Proof Of Life (2000) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

 

Oh hi,

Shhh…do you guys hear that? It’s the Flutey Tootey music of Danny Elfman. You know what that means dont’cha. That’s right. We are about to watch one of them military action thrillers that takes place in the  jungle.

But before we do that… I’m gonna need some proof of life…maybe Scott could hold up his iPad with today’s FAKE NEWS or Maybe Randy could show me his hobbit feet and the latest WoW Release notes.

No wait! I got it….Ibbott…find a cure for Alzheimer’s while playing a cover of Van Morrison’s “I’ll be your lover, too”

Ahhh…that’s the stuff.

Also, no one talk about this movie in front of Dennis Quaid…ever…infinity

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Rounders (1998) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Listen, here’s the thing.

If you can’t spot the sucker in your first half hour of this movie, then you are the sucker.

Guys around here’ll tell ya… you “sack” for a living. But It’s like any other content creation endeavor. You can’t sack for a living. You grind it out. Like toothpaste after your significant other squeezes from the top of the tube. WHY!

Also, here are some things I’ve heard from my day to day life as a podcaster.

“If it don’t hurt. Slam it in the car door.” – Mike “The Italian Ice” Rodriguez.

and

“Sucking on a fountain straw like that will get you face punched dude.” – Drunk Guy on 5th

and finally

“Winners floss.” – Tommy The Tooth

Gawd, how boring is something when you have nothing better to do than sit around quoting assholes and making up names for shit. Don’t splash the pot!

 

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License To Drive (1988) – Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

This week’s FilmHack inspired me to start my own FanFic Film Play called “License to Lose” where Grandpa Anderson has to fight the DMV in order keep his license after he is diagnosed with dementia.

License to Lose will most likely be a senior-citizen adventure film starring Corey Feldman as a cantankerous old grandpa who must prove he can still drive after his dick son-in-law reports him to the DMV due to a controversial diagnosis of moderate dementia and results in his license being revoked.

Hilarity ensues as Grandpa Feldman tries to get frisky with his DMV examiner in the back seat of his Caddy. Oh Grandpa…you can’t drive in the back seat.

Further hi-jinx follow when Grandpa Feldman tries to order a vanity plate from a high tech kiosk but discovers that “Grandpa” is already taken. Sure he tries Grandpa1, GrandpaRulez, Grandpa with @ symbols for A’s….all taken. That is until he wallops the monitor with a cane. Bingo!

If you are still listening…give me a call.

Coming to a theater…or not…near you…or not.

Continue reading “License To Drive (1988) – Show Notes”

Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) – Show Notes

INTRO:

Oh hi,

This week on LeatherSack we cannibalize a horror classic.

5 youths hop in their hipster van on a quest to uncover the answer to the mystery “Is grandpa where we buried him?” Things really escalate when the gang runs out of gas and must spend the night in an old dilapidated house next door to a family of cannibals.

The action really picks up when Fred and Daphne stumble into some real horror when they follow the “sounds of gas” right into the neighbor’s kill room.

“is that gas? I hear gas”

After Fred and Daphne fail to return, Velma dispatches as a search party of one. Uncharacteristically, Jerry…er…Velma..doesn’t lose his glasses but does take a hatchet to the face while screaming like a girl…because…she is one.

Finally, Shaggy and Scooby are left all alone and must decide between their friends and food but since Jerry…er…Velma took the damn keys the duo heads over to…you guessed it…the neighbor’s house. On the way there Scooby takes a Chain Saw to the chest, ruining his appetite for BBQ for at least a week and Shaggy fails to unmask the Villain but does manage to get away by running in and out of rooms while being chased by vampires, mummies and other baddies.

It’s hilariously horrific.

The End. and in the words of the great Douglas “Duddits” – Scooby Dooby Doo we got some work to do now.. Chain Saw Dance.

Continue reading “Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) – Show Notes”

New Nightmare (1994) Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

And Welcome to Autopsies Are Us, where our motto is “Please don’t cry. The head is going to be alright for the funeral.”

Now if you could please excuse me for just a moment while I try to find an appropriate surface to put down my coffee and lemon poppy seed bread.

Oh wait…there is no such surface in a morgue! So why are we always eating something in here! Do we not get breaks! Us morticians really need to unionize or go on a diet or something. Death makes me hungry.

