[usr 5.0] *WARNING : My show notes are unrated. I do not censor my thoughts while making notes. Listen Now
Phase IV (1974)
– FilmSack Edition
Opener: Look here professor “Ant Bite,” I saw the thing back at the crop circles too but I didn’t want to tell you I saw the thing cause I was afraid it might freak you out…cause…you know…ants… geometry. I mean…sure math is the universal language…but geometry…well…that’s the universal mambo. Mambo…Jambo…you know…just some facts on hand. Speaking of which…you need to go decontaminate that thing. It’s gross. Also, you are one hairy dude…and that is coming from a hairy dude. so…take it for what it’s worth. (In the key of Pink Panther) Dead ant…Dead ant…dead ant
The ants faxed us another math problem that looks suspiciously like an olive…I would say they are either saying you are the pits Professor (snicker)….or they are seeking peace through Martini’s. Either way….I’m going to go take another decontamination shower with the Farmer’s mentally handicapped granddaughter….you are more than welcome to join us. But now I am hankering for a martini…so if you come…bring drinks.
Twitter: Phase IV (1974) In a word “educate it…” That’s 2 words professor bug bite.
Like a three way with 2 hairy guys in a contamination chamber. Sure…it’s artsy…but gross…grody to the max. RELEASE THE CREEPY CRAWLERS
Stuff I Loved:
Phase I – Start the damn movie.
It’s a big eye in the sky.
It’s a hole in the ground.
An Englishmen got nervous!
Ant meetings. It’s the end of the world!
Is these alien ants!
Green Ass Ant…what you got in your ass.
Living The Ant Life
Hey….we got “Facts on hand!”
Paradise City…That didn’t work out so well did it. It looks like Slash has been here.
Dead birds…birds are always the first to go.
Forget the steady cam…we got random shaky cam.
Now who left those cloths out on the line.
Nice chest hair.
The population moved itself off…couldn’t say…the people left?
Who talks like this. Positive contact with the whales.
2nd week we talk about comparing something to a hole in the ground.
Looks like pillars screaming.
Spy camera! So hip…so ster.
Sure is a lot of dirt in the desert…until you get to the corn fields.
It’s best to not give your assistant any help…better to let him learn at his own pace.
Ditch Fire…sounds like a good plan Farmer Brown.
Horse Hottie enters.
Stupid City folk.
“They weren’t talking about those ants.”
I got Mildred all chained up.
The farmers wife
The Farmers Daughter is special….she never gets off her horse…just rides around and doesn’t talk to the city folk…then waves at the m as they leave and CAN’T SEE HER!
PHASE II finally…I thought they had forgotten about the phases!
Phase II has a lot more buttons and punch cards.
The singing towers….reminds me of The Dark Crystal
“This is not a controlled experiment.”
Can you hurry up the ants. Yeah…we can blow up their towers…that ought piss ’em off.
“Let see some activity!”
Vectors and shit…
I take my ant signals….heheh
Always with the dust clouds behind the cars.
Damn ants are all over the place!
Make up for time lag…don’t worry about it…
Little squiggle…it’s science…
That means those little mothers talk to one another.
Spray them with mountain dew!
Well shit…looks like we killed the farmer and his wife with our mountain dew…oh well.
Why are their suits sparkly?
Pump…primed…time to suck.
Ahhhh yeah…time for a 3 way “decontamination…” if you know what I mean.
Good thing the Farmers daughter is such a cliche.
No…your horse was shot.
Uh oh…you’ve been bitten.
Ant Drama…Do you have the feels for the Ants?
Knock down the towers eh? well we hadn’t thought of ….oh…we already did that
It’s a rather crude language…duh…it’s ants…dumbass
RELEASE THE CREEPY CRAWLERS! scorpion…check…iguana…check…slither snake…check.
Solar power baby! The ants have solar weapons!
Remember me…from the 3 way?
no parents? Daddy issues.
Powdered eggs…powdered milk…dehydrated bacon…
So angry. Why is he so angry.
In a word “educate it…” That’s 2 words professor bug bite.
