Catwoman (2004) – Filmsack Show Notes

INTRO

Oh, hi meow.

Midnight talent agency how may I claw your eyes out today? Purr Purr.

Oh my yes, Mrs. Berry would love to be in your movie. Meow Meow

What’s that? What are her qualifications? Meow Meow.

Well she has 10’s of minutes of experience with cats. Meow. I would even go so far as to say she is a sort of cat-spert. Meow. Why I saw her just this morning looking at cat pics on the internet. Meow. It’s Caturday after all…Meow Meow.

Excellent I’ll let her know. and yes we do accept payment in the form of cans of tuna. Purr Purr.

What’s that? Sharon Stone is also casted. Hiss. Well  then we are going to need some extra cans of tuna and a scratching post in Mrs. Berry’s dressing room. but no need for a shower in her trailer. She is going to mouth bathe herself after eating 8 cans of tuna on her bed. So sexy. Meow Meow

Alright, I got to go lick my butt for 2 hours. Talk to you later meow.

Continue reading “Catwoman (2004) – Filmsack Show Notes”

Around The World In 80 Days (2004) : Filmsack – Notes

Around The World In 80 Days (2004)

Intro:

As you guys know…I have a wife for everyday of the week.  But good news! I’ve decided to divorce Tuesday wife for more sacking! Viva La Filmsack. Now if you will excuse me. I have to go urinate in public and re-attach this mans nipples. Don’t worry. I’m going to wash my hands before and after each…because otherwise that would be gross. Lord Salisbury stop pointing at my thinker!

Links:

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0327437

WIKIPEDIA: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Around_the_World_in_80_Days_(2004_film)

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlsgwJUNFNU

JUSTWATCH: https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/around-the-world-in-80-days

Twitter:

Around The World In 80 Days (2004) – Like taking a “Steamer” to London captained by a man with no nipples. Wear the rubber underpants!

Notes:

That China-Man is robbing the bank of England.

The Steam Punk Conehead

Wear the rubber pants

Trope: Agree to a dangerous job to avoid apprehension / Oh you must be the Servant from Servant Co that I was expecting.

Crazy backyard scientist….

Flubber and movies of this like use Steam powered science that is more akin to bubbly soda

Nothing funnier than the ole face punch through a painting where the painting face should be.

I don’t think they know what a Valet is. or perhaps I do not

Ramsey invented the slinky in the late 1800s and was put in the lunatic asylum.

Impregnable vs impenetrable.

As adjectives the difference between impenetrable and impregnable is that impenetrable is not penetrable while impregnable is too strong to be penetrated or impregnable can be capable of being impregnated.

Lord Salisbury

A woman in the Royal Academy!

The Jade Buddha

Little Red Rule Book

I got to admit…I laughed at Passport Two…passepartout

Turns on with a whistle.

Was 50 miles per hour ever really a barrier?

The whisper game

Elderly Norwegians with very tiny feet

Fortnight (2 weeks)

These British have the best teeth of any British I have seen in the late 1800s

Challenge extended. Challenge accepted.

Everyone has a price…or do they.

The wager…no more science…or all the science. Royal Academy of Science head…sounds like a lot of work.

Sitting in my copper tub….thinking about my poor choices.

Keep getting this movie confused with Shanghai Knights

Nothing funnier than seeing an authoritarian figure being drug down the road by a horse/car

Me Brain’s Leaking!

Trope: Asian lady who is good with knives

Ahh…the early years of 3d animation. Nice twist on the map travel interstitials or transitions though

Wait a moment! This is not science…it is art.

Grass is not charcoal.

Man is not a chicken….The Van Gogh loop was very popular in France during the late 1800s

You dream of flying and naked men?

Women are getting pushed out everywhere.

Old French ladies are always trying to take a bite out of Jackie Chan

Old French lady taking a face plant made me laugh.

Brothel humor makes me laugh. No it does not.