Hmmm…Let me just see what is under this sheet…maybe there is someplace I can put…

Oh my God… hurk that’s why we don’t lift the sheet past the face. Hurk. Hurk.

Uh oh, Poppy Seed Bread…return to sender. Nope…nope…just some foamy milk substance.

One, Two Dylon’s screaming for you.

LINKS

New Nightmare (1994)

Directed by Wes Craven. With Heather Langenkamp, Robert Englund, Jeff Davis, Miko Hughes. A demonic force has chosen Freddy Krueger as its portal to the real world. Can Heather Langenkamp play the part of Nancy one last time and trap the evil trying to enter our world?

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare – Wikipedia

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare is a 1994 American slasher film written and directed by Wes Craven, the original creator of A Nightmare on Elm Street .

TWITTER

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994) – Like a game of  Freddy’s: Crossy Road. Never download again.

SHOW NOTES

Ahhh… New Line Cinema…The Studio Freddy Built.

Kids laughing

UMC hammer?

This metal hand is alive!! and who has burning

Clever to the hand!! More blood! Don’t be stingy with the blood!

There is Wes now…drinking something…what is he drinking?

So we are on the set of a new Freddy movie? Is this her story? is she drinking Barqs with a straw!

That is a huge Chinese Takeout box.

Bull Tendons. Nerve bundles from a live Doberman?

Picked up a signal from an 80s walkie talkie?

Uh oh…that hand just went all Thing on them.

Oh…Heather was having a nightmare.

That is a serious earthquake.

Do you call your kids Chief?

Quakewatch! 6.8 quake. Oh…so the one they felt was not even the big quake it was an aftershock.

Who has been calling her? Harassing phone calls.

We are starting to get hints and variations of the old Nightmare on Elm Street music.

Those cracks look like Freddy Claws!

Uh oh…kid is watching your performance from the first movie….what the hell is wrong with that kid.

Ye olde house phone.

One…Two…phone call is for you….oh…AND FREDDY’S COMING FOR YOU!

Geez…who cares if Freddy is coming. Earthquakes are a more immediate danger.

The doorbell rang…did she think Freddy was at the door?

LA Limousine Ma’am…

Why does 1994 look so much more like modern film making than 1988 and prior?

LA Lazy Limousine service. We prefer to call you.

Is Julie going to eat that damn orange or not!?

Limo driver likes the big laugh…

Is Heather doing stuff on TV?

My son? No…You mean the son of Freddy? no

Remember when Freddy was dead? yeah that was a thing.

Look at all those Fred Heads.

I like the idea that Hollywood back lots have people walking around in full costume and juggling.

This movie would be shot differently today. With so much reality TV we would for sure film this more like reality TV.

Thanks for the show Kim.

Nope. Got kids now. Horror movies…not for kids.

Answer the damn phone Bob! “We got people for that.”

“Never sleep again…”…Redrum.

Rex is the best. Thanks cotton filled dinosaur! He saved me.

You ain’t gonna be able to sew that Rex….dump that trash and go get a new Rex.

Semper Fi… Cut to the Chase…..cause his name is CHASE!

Dillon is having…episodes.

They have a cheetah in the living room with a saddle…yeah…no wonder the kid is freaked out.

Chuck and Terry are clowns…forget them!

Chase don’t believe you Heather.

Flammable Ford…

Oh no…the Freddy glove is gone!

So the kid is having nightmares…so read him a scary ass Fairy Tale of Hansel and Gretels.

This kid is Freddy’s for sure.

Red yarn for Rex wounds. Good thing you are an actress.

Night Night…Sleep Tight…Don’t Let The Cenobites Bite.

If the birds don’t eat them first.

Earthquakes and falling asleep at the wheel are the real horrors in this movie and poor phone reception.

Chase took a glove to the crotch.

The real nightmare is the police showing up at your door.

Is that a thing you can do? Just head on down to the morgue and walk on in.

I want to see it all…..The head is going to be alright for the funeral..I mean..if that is what you are worried about.

A little puke please.

Wes was apparently going through his Nature disaster phase.

Freddy hides in the corners of coffins.

I’m starting to think the kid is the new nightmare

being a parent is the new Nightmare

ok….maybe you are right…maybe he is crazy.