Broadcast to the mounds
Sweaty Hairy Chest…now that is hot.
The Kim Kardasian Of Ants.
and the Praying Mantis watches…waiting…nom nom nom….
Watcher ant…making sure the drone gets the job done on those wires…if not
Some ants were harmed in the filming of this movie.
Damn Air Conditioner
Loud screaching sound…how many people left the theater during this movie I wonder…at home I could turn that shit down…TURN OWN FOR WHAT
Dead ants…dead ants
So the ants win…cause their A/C is out anyways.
“Must say…the things I am typing…” love when people do that.
They always say math is the universal language…but what the hell can you communicate with math?
“Alright…I’m gonna need a scene where i get to get really close up on the Farmer’s Granddaughter’s body…under the shirt.”
One warning light to rule them all. Red alert!
Oh dear lord…we are only on Phase III !! Wait are these the acts of a movie as well?
What message! The math problem you sent them?
I get the effect you are going for…that they ants are devouring the animal…but the ants would not move that fast…they are organised not sped up.
The answer is olive. The answer to my math problem is olive…these ants are idiots.
We have to sacrifice the virgin. You are a virgin right?
That was the last coffee is asshole!
Oh…BTW…the dot is you doctor ant bite.
The ants set a trap is that PHASE IV?
Here comes the thumbs up out of the dirt.
We’ve just been keeping the girl to animate her dead carcass?
MY GIRLFRIENDS SHOW NOTES/POEM
phase 1…calm and cool to hot and angry. Crazy ant with big green butt scuttles along as if it were drunk, the loner ant bypasses the ant party and makes it way to watch the large lady ant giving birth. Deep darth vadar ant sounds symbolize nothing. Ants on crack, oh no!!!!!Sci fi movie or documentary, not sure? The ants devoure a spider or mouse or something, car speeding to the middle of nowhere, one towel blowing in the wind, WC 357412, men appear, they speak.Hot woman enters RIDING a HORSE, man is aroused! Kill the ants, spray um, spray um, quicker, nooow. Busy body housewife, shut it!
Phase 2, experiment begins. Sounds and buttons, from manmade to machine wisdom, here we go! Tall poles singing to the ant Gods in the sky, crazy ass boyfriend singing with them. Angering the ants by blowing up the singing poles, asswipes. The last pole falls, movement begins. We must rebuild the poles, kill the horses! Pretty indian woman fights for horse, horse dies, woman loses. Sounds like mice, commanding ants, pretty green alian flourescent lights. Ant invasion, try to run old people off the rode; while at the office……really bad dialogue, get a load of these little mothers! Green goo everywhere, cacti covered in sand. ET is not here but his tent is, spacemen killed the old people, why???Suicide ants, holy hands, evil at its best. Pretty lady faints, lets all take a shower, party time. Ants are not attractrive, not at all but the indian woman who is not an indian is quite attractive but quite young and stupid. The ants killed my horse, let us free them so they can kill me!Where are you going with that honeycomb looking nastiness? Big nasty darth vadar noise making bitch is greedy, gotta poop the pupa. Scorpion appears,snake on the move, ants are calling for back-up, beware. Bright lights, ET gone home.Dirty old man, shy young girl, bowchickabow. Bacon in a cup, yum!Hummmmmmmmmmmm, Take me home, antman with the nasty hand.White noise, sweaty bodies, piercing sounds, going deaf.Ant eating wires, preying mantus attacks. All about that bass goes down, butt juice everywhere. Ginormous ant funeral.Elliot, I’m back. Old man goin crazy, kill the ants, kill the ants…FAIL!!!
Phase 3, Thank goodness, was not sure if we would make it.Cute mouse dies, booooo.These scientists are pretty slow, pretty lady must be sacrificed. A stroll through the ant invested park makes pretty lady a dumb bitch.The queen is waiting, in the hole of darkness man falls. Down the rabbit hole goes number 2, where is Alice? There she is, in the sand, time to get busy…
Phase 4 begins….fade out, no camping for me this summer