Ahh…Jackie Chan…saving sleeping ladies from their own incompetence

The statue is grabbing his trousers! It also has dreams of flying and naked men.

Jackie Chan getting pants is always good humor.

Jackie Chan is the bumbling fool that has skills…the police man is just bumbling

Fogg is smitten with fancy hoes.

A wild Arnold appears.

What a weird choice for Istanbul prince?

I never think when I am naked…

Arnold does not like you pointing at his thinker.

Bathing suits are weird.

A wife for each day of the week. But what if I want to be single on Tuesdays!

They are taking the idea of Fat Cats to the highest degree.

Lord Kelvin is cold.

Cross Dressing is always funny …especially when trying to escape in a crowd. except that it is not and always ends with the hunter being smitten with the prey until they realize…and the pursuit continues

Man of many chains…you do not want to go against…the man of many chains

Sake and Dominos

Perhaps one of the most violent Disney movies since Flubber

Drunk China-man..

kanpai! is that also a Chinese cheer? or just Japanese.

Chinese: Nien Nien nu e. Kong Chien
Chinese: Yung sing (“drink and win”)
Chinese Cantonese: Gom bui (“dry the cup”)
Chinese Mandarin: Gan bei (“dry the cup”)

I went back…she is saying Gom Bui…possibly Gan bei.

Chan, surveying the pre-show chaos, periodically contributed comments in a mishmash of English, Mandarin, and Cantonese, the language of his native Hong Kong. “I’ve forgotten how to speak Cantonese!” he said. In Beijing, where he lives now, Mandarin is spoken. He leaned over to a young Chinese-American visitor nearby.

That is one convenient story-telling dresser..it has pictures and letters and everything to easily explain everything for Fogg…who is an idiot.

Fogg…the last to know.

Screaming China-Man….”Please let me go. I am bored!”

Ding Ding Ding….no no…Ding Dang Dong…Passpourtout

Mr. Grumpy and the leatherettes

Your silly bracelet.

French ladies like to spit.

This is some good fighting.

Jackie Chan has his ass stuck in a cart. Go home to momma.

10 Tigers!

Chair and Ladder assists are always in Jackie Chan fighting.

I really admire the Chinese people. They always seem to put a lot of work in…that’s why I hate to see someone get thrown into a pile of collected work…like when I a Chinese citizen sorts all those skittles by color just to have a bad guy get tossed into it. ugh.

Public Urinater got to do what a public urinater got to do. I think I got some pee pee on me.

an hour and 20 minutes in and act 2 is over…time for act 3

Does this wall ever end? It’s like some kind of great wall. Perhaps you will run into Matt Damon. I wish a I had a valet

I’m such a Rutabaga.

Drug broker.

Alms…for the poor?

A wild Rob Schneider appears…and smells like a dead horse.

I’ll cut you with my wooden spoon! You devil worshipping drawer.

Got to be a record for Cameos in a Filmsack movie.

Where are the Flying Men! The bird men are coming.

A man who lives what he dreams

So did Disney just have a few actors on payroll they needed to use?

haha….was sad when I realized this was not Shanghi Knights…then happy again when Cowboy Owen Wilson showed up…then sad again when Luke Wilson appeared.

Crazy English Wanna Be Cowboy Man….get out the way.

America loves a good wager

Taking a “Steamer” to London.

That was one epic battle.

She is the 11th Tiger and Finally…a lady punches a lady out.

Formula…The Threesome. Man/Woman romance and Third Wheel who has a seperate agenda but is friends with both man and woman.

How many filmsack films have The Statue of Liberty in them?

Did we do Ghostbusters 2?

Captain no nips hasn’t gotten any since the shark attack

Most people would laugh at you. not us. We care about you

Birds is the idea…burn birds.

New nipples for a boat. You had me at the nipples

Those poor sailors…stuck at sea with a captain with no nipples.