I would not have easy access to a pool if I had Dillion living in my house.

He is putting things in your mail and you are keeping it in a drawer.

Oh…England is a painter.

Mom Jeans!

I need a pair of those old violet shaded glasses.

I want to be scared for this kid…but he cracks me up too much.

I like how the new Freddy glove stalks the bed like a dorsal fin of a shark.

I always dug how Freddy can start to build power while you are half asleep so you can’t tell what is dream versus what is reality.

haha…won’t answer the phone? I’ll send you a letter every day until you do.

Phone lickers! Just like in the original.

Foam puke is the best puke.

LIAR! He said he was never gonna sleep again!

Hey…it’s the nurse who is in all those insidious movies….and that kid kind of looks like this kid.

Home!

Mmm….kids love pills…yep…

ahhh yeah. I chipmunked those pills.

Wake up lady!!

Tell us all about the rules Wes!

A new fault under the city.

Make another movie! With Johnny Depp?

reading the Jama

Sleep deprivation….more coffee!

Found them! Brutally slashed to death.

You shouldn’t keep a coffee pot in your bedroom Heather…

Shit…good jump scare from the closet Freddy.

Miss Me? Not as much as you would think.

Dylan is in Intensive care…in an oxygen tent. We decided not to call you…THE MOTHER!

She forgot the dino! Bad mom

This movie makes me sleepy.

What did they feed that kid? Dark brown sludge.

Them nurses can’t give them shots like that to a kid.

Heather is going gray.

Julie is so screwed.

Nurses who run!

What is play Skin The Cat?

Reach for me. At least stand up Dylan.

haha…Heather threw an elbow to that nurse’s gut.

I don’t think that is how drugs work for sleeping. Sleep walking does not allow you to be awake anyways.

Don’t play crossy road Dylan!

Freddy Crossy Road.

This highway scene is more intense than it should be.

Multi-fred!

I like that actor dad plays surrogate dad.

So. Dinosaurs can defeat Freddy.

Why are you calling me Nancy John? Why are you calling me John?

Movies are becoming reality.

The Bed…it’s where bad things emerge.

Dad always says “yeah, sure.”

The sleeping pills are breadcrumbs

Nooo…not Rex! anybody but Rex! I cried a little.

You do not take gel coated capsules with no water. That shit just sticks to you.

I think you have had enough Nancy. 3  Sleeping pills will get you there.

ouch…that is a bad bed slide.

Was that a pterodactyl

Freddy is supposed to be some ancient terror.

Snake to the eye

I like Freddy’s new trenchcoat.

That kid is always cutting people’s tendons or stabbing the back of legs.

Sins are listed on the wall.

Oh I know…I’ll hide here in this firepit!

I don’t understand. Fred can stretch.

Wait Freddy said “Meet your maker to Nancy. Is he implying he made her? or is this a who made who situation.

Freddy could not stretch his arm until Nancy woke up in her dream.

Freddy has got one of them dislocating jaws.

Stab to the crotch is one of Fred’s weaknesses.

Perforated tongue!

Now he has a forked tongue. We are certainly bringing comparisons to snake/devil/satan.

Freddy’s home is Romanesque in nature.

It’s the script. If you write the script Freddy will stay where he belongs. On the screen.

Oh hi,

One, Two Dylon’s screaming for you.

Three, Four He’s doing it some more

Five, Six  Your kid makes me sick(s)

Seven, Eight It’s your kid I hate(s)

Nine, Ten Let’s never do this again

 

One, Two Freddy’s got a crush on you

Three, Four Freddy’s at your door

Five, Six Flowers on a stick

Seven, Eight Let’s go on a date

Nine, Ten I promise to stop when you say when.

Oh hi,

My name is Rex. I’m Tyrannical.

 

Dreamcatcher (2003) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi,

Greetings human, I am Dudley Duddits of the  Space Mounties and I am in pursuit of Donnie Duddits. He’s….uh…how do you humans say…special?

Apparently, he has emotionally attached himself to a cartoon dog with a speech impediment and hopes to endear himself to you humans by taking on these properties. Wow, this is more complicated than necessary.

Anywho, have you encountered such a being?

Also, did you know, it’s butt weasel season? Be sure to cover your orifices human.

