

Car Jacking Dan Marino in Miami...why not.

 

Racist are easier to hate...bad guys +2

 

Bay at his best...best choregraphed car dancing scenes

 

Dead man on board! hehe

 

There must not be any airbags in these cars. So many of these scenes should have had air bags popping out.

 

Car Chase...turns to foot chase...turns to mass transit chase...

 

Captain Angry.

 

hehe...poor ole Reggie...but actually liked his harrassment by angry dad and uncle

 

Dead titties.

 

I smell dead people.

 

High Lawrence is my favorite Lawrence.

 

Coast Guard is basically useless in this movie.

 

Dangit...why you kill my favorite Russian!!

 

Gee I wonder if they will kidnap Martin's sister?

 

This is what we do! This is my catch phrase...

 

At 2 hours this movie should have been over...Looks like there is another 30 minute movie to recover the sister.

 

This movie has remote control cars that would be drones today in a movie

 

Pretty sure you can't go Miami PD to being the lead in a military operation..

 

How many Mexican standoffs can a movie have? This many.

 

Bay always gets style points.

 

 

No Holds Barred (1989) Show Notes

Ticket

No Holds Barred (1989)

PG-13  |   |  Action  |  2 June 1989 (USA)

 

5.0 Stars (5.0 / 5)

 

 

 

Intro: Oh hi, Come on in. Thanks for stopping by. Alright, So we still have a few positions left to fill for our big Hollywood Movie ...let's see...How about...Little Person in a cage...hmmm...you are kind of "biggish" for that...sooo...how about shirt ripper starter...can you handle a pair of scissors? Oh...wait...I'm sorry...it looks like Tommy Lister requested that job already...which reminds me...I better call our insurance guy. Alright alright...I think I have it here. Sweaty Oil Spritzer Assistant....we got the best in the business but we have a feeling they are going to need some hugs after each take.

 

IMDB

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097987

 

Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Holds_Barred_(1989_film)

 

YouTube Trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLtgLGBWCC0

 

Where Are They Now

http://www.newsflow24.com/heres-what-the-cast-of-no-holds-barred-has-been-up-to-918s

 

Twitter: No Holds Barred (1989) - Like  things that bad guys claim they eat for  breakfast. Dookie.    

 

Notes:

 

You don't usually get this many Studio Placards

 

Mean Gene!!

 

I love listening to Monday Morning Wrestling Motivation

 

Nothing better than a bunch of Muscular Men in costumes yelling

 

Rip 'Em...I don't think that means what you think that means

 

Why couldn't it just been Hulk Hogan...Everybody else is themselves.

 

Tighty Whiteys.

 

The Rip 'Em Sign

 

Can you buy rip shirts? Dunno...but you can make 'em 

 

https://www.google.com/search?espv=2&q=Shirts+for+ripping&oq=Shirts+for+ripping&gs_l=serp.3..0i22i30l4.3059.6463.0.6756.20.19.1.0.0.0.223.2037.7j10j1.18.0....0...1.1.64.serp..1.19.2038.eg4p0Q0954o

 

The fact that Hulk Hogan has a hair halo mullet is awesome.

 

Wrestling is all "wait for it..." I'm down...nope...I'm up.

 

That is not how remotes work...if you throw a remote at the wall the TV's do not go staticy

 

I want this Jock Ass.

 

Do we consider Wrestlers Jocks?

 

Is Rip 'Em aware he is throwing the crips gang sign?

 

Sweet nothings...waller around with sweat hogs

 

Corporate Network bad assery

 

It's good to see Rip wore his power Leotard to the corporate meeting. It's my best Leotard!

 

This corporate meeting is going on like a wrestling match.

 

Drum beat...bum bum bum...shake-a shake-a shake-a...bass drum...snare...bring in the saxophone!!

 

That is not how doors work if you kick them out.

 

The sweat boy in this movie was pretty good...the sweatscalation was always on point...Continuity of sweat

 

Hulk Hogan thinks he is the Hulk.

 

Cool...time for some Hair Metal during this fight scene.

 

Did the Limo driver piss out of his ass...hahahaha...what is that smell...Dookie...made me laugh.

 

Bring in the hottie...that's how you handle a macho man. or Hulk Hogan

 

Beautiful and smart.

 

Hot Dawwg

 

Antoine is new.

 

Of course Rip is smarter and more worldly than others estimate him to be.

 

Meanwhile down at the tatoo and wrestling bar.

 

You must be looking for the gay bar.

 

I know this place doesn't exist..

 

laid, relaid and parlaid

 

Guys in leather vests, cutoff shirts...you sure this ain't the gay bar.

 

Chaw man is grody.

 

Why do they have a small person in a hanging cage? How do you pitch that?

 

Bleed the lizard? No

 

V.D. Room....that is disturbing.