As most American Technology of the late 1800s…powered by a china-man

It’s a slinky…fun for Lord Kelvin

Look out for darts in the back

Street people are afraid of bird people….

We didn’t go to New Zealand

I’m a battered Lord

Big fat royal bottom!

She’s behind me isn’t she.

In another timeline…the queen of England hobbles James Caan…and in another she takes a sit in a hot tub with Jack Nicholson.

I am not even going to try to figure out timezones.

 

Stand By Me (1986) (Show Notes)

Stand By Me (1986)  –

Like Patrick Beja knocking up my cat & knocking over my trash. At first I would be pissed…but then I would have Beja Kitties to cuddle so it’s all good.

[usr 5.0] *WARNING : My show notes are unrated. I do not censor my thoughts while making notes. Listen Now

– FilmSack Edition

Stand by Me (film) – Wikipedia

Stand by Me is a 1986 American coming-of-age drama film directed by Rob Reiner and starring Wil Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, and Jerry O’Connell. The film, whose plot is based on Stephen King’s novella (1982) and title is derived from Ben E.

Opener: Oh hi, Normally each week I try to make you think with a humorous anecdote followed by a random thing. Not this week. Instead I am going to depress those of you who saw this movie as a kid with a thought that occurred to me. More time has passed since this movie was released than the time that passed between 1959, the time period which this movie took place, and 1986 when the film was released.  Also, Skroat Leech…makes me pass out every time.

Stand by Me (1986)

R  |   |  Adventure, Drama  |  22 August 1986 (USA)

.

Stand by Me (1986)

Directed by Rob Reiner. With Wil Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, Jerry O’Connell. After the death of a friend, a writer recounts a boyhood journey to find the body of a missing boy.

 

Stuff I Loved:

So Netflix and Chill

Safari Jeep!

Soft and slow Stand by me.

Attorney Christopher Chambers! Noooo.

Mormons! Nah…just some kids on a  bike.

12 Going on 13…dead human being.

It was the summer of fifty nine

Castle Rock! That is Stephen King area

All the 50s music

Lousy Frenchmen knocking up my dog.

Eddie has a smoking problem and has a father with fits of rage…Look at that ear!

River Phoenix I miss you.

Roll me up some pants.

The fat square kid who gets excited.

Did you guys have a tree house

Smoking in a tree house! that’s a good plan.

You didn’t deal yourself no pat hand!

You want to get some 12 year old’s attentions…ask them if they want to see a dead body.

Worst map maker ever if you can’t remember a map to under your front porch

Ray Browder went to pick blueberries…no return.

Train tracks. I had train tracks in the woods behind my house when I was 12. Used to throw rocks at the cars and leave pennies on the track.

Tenting out in the back field.

It’s worth a hiding.

Always have to jiggle the fat guy.

Richard Dreyfus is depressing me.

4 months is an eternity to a 12 year old. Just a blink of the eye for grieving parents.

3 stooges reference.

Why can’t you be more like your dead brother…

Pants patches.

Pants with no belts…who are these people!

Kids and guns…12 year…Jeeebus!

You wet head?

Also, the gun is always loaded. Unless it ain’t

Were the actors already amazing at this time? or did Rob Reiner just have a knack? or did he help guide these kids?

You don’t take a dudes hat.

The walking ass kick.

Hey Beave? who brought the Beave?

Yeah yeah…yeah yeah….yeah yeah

Jerry Connel.

I don’t know any walking songs. TV theme songs are not available to today’s youth.

You guys gonna starve? you been walking through half a tv theme song.

2.37. That’ll buy 12 Moons Pies and 20 Pepsi Colas.

Teddy wants to die. How is facing a train like the beeches of Normandy?

Trains make any conversation more intense.

Skin it…Skin it bitch. I imagine they have some pretty sweaty hands by now.

Mailbox baseball…that is a good way to get shot.

Poor Verne’s mom.