Coincidently, we have been monitoring your people…and I have a friendly bet going with the crew.

if it is bestiality when a human attempts to mate with an animal…gross by the way…is it then called me-stiality when one attempts to please oneself? The Galaxy wants to know.

Geez, how much Oxy and Day time TV was King watching when he wrote this. Kiss my bender.

LINKS

Dreamcatcher (2003)

Directed by Lawrence Kasdan. With Morgan Freeman, Thomas Jane, Jason Lee, Damian Lewis. Friends on a camping trip discover that the town they’re vacationing in is being plagued in an unusual fashion by parasitic aliens from outer space.

Dreamcatcher (2003 film) – Wikipedia

Dreamcatcher is a 2003 American science fiction horror film based on Stephen King’s novel of the same name. Directed by Lawrence Kasdan and co-written by Kasdan and screenwriter William Goldman, the film stars Damian Lewis, Thomas Jane, Jason Lee and Timothy Olyphant as four friends who encounter an invasion of parasitic aliens.

 

TWITTER

Dreamcatcher (2003) – Like expressing something in 280 characters when 140 is sufficient. Still room for a Butt Weasels.

SHOW NOTES

This sure is a lot of opening credits

This was 5 minutes after X-Files movie?

It’s a dream-catcher and SSDD

EARLY GRAVE! I prefer being late.

King never shy’s away from Fat as Fear…

Memory Warehouse

Time to off yourself. Psycho Psychiatrist. Jonesy?

Great you just shot the guy next door.

So far…office jobs.

Is everybody Psychic?

another desk job.

Best fried clams in the state…that is a weird first date.

The key trick does not get you dates.

Half past 6…she ain’t gonna be there.

Jason Lee is the only one without a job. Unless you count drunk with a toothpick.

SSDD

Beaver has nothing. Jonesy has wife and kids.

Save ON MEATS!

As soon as we figured out a way to show people getting hit by cars on film. We used the hell out of it.

Otch Out Fo Miestr Gay

Bite My Bag.

Wait…Beaver got a blow job from a lady after Bingo?

Derry? Like in IT and other Stephen King small town stories?

In the movies. Kiss when you wake up?

Promiseland….reference.

 

Mental Warehouse.

Keep Duddits on the 3rd level

20 years out to Hole in the wall.

Duddits is our dreamcatcher.

Remember when….

Scooby Doo lunch box!

You want to eat half of this dog turd? I mean that is like 5 way turd

Pete can fly.

What kind of bully standoff is this. Happens all the time in Stephen King world.

Blue Buyousuusi

Oooby oooby dooo…

I duddits!

No Bounce, No Play…sometimes I think Stephen King writes down everything he thinks.

Jonesy’s brain warehouse is the warehouse where they meet duddits

Snow in the eye!! glasses..phew.

That’s no deer! That’s a maaan! A stumble man.

Jonesy got ran over by a car and 6 months later only has a limp.

Indian Charm…catches nightmares.

They keep the Dreamcatcher in the hole int he wall.

Is it on the wagon or off the wagon.

Henry forced the guy to eat himself to death. Is that ever listed as cause of death?

Toothpicks are gross.

Mother used to feed me pea soup…

Have you been eating wood chuck turds?

There are fart jokes….there are lots of gross fart jokes.

If you need to urk. also, don’t take a shit in the linen closet.

The kids do not look much like the adults.

Know what is a bad idea…getting a run at a hill in the snow.

I’ve never flipped a car. Unsure if I would be laughing about it.

Peanut Butter calms me down. How do you eat peanut butter…spoon? butter knife? finger?

Great jump scare…saw it from a mile away…but still. Miss Roadkill got me.

Trying to keep a toothpick in your mouth while yelling at a helicopter.

Why is God (Morgan Freeman.) watching me with his huge prosthetic eye worms?

Is this SSDD? In other words is this just weird shit or has the day finally come?

haha…Scooby Dooby Doo we got some work to do now.

What the hell does No Bounce, No Play mean.

Turd is a clinker.

Did you guys used to soak toothpicks in cinnamon?

Humor and Horror go hand in hand.

Blue Bayou comfort song.

Blue vs Gray?

That is one strong worm creature.

Oh man…that door handle coming off in your hand…that is the worst!

