Ok Ok. Kate is 9 now and she is losing her faith in Santa Clause and as her dad and I have to fix that.
So I’ve climbed up here on the roof of our house on Christmas Eve and I am going to shimmy…..down the chimmy…hehe…chimmy…AND deliver these age appropriate Christmas gifts for my darling Kate. Who hates Thanksgiving. Weirdo
Ok ok, Straighten up Santa…time to take inventory.
Let’s see, Weird pet from ChinaTown. Check.
Santa Clause Suit 2 sizes too big from ChristmasTown aka JC Penny. Check.
Belly full of Egg Nog from Dorry’s Tavern. Check. Check Checkity Check.
Ok, Ho ho ho, Here we go.
*Grunting and squeezing…a little too fat.
Oh, Hey little fellow what are you doing out of your box. Eww and why are you all slimy and gross.
Move you stupid thing you are gonna make me fall and break my neck. Oh no no no
The end. Merry Christmas Kate!
Directed by Joe Dante. With Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, Hoyt Axton, John Louie. A boy inadvertently breaks three important rules concerning his new pet and unleashes a horde of malevolently mischievous monsters on a small town.
Gremlins is a 1984 American comedy horror film directed by Joe Dante and released by Warner Bros. The film is about a young man who receives a strange creature called a mogwai as a pet, which then spawns other creatures who transform into small, destructive, evil monsters.
Gremlins (1984) – Like a bad case of Dragon Breath. Bong! #WhenWillWePassStricterGremlinGunLaws
Friends…Nobody got a story like mine.
Meanwhile down in ChinaTown. Where exactly is China Town?
Look kid…I am not going down here to Grandfather’s shop.
Go ahead Mister… “every kid in every movie.” Mister!
Is that Chinese Chess?
Is it real? Everything is real.
The salesman is now the shopper…
Bus, Plane or Train. You got yourself a bad case of Dragon Breath…bong.
that is some nasty green toothpaste.
Ran Peltzer. I make the illogical…logical
This is Spielberg lighting in this opening scene.
100 dollars for Mogwai? It’s a gift for my son…exactly what I have been looking for…for my 16 year old son. 200 dollars? Not gonna sell him for any price.
Look Mister…here are the rules…
Simon…that is not how you snowball fight.
The cop is corrupt. Wants free trees.
That Bug ain’t gonna start
That’s a Kentucky Harvester.
haha…Say hello to your wife for me.
If you can get to your job by lightly jogging…why not just lightly jog to work.
He’s always late.
Miss Deagle is trying to shut down the thing.
how did his dog do that? he’s been with me all morning
Put him in my spin dryer on high heat…that would do it alright.
Spielberg….liked to insult his kids by comparing them to their parents.
The Peltzer Cock Chop. I JUST WANT SOME DURN EGGS!
This movie has echoes of Wizard of Oz…Miss Deagle
It’s a Wonderful Life…down at the bank.
I have a bathroom buddy
“What is it? A birdcage?” SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE!
What a great family. They all want to support dear old dad by using his inventions.
He hates bright lights. Worst pet ever. Can’t get him wet. Can’t expose him to light…and some kind of weird restrictive eating schedule. But hey…at least he sings.
He’s some kind of musical savant.
You had the Mogwai for like 5 minutes and you have already tried to kill it with light.
This kid has an unhealthy affair with animals.
All of Dad’s inventions seem to work the first week.
How much juice was in that one grapefruit.
Corey Feldman in a tree.
Peltzer Peeler Juicer.
Don’t show Pete your magical creature!
Hooded Menace down at Dr. Fantasy.
This is a reality where people don’t freak the fook out when they meet a whole new species of animal they have never seen before.
Way to go Pete…Way to kill my pet with paint water.
An animal that reproduces when exposed to water…that would be some seriously bad thing.
5 new ones.
Gizmo is for reals sad.
You are familiar with the bathroom buddy right?
Bathroom Buddy is the swiss army knife of the bathroom.