Chopper…sick balls. Still remember that from my childhood.

Wil can’t run.

12 years olds watching The Mouse Club?

I haven’t had a canteen since I was a kid. is Canteen shape really the most efficient way to carry water?

4 tails is a goocher.

Morophodite…

Mother jokes.

QUidolicious? Quidage?

Milk for dinner…growing boys.

I need to shop at more stores that keep pickled things in jars.

Why would you sic your down on a kid.

Crazier than a shit house rat…that is pretty crazy…and smelly.

I learned a lot of insults from this movie. Rob Reiner is a sicko.

These kids are filthy.

Jerry always tries to bring the fun.

Razortoos. Cobrassss

Boy you don’t know nothing.

Superman Vs Mighty Mouse

Being a creative sucks in the 60s

No…not the comb!

Verne lays down…I would kill him.

That was the most intense thing ever in a movie.

Hershey Squizzes? what did he say?

If this was a modern movie one of these kids would be trying to get a phone signal.

It’s not his fault…it’s his glands.

The Radio man was king during this period of history.

Everybody loves a fatass

Too many people in that audience are in unison.

That is less about eating a pie and more about smooshing your face into a pie.

Castor Oil…in a very non descript bottle that says Castor oil…where are the ingredients?

and one large egg?

Booooing.

Grody to the max….Poor Boss Man.

Benevolent Order Of Antelopes

We are starting think maybe you should just take shop instead of making up puke stories Gordo.

Filmsack roundtable discussions – What is Goofy?  Name one food for the rest of your life?

That is a lot of coyotes!

Watch Cop Car !!

I’ve seen too many shows about parasites to enjoy Gordo walking in the woods barefoot.

What milk money did he take? Old lady Simon was a bitch. That must have been one awesome skirt.

3 out of the 4 kids have cried in this movie. But not Gordo…not even at his brother’s funeral.

Gordo ain’t human.

Gang Busters Comic!

What was the deer? a sign? why didn’t he ever speak of it? Was it his brother?

It was hot and those guys are filthy…..why didn’t they take advantage of the leaky water tower?

That was a pretty worn path leading away from the tracks to the woods.

Pabst!

Fishing, Drinking, Smoking, Insulting Moms and listening to the radio

Can you get famous by finding a dead body.

Oh gawrd…I hate muddy mud mud.

Jerry is wearing a belt.

Not great outdoorsmen. Probe the water with a stick 2 feet from the bank…it may get deeper.

Leeches…oh deer jeebus

Skroat Leech…makes me pass out everytime.

I find it hard to believe that Wil Wheaton grows up to look like Richard Dreyfus

You cock knocker…ehehahah

Wow…that was easy to find Ray….There he is!

And the 4th one falls…

We got dibs.

What kind of nickname is eyeballs?

Son of a whore.

Ace brought a knife to a gun fight.

All them gangster comics have prepared him just for this.

Suck my fat one.

What were there plans on taking the body back anyways?

Walking for 2 days. I can barely walk for 2 hours

School is going to be hell.

Have Gun Will Travel…

Chris finally got stabbed. Knew fast food would be the end of him

Getting a Doogie Howser Vibe from the terminal screen.

You guys are my friends at 12 years old.

 

 

National Treasure (2004) (Show Notes)

National Treasure (2004)  –

Like sitting through the entire movie credits roll….just in case there is a Sean Bean death scene.

No? how about

Like 2 hours of Adam West Batman trying to help Robin get there…I could condescend for hours.


[usr 5.0]
*WARNING : My show notes are unrated. I do not censor my thoughts while making notes. Listen Now

– FilmSack Edition

National Treasure (film) – Wikipedia

National Treasure is a 2004 American adventure heist film produced and released by Walt Disney Pictures. It was written by Jim Kouf and the Wibberleys, produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and directed by Jon Turteltaub. It is the first film in the National Treasure franchise and stars Nicolas Cage, Harvey Keitel, Jon Voight, Diane Kruger, Sean Bean, Justin Bartha and Christopher Plummer.

