Film Sack

Queen of the Damned (2002) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi, Look, I'm just going to vamp out loud for a minute...vamp out loud...vamp'ing... alright, let's see If I can understand this film..warning. I'm gonna use some air quotes. "Eternal Vampire Teen;" LeStat is awakened from his "Sad Nap" when the suburban kids next door start a nu-metal band to piss off their parents. LeStat "tries out" for the band and lands "lead vocals." Ow. Finger cramps. LeStat finds some success as a rocker and "Taylor Swifts" (ow) his Vampire Family. (Now that's a shaming!) Meanwhile, "Grown ass" teenager, Jesse rebels against her strict orthodox parents by pursuing Bad Boy LeStat after she reads LeStat's personal diary outlining his failures in love including a cringe worthy moment with his Egyptian Grandma and his subsequent loneliness. Jesse is all like... "I'm lonely too! You get me LeStat! Let's run away together and live happily ever after!" At this point I took my own "Sad Nap" and when I woke up Great Great Grandma Vampire was turning to dust which is what happens when you sleep with your Grandkids. So I thought the movie was over...but apparently, LeStat still had to confront his girlfriend's father figure to confess he gave Jesse VD. "Vampire Disease." But even that wasn't the end because Lestat still wanted to make up for his misdeeds by delivering Jesse's dad a Vampire "Life Partner"... who David had apparently been stalking through "Instagram" like painting which weren't even a thing in 2002 so this whole theory is kind of falling apart at this point. Randy! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_bIQzFH8II (more…)

By Brian Dunaway, ago
Film Sack

The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000) – Filmsack Show Intro

INTRO

Oh hi, ...holy crap it's time for yet another round of Theme Song Fact Check... where I will attempt to validate the facts of this weeks title song without singing along. God save us all. It's this again.
Flintstones, meet the Flintstones
No thanks! and yeah...i'm singing it!
They're the modern Stone Age Family
I can't do it! This is the 3rd time I have done this stupid routine in 2 months!
From the town of Bedrock
It's a fictional town!
They're a page right out of history
At no time did man and dinosaurs live together! Alright! I'm skipping right to the end!
When you're with the Flintstones
Hold on Scott  it's almost over!
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
Hey! When are we going to sack Scooby Doo? What we already did?!
A dabba-doo time We'll have a gay old time
That used to mean happy! and It still does....in Vegas! Oh wow! i think I'm gonna be sick. Randy get me some Vitamins... No....not those!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KwgJm-6094

(more…)

By Brian Dunaway, ago
Film Sack

The Whole Nine Yards (2000) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi, Man, all the ladies in this week's filmsack movie are "smoking!"  am i right? High five guys! Seriously though, why are all the ladies in this movie smoking tobacco products? I have concerns. Oh....and Amanda Peet...more like Amanda's Teets! Yeah, Ibbott knows what I'm talking about. You paused that so many times that even Blockbuster couldn't rewind it. Up top brother! What...c'mon! Don't leave me hanging! Well, can I at least get a shout out to inappropriate mentor/student relations? Bruce Willis...40s hooks up with Amanda Peet in her 20s using his influence as a hitman hero. Wow, That whole story line just touched me....inappropriately...and deserves to go to jail. Overall, I give this movie two teets up. My eyes are up here Randy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nNXq0ygF4Q (more…)

By Brian Dunaway, ago
Film Sack

Catwoman (2004) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh, hi meow. Midnight talent agency how may I claw your eyes out today? Purr Purr. Oh my yes, Mrs. Berry would love to be in your movie. Meow Meow What's that? What are her qualifications? Meow Meow. Well she has 10's of minutes of experience with cats. Meow. I would even go so far as to say she is a sort of cat-spert. Meow. Why I saw her just this morning looking at cat pics on the internet. Meow. It's Caturday after all...Meow Meow. Excellent I'll let her know. and yes we do accept payment in the form of cans of tuna. Purr Purr. What's that? Sharon Stone is also casted. Hiss. Well  then we are going to need some extra cans of tuna and a scratching post in Mrs. Berry's dressing room. but no need for a shower in her trailer. She is going to mouth bathe herself after eating 8 cans of tuna on her bed. So sexy. Meow Meow Alright, I got to go lick my butt for 2 hours. Talk to you later meow. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aa3pw406-Ro (more…)

By Brian Dunaway, ago
Film Sack

8 Mile (2002) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh hi, ummm hi, yes...My name is Brian but my friends call me the Reluctant Rhyme Slayer. Well, they never called me that before tonight...but  on the drive over I heard it a lot. I guess I should have probably known something was up. Hey, thanks for signing me up for this guys and oh...by the way...nothing like Karaoke. alright...so..I guess...umm...can I get a beat? Thanks. Ah yeah...that's dope. Yo....MTV Raps Oh before I start I would just like to thank my opponent here for going first and  for his many honest words. While they were very hurtful.... I feel like I have a great opportunity to take those observations and make some real changes in my life. First thing Monday I'm going on a diet and getting some clothes that fit. Also, can I just say you really took that "spitting rhymes" thing to  heart. I mean I've never been that close to an actual rap and I was not aware how much saliva was involved. Look at me...I'm dripping over here. Alright, so let's get this over with...what's that? Times up? Oh Thank God. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCeuB9SS1HM (more…)

By Brian Dunaway, ago