Beaver made a sacrifice. Was his power premonitions? bad feelings? I got a bad feeling about this Jonesy

That is one big alien. He’s translucent…and slimy.

Oh…his head popped into a red mist…gross.

Time to mobilize the military.

Is it my imagination or are Morgan Freeman’s eyebrows even bigger in this movie.

Named after that broad in Aliens.

Grey Boy look…

The Shit Weasels!

Blue Boy…Bucko

The alien only infects some.

We are not regular army…thank goodness Maple came in to explain it back to us.

Oh…do not Scout’s honor when the general has a loaded gun.

So much blood in this movie.

25 years he has been fighting aliens.

In Fast and hard , out clean and smiling.

She ain’t napping for farts!

The scene everybody loves…the Jonesy snap to smile.

The truck that handles like a luxury car.

Know things. Talk to one another. Duddits gave them the gift.

Writing your name in the snow….dick chomp!

Fire to the crotch is the only way to stop those things.

Mighty Mouse is on the way!

Beaver had nothing in his head.

 

Pete knows Mr. Gray is a bond Villian.

whisper messages while talking. Repeat emphasis?

The red stuff looks like rust for organics.

He used Beaves catchphrase.

Did he not notice the dead man in the tub?

Oh. They lay eggs…really gross eggs.

Liquid Fire!!

oh no…they already hatched!

King uses leaches and wormy things a lot.

What is up with these guys and dropping sticks.

Can you light a match with your finger? Strike anywhere matches.

ohh…they use a maneuver called dreamcatcher with duddits in the middle.

Love this music they use when trying to locate the missing girl. It reminds me of 90s Goosebumps music.

Kids love hanging around trains! In King stories anyways.

Alien space crash.

I’m that dog. I’m that monster.

Aww…the greys are so swee….oh fuck! What are those things! Wormy shits…kill ’em all.

That ship has a self destruct and boy..

Bite my bag.

Wait…has he infested Jonesys body or is he mimicking it? Cause he just morphed into an alien.

Where is Jonesy? Is he in the head?

Grote…don’t eat the meat!

He’s got 4 boxes of Duddits…I could eat 4 boxes of Duddits at the movies. mmm…Milk Duddits.

That is a lot of hazmat suits.

Do we still say “Getting too old for this shit?”

The study shows squats.

A hitchhiker is our greatest fear.

Blue Boys, Blue Zone, Blue Camp. Blue Blue.

Shop at Walmart and never misses an episode of Friends

hehe…in true military fashion. He calls Eddie Dr. Boston…cause that is where he is from.

Over the Curtis line!

Time for some Star Wars wipes….lots of them.

call 1-800-Henry…that ain’t even numbers.

How much crack am I smoking right now? The gun is a phone. MY GUN IS A PHONE..EVERYTHING IS A PHONE.

Nice sweater jacket. Lukemia! No…not Duddits! Not the duds! Also, those Scooby Doo lunchboxes are indestructible.

Victory pose mom!

Uh oh…that gun has a tracker in it.

Keeping an Asian in your Truck closet.

What happened in Montana? Several mentions. Shit must have went bad. Tell us that story!

Wipe!

He ate the trooper!

Poor old Donnie. He looks sick!

Mr Gay is Mr. Gray. Mr. Gray wants war…or water. Duds

One worm…One worm to kill the world.

Would the military let a helicopter just fly away without pursuit?

WIPE

Go faster! Oops…car and snow no go. No Snow. No Go.

That may be overkill to kill somebody with a helicopter.

Mutual Kill.

Morgan Freeman wore fake eyebrows! What!

Shoot him! Shoot him!

How heavy are manhole covers?

I can understand that big eel weasel getting int he water and causing problems. But that little jiggly worm would prolly get eet.

So the alien was inside…but is a mist? that can become solid? or did it come out of his butthole? or did the mist come from his butthole?

I want to dress as Duds for Halloween.

Duds needs to blow his nose.

Duds is heavy man. Heavier than he looks.

You thought you got me…I got you!! I Duddits!

Do all aliens have scorpion tails?

ew ew ew…red stuff! red stuff!

squish.

But to black!

Meanwhile back at the hole in the wall.

Fuck Me Freddy

Kiss My Bender

Bite My Bag

Fuckaree/row/roo

Jesus Christ-Bananas

Doodlyfuck