Opener: Oh hi, Listen, if Nicholas Cage asks you to get into his “smuggler’s hole” and blow on his “National Treasure” to reveal an secret message…well…the message is… you’ve made some pretty bad life choices buddy. Also, avoid Jon Voight’s Anaconda… this movie is not for the dirty minded.

as Nicholas Cage says… I could condescend for hours…

.

National Treasure (2004)

Directed by Jon Turteltaub. With Nicolas Cage, Diane Kruger, Justin Bartha, Sean Bean. A historian races to find the legendary Templar Treasure before a team of mercenaries.

 

Stuff I Loved:

 

Washington 1974

Movie dust.

Grampa scary face!

You should know the story.

“On a night much like this….”

Damn you masons!

I want to see Andrew Jackson.

My Grandfather’s Grandfather…that’s like Grandfather to the 4th power

The Knights’ Templar…

Everybody was a mason.

That kid is really focused on Grandfather’s story.

The secret lies with Charlotte….that slut

Nicholas Cage is knighted

Sean Bean….wonder if he will die

I broke a whole Nike store’s worth of Shoe laces to end up watching this turd.

You are right…you are no expert.

Hey! I found something with my metal detector.

Good guys wear black….bad guys wear white.

Hey Sean Bean…what do you reckon is in these gun powder barrels? gun powder you say?

One eyed Willie…

That is one serious smoking pipe.

Man you would look like a fool smoking that pipe. How pretentious.

Blood letting in movies. Have you ever had to cut yourself…fuck that shit…well now that you bled all over the priceless pipe…I guess it is yours.

Let me walk around and ask myself questions about this riddle…

This is about as bad as Batman in the 60s where Burt Ward was always talking out riddles and trying to make Robin think…think Robin!

A resolution….A resolution…

Sean Bean is always wanting to “borrow” shit.

Sean can catch…he can catch ON FIRE!

get out of my smugglers hole

Stop riddling me Batman…why are you always talking down to me.

Blue Jeans and a sports coat.

Gawd he is such a button know it all.

The uncomfortable conversation. We are not crazy!

and the music plays softly…I stand up…

Oh…I bet that scene will be in the trailer!

Let me show you how it can’t be done…cause you are crazy…

I found 2000 ways to not make a lightbulb.

The Heist montage. Let me explain this while you watch these oddly shot interstitials that contain a lot of wipes and things opening and closing over some funky intense yet playful music

Does the music ever stop in heist movies…it’s exhausting

The black tie affair in the heist movies.

….entrails cut out and BURNED!

Throwing a chain into

a fan…that is not how that would turn out.

Sean Bean has lasted longer than I would have thought.

Valley Forge you bunch of dumbasses.

“The get out of there now moment..” during heist movies.

If I saw a bunch of bullet holes in the Declarations case I would assume they were shooting at it to get it out…not someone using it as a shield.

Quiet please…I need to pace and talk out loud.

Shutup please.

One doesn’t simply solve a riddle. He must condescend while doing it.

Why would there be a rule of thumb of secret maps…upper right hand corner.

Grody…why would you hot breath it in someone’s face.

Lucky bad guy.

Solving riddles all day

The movie search engine.

Heist movies always have at least “shifted” time moment. Uh oh…they are almost at the same location! they are going to catch them…nope…they already left.

Spectacles…are those the same ones that was in the Transformers?

Hey, I found Waldo! Outside the liberty bell place.

The Trade and the double cross.

Things just got real. Dead guy falling

No treasure…Treasure…no treasure.

Hey, that is a ship shaped hole.

Dad is finally on board…all the feels and the heals.

Spiders have been busy down here. Goes to show you…if you leave a place alone long enough…a spider will come build a web.

Maybe this room leads to the treasure. nope…this room?