 

The horrors of Wresling bar restroom... Pee Troughs are the worst.

 

Hippies Stink

 

A tiny wang.

 

No Count Bar.

 

The Tiny Wangers...TINY...

 

Enter Player 2

 

Anybody who shows up in ripped prison uniform has a back story.

 

Kicked someone in the brain

 

Zeus!

 

Do people still write TV networks?

 

Trope. You can't control the beast. The fighter that kills.

 

Corporate Jew Hip Hop Stars - Wee Wang Twins, Little Wang...basically any name that is easily interchangeable with wang.

 

Bringing fists to a gun fight..

 

More Bar Brawls than a wrestling match.

 

Macho Man is macho...

 

Where does Rip 'Em shop for clothes? Sweating To The Oldies Mart? 

 

If Lady was not planning on a booty call then why is she wearing sexy lingerie? Silk and Lace with French Cut Panties.

 

Aww...he's a gentleman...he put up a partition.

 

Implied masturbation...nope...bed side pushups...check out them buns...huns..

Why is he wearing man panties?

 

Bad guys are always eating things for breakfast that they shouldn't be...or at least that is their claim. 

 

Zeus does the Wonder Woman Bracelet Slap.

 

Aww...loves charity work.

 

All bad guys own helicopters.

 

Why does Zeus walk like that...

 

Zeus could use some unibrow maintenance

 

Everybody is watching! 

 

Attempted Rape...Motorcycle face plant into a tree...payment in kind.

 

Meanwhile down at the steel/wrestling plant....where we make steel and wrestlers..

 

Can't get no time off to enjoy your hobby...no problem...we will bring fake fight club to you.

 

Rip's little brother is going to end up in the hospital...You gotta have something to fight for.

 

Zeus loves VIPs and those little Danish Wedding Cookies...but mostly VIPs

 

Little Rip

 

Randy...Raaaandy

 

That moment when the bad guy thinks...damn...maybe I went too far...too late now...onward!!

 

Release the beast...Rip is civilized until you hurt his love...then he is a monster!!

 

I hate this gym equipment!!

 

Easily fooled by projection Zeus.

 

Bad guys laugh a lot...and annoyingly.

 

Fighting for your hospitalized loved ones. REVENGE TIME!

 

I didn't expect to have so many feels.

 

How bad did he get beat up...got to do physical therapy...

 

Aqua Net product placement.

 

Rolling Randy in.

 

What a wrestling farce. People dressed up and fancy stage settings...they wanted brutality...but the 1%ers can't handle it.

 

Knee to the balls...that is how you start a fight...not a fist bump. Scroat Bump. I didn't know we were fighting with no bars. Wait...

 

Wrestlers are always hurting their backs when they fall on it.

 

That's Not How That Works: If someone holds an elevator door and you push a bunch of buttons...it doesn't close harder.

 

The helpless surrogate...we are powerless.

 

 

Rambo: First Blood (1982) Show Notes

Ticket

Rambo First Blood (1982)

R  |   |  Action, Thriller  |  22 October 1982 (USA)

 

5.0 Stars (5.0 / 5)

 

 

 

Intro: Oh hi, You know guys...Troma Entertainment has done it to me again... I watched 30 minutes of Hambo: Fist Blood before I realized I had been duped. 

 

Gulf War veteran and drifter John . Hambo wanders into a small Utah town in search of an old friend and Hambone Team partner. To his chagrin his buddy died from too much tang during the 80s. HAMBONING!

 

IMDB

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083944/

Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Blood

YouTube Trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjptQSfuTy8

 

Twitter: First Blood (1982) - Like keeping a knife in your smelly vagrant butt crack. No one wants to touch your crack knife Rambo. Why is he touching your knife.

 

Notes:

White Outlined Red Font. FIRST FONT!

 

Alf Humprhies...Alf.

 

Hey...who is this vagrant.

 

Wonder how long it took stallone to grow that beautiful hair.

 

Never think of a stranger walking with a backpack as a welcome guest

 

is that guys name Herb Nanas? yeah..he wins the name game

 

Delmar ain't here. Delmar is gone. Look boy...Delmar is dead.

 

Served on the same team in Nam.

 

Delmar was a big dude.

 

Delmar died from drinking Tang in Nam? ooooh...agent orange...cancer...caught up...damnit Delmar...why you do and die on me.

 

Gateway to Holidayland

 

It ain't safe to walk on the side of the road like that.

 

The sherrif is gassy.

 

Have a coke and a smile...ahhh...the 70s

 

Rambo has a 'eat shit and die' look on his face.

 

Wearing a flag and looking like you do...that pissed people off in the 70s...bunch of jerks.

 

Drifters bad!

 

Sherrif gets paid to keep the town boring.

 

Portland...get out.

 

Get a haircut and take a bath gets rid of the hassles.

 

The sherrif has a good noses for smelly people and no filter on his mouth when it comes to telling people.

