INTROHello, Yes... this is Roger Corman! Would I like to make a movie? Of Course I would looove to make a movie. Do I have an idea? Of course I have an idea! I have thousands of ideas. Those ideas are all just racing around up there in my head...circling round and around and around... waiting to speed out and murder the world. Err...Entertain. Entertain the world. Vroom! I know... How about a remake! I heard the kids liked that Hunger Games and The Mad Max Fury Road. I even heard that Scott Johnson kid in Utah has an unhealthy thing for Tom Hardy. I need to get in on some of that action! Yes sir-ree Let's do it! Let's remake Death Race! Here...I'll produce! Hold on let me see what I got in my couch...how does a bottle cap, some corn flakes and 1 million dollars in change sound? Can we make it for that? Wait, what am I asking you for...of course we can make it for that..I'm Roger Corman! Go Go Go little ideas! Race from my brains and destroy the world....ENTERTAIN! I MEANT ENTERTAIN! 1000 points! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgzvW0Y0qBM (more…)
INTROOh hi, Psst...Ben...over here...it's me...your pal Harry...Listen..dying here on the cellar floor has got me thinking about what's important in life and our roles in society. It's like the universe is trying to tell us something man. I mean, the dead are coming back to life and You, a black man, shooting me, a bald white man named Harry...irony... and my ghoul of a child eating my flesh.... and then there is my wife...she's been on me all day like some kind dingle berry caught in my ass hair. Oh I'm "Harry" down there let me tell ya... in a very non ironic way...I wanna see Morissette sing about that, don't ya think. Anywho, what was I babbling on about? oh yeah...I just can't die and come back to life and eat your flesh without telling you something first. cough cough...I just want you to know...clear throat...I told ya so. CELLAR FOR THE WIN. You're in my house now bitch. "Let's stay upstairs...board up the windows and doors...blah blah blah..." How is that working out for ya Ben. Ghoulie Attack! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uSWaUyrsgc (more…)
INTROOh hi, Look, I'm just going to vamp out loud for a minute...vamp out loud...vamp'ing... alright, let's see If I can understand this film..warning. I'm gonna use some air quotes. "Eternal Vampire Teen;" LeStat is awakened from his "Sad Nap" when the suburban kids next door start a nu-metal band to piss off their parents. LeStat "tries out" for the band and lands "lead vocals." Ow. Finger cramps. LeStat finds some success as a rocker and "Taylor Swifts" (ow) his Vampire Family. (Now that's a shaming!) Meanwhile, "Grown ass" teenager, Jesse rebels against her strict orthodox parents by pursuing Bad Boy LeStat after she reads LeStat's personal diary outlining his failures in love including a cringe worthy moment with his Egyptian Grandma and his subsequent loneliness. Jesse is all like... "I'm lonely too! You get me LeStat! Let's run away together and live happily ever after!" At this point I took my own "Sad Nap" and when I woke up Great Great Grandma Vampire was turning to dust which is what happens when you sleep with your Grandkids. So I thought the movie was over...but apparently, LeStat still had to confront his girlfriend's father figure to confess he gave Jesse VD. "Vampire Disease." But even that wasn't the end because Lestat still wanted to make up for his misdeeds by delivering Jesse's dad a Vampire "Life Partner"... who David had apparently been stalking through "Instagram" like painting which weren't even a thing in 2002 so this whole theory is kind of falling apart at this point. Randy! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_bIQzFH8II (more…)
INTROOh hi, ...holy crap it's time for yet another round of Theme Song Fact Check... where I will attempt to validate the facts of this weeks title song without singing along. God save us all. It's this again.
Flintstones, meet the FlintstonesNo thanks! and yeah...i'm singing it!
They're the modern Stone Age FamilyI can't do it! This is the 3rd time I have done this stupid routine in 2 months!
From the town of BedrockIt's a fictional town!
They're a page right out of historyAt no time did man and dinosaurs live together! Alright! I'm skipping right to the end!
When you're with the FlintstonesHold on Scott it's almost over!
Have a yabba-dabba-doo timeHey! When are we going to sack Scooby Doo? What we already did?!
A dabba-doo time We'll have a gay old timeThat used to mean happy! and It still does....in Vegas! Oh wow! i think I'm gonna be sick. Randy get me some Vitamins... No....not those!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KwgJm-6094 (more…)