Mini arcade games. Donkey Kong.
Plain water…it was paint water.
Spike is the new leader. Cause he has a spike.
The Peltzer Pet…that’s not an invention… So he is more interested in being a household name
Poor Barney the dog. Poor Fake Barney.
Power drill flyswatter.
Geez…that is super dangerous mom…to look into the coffee
It’s powered by a pineapple?
“Hey Billy is that a Magwai?”
Foreigners are always putting Gremlins in stuff. I think I have one in my butt! Get out of there Gremlin!
Futterman lost his job. The early 80s.
“While others are opening their presents some are opening their wrists.”
Geez…can’t I just hate Christmas.
Kate is cray!
Thursday’s…Kate is off on Thursdays.
oh man…just a little blood test! ouch!
Skittles, Coke and a Sandwich.
A box full of bouncing Magwai…that is a bit much.
Who feeds Magwai a plate of chicken?…and by the way..gross.
What movies are played during this movie and how do they cue upcoming events in the movie.
The inventors Convention has some “Really Neat Things.” LIKE ROBOTS! Hey Robbie!
On Christmas Eve dad is at an inventors convention.
“…Here’s Mr. Birds Heart…” – Class Film. “uh…hey doc…” -goofy voice.
That is some pretty convincing work on the hatching from the cocoon.
bye kids…good bye. I hope that was not my last bad joke.
Poor Giz…gotta hide in the helmet.
Mr. Hansen got a syringe to the booty
Gremlins do not like apples…but glass beakers are the tops. Yum
The “get out of the house” call.
Some Gremlins like gingerbread men. But they get blended.
Mom is pretty tough. The master of her domain.
Get out of my Kitchen! Knife Knife.
Flea and Tick Killer to the face…then Microwave for 30 seconds.
Who’s giant stocking?
Gremlins are slimey
Chopped his head off…right into the fire.
Stripe had a cold…
Gizmo emotes all the things we are thinking. Thanks Howie. How many sessions did he have to spend making Gizmo noises.
I have the same reaction when I get in the pool at the YMCA
Police never believe about monsters.
Futterman don’t like nothing foreign. Too bad Zenith was sold to the Koreans in the 90s!
The Futtermans…Something about a snowplow and a freak accident.
You always get to drive…Cause I’m the sheriff asshole
Before this movie I had never seen a chair lift for stairs.
A cat named Dollar Bill? She is the cat lady.
I like how the Gremlins can focus in on people’s hates or fears. Or at least irony.
The Deputy doesn’t have enough Nope for all the crap that is happening.
Did the Gremlins fix Billy’s car?
Rocking Ricky! meets his end.
Dad is always trying to sell.
The flasher Gremlin was hilarious when I was a kid…not so much now.
STAR WARS ARCADE!
Stripe shot the cheater gremlin.
All of these gremlins have a theme.
When will we pass stricter gremlin gun laws
How old is Kate. How does she work at a bar?
Now I have another thing to hate about Christmas
9 year old Kate. Decorating the Tree. Dad was a t work..they were waiting. Dad had an office job. Christmas Eve. 4 or 5 days went by. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing. Kate went to start a fire…that is when she noticed the smell. The firemen pulled her dead father out. He had an arm full of presents. He slipped and broke his neck. That is how Kate learned there was no Santa Clause.
This small town is in ruins.
Gremlins love Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
Stripe is always getting away.
E.T.! Cameo! All the toys that I had during the 80s
What kind of retail store had a weird terrarium area
Ouch. Cross bow right to the arm.
Rocking Ricky is still alive!! But he is going to turn the hoses on them! Bad idea Rocking Ricky!
Billy…gonna shoot you int he face Billy.
Grody…Stripe melts in bright light.
We need a jump scare…there ya go
…and fade to slime.
Mass Hysteria on Christmas Eve.
Donald Diegle was a bad man.
There was a box.
I warned you…You are not ready.
“To hear…one only has to listen.” …Goodbye Billy.
Bye Bye Woof Woof.