 

Hey...do you need a lift back over the bridge.

 

Well that escalating quickly.

 

Found your knife! How could you miss it. Bet it smells like ass crack.

 

What do you hunt with a knife? stuff.

 

You could not kill an elephant with that knife.

 

Deputy Ginger says "come on in and get your anus examined."

 

Leroy likes to sling paint....

 

Mustache Nam...that's what they used to call me in the hole back in Nam.

 

Cops don't like nocompliance.

 

Stallone is hairless...cept on his head.

 

That waterpressure looks hard enough to hurt for real.

 

Mitch don't like watersports.

 

was this the 70s or the 1800s. Who shaves with a straight razor.

 

Post Tramatic Stress was hardly understood at the time.

 

Rambo beat up the police department.

 

Galt don't give a fook. He'll shoot whoever gets in the way.

 

Is it really neccessary to hit the rail road hump at max speed and jump a mile. Who cares...looks cool.

 

The motorcycle stunt man is like..close enough.

 

This movie is intense. This is what an action movie is suppose to be.

 

What great shots.

 

How often do police cars not flip in movies.

 

Man I wanted a Rambo Knife when I was a kid. and i got one too!

 

Get Orville's damn dogs out here.

 

Rambo may be awesome at fighting his way out of a prison...but he needs some fashion skills. Tarp Shirt.

 

Did we mention that this cliff is high....cause if not. VERTICAL PAN...

 

What do you do when you come to a cliff in a movie when running away...you jump...nope...climb down.

 

Man...Galt wants to shoot someone.

 

A true bad guy...even threatens to kill the pilot.

 

Stallone actually broke a rib on that fall.

 

You killed Galt!

 

I see dead people...mostly because I am holding him in my arms.

 

Art Galt...what a horrible name.

 

Rambo knife has everything...including sewing kit. For the flesh!

 

Down in the gorge.

 

I need me a Teletype.

 

Green Beret....it was all the rage.

 

Look at him Deputy Ginger...Art Galt is dead!!

 

Do not be pinning medals to my liver.

 

Dead dog. How would we feel if we had seen him kill the dog.

 

The hunters become the hunted.

 

I need me a rain hat for my hat.

 

Deputy Ginger took it right to the ass

 

Also, scared the crap out of me. Good hiding.

 

On a scale of 1 to 110...would not care to get stabbed in the ass by a green beret who was hiding in the brush.

 

It's funny how we think. We can pull for someone as long as he doesn't kill the guys just doing their job. He can maim them and we are still ok.

 

now I want a Rambo/Frozen mashup of let it go.

 

Rambo and Frozen Let it go mashup - Google Search

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLlfqIMfspg

 

Characters who can't let it go...self destruction...you are headed for self destruction.

 

God didn't make Rambo...I did.

 

The ole reveral...I'm rescuing you...not rescuing him.

 

Things that will make a billy goat puke... 1. ipicath syrup. 2. antifreeze. 3. licking stallones bald butt crack

 

You can't come back from the war.

 

Rambo is convinced the cops drew first blood...I wonder if the book involves a knife slicing or is he refering to the gun shot on the arm?

 

There is no way that kid will be able to find that gun.

 

not enough guns have suitcase handles on them.

 

Nobody listens to the sherrif about not shooting.

 

National guard has to love this movie.

 

Does the national guard carry around rocket launchers?

 

Jerkwater, USA

 

If it don't light...I break it. I'M RAMBO!!

 

I am a little bit claustophobic. and that cave scene gave me the heebies.

 

Rats! Why did it have to be Rodents Of Unusual Size.

 

"When in doubt kill.'

 

Rotten ladders.

 

Carjacked by Rambo.

 

That Rambo Guy is on the loose again.

 

Always love moving driving that requires large steering motions. I about wrecked when I first started to drive trying to drive like I had always seen in the movies.

 

Man...that military truck took that police car like a champ. boooya!

 

Uh oh...he's got the heavy guns

 

Alright, I'm no longer on Rambo's side. He just blew up a gas station and destroyed military property.

 

Wait...did one of the guys say earlier that that was his shop? Cause then it would feel justified.

 

I need me a loudspeaker on our sherrif's office for telling the citizens to evacuate.

 

Rambo's body stole a truck.

 

Rambo done come to town.

 

Why I do believe RAmbo is a pyro

 

Why do angry?

 

Only one man is gonna live.

 

Using bullets to start a fire...highly inefficient.

 

It's hard to look cool when firing a fully automatic weapon with lots of recoil. It looks like the gun is owning you.

 

Yes...the obligatory...I got shot while holding a gun...I must shoot into the air..

 

Have a coke and a smile (drugs) it's a statement.

 

Nothing is over!!

 

Shine, Please, Shine.

 

That closing speech is amazing. Got to cry