"Local South African dance choreographer and ass blaster impersonator Chance Naidoo here.
Please step back white people. I am about to blow your collective minds as I light my ass on fire and rocket skyward as if....well... as if my ass were on fire. Be envious as I do those really sweet vertical leaps using only my crazy strong calf muscles...yes...just like in National Geographic.
Uh oh. Things have gone horribly wrong! It appears instead of lighting the fuse to my home made phosphorus device... which I have stuck in my bum... I have mistakenly lit my penis on fire. Which I sometimes refer to as my "Graboid." Damn these authentic South African Tribal Dance Attire and their crotchless fashion sense."
Said no South African ever